Guo Degang's lines from "My Life"

"My Life"

Performers: Guo Degang, Yu Qian

Lines

Guo: Thank you, Teacher Yu, for coming even though you are sick. Performance. Are you in good health during this time?

Yu: Not feeling well

Guo: Especially this time, the illness is very serious and your appearance is disfigured

Yu : How come the appearance is lost?

Guo: Hemorrhoids

Yu: Is hemorrhoids disfigured?

Guo: Incomplete

Yu: Never heard of it

Guo: Can’t tell at first glance

Yu: Look carefully No

Guo: Okay, I hope you are not sick or in trouble, I hope you are smooth sailing, I hope you have everything goes well, I hope you are not like me

Yu: What's wrong with you

Guo: It’s so difficult for me

Yu: You?

Guo: There are no outsiders here. Let me tell you about the suffering in my heart

Yu: Can you tell me about your suffering?

Guo: It’s a long story (get on the table)

Yu: Please wait for a while, how about you go down first and talk about it

Guo: I’m used to getting on the kang at home

Yu: This person can’t speak while standing

Guo: It’s hard to hit a child. I’ve lived an unfair life. It’s not easy.

Yu: Why is this so? How difficult?

Guo: No one would believe it if I told you.

Yu: Please tell me

Guo: Do ??you know? The ring fell off when I coughed, and I was stricken by needles when I sneezed.

Yu: None of these are close to each other

Guo: Pulling a cart across the ridge, one step at a time, eating sugar cakes Burning the back of the head

Yu: How did you burn it?

Guo: I brought the sugar cake, eat it, tear it apart, and the sugar comes down, lick it, clatter---

Yu: Hey, if you don’t mess with things, why are you licking them?

Guo: In fact, I have determined to serve the motherland since I was a child and be a person who is beneficial to the people

Yu: It’s good to have this ideal

Guo: Since I was a child, I wanted to be an athlete and bring glory to the country

Yu: This is fine

Guo: One day I will stand on the podium, and when the national anthem plays, I will burst into tears

Yu: How glorious

Guo: My wish, I train myself, I To become a good swimmer, I practice every day and am self-taught.

Yu: Oh, I practice by myself

Guo: No, I can do all kinds of postures. I practice them just right. Obstructed by the gardening department

Yu: Are the swimming and gardening departments next to each other?

Guo: I practiced with him on the grass outside the door

Yu: They were scratching me

Guo: They stopped me and I said I deserved to die (pronounced timidly) )

Yu: He’s still dead

Guo: If you don’t let the practice pull you, will you be able to throw the shot put? How can you not make a contribution to the country? Boring----it’s quite far. The coach said, it doesn’t count if people go out.

Yu: The ball is left there

Guo: This is a very magical thing

Yu: What a miracle

Guo: It didn’t move me and I went out. I said that I deserved to die. I went to do other things, roller shoes, I’m proud of them

Yu: That’s called a roller

Guo: Wearing roller shoes, swishing and sliding, how fun it is

Yu: That’s okay too

Guo: One day, in the World Series, I will be the first in roller shoes. It doesn’t work in the house

Yu: Xiao

Guo: The roller skating rink doesn’t work either. Xiao, go to the outer ring road, put on your shoes, find a big truck, grab the back, it Drive and let me follow you.

Yu: This is not a skateboard for you

Guo: It’s exciting and very fast. I just forgot to ask. This car is going to Inner Mongolia.

Yu: Okay

Guo: Good guy, as soon as it came out of the outer ring road, it started to lift up. The windlass shoes were on fire, and the people came out and shouted: Look at Nezha

Yu: I’m using your loafers as hot wheels

Guo: It’s a pity that I didn’t make it to Inner Mongolia and I fell behind in Chengde<

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Yu: I figured it out

Guo: My shoes were worn out. I was afraid of the pain, so I didn’t follow.

Yu: Yes, I’ll wear them again. My feet are grinding

Guo: None of my wishes have come true, and school is not going well

Yu: What’s wrong with school

Guo: Forget it, I’m 10 in elementary school Years, 12 years of middle school, these years----

Yu: Wait a minute, 10 years of elementary school and 12 years of middle school. How did you study this book?

Guo: They can’t bear to part with it. Let me graduate

Yu: Is that reluctance?

Guo: I am rated as the most familiar face in the whole school. New teachers always ask me about the inside story of the school when they come.

Yu: You are familiar with me, you tell them

Guo: I don’t like class either, and I don’t understand what they say.

Yu: Oh, I don’t understand either.

Guo: He doesn’t like to look at me either. If you don’t like to look at him, you deserve it. Tell your story, go to sleep in my dormitory

Yu: Just go to sleep

Guo: I play mine, I play the harmonica by myself, I Reading

Yu: This is also a hobby

Guo: What are my two major hobbies? Playing the harmonica and finding a teacher to teach it, I love learning it

Yu: Harmonica

Guo: How to play? I said you should practice the harmonica first, ahaaha, practice like this, practice for three months, I am not interested in the harmonica, but very interested in the bones

Yu : You’ve changed your habit.

Guo: My classmates always ask me to smell their keys when they throw them away

Yu: I’ll definitely find them

Guo: I’m fine reading a book, martial arts Novel

Yu: Just read this Xianshu

Guo: I just like this, the flash of swords and the shadow of swords, reading aloud

Yu: Still reading

Guo : There is no one in the dormitory, I am alone.

His blood is cold, his heart is cold,

Yu: They all say so

Guo: His sword is cold, his people are cold, this I'm freezing. What's the use of this?

Yu: What kind of book

Guo: What's the use of writing this?

Yu: Don't read it

Guo: It’s okay to stay here all day long. Just now, my wife will introduce me to a girlfriend

Yu: Oh, let’s have a date

Guo: She’s beautiful. It looks like a car accident scene, with eyes like this. (Squint)

On another sunny afternoon, my girlfriend Miss Prejudice and I were sitting in Brazzaville, Congo 31 An ice cream shop with different flavors,

Yu: How did you find it?

Guo: I wanted the snowballs. I watched her eat up what I had in front of me, spoonful by spoonful

Yu: She couldn’t see what was in front of her

Guo: I was so angry that I glared at her viciously, but she didn’t take it to heart

Yu: Maybe not See you

Guo: I think of my parents far away in the south. I haven’t been back home for so many years since I went to school. Have my parents in my hometown been in good health? When can I still perform filial piety? I received the call the other day. A letter from my father. Dear child, you have been away from home for a long time and have not come back.

It was only after the reminder from the neighbors that we remembered that we have a child like you. We miss you very much, we My family is moving, I won’t tell you where to move, you can guess.

Yu: Is this a guess?

Guo: When I left, I specially took down the house number of our house

Yu: I can’t find a home at all this time

Guo: The weather is very cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I took off the buttons. Put it in your coat pocket.

Yu: This old man is so naive

Guo: I still want to send you some money, but the envelope has been sealed

Yu: Then don’t bother.

Guo: Where can I find them? I miss them very much. Prejudice has an idea to take me south with them

Yu: Going south?

Guo: I went to look for them at home. When I arrived at the Beijing Railway Station, I had no tickets.

Thanks to my girlfriend, I found the police and asked: Do you know where the ticket seller is?

Yu: Ticket seller?

Guo: It makes the police happy: I’m looking for him too

Yu: Yes, isn’t it? These are the two people looking for him

Guo: Later, I don’t know where she got two tickets

Yu: I really bought them

Guo: We boarded the train heading west

Yu: Off to the west

Guo: After walking on the train for three days and three nights, I finally got off the train at a place I didn’t recognize. She took me deep into the forest.

Yu: We entered the forest

Guo: I was so tired that I lay there and fell asleep. I don’t know how long it took.

She pushed me: Hey. I said: What are you doing? There is good news and bad news

Yu: Two news

Guo: Which one do you listen to? What is the bad news?

Yu: Listen to the bad ones first

Guo: We are lost. I don’t know this place. Besides, I guess we will have to live on cow dung from now on

Yu: Cow dung

Guo: What’s the good news?

Yu: Listen again, it’s good

Guo: Cow dung is good

Yu: Hey, who cares

Guo: (Punching and kicking)

Yu: Come on, save some energy

Guo: After beating her, I walked back by myself. After more than half a year, I finally returned. My dormitory

Yu: Okay, half a year left

Guo: Hey, what’s the point of living? Why go there?

Yu: I can’t think about it

Guo: Die, commit suicide, that’s a way

Yu: Touch the switch, that’s a good way, it’s faster

Guo: To be on the safe side, take Try the electric pen

Yu: I understand everything

Guo: Goodbye, I’m dead. Teng--the power is out

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Yu: Well, what can I do?

Guo: It’s too outrageous, I can’t help but die. Jump off the building

Yu: Falling off the building

p>

Guo: Hey, jump to your death from a building. How about Coke?

Yu: Is there any Coke?

Guo: I have studied it. The effect of jumping off a building from the 20th floor is different from that from the 2nd floor. .

Yu: What’s the difference?

Guo: Look, if you jump from the 2nd floor, it’ll be bang-ah-. If you jump from the 20th floor, yes--------- Bang.

Yu: That’s the difference, it’s not that great

Guo: High technology. I’m on the 30th floor, bang-----

Yu: Why is this sound

Guo: There is an iron fence installed

Yu: Didn’t jump out

Guo: It bounced back for me. Eat. Let’s take the rat medicine

Yu: Take the poison

Guo: Search through the box and find a big bag of rat medicine

Yu: Take it

Guo : I'm waiting to die after eating. After waiting for a long time, why are I so hungry? When I got up, I looked at this bag, yeast tablets

Yu: I saw it clearly

Guo: I haven't eaten in several days What’s there to digest? Immortal

Yu: Oh, immortal again

Guo: I haven’t had time to enjoy the great life yet. Live well. I have to do something. Ah, let me print counterfeit money and do business.

Yu: Is this business?

Guo: I have a friend who died who told me not to print big bills. Big tickets are illegal

Yu: Small tickets are also illegal

Guo: You print for one yuan a piece. I said I don’t understand this. Where can I buy paper, ink, and how to print? .

He said don’t worry about it. Give me the money and I will print it for you. It will look like the real thing and cost about 40 yuan a piece

Yu: one yuan A piece of money

Guo: Later I wondered if he was lying to me

Yu: Maybe he was lying to you

Guo: This is not enough.

Yu: Isn’t it?

Guo: You want to exchange 5 yuan for one piece. This is excusable, isn’t it?

Yu: Okay Well, he is worthy of being your father’s son

Guo: This is not the way, do something else, I will rob the bank

Yu: This is not quick

Guo: Money is all in the bank. Let me start writing my work diary. I will think of a way and I have all the precautions.

I must succeed in the robbery. There are a few precautions

Yu: There are still things to pay attention to

Guo: We can’t take it lightly, we have experience in this area

Yu: There is still experience

Guo : We have a senior who robbed a bank. Because his aim was inaccurate and he was strong, he took a kitchen knife and ran to the armed police dormitory.

Yu: I didn’t find out clearly

Guo: He failed

Yu: Nonsense, didn’t he fail?

Guo: We also have a senior who was very successful and robbed 1.83 million in cash

Yu: That's a lot

Guo: I drove to Quanyechang

Yu: Why did I go there

Guo: It was exactly 5:30 in the afternoon when the police came. Why is he stuck there?

Yu: Can't run away?

Guo: We also have a senior who put a sack over his head, how thoughtful he is.

Yu: Yes

Guo: I forgot to take out the eyes of the sack

Yu: He can’t see it either

Guo: It clicks when crossing the road Dead

Yu: It’s too miserable

Guo: How miserable, we still have a senior

Yu: Why do you have so many seniors

Guo: Anyway, there is a senior who thinks everything is good with a gun. Once he goes in, he robs and takes out the money.

More than 40 people behind him took out all their guns. The police, Pay wages.

Yu: Well, he only went there when everyone was together, right?

Guo: I must succeed, I will grab it well,

Yu: Let’s learn

Guo: I must fight, I exercise, run, in the morning

I went out at four o'clock

Yu: Keyi

Guo: If a good guy doesn't catch you and chases you, you can outrun him

Yu: Yes

Guo: Get up at four o'clock in the morning and go downstairs to run. As soon as I ran, there was a dog walker in our community. The puppy is very cute. It's called a Tibetan Mastiff.

Yu: Is that a puppy? , that big dog

Guo: I don’t think it’s such a big dog

Yu: Your gestures are quite right

Guo: Hey, that’s lively and cute, I’ll run It also ran after me, which frightened me. It was so fast that it kept running north and went down.

Yu: Running north

Guo: Dumped it. I felt very at ease. Success

Yu: Did you get rid of it?

Guo: I got rid of all the Tibetan Mastiffs. When I came back from Zhangjiakou by car after dinner, I thought -

Yu: Please wait a moment, you have already gone to Zhangjiakou

Guo: Think about it, can those legs be slow?

Yu: What did I say about this dog? Left behind

Guo: I think I need a helper

Yu: I have an assistant

Guo: I need someone to help me, I have a friend , three generations of thieves in the family

Yu: Den of Thieves

Guo: He is in the south, I wrote a letter, help me, rob the bank. He was very happy, I took the train and headed north.

On the train, I was very diligent and used napkins to write the robbery plan

Yu: I wrote the robbery plan on the train

Guo: I sat there writing, with an old Red Army soldier sitting next to me, and the train went directly to the police station

Yu: Oh, the tracks are now laid

Guo: I have decided, I will do it alone. There is a bank downstairs, so I'll take the walk first. I'll go there at noon, what are I afraid of? When I get there, bang, this is it

Yu: What's going on

Guo: The glass is too bright

Yu: You can see the door clearly

Guo: My nose is crooked, go see a doctor nearby. This unfortunate hospital next to it used to be a bathhouse. , except for pedicures.

Yu: I can’t see it yet

Guo: After a long time, I think robbing a bank is a mistake and I should rob a cash transport truck

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Yu: Oh, that car

Guo: There is money there

Yu: That’s right

Guo: I’m practicing now

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Yu: How do you practice this

Guo: I will take the bicycle first to say goodbye to the Grand Duke***

Yu: You are risking your life

Guo: I practice. I get up early and work hard every day. I was practicing on the street that day. The cash transport truck came and hit a group of gangsters. They took guns and started fighting.

Many people died, the car overturned, and a big iron box fell next to me. When it was thrown away, I saw that it was all money

Yu: Money

Guo: Hundreds of thousands. , God will not starve to death. I, Guo Degang, have become rich, and all the money is mine. I am unlucky carrying the box.

Yu: What kind of bad luck is this?

Guo: Blame me

Yu: Why

Guo: I took the box to the bank to deposit money

Yu: Are you short-sighted

Extended information:

Guo Degang, performer of the cross talk "My Life", male, born on January 18, 1973 in Tianjin, is a cross talk actor, film and TV actor, and TV talk show host He joined the art world in 1979. He first learned storytelling from Gao Qinghai, a senior figure in storytelling, then learned cross talk from Chang Baofeng, a famous cross talk master, and Hou Yaowen, a cross talk master. During this period, he also learned Peking Opera, Ping Opera, Hebei Bangzi and other operas, and traveled around the theater for many years.

In 1995, Beijing Deyun Society was founded. Since 2005, the sudden rise of Guo Degang and his Deyun Society has brought the public to pay attention to the art category of crosstalk again, realizing the second revival of crosstalk. In 2006, the Deyun Society Crosstalk Special was held at the People's Liberation Army Opera House. In the same year, the Deyun Society Provincial Crosstalk special was held at the Tianjin People's Stadium, setting a record of 25 consecutive returns.

Baidu Encyclopedia-My Life

Baidu Encyclopedia-Guo Degang