All the foolish filial piety, just because I love you not deeply enough, not true enough.

Ting has always been a cheerful and enterprising woman in my heart. Do things neatly, very powerful. A few days ago, he suddenly sent me a message asking if it was convenient for me to answer the phone. He wants to talk to me for a while. On the phone, she changed her past indifference and clarity, and talked about family, marriage and mother-in-law intermittently. I just know that there are so many unknown sorrows hidden under her strong appearance, which makes me feel a little distressed.

She and her husband are free to fall in love and get married. Their relationship has always been good and they have a good time. This kind of happiness ended a few days before pregnancy and childbirth, and the situation began to change dramatically when my mother-in-law came to take care of the month.

Mother-in-law Ting has been strong all her life, and her husband and son have to listen to her. Suddenly a species called daughter-in-law appeared, and she was not so obedient. The old lady is not interested in psychology. In order to cultivate daughter-in-law, Zhen Huan biography is staged at home every day. It is one thing for a son to go home, but it is another to face his daughter-in-law at work. I took the time to start talking about Ting's grievances in front of my son, and finally left a sentence: Take care of your daughter-in-law.

As long as her son shows a little doubt or disobedience, or slightly disagrees with her, the old lady begins to play the drama of crying and hanging herself, crying and crying: the hare married his daughter-in-law and forgot his mother, you unfilial son, I raised you for nothing, so let me die quickly, and it won't hurt your eyes if I die. ...

When Ting's husband heard the accusation, he was shocked and worried. Therefore, in order to maintain the "reputation" of his "dutiful son", giving up the principle of being a man, right and wrong are indistinguishable, and good and bad are difficult to distinguish. In order to make his mother live well, he turned his horse to his wife and began to hold his mother's thigh: I am filial to you, I listen to you, and you said you would leave us. So the husband and wife separated when their son was less than one year old.

Ting asked me a question: Why is my husband so stupid and filial? We have been in love for so long. Doesn't he know me? Why does he trust his mother instead of me when these things happen? I thought about it, and said to her: All unbelief is because you once loved him more than he loved you, and all ignorance is because you didn't love him deeply enough and weren't true enough.

Ting said, I don't depend on him financially, and I can't depend on him emotionally. What's the use of asking him?

Maybe one day, Ting will really leave her husband and live a free life. Is this what her husband and mother-in-law expect?

02

After operating this official WeChat account, I have seen too many similar families and many giant baby boys who obey their mothers. To sum up, many young people bend over and uphold filial piety, and dare not owe or violate their parents, mostly because of the grace of parenting. Parents expect everything and would rather kill their wives than let the elderly suffer any injustice.

As a result, many old people have changed their filial piety from "persuasion" to "pressure" on their children and daughters-in-law. In order to control my daughter-in-law like a son, I don't even talk about principles, right and wrong, forced compromise and forced divorce ... There are many people who have such "sexual encounters" because my daughter-in-law is disobedient.

Why does such an old man repeatedly urge success? In fact, to put it bluntly, it is because women love this man and don't want to embarrass their husbands, while men love their mothers more, so they appear. When women compromise, they begin to stage all kinds of tearing wars and even develop into divorce.

Honey, all this is actually because he doesn't love you very much. If he really loves you, he can't bear to see you wronged and indifferent, and can't bear to see you trample on your own dignity to make others' unreasonable troubles, and he won't watch you still go your own way, knowing that it's not your fault, but doing nothing to protect you.

Your so-called good memories and love are just the illusion of love created by you alone, which is different from real love.

When the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are in conflict, he can put aside right and wrong, regardless of your feelings, just to fulfill his filial hat. Simply put, it is because he is unloving and selfish.

A man who really loves you, with a minimum sense of responsibility and guardianship, will give him the courage to argue with his parents.

03

Then say it now. What is ignorance and filial piety?

In fact, the essence of foolish filial piety is an unprincipled and unreasonable moral release. Parents are more grateful to nurture than heaven and earth, so everything between heaven and earth is not as good as filial piety. However, parents also make mistakes, even more and more seriously.

Not knowing filial piety is not the same as not being filial. Traditionally and morally, we must acknowledge the kindness of our parents. However, parents' contribution should not be the "profit" of paying the cost, let alone a tool to capture the foolish filial piety. If you are bound by foolish filial piety, you will lose your principles and decisions, and you will make mistakes. I'm afraid that chaos will become the rhythm of your life.

"The Book of Rites" said: filial piety, followed by humiliation, can be cited below. Simply put, filial piety is your excellent moral character and achievements, so that parents can be respected by others; Secondly, your words and deeds will not make your parents criticized by others; Supporting parents is the lowest filial piety.

True filial piety never emphasizes that children must obey their parents, nor does it give them this right. Too many parents demonize filial piety as a weapon to control their children's free will and life; There are also too many children who misunderstand filial piety and think that filial piety must be obeyed by their parents. In the end, everyone suffers.

To treat true filial piety is to dare to reject the argument that I am doing it for your own good.

For parents, we should be filial, respect their choices, respect their lives, and take care of them when they are old, but it definitely does not include giving them the right to choose their own lives, giving them the ability to think independently, or even their thoughts.

It is a man's responsibility to be filial to his parents, love his wife and children and achieve his career. Don't blindly immerse yourself in filial piety and ignore other things that a man should undertake.

Woman, when choosing love, remember to bring your heart, not just your eyes and ears. Learn to discover true love and leave the whirlpool of unknown people. If you have stepped into this chaos, please give yourself the ability to be independent and the courage to pick up your dignity and come out.