Shi Tiesheng: "Forget" and "Don't forget"

When the editor of a disabled publication asked me for a manuscript, I was busy with other things and wanted to refuse. The editor was disappointed: "Don't forget that you are disabled, too." This is not very polite, but I think it is true. Although this doesn't mean that I shouldn't be busy with other things, I really shouldn't forget that I am disabled.

two

I once wrote such a thing in a novel:

A girl fell in love with a lame young man. The girl accidentally mentioned a pigeon named "Dianzi", saying that the name made people think it was lame, and the young man was in a bad mood. The girl found out and apologized in horror: "I forgot, can you forgive me?" Really, I forgot. "So the long-awaited happiness of the young man was aroused in his heart. Not because of her apology, but because she forgot that he was disabled.

Shi Tiesheng and his wife Chen Ximi.

three

Going to the concert hall to listen to music, or going to the gym to watch the ball game, must be very pleasant, but it is a good dream for the disabled. There are high steps in front of the concert hall and gymnasium, and there are no ramps. The designer of the gymnasium forgot us once, and then the designer of the concert hall forgot us again. Today, so many new large-scale public places and residential buildings have mostly forgotten us. In this way, we will never forget ourselves. Occasionally, I think of the steps as steep as Mount Everest, so we appeal and appeal: architects should not forget us, we are disabled and can't climb Mount Everest and the steps.

four

Once, my novel was praised. When the predecessors praised the novel, they specifically mentioned that its author was a disabled person, so the applause of the audience was extraordinary. At that time, I was grateful for your concern and encouragement, but there was a dark cloud hanging over me: which novel is really worth recommending? Or is there a reason to praise just because it was written by a disabled person? At least these two legs can't move any more, which accounts for a certain proportion of the recognition reasons, right? At this moment, there is only one sentence in my mind: forget my legs and forget that I am disabled. My novel was criticized again. To be honest, I think this is unreasonable. Just when I was filled with indignation, a friend came to defend me. I am naturally happy. Unexpectedly, this friend said, "I told them about you. Don't worry, it's okay. " What happened? Leg, disability. What else can happen? Why is it okay again? By the way, I still regard that friend as a friend, but he was undoubtedly confused at that moment. If I fall into the fog, my heart is rolling back and forth: forget this leg and forget that I am disabled, okay?

five

There is a man named Wang Suling. She taught herself a foreign language, and her level is quite high. Her legs are disabled, severely disabled. Once she can't find a job, she takes pleasure in teaching children to learn foreign languages. It turns out that her teaching level is also quite high. She wants to be a teacher very much, but the school doesn't want her because the school can't forget that she is a disabled person. After all kinds of appeals and efforts, she finally became a teacher. But for a long time, she stood on crutches and gave lectures with difficulty. Forty-five minutes and forty-five minutes She is really tired. Why doesn't she sit down and talk? Because the school says that teachers must stand and give lectures, otherwise they should not be teachers. At this time, the school obviously forgot that she was a disabled person.

Four New Versions of Shi Tiesheng's Prose

Qu lai Ji, Ji, you Ji, Duan

six

There is a man named Gu 'agen, who is the head of a company and a disabled person. I have seen him limping around in the cold winter wind for company affairs, pedaling his bicycle like flying. The sweat on his face and the smile on his face were normal enough to make people believe that he must have forgotten that he was a disabled person. Recently, he is going to open a "home appliance store for the disabled". He is also going to buy two three-wheeled motorcycles to send home to disabled customers who can't go out and lift heavy objects. He said that the purpose of the store is: "Let millions of disabled people get the same shopping opportunities as healthy people, let millions of disabled people buy the special supplies they need, let millions of disabled people get the warmth they deserve as a member of a big family, and let millions of disabled families relieve their worries." He said that he and his company had some money in recent years, and they always wanted to realize this wish at the beginning of making money. He said that he couldn't forget the disabled. He was a disabled person and the disabled people had a hard life.

seven

There are also disabled people who are afraid that others will notice their disabilities, even to the point where they are unwilling to go to the streets and work away from home; It's easy to change from fear to anger. When people say the words "paralysis", "lameness" and "blindness" without malice, he is also furious and even means to fight with others. From anger to anger, it has intensified over the years. I feel that heaven and earth are so unfair, and I am sorry for him. Everything is a bad breed without conscience. You may think that he must want others to forget his disability. But sometimes things are beyond your expectation: once he has made some achievements, he is willing to be noticed by others, and even exaggerates his disability on his own initiative, as if it has become capital, and the more the better.

I heard that there are still people who dare to run a red light in the street because they think they are disabled. It seems glorious to say that the police are helpless.

Shi Tiesheng took a group photo with fellow villagers in northern Shaanxi.

eight

Finally, let's watch a little play.

Characters: Male A, Male B.

Time: Any day in the 1980s.

Location: Anyway, it is not uninhabited or sparsely populated.

They had talked for a long time when the curtain rose.

Man A: "Oh, yes, I remember one thing."

Man B: "What?"

Man A: "Do you know any unmarried older men?"

Man b: "why?"

Man A: "There are several people who let me keep an eye on them. There are many older unmarried women now. "

Male B thought for a moment and said, "No, that's all."

Both of them sighed, and then continued to chat.

The curtain fell.

You must find the play boring. Now let me introduce these two people in detail: male A, 40 years old, married, and male B are old acquaintances; Male B, 33 years old, unmarried, disabled but definitely not mentally retarded. In other words, Male B is a disabled unmarried young man. The play is not so boring, but there is something worth thinking about: male A forgets male B, and male B also forgets male B. However, does male A really forget male B? Obviously not, that's why he rejects male B. Does male B really forget himself? This is the most important question.

/kloc-in the 1980s, Shi Tiesheng was at home.

nine

To sum up the eight sections, it seems that it is better to "forget" or "don't forget". This question can't be answered by either-or logic. I think readers will agree with this conclusion: forget when you should forget, and don't forget when you shouldn't. So, when should I forget and when should I not forget? This is difficult to answer specifically. The complexity of the world can not be summarized as described in the above eight sections, but I think that as long as humanitarianism is carried forward and becomes a common practice, people will naturally forget when they should forget, rather than when they should not forget.

For example, in the steps mentioned in the third section, if all designers can think that disabled people should also participate in social life, have self-reliance pride, equality equals human pride, and have fun listening to music and watching games and visiting shops or parks, then they will definitely think of building a ramp, and they will find that this is no more troublesome than putting the cable of the sightseeing cable car on Mount Tai.

For example, if the school mentioned in section 5 knows that a person wants to eat, it should also realize the value of people from work; If he knew that Rainbow Su Ling could go to the podium by self-study, what a good education it would be for children; If she knew what wonderful seeds would be planted in the children's hearts if a chair was prepared for her, then I believe the school will rush to invite her to teach and take breaking that cruel rule as an honor.

ten

So, does humanitarianism only mean saving lives, which only means that others will understand and help us disabled people? Obviously not. The best thing about humanism is that all people, regardless of their physical and social functions, are equal in spirit (or soul), so when they are born in the world, their rights and obligations are equal. Of course, not all people who have the right to vote can be presidents, but they have fulfilled their obligations, and their social or economic benefits cannot be as great as usual-this is another problem. )

Now let's see what our problems are.

For example, the kind of person mentioned in section 7, we should say: sad husband! He doesn't know that disability itself has never been a shame, and it can never be a glory. If we exchange our unfortunate disability for some privilege, and if we always rely on our parents' love like a child who will never grow up, then when people bring privilege, ridicule, accommodation and contempt, we have no reason to oppose this collocation, because we first put ourselves in a lower position than ordinary people and put ourselves in the abyss.

For example, is Shi Tiesheng mentioned in the fourth season too sensitive? Is it against the truth that people mention that he is disabled? Isn't it human nature for everyone to give him more encouraging applause? If there is such a cloud, it is also the product of his sensitivity. Imagine, if this sensitivity increases, who can speak to him without fear and be prepared? How can there be equality at this speed? "alas! Those who destroy the six countries are also six countries, not Qin. It is Qin, Qin is also, not the world. " Sometimes, it is ourselves, not others, that put us in an unequal position. So now this Shi Tiesheng thinks that Gu Agen mentioned in Section 6 knows better when to forget and when not to forget.

Let's talk about that little play again. Male A forgot male B, and we only thought of the word "regret". Male b also forgot male b, so we thought of ah q, afraid that he would not draw a circle when betting. But I believe that male B didn't really forget himself, but he was afraid to do it because of his inner yearning, so he gradually forced himself to be numb. So I think, "forgetting me" is not necessarily a good thing, but sometimes it is fatigue and despair of life. The misfortune of an indisputable person is both sympathetic and irritating. This little play is a symbol: humanitarianism not only means that we should have the rights of others, but also means that we must fight for it with confidence. If we are timid first, there is little chance of pie falling from the sky.

In short, since we are asking for equality and we don't want to be ghosts and gods, the matter is actually very simple: let our bodies continue to be disabled, but let our spirits get along with the world like healthy people.

1987

This article is selected from Thought, People's Literature Publishing House.

Random thoughts is the third volume of Shi Tiesheng's prose, which contains 13 random thoughts about illness, life and death, afterlife, money, giving up and persistence, and the basis of optimism. Although the body is confined to a wheelchair, the mind can be inferred. In the world, the author has his own thoughts and ideas.