Highlighted funny stories

Highlighted funny stories

1. Female donor, I am a poor monk whose cultivation is still shallow, and I can’t heal your wounds even though I am separated from you. I am offended.

2. Mistresses and bitches are actually the same, one is wholesale and the other is retail.

3. Who told me that Nokia can crack walnuts? Now the screen is black.

4. If God gives me another chance to meet you, I will definitely turn around and leave!

5. You will naturally stay at home for a long time, and you will naturally become cute when you stay at home for a long time.

6. No matter how beautiful the mistress is, the one who is considered charming by the government will be the original wife after all

7. If there is a next life, I must be your heart because I don’t beat, you Just die.

8. Men are not bad, women do not love them, and men are not lustful. They are just for decoration.

9. Asking what a clear sky is, I just ask someone to put on a pair of cotton pants

10. When Iphone5 comes out, I won’t sell my kidney, I will donate sperm.

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11. The pain of broken love has been slashed on our faces again and again

12. If I were here, I would want to get back the love I had before, but it would just happen again

< p> 13. The brotherhood of love, the love that is profound and simple

14. I am holding on to falling in love with you every day.

15. There is a kind of domineering called exposure, which is reflected in me called side leakage

16. I like to record the teacher’s lecture voice, and I will fall asleep immediately after listening to it at night

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17. If you don’t even know how to cheat, how can the teacher trust you to let you go to social practice?

18. The business girl does not know the hatred of losing her country and does her homework all day long.

19. Gold always shines, but glass like you can only reflect light!

20. The so-called low-key is just a low-profile and high-profile.

21. Promise to Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of the motherland again, I will pinch the flowers.

22. A good horse will not eat grass unless it is a rotten fairy grass

23. After winter, the world is divided into two parts, the part under the quilt and the part outside the quilt. Part

24. The weather is as cold as a joke, and the days are like nonsense.

25. The so-called sleepers can be summarized in one word: spring sleepiness, summer fatigue, autumn nap, and hibernation.

26. The ringtone for the end of get out of class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the ringtone for class is more disturbing than anxiety

27. When I was in school, I always wanted to play on the computer, but during the holidays I could only stare at the computer in a daze.

28. If the teacher hadn’t told you not to litter, I would have thrown you out a long time ago

29. There are always a few people. As soon as the teacher calls them up to answer questions, the whole class Just laugh.

30. It’s not that I don’t want to lose weight, I’m just afraid of regaining it.

31. Your complex facial features cannot hide your simple IQ.

32. Confucius said: If you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon. Lao Tzu said: Confucius is right.

33. Eat steamed buns. Nibble on pickles. Use the remaining money to fall in love.

34. There are too many germs in the outside world, and I am afraid that I will be infected as soon as I go out.

35. The teacher always said that I smell bad when I curse. I sit next to the trash can. How can I not have a bad mouth?

36. It is a virtue for a woman to have no talent. I must be too wicked.

37. Don’t think that just because you drive a tractor, you can drive a Mercedes-Benz on the street.

38. The teacher asked, why is A instead of C for the answer to this question? The student replied, because the person who asked the question was mentally retarded.

39. In order to prevent us from falling in love prematurely, the teacher invented something called teacher-student love

40. The biggest problem in the exam is 0. If I don’t have you, there will be no 0

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41. During class, someone passed a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to slap him. What is written is: Are you there?

42. "Hello, teacher" in class and "Goodbye, teacher" after class. I say, teacher, do you feel annoyed? I am tired of what I say every day. 43. Every time I take the test paper When I get home, the first thing I do is put on my cotton pants and face the storm.

44. "You pay 60 cents and I pay 60 cents" "Why" "Let's pay two for one dollar"

45. My love for you will last until the finale of Xinwen Network that day.

46. What’s wrong with my flat chest? Don’t you know that I am the reason why our school is stable?

47. Reading in normal times is a desire for knowledge, while reading before an exam is a desire to survive.

48. Damn it, why can’t homework be “copied” and “pasted” like a computer?

49. You think you will be in my heart for a long time. Let me tell you, you think too much.

50. Life is like a box of chocolates. I never know how much weight I can gain if I eat one more pill

51. When I wake up from my spring sleep, I come looking for you yawning. I can't sleep at night and can't wake up during the day.