Zhiyuan's Lulu in Heaven: If we are destined, we will still be together in the afterlife.

My dog, Lulu, stayed with us 15 years, and then left.

Ji Tingbiao/Wen

Lulu:

202 1 65438+3 1 year120: 00 on October 8th is an unforgettable and sad day for us. 15 years later, you struggled with the disease for 20 days and left in a hurry with disappointment for the world, your family and your master. You didn't sleep a wink when you left.

Although you left peacefully, there was no pain. However, because of your departure, our whole family was very sad and shed tears. To borrow a sentence from my friend, the famous writer Kobayashi: 15 years is enough to make a small tree soar into the sky; 15 years is enough to turn a baby into a teenager; 15 years is enough for us to understand the value of life; 15 years is enough to change a person's life.

Yes, 15 is so overbearing, but what about emotions? 15 years of emotion is enough to drown people's hearts. Once decomposed, it will be overwhelming and devastating. It is in this division that I feel the pain of cone heart.

Lulu: I raised my pen several times, but I gave up because I was afraid of touching this terrible photo. I can only swallow the pain of possession and chew endless memories in the dark.

15 years, you have never had any serious illness or been to the hospital. Occasionally, you just need to drink some milk to throw up. You always think it's a common gastrointestinal problem. Unexpectedly, on the night of 12 and 18 in 2020, you suddenly vomited and diarrhea, and you were incontinent. For two days, you only drink water and don't eat. In this regard, "mom" and I are very anxious.

On the morning of June 5438+February 2, 2020, you were sent to the former Shanghai Baoshan Veterinary Station for treatment. The doctor who received us is surnamed Li. After seeing your situation, Dr. Li said to me: Your Lulu's condition is complicated and serious. You must have a physical examination to prescribe the right medicine. Dr. Li went on to say, but the medical examination fee is very expensive. Would you like to? After that, Dr. Li waited for my statement. At this time, you also looked at me, and your eyes seemed to tell me that you were pleading with me.

In fact, before I went out, "Mom" and I had decided that as long as Lulu still had a chance, we would try our best to fight for it. So I immediately replied that as long as I can cure Lulu's illness, I don't have to worry about money. Soon, Dr. Li will draw your blood, do CT and B-ultrasound. I asked you to cooperate with the doctor, and you did.

Busy for a while, the result came out: you have severe chronic renal failure, pancreatitis, gynecological diseases, all of which are "senile diseases", but renal failure made my heart suddenly lift, my forehead exploded and I felt burning all over, but we always regarded your vomiting as gastroenteritis. No wonder you were not very active in the last few years of your life. It turns out that you have been dragging such a heavy body with us, and we have no idea.

Lulu: Dr. Li understood my attitude that day and immediately made careful preparations. He decided to give you an intravenous drip for five days as a course of treatment. In addition to anti-inflammatory drugs, there are nutrient solutions for six or seven hours a day, and the average intravenous drip fee is 500 yuan a day. I'll take you there every morning and pick you up at night. Whenever I go back, I will always touch your head and comfort you with my actions and eyes: don't be afraid, I am here. You also looked at me meekly with expectant eyes, asking me to pick you up early, lest I leave you alone.

Soon, five days passed and a course of treatment was over. You are also very obedient. It's really not easy for you to be tied up for six or seven hours every day these days. You will be re-examined as agreed on the same day, and the re-examination fee will remain unchanged. The test report is mixed: except for renal failure, other conditions have improved slightly. Dr. Li said that as far as the current situation is concerned, you are basically out of danger. After returning home, as long as you take care of yourself and feed your medicine on time, you can maintain your life. Of course, if a miracle happens, you may get better.

Lulu, in order to save you these days, I feed you medicine every day. These days are really hard and tired. However, I was satisfied with the results of the inspection that day, and it was worthwhile to suffer again and again.

Sure enough, under our careful care, you can defecate normally, your limbs can bounce and you can drink water by yourself, but you haven't recovered to the point where you can eat.

I posted the news that you turned the corner among my relatives and friends, and everyone was as happy as me.

Lulu: It's really unpredictable, and people will have fortunes one day. By 202 1, 1, something I didn't want to happen at all happened, and bad luck came to you again.

That morning, your condition deteriorated sharply. You not only vomited and diarrhea, but also had several convulsions. At two o'clock in the afternoon, you are stiff and foaming at the mouth. Faced with this tragic situation, I am really anxious. In order to save your life, I rushed to the door of the community with you in my arms, and hurriedly stopped a taxi and went straight to the veterinary station. After examination, Dr. Li said that you had a seizure, which was caused by kidney failure and heart disease. Dr. Li will give you an injection and medicine right away. Dr. Li said that this disease does not require hospitalization. Let me take you home to observe. If it still doesn't get better, it's hard to say At this point, my mood is very heavy, very agitated, invisible pressure is like the top of Mount Tai. You seem to feel my mind, and you look sad.

When you go home, I think you will get well after a good rest. So I went to the drugstore to buy medicine, and "mom" took her little grandson upstairs to do homework. However, when I came back and pushed the door open, you suddenly screamed at me sadly. You haven't called me that for over half a month. This tragic cry is particularly strange. It seems to blame me. Where have you been? Why did you leave me alone? When you saw me, you struggled to get up, but fell down again That scene will always be fixed in my heart. So you're begging me to save you. Even at this time, your mind is still so clear, which is really incredible.

Lulu: When I saw you lying flat beside the kennel, I was in tears. The terrible scene made my heart ache. At this time, I don't care about your sticky shit. I quickly knelt down and held you in my arms, and gently massaged under your head and neck according to Dr. Li's instructions, trying to alleviate your pain.

Lulu: I know you trust and depend on me very much. Whenever you are sick, as long as I am by your side, you will be much more stable. Yes, when we are together, you always look at me and I look at you, as if encouraging each other. You insist, I work hard, and try to live a miracle for everyone to see. This is our common wish.

Lulu: I want you to live for another three to five years, so I have been praying for you. I hope you can escape this robbery. But you are really in pain, the frequency of onset is getting higher and higher, and it is extremely difficult to breathe. I hold you and massage you constantly. My tears have soaked you through.

Lulu: Mom doesn't want you to suffer at this time. Mobilize me not to be disturbed by people and dogs, or go to the hospital to "give you that injection" and let you go "happily" In fact, Dr. Li has already advised me that it is better to let you leave peacefully if you struggle so painfully. But I won't take this step unless I have to. Later, my daughter, son-in-law, and little grandson all came over, and they all shed sad tears when they saw your miserable situation.

Lulu: I really want to stay at home with you tonight. Because I know this is the last time you spend the night at home in your life. My son-in-law looked at me with tears in his eyes and hugged you tightly. He couldn't bear to persuade my family to let me give up this wish and stay at home with you for the night.

But, Lulu, you really can't help yourself, and your illness is getting worse. Seeing that you are in such pain, everyone can't accept it, begging me to "let go". At this time, the son-in-law also changed his attitude and urged me to "let go". What does "let go" mean? You don't understand, but we know.

Lulu: Seeing your miserable situation, I can't let you continue to suffer, even if I have 1000 kinds of pain and 10 thousand kinds of disappointment. I have to face the cruel reality and make a choice.

At this time, I remembered the words on the American dog license:

"When I am old and not as cute as when I was a child, please still be kind to me, still take care of me and take me to the doctor, because we will be old one day.

When I was very old, my body had passed away and I couldn't live a normal life. Please don't try to keep me alive, because I can't. I know you don't want me to leave, but please accept this fact and stay with me at the last minute. Please don't say' I can't bear to watch it die' and walk away, because at the last moment of my life, if I can leave this world in your arms, I will listen to you. "

It seems that it is time for me to "let go" as a last resort. This also reflects a kind of love and responsibility for you.

So I learned from a bitter experience and said to my son-in-law, it's up to you, please. And tell my son-in-law, you must use the best etiquette and the highest specifications, so that you can walk the road of life with dignity, dignity, safety and peace. In this way, they contacted Dr. Li at the veterinary station and decided to let you go in peace. Then you were held by my son-in-law (you were in a coma at this time), and my daughter got in a taxi with "mom" and drove tragically to the veterinary station where you had the injection.

I stayed at home with my little grandson, because I couldn't bear to see you watching Where are you going with us.

Lulu: When you left home, I was heartbroken and cried. You don't understand that this is a farewell. If you leave, you will never come back. The little grandson didn't understand what was going on at first. When he knew the truth, he cried with me, and the crying shook the whole building.

At this time, the little grandson seems to have grown up at once. He cried to comfort me, told me to take good care of myself and let me accompany them healthily.

Lulu: Later, I learned that when you arrived at the veterinary station, you were exhausted and it was difficult to breathe, but you used your last strength to cooperate with Dr. Li to give you an anesthetic first, and then gave you the "needle". During the injection, the daughter took care of Dr. Li with tears, and the syringe was slowly pushed. She wants to keep you for a minute and a half. Soon, you relieved your pain and went to heaven calmly, comfortably and peacefully. Daughter, son-in-law and "mother" touched your body gently at the last minute. "Mom" shed tears, so did her son-in-law, and her daughter cried even more when she went back. This is the last time I have personal contact with you, and my heart is broken. ...

Lulu: After my son-in-law sent you through the last journey of your life, he took care of the relevant personnel again and again, and must make up your makeup. Can't be careless.

My son-in-law understands me very well, and he has done everything I want to do for you. He spared no expense to choose the best and most expensive pet funeral home for you.

Lulu: After seeing you off, the little grandson asked his parents who had just returned: Why not operate on Lulu? It may be saved. Listen, how much my little grandson likes you. Yes, he and you have been "friends" for years. On weekdays, you always let him touch you. If you change the children next door, you will turn against each other.

Lulu: 202 1, 654381On the evening of October 8, "Mom" sent you to heaven and went home. She is afraid that you will be frozen and hungry in a new place. She quickly asked me to tidy up all the things you left at home and pack them for you. There is food (ham sausage, dog food, milk, canned food, etc. ); Wear (underwear, cotton-padded clothes, raincoats, etc. ); Quilt cover (quilt cover, carpet mattress sheets, etc.). ); Life (kennel, dog bag, etc. ); Play (small ball, big basketball, doll, etc.). ); There are towels, rice bowls, washbasins and so on. We choose the burning point at the intersection in front of the building where we live, so that you are familiar with it and convenient. At about nine o'clock, I'll burn incense for you first, and then "Mom" will light it and incinerate it. That night, the lowest temperature in Shanghai dropped to -7. 1 degree, the lowest in 34 years in Shanghai. It's freezing, and there are no pedestrians in the community. And "mom" braved the biting cold wind and stood there for two hours. Her concern and love for you is really unparalleled. Do you remember how many times "Mom" bathed you in 15 (except pet shops)? Maybe you and I can't remember.

Lulu: When I burned everything for you, I was so tired that I fell down on the sofa where you slept, and wanted to sleep where you slept for one night to make up for my regret that I didn't accompany you at the last moment. But I still can't sleep. I stayed up all night. Because as soon as I close my eyes, I can see the sad scene of your illness in my mind. ...

Lulu: The next day, that is, 202 1 1 9, the pet funeral home that handled the aftermath for you sent me all the videos and photos of your memorial service through WeChat. I didn't want to watch it at that time, for fear that I couldn't stand it. Later, I still wanted to see your last body and see if the ceremony they organized for you was serious. So I opened the video regardless of my grief. I can't control my emotions when there is a sad and happy image of you. I wailed loudly, ran out of the room crying and rushed into the sky. ...

At this time, although tears blurred my eyes, it did not affect my recognition of you. When I saw the elegant, safe and quiet picture of you lying alone in the flowers, I felt extremely gratified and satisfied. Although no amount of money can buy back your life, it can buy your dignity and dignity. This solemn, solemn and grand scene is touching and shocking. However, I lost my temper when funeral music pushed you to be cremated. I beat my chest and cried myself into a daze. ...

Lulu: Do you remember 15 years ago that you were adopted from my sister's house in Chongming County? At that time, you were just a weaned puppy with big eyes, beautiful yellow hair and white hair, and everyone loved you. But the day you went abroad, you were covered with fleas. My daughter spent 150 yuan in the pet shop to give you a bath, disinfection and sterilization. On that day, I also gave you a nice name "Lulu", which was given to you without a name or surname. The name is 15. In this year, you just arrived in Shanghai and you ran under two cars on the road. Everyone thought you were finished, but I didn't expect that you just suffered a little skin injury and miraculously escaped this robbery.

Lulu: Do you remember being naughty when you were a child? You have bitten off the telephone line at home many times, and left one of our slippers in the east and the other in the west, but we can't find them. I even scratched my hand several times to help you take a bath. I have to be vaccinated four times a month. When you were a child, you liked to eat salty popsicles on a hot day. I always bring you one when I come back from work. When you saw me, you came running from far away to meet me. You liked to jump out of bed when you were a child. I won't let you jump when I grow up, but you secretly jump when we fall asleep. You also like to play with Barney, the golden retriever of the famous contemporary young writer Han's parents' house next door. You are loyal, generous, affectionate and really touching to him. Later, "Tu Tu" died several years before you. I don't know why you never make friends with other dogs again. ...

In these fifteen years, we have regarded you as family. You have followed us to Haimen and Suzhou in Jiangsu, and traveled to Chongming and Xitang in Zhejiang last year, enjoying the beautiful life on earth and the warmth of family happiness with us. From 15, you are lovely, lively, loyal, kind and intelligent, and have also given us endless fun and joy. Really, our whole family appreciates your company in 15!

Lulu: In a flash, 15 years passed quickly. I'm still here, but you're gone. After you left, I thought about it day and night and couldn't sleep. I have been immersed in pain since you left. I don't go out, don't move, don't take a shower, and sleep in my clothes every day.

After you left, I was thin, old and lost a lot of hair, just like I had a serious illness. For several days, I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat or eat any more. For me, even good food is boring.

After you left, I dare not and don't want to go to the local community green belt, Yongqing Park and Mudanjiang Road Garden. Every one of these places has your breath, and the traces can't be covered up and scattered. It landed in the corner there, leaving me screaming your name and crying.

After you left, you often heard Sissoso's voice at night. I thought you got up to drink water and shit, and when you turned on the light, it turned out to be an illusion. Alas, you have gone and gone, and you are really not used to it. When you were here, you always came out to meet us when we came in, but not now. Sometimes I think you are in the house, I can't see you, so I call you a few times. Sometimes my neighbor's dog barks. I think someone is ringing my doorbell and you are barking.

In these days, whenever I think of you, I feel sad. Your miserable and painful look, your pleading expression, has always occupied my mind.

Lulu: I know, you don't want to leave, because we have loved you 15 years, and you love us. So when you were seriously ill, you desperately begged me to save you, and I wouldn't let you go at all costs. But you left us so helplessly. What kind of cruelty is this? But please rest assured that this day will be commemorated for you every year. We are familiar with this day, because the anniversary of the death of a great man is also this day. Lulu: In order to remember you forever, I made a commemorative card for you, and I'm going to compile an album for you. Your urn is buried where you lived, so that we can see you conveniently.

Lulu: Everyone says there is no disease in heaven. Is it true?/You don't say. Is it cold in heaven? Is there any milk dog food in sausage heaven that is used to eating on the earth? Now that you are far away from us, you should take care of yourself.

Lulu: Don't forget that we are in heaven. When you miss us, you can dream. We can't meet during the day. I hope we can hug each other forever in our dreams.

Lulu: I have been writing this letter for several days, but I can't go on writing it. I cry every time I write. I always cry every time I write.

When I finished writing this letter, it was 15 years1the morning of October 1 1, which was also your first seven days. At this point, I was in tears.

Lulu: Finally, I want to tell you: Although we live far apart, we still love you and love you forever. May you live better and better in heaven!

If predestined friends, we will be together in the afterlife!

(202 1 1 15 am)

Brief introduction of the author

Ji Tingbiao, male, party member, demobilized soldier. He used to be the deputy company commander of the state-owned farm, the special researcher of the workers' ideological and political work research association of the units directly under the central enterprises, and the correspondent of "Branch Life". My hobby is writing. I have published more than 200 news, newsletters and papers in major newspapers and periodicals in Shanghai. Now retired and settled in Shanghai.