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Should a grass widow's marriage be divorced? Should a widowed marriage be divorced?
Should a grass widow's marriage be divorced?
1. Should a grass widow's marriage be divorced? Widowed marriage is a new word that became popular last year. Generally, it means that one spouse is indifferent to the family and ignores family obligations.
But more often, it means that the man ignores family obligations, that is, the woman takes care of the children alone and does all the housework alone, while the husband exists at home like a shopkeeper, and the whole marriage is like a widow.
These two days, with the launch of the fourth season of The Story of Chipa, the topic of "Do you want to be a single mother" has attracted attention. At the same time, because of Zhang Quanling's Everyone Can Be a Single Mother and Luo Zhenyu's description of his wife raising children alone, widowed marriage has once again entered people's sight and become the object of people's complaints.
Many people say that since it is a widowed marriage, why bother? Divorce! Do you want this irresponsible man? Be sure to divorce! ! Widowed marriage of men.
However, there are really so many widowed marriages in real life. Do we have to rely on divorce to solve them? Should a 38-year-old woman get a divorce?
Men in China generally don't like doing housework. They always think that women should take care of their children around a three-foot stove. Once men touch these, they look worthless. This is the mindset formed by many people from a noble family, such as my father. Four kinds of marriages divorce early.
As long as I can remember, before I entered junior high school, my father hardly cooked or washed dishes. Even if my mother has a job like his, when she comes home at night, her mother is responsible for boiling water and cooking, and her father is responsible for taking a bath and relaxing. Basically, my mother is too busy to complain that my father can't help at all. Because of this, they often quarrel and have a cold war.
I felt too painful when I saw them like this. Once or twice, I was going to persuade them to divorce.
However, my parents never divorced. Incredibly, I also witnessed my dad's changes and constant compromises. When I was in junior high school, my father began to take the initiative to do housework on my mother's birthday and began to worry about my brother's education.
Now I can eat at least 10 days' cooking at home (my father is an excellent cook). When my mother is busy, I leave all the chores at home to my father. Asexual marriage makes me depressed.
My father has changed so much in the past ten years that my grandmother finds it incredible. Does the husband divorce his wife and widow?
Last summer vacation, I chatted with my mother about her quarrel with my father. I asked her why my father didn't care about anything at home, didn't do housework and didn't help take care of his brother. Why didn't he think about divorcing my dad? Why women can't be widowed.
My mother said, "How come you never thought about divorce? But I know your father is still very responsible for this family. He works hard outside so that we can eat, drink and eat well at home. His failure to do housework is actually related to the education of his grandparents. "Widowed marriage should be divorced.
Yes, my grandpa's normal marriage is that only grandma does housework and grandpa doesn't care about anything. So my dad grew up in such a family and naturally thought that men just didn't do housework. But in the constant quarrel with my mother, he found something was wrong and changed.
Now it seems that the father who was in charge of everything and the mother who carried everything by herself were not what we call widowed marriage? Widowed after marriage.
But they didn't solve it through divorce, they realized the existence of the problem, and then went to run-in, adjust and change. If feelings and responsibilities are still there, then marriage may change. Widowed marriage.
In addition, the concept that "men should not do housework" exists not only in men's minds, but also in some women's minds. Have you ever met a situation where a boy went to the kitchen and wanted to help with the housework, and his mother would drive him away and say, "Go, go, these are not for boys." Like my aunt.
My aunt probably inherited my grandmother's strong personality and was deeply influenced by my grandparents' marriage. She takes her family and children as her own responsibility and does everything herself. Can she not give my uncle any chance to interfere in the housework? Over time, my uncle who wanted to help had to stand aside.
Sometimes it is too tiring to do housework, and my aunt will complain that my uncle doesn't care about anything. But at this point, my uncle has become accustomed to this kind of family life. After giving birth, it becomes a asexual marriage.
Whose responsibility is this widowed marriage? Did my uncle deliberately ignore it?
In this case, do you want a divorce? Can an aunt with the idea that "men should not do housework" marry another person and ensure that there will be no more widowed marriages? I'm afraid it's difficult.
However, my aunt and uncle have changed a little in recent years. Because menstruation began to change his mind, knew how to show weakness to his uncle, and constantly sent a signal that "it must be you" to his uncle, and over time, his uncle began to help with housework.
In another case, the woman doesn't trust her husband to take care of the children, thinking that he can't take care of the children, so she won't let her husband participate in raising the children. After a long time, the husband simply ignores everything, including housework. At this time, there was a widowed marriage, such as my cousin.
My cousin had their first child three years ago. He was very happy. Thinking about changing the baby's diaper and making milk powder. But he did it several times and couldn't do it well. Aunt and sister-in-law will not let him intervene in the baby's various things.
Over time, my cousin lost his enthusiasm for taking care of the children. At this time, my sister-in-law felt wronged again. It is clear that the child belongs to two people and the home belongs to two people. Why does she feel that she is the only one who is busy? After getting married, I feel like a widow.
Fortunately, my sister-in-law gave birth to a second child this year. This time, she didn't stop her cousin from doing anything for the baby. She doesn't want to stop her cousin from doing anything.
I used to think that it was meaningless to be widowed and married, so it was better to divorce. I think since the man is irresponsible and ignores family obligations, it is love rat, and there is no need to stay. How to live a good widowed marriage?
But after seeing the widowed marriage around me, I found that the widowed marriage is not necessarily the problem of the man, but often both sides are at fault.
Widowed marriages should be divorced. Similarly, there are not so many widowed marriages that are serious enough to be resolved through divorce. Such as my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. They turned their marriage into a widowed marriage for various reasons, but they saved the situation through various efforts.
Of course, if it is really the kind of widowed marriage in which one party is completely irresponsible, then you can consider divorce.
But if it is one of the above, then I don't think divorce is the solution.
Perhaps this marital imbalance is only temporary and can be restored to normal through proper adjustment.
The above is about whether a widowed marriage should be divorced or not, and it is about sharing whether a widowed marriage should be divorced or not. Should I get a divorce after watching the grass widow's marriage? I hope this will help everyone!
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