It's not easy to live (micro-novel)

1

At night, I'm so worried for a long time. Moonlight shines into the bedroom like gauze, and occasionally there is the sound of toilet sewer drainage.

Xiaolan stayed up all night. Over and over again, she recalled the road she had traveled, the things she had experienced, the sad scenes and the waves of emotions. She thinks it is not easy to live, but what can she do? There is only a strong face in life, only humiliation.

After experiencing the heartbreak of life, time will make these pains fade away and become as if they happened to others, which I have never experienced or felt before.

Only in sleepless nights will these past experiences sneak into your mind like ghosts, tormenting your nerves and making you feel palpitation, helplessness and regret again and again.

There is no turning back in life. Don't think about those annoying past, you will be reborn every morning. If you can't forget the past, you can't face tomorrow with confidence.

During the day, the conversation between President Jia and himself seems to be still in my ear. In the face of criticism from the national media, Xiaolan, as a teacher, seems to have been thrown out of the world. She feels lonely, incomprehensible and full of doubts about life.

If you don't start work and control your emotions, you may not have the anxiety and anxiety at this time, and there will be no sleepless night tonight.

When the hour hand points to four o'clock, the cleaner who got up early to clean up has already started his day's work. After the tricycle stepped on the accelerator, the harsh engine "dadada" sound came from the street, from far and near, from near to far. The orange light shines on the black road surface, which makes the streets in the morning seem extremely deserted and lonely.

A new day is about to begin again. Xiaolan's thoughts were still yesterday. I still remember the scene that happened in class yesterday.

2

The third and fourth classes in the morning are Xiaolan's English class. She used one or two classes to read the prepared lesson plans carefully and prepare for class.

The office of Grade 8 English Group is very quiet, and teachers are busy preparing lessons and correcting students' homework. Only during the break, teachers tease each other, talk about their feelings just after class, talk about the students' listening status, and envy each other who bought new clothes and whose lover brought back new things on business trip to express their love.

For divorced Xiaolan, she doesn't want to join in the fun. Besides, she has no reason to show off to others. She just listened to the teacher's comments and quietly turned over the textbooks.

For those female teachers who come to show off, she will also politely smile and say "good-looking, good-looking!" "In this case, it is entertaining, praising the love of other people's husbands and making each other happy.

When talking about the pride of other female teachers and Kan Kan, Xiaolan felt harsh and embarrassed, which only made her feel inner pain. She knew that she was not jealous, but a little lost and out of balance.

The preview bell called Xiaolan to the door of the classroom. As usual, she pulled herself together, walked into the classroom and started the class.

She carefully checked the completion of each student's homework yesterday, and there were still several difficult students in the class who didn't start.

The mid-term exam is coming soon, but these students are still the same, and they haven't written a word, which inevitably makes Xiaolan emotional. He criticized these students.

But these students simply ignored her criticism and felt no shame at all. Instead, they looked at Xiaolan cheekily.

Xiaolan suddenly became angry.

The misfortune of marriage and family made Xiaolan feel the despair of life. Only by teaching seriously and making students get good grades can she be comforted and feel her own value and the meaning of living.

She has been a workaholic all these years. She devoted herself to her work, carefully prepared every class and carefully corrected the students' homework.

After several years of hard work, she has been recognized by school leaders and county education bureaus and has been rated as a county-level teaching model for many times. I have won many honors, but my professional title has not changed or improved in recent years.

Xiaolan is also making all kinds of preparations for the professional title evaluation in the coming year, but this year, the scores of students in these two classes are seriously divided. Although she takes time out of class to tutor students with poor foundation, the effect is still not obvious. After all, students owe too much, and it is difficult to make achievements for a while.

Nevertheless, she persisted and worked hard and never gave up these students.

three

Among the criticized students is Liu Qiang whose parents have been divorced for many years. He lives with his father Liu Qingquan, while Liu Qingquan works outside all the year round, and his grandmother takes care of his daily life on weekdays. Xiaolan also made great efforts and spent a lot of time for Liu Qiang's study. However, Liu Qiang's learning momentum is still not great. This makes Xiaolan very anxious.

"As a boy, you know your family very well. What will you do in the future if you don't study hard? Have you thought about it? " Xiaolan has good intentions.

"Who told you to be in charge? You don't have to worry about the future. Things will eventually be solved!" Liu Qiang said angrily to Miss Xiaolan.

Xiaolan's head buzzed and her blood pressure rose rapidly. In recent months, her efforts for Liu Qiang have earned her rude remarks.

Xiaolan was furious. She looked around, quickly picked up the broom in the corner and slammed Liu Qiang's back. ...

Xiaolan didn't mean to punish the students, but she was angry at that time and made a rash move.

This scene was filmed by a good student and made public in Tik Tok.

In the face of overwhelming criticism from major media all over the country, Xiaolan's heart almost collapsed. The leaders of the school and county education bureau asked her to eliminate the influence, publicly apologize to the students who were beaten, and ask the parents of these students to forgive.

Although Miss Xiaolan tried her best to express her apologies, she was punished by the Education Bureau. After all, Miss Xiaolan has caused a great negative impact on the county.

four

Teacher Xiaolan took part in the work in the last century. After graduating from junior college, she was assigned to a junior high school in the countryside to teach English.

After work, many colleagues introduced her to her, and many boys pursued Xiaolan. Among many suitors, a boy named Sun Wei made a passionate pursuit of Xiaolan.

Sun Wei drives a Santana every time he comes to Xiaolan's school. People who can drive in the last century are enviable. Sun Wei always carries bags of snacks, which makes other female teachers often boast of Sun Wei's generosity and enthusiasm.

Sun Wei, who drives a car for a government department, is a temporary worker. His monthly salary is not high, but he is generous. This makes it difficult for Xiaolan to accept Sun Wei.

Sun Wei's parents both work in the county finance bureau. His father Sun Jianguo is the deputy director and his mother Huang Xiuying is the director. Sun Wei's family conditions in the county are still very good. Sun Jianguo bought a wedding room for Sun Wei, which is being renovated.

Xiaolan's parents are authentic farmers. She is the eldest daughter of the family, and there is a younger brother Xiaogang who goes to high school behind her. The family is also counting on Xiaolan's salary for Xiaogang to go to school.

After careful consideration, Xiaolan married Sun Wei.

In those newly married years, Sun Wei was considerate to Xiaolan. She takes the bus early and picks it up late every day, which makes many colleagues envy Xiaolan's happiness.

A few years later, when her son Sun Jia was born, Sun Wei lost interest in Xiaolan and slowly found a woman outside.

For the sake of her son Sun Jia, Xiaolan put up with Sun Wei who came home in the middle of the night every day and smelled like other women, and forgave Sun Wei's infidelity.

When her son Sun Jia was in kindergarten, Sun Wei took drugs, which was a blow to Xiaolan. Xiaolan is determined not to wronged herself. She is determined to divorce Sun Wei.

Sun Wei's parents are firmly opposed to Xiaolan's divorce from Sun Wei. In order to prevent Xiaolan from divorcing Sun Wei, Sun Wei's mother jumped from the third floor of the family building in front of Xiaolan. Fortunately, there is a lawn below, but her leg is broken.

In the face of her mother-in-law's death threat, Xiaolan did not divorce again, but in the face of a drug-addicted husband, she could not accept it. She knows that even if she is rich, she is not enough for Sun Wei. Besides, I am a people's teacher, teaching people to be true and honest.

Suffering from pain and helplessness, Xiaolan returned to her mother's home and started a life of separation from Sun Wei, while her son Sun Jia was taken care of by Sun Wei's parents.

five

During a May Day holiday, Xiaolan signed up for a tour group to Jiuzhaigou for her parents. This is also the first time that my parents are not around. Xiaolan originally went with her parents, but that year she took the third grade exam, and the students had to make up lessons during the holidays. She really can't leave.

Xiaolan calls her parents every day after work to confirm her safety. But on the third day of her parents' trip, it was already midnight. Her parents' phone was connected, but no one answered. Xiaolan is worried. She repeatedly called her father's and mother's cell phone numbers, but no one answered.

Although some worry, but she still didn't think much, after all, there are many people going to the county, think about it will be fine.

The next morning, Xiaolan received a phone call from the travel company. The staff told Xiaolan that due to the steep fog and steep slope, the tourist bus that Xiaolan's parents took had an accident and fell into the ravine. Her parents' bodies were found and she was asked to claim them.

Xiaolan endured grief and got through to her younger brother Xiaogang. Brother and sister went to Sichuan together.

After dealing with her parents' funeral, Xiaolan was out of shape. Her eyes are deep and glassy. She often sits alone and talks to herself. After class, she sat on the bench and cried. When talking to other teachers, she choked with sadness.

She blames herself for not letting her parents go out to travel and for leaving their parents' lives in other places. She felt very unfilial She hurt her parents, and she was sorry for them.

In the daily remorse, Xiaolan is depressed and she is forced to rest at home.

A year later, under the treatment of a psychologist, Xiaolan returned to a normal life, and she also ended her ten-year painful marriage with her husband Sun Wei. Despite Xiaolan's best efforts, her son Sun Jia was finally awarded to her husband Sun Wei.

Where will you go after your life? Say goodbye to your unhappy marriage. Xiaolan devoted herself to teaching. In recent years, her teaching achievements are among the best in the county, which also comforted Xiaolan's injured heart and made her see a little light in life.

six

What happened in the classroom once again pushed her to the forefront and made her suffer a storm of accusations and crusades.

Xiaolan's corporal punishment of students should be blamed, but when I learned about her experience, I felt deep sympathy and regret for her life and fate.

People often make mistakes. When someone makes a mistake or makes a mistake, we often feel indignant at her mistake, accuse her and vent our dissatisfaction and resentment.

There are many reasons behind every event, and most of the time, we only care about the event itself, and the reasons that lead to the event are often the most neglected.

Especially in today's highly developed media, it is really easy to make an online celebrity or destroy a person, as long as it takes dozens of seconds.

Man, when we pick up the phone and shoot, think about what kind of influence or harm our video will bring to others.

Dante said: "A person with incomplete knowledge can make up for it with morality, but a person with incomplete morality can't make up for it with knowledge."

202124 may