Here is the secret of the second-child family, brothers and sisters living in harmony.

A mother who is pregnant with a second child chatted with me and mentioned that the most worrying thing about having a second child is not the economy or the energy, but the two children's getting along.

This mother is an only child, and has no experience of getting along with brothers and sisters. Now she will be a mother of two children. On the one hand, she is worried that the birth of Erbao will separate Dabao's love and feel sorry for Dabao. On the other hand, I think I can't take care of Erbao wholeheartedly and feel ashamed of Erbao.

After the release of the second child, more and more families have added two treasures. It is rumored that in the near future, China's fertility will be fully liberalized. Then, there will be more and more families with many children, and how to make brothers and sisters in the family live in harmony will also become a big problem that puzzles young parents.

As a mother who is not an only child, from my own experience and the process of raising two children, it is not difficult for brothers and sisters in the family to live in harmony. The secret is that parents should give special attention and sufficient love according to the characteristics of each child.

2

I have a younger brother, and I have always had a very good relationship with him. I have never felt neglected because I am a girl. I think it has something to do with the ample and fair love I got from my parents.

In my memory, with my younger brother, my mother will comb my beautiful pigtails as before. My younger brother is a little older and barks "Sister Sister" behind my ass every day. A little older, help with housework at home. Today, my brother washes the dishes and I clean the table. Tomorrow, I wash the dishes and he takes out the garbage.

After I gave birth to Erbao, I realized more and more that I need to pay more attention to Dabao and give her more love. What Mom and Dad did to Dabao, Dabao will do to Erbao.

Every Dabao has a complicated feeling about Erbao's arrival, especially when Dabao is under three years old. She/he is still a baby, and she is suddenly crowned as "brother and sister". Her mother's attention is distracted and she is no longer the center of the family. It is difficult for Dabao to welcome Erbao's arrival with complete joy.

Therefore, in many second-child families, after Erbao was born, Dabao will have a certain degree of behavior retrogression. For example, after Pippi was born, peaches weaned at the age of two and a half began to drink milk and asked to wear Pippi's diapers.

At this time, mother must be patient with Dabao. Her abnormal behaviors are even unreasonable. In fact, she is asking for help: seeking attention and care.

I don't know if you have this feeling. When Erbao, who is soft and cute, is in her arms, she stares at you with a dependent and affectionate face. Suddenly, Dabao becomes so bulky and unlovable against Erbao's background. If Dabao is disobedient again, her tired mother will lose patience. When I was confined, I always lost my temper at peaches and even spanked her. First, I am tired and in a bad mood; First, subjectively think that peaches are sisters, so they should be good.

in hindsight, how innocent peaches are! Although she has Erbao, she is only two and a half years old, and she is still a child! A child is like a mirror of parents. My unreasonable high demands on her are immediately projected on my younger brother. Slowly, I found out that she would also hit Pippi, sometimes for a reason, sometimes for no reason, and she was mumbling while playing, and her tone was strangely similar to that when I taught her a lesson.

With the arrival of Erbao, Dabao has doubts about "whether mom and dad still love me" for the change of family structure. At this time, what parents need to do is to give Dabao more attention and enough love. Children who are fed with love will not be jealous.

A big treasure that is "fed with love" is a good starting point for brothers and sisters to live in harmony.

3

Now Taozi is three years and nine months old, and Pippi is one year and four months old. The two children have been together for more than 5 days, from killing each other to falling in love, which also makes me feel a lot.

Every morning when Pippi opens his eyes, the first sentence is "Sister, Sister", and his hairy head arches into the peach's arms. "Sleeping God" peach didn't wake up when she was awakened by Pippi. Like a little adult, she felt her brother's head sleepily, and with a waking cavity, she responded softly and softly, "Pippi, let my sister sleep for a while?"

The sun is all over the sheets, and the jumping aperture surrounds the two little people, which makes people feel warm.

along the way, there are two tips for children in the second-child family to live in harmony: the two children should have more contact and guide Dabao to take an active part in taking care of Erbao; Give every child special love and attention, and set up a "big/two treasures parent-child time".

There is a saying that is right. Feelings need to be cultivated. If you want your brothers and sisters to have a good relationship, you must give them the opportunity to cultivate their feelings.

Peaches and Pippi have always slept in the same room with us, and now they have formed a habit of having "play time" before going to bed every day. Put big sheets on the fence of the cot, make a cave, hide and seek, and have fun. My sister read quietly with a picture book, and my brother also thumbed through a book called Chicken Ball from the bookshelf. Two people, who can't live without each other, are the happiest when they see each other laughing.

Throw diapers at my brother, take a small towel, and assign it to my sister to do, and then give a proper compliment: "Peaches can help my mother take care of my brother. It's really capable!" Peach smiled happily, with a satisfied and proud master expression on her face.

Emotional communication between children is very important, and parents and children's "special time" are equally important.

Dabao and Erbao have different needs for love and attention because of their different ages and genders.

For Dabao, who has already gone to kindergarten, the sweet two-person world with his mother can be companionship on the way to school, a walk after school, and a warm half-hour bedtime story.

I remember that one night after I gave birth to Pippi, Pippi seldom went to bed early. I told Peach a bedtime story. She put her little hand around my neck and said with a smile, "Mom, you finally love me again. I really like listening to your stories!" I froze and realized that this was the first time that I told Dabao a story after I gave birth to Erbao, and I used to hold her in my arms every night to tell a story.

For Erbao, who is still young, isn't it necessary to have "exclusive time" with her mother? Scientific research has proved that babies born within six months are born with their mothers, and intimate interaction with their mothers will directly affect their mental health when they grow up. Therefore, Erbao also needs special intimate time alone, for example, after taking a shower, mom gives her baby a quiet touch exercise.

4

In the family, parents' love is like sunshine. There are two or more children in the family, which is not to share the parents' love, but to extend it.

every child gets the nutrients he needs for love, and they nourish and accompany each other.

As the mother of a second-child family, we don't have to worry too much or feel indebted. Parenting is a process, and the needs are different according to the gender and age of the children. Treat each child's uniqueness with a developmental perspective, give exclusive love and attention, and store value in the family's "emotional account", and children will certainly get along more and more harmoniously and smoothly.

Children who are brought up with care and love will also have the ability to release love. "Brotherhood" is a precious wealth left by parents to their children.