What are the funny classic quotations?

1. Why is your nonsense more than the advertisement of Hunan Satellite TV?

2. I want to be as thin as lightning to illuminate all the wretched fat people.

There are no inseparable couples, only mistresses who don't work hard.

4. Without hair, dandruff is more prominent.

5. Brush the toilet with the landlord's toothbrush when you are depressed.

6. Cucumber lies in shooting, and life lies in hey.

7. The mind is a commodity, not an ornament.

8. The tattooed person is not necessarily a rogue, he may be Yue Fei.

9. The most painful thing in the world is not the parting of life and death, but the coming exam. Others are reviewing, and I am previewing.

10. Your smile is brighter than shit in the sun.

1 1. If two people are together for a long time, gazing at each other is also a romantic thing.

12. My heart is not a bus. I don't want you to sit down if there is a vacant seat.

13. Count the stars with me. Count the moon if your IQ is low.

14. mermaid, I love you. Only you won't cheat.

15. My ears are not trash cans. Don't throw anything here.

16. If I die, I will burn my brother.

17. What you play is called diving brother, and what you play is called lurking.

18. The most useless thing in the world is the pay slip. I get angry when I read it. I wipe my ass too carefully.

19. Medicine can't cure false diseases, and wine can't solve real worries.

20. Sorry, the signature is too personalized, so the system can't display it. Please refresh.

2 1. Life is like poop, and we are intoxicated with it like dung beetles.

22. Leave the last sip of water to comrades in need! Give me that bottle of orange juice.

23. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

24. I also want to be an elegant lady. Life forced me to be a bitch.

25. What thick-skinned people often say is that I am good to you.

26. Do you know what a big shot is? Is a little person who has been working hard.

27. For men, milk is the mother. For women, money is lang.

28. Looking at your photo, I want to hang it on the wall in black and white!

29. How much sadness can you have is like a bundle of snowflake beer.

30. Eat up and use up your health. Gambling and whoring will kill you. 3 1. Excuse me: Is it the sun or the moon in the sky? Sorry, I'm not from here!

32. The reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for earth people?

I am trying to make money now, in order to buy a ticket of 20 12.

34. Don't fire me because I have a caller ID.

35. Do you think you are beautiful when people call you Youlemei? Do you know that Youlemei is a disposable appliance?

36. Change your signature every day. It's free anyway.

37. The boss was holding a bowl and was in tears.

38. I chased you with Cupid's arrow and flew in a bulletproof vest.

40. Death is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you dare not die.

4 1. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must be a good monk when he becomes a monk, because his scriptures are so beautiful.

42. A magician's necessary props for the Spring Festival Evening: Dong Qing!

Life is like anxiety. There is no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

44. 10086 is good for me. I sent him a short message and he replied to me three times.

45. The hostess cried. Because Xiao Si ruined its beautiful life.

46. Wages are like a period, once a month and gone in a week or so.

47. Every girl wants to have a myna, but unfortunately not everyone can be a A Qing legend.

48. Man, man, I hope you are a good man.

49. I have a good personality and my parents have no worries.

50. Broken-hearted men jump at sunset.

5 1. When the goods expire and people are tired of seeing things, when can you be awesome in my heart?

52. What you say is like a young lady saying that she is pure.

53. Build roads by yourself, dig other people's roads, and let others build roads with me.

Believe it or not, I can't pick out your wall with one slap.

55. White-collar workers are nothing, and raising pigs is foreign.

56. Computers and I have the same language. Every time I take a gentle look at it, it collapses subconsciously.

57. Why is RMB so expensive? Because grandpa Mao spoke for him.

58. God created virgin men and women.

59. In this era, Wukong pursues leopard fashion and sexy.

60. The cashier said: No change. Give you two plastic bags. 6 1. Others laugh at me for being crazy, and I laugh at others for being cross-eyed.

62. As long as you work hard, you will take a serious shit.

63. Listening to English songs is good. I haven't been bored after listening for half a year. Because I don't understand

64. Others eat longevity noodles on their birthdays, and I eat dried noodles on my birthday.

65. Looking at the lotus lantern, I found that Chang 'e was a house girl.

66. Brushing your teeth is a mixed blessing. Holding a cup in one hand and washing utensils in the other.

67. You run away with her, and I'll watch you.

At first, I was your oxygen, then I was air, and finally, I became carbon dioxide.

69. My father commented on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong was ill.

70. When buying baked sweet potatoes, please ask the boss loudly, what is this stuffing?

7 1. What are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night?

My world. No one is allowed to intervene. There you are. Please sit inside.

73. You have food in your teeth. B: if you want to eat, I'll deduct it for you.

74. I can resist anything but temptation

75. The biggest sorrow in life is that youth is gone, but acne is still there.

76. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu.

77. Although I am not beautiful, I am still playing with you.

78. You'd better not hate me. There are so many people who hate me that you can't rank first.

79. The weather is as cold as a joke and life is like nonsense.

80. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

Is the child born to two people with 8 1.B blood type 2B blood type?

We will know about tomorrow the day after tomorrow.

83. Your left brain is water, and your right brain is powder. If you move, it will paste.

84.2. 14 I must go to the supermarket and crush all the chocolates to see who can deliver them!

85. The wisdom of the school is that it won't let you do whatever you want.

86. Women prefer bad boys to bad boys.

87. One person is happy, two people live, and three people live and die.

88. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind …

89. There are many liars, but there are obviously not enough fools.

90. I have never been cheated, because no one has ever cheated me.

9 1. It is better to send roses than cauliflower on Valentine's Day. You can eat and save money.

92. Fulfilling a promise is as difficult as eating shit, and saying it is as simple as taking a shit.

93. Since Einstein discovered the theory of relativity, there is nothing absolute in the world.

94. Since ancient times, whoever has not died will die sooner or later.

95. I don't want to go to school for 30 days in a month.

96. Valentine's Day is not terrible. The scary thing is that you don't have the same person with you every year.

97. A fool stole a beggar's wallet and was seen by a blind man. The deaf man was startled by a loud noise. The lame man flew, and the madman said, Oh, be reasonable.

98. When you fall, stand up and change your posture before you fall.

99. If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.

100. Calm down because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of death.

10 1. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.

102. Fish can't live without water, and people can't live without boats. If you don't pay, people will get into the water and fish will get on board.

103. Don't think that you are an angel with bird hair.

104. May the Force be with you. Don't be too presumptuous. It's useless.

105. My advantage is that it is useless at critical times.

106. Only by holding your hand can you know that your child is ugly and your face is covered with tears. If you don't go, I'll go.

107. Some people kill pigs, and some people can't help it.

108. The Asian Games is a sport. A group of people who need to exercise sit in the stands and look at those who need to rest.

109. Just because you show half your ass doesn't mean you are sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

1 10. Whose daughter lent it to me, and I will pay it back to you next year.

1 1 1. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

1 12. When I love you, what you say is what you say. What do you say you are when I don't love you?

1 13. Being single is very painful. Being single for a long time is more painful. I saw a sow the other day and thought it was beautiful.

1 14. I'd rather be a little fatter and more delicate. Don't be thin and like.

1 15. The difference between an affair and an affair is whether the former has engaged in the latter.