Tone phrase: Sister, all my toothbrushes have exploded.

Yesterday, when I went to the toilet to poop, I vaguely remembered to bring a paper towel ... After I pulled it, I rummaged through my pockets and found it was a wet paper towel ... It was a pothole or a super mint smell ... It was a cool day in the winter at MINUS 5 degrees. . .

I chatted with my cousin in senior three and asked him if he had a girlfriend. He replied, "No.I haven't decided on my orientation yet, for fear of hurting other girls." I was shocked at that time! You must tell his parents such an important thing. He is an only child. The grumpy brother-in-law immediately ran to school and beat him up. Just now, he angrily yelled at me on the phone: "Sister, I said where to go! Go! "

After I got married, I was very frugal. I won't throw away my used toothbrush and put it in a cup. Sometimes there are some small stains on the sink, just brush it with a toothbrush! Simple and convenient! After a long time, the brush burst! Later, once my brother came to my house, he gave me a lot of toothbrushes when he came back, and called me again: Sister, the toothbrushes are all fired, which is not good for my teeth. Please throw them away. ...

A couple is sitting in their living room. The husband said, "I'm going to sit in the bar for a while." Please put on your coat. " The wife was surprised and replied, "Why? Do you want to take me with you? " The husband replied, "No, I want to turn off the air conditioner."

I was born in 89. Chatting with some colleagues at work today. Suddenly, a colleague in his fifties said to me with emotion, "Xiao Wang, people are lucky to be alive as long as they are not sick or suffering." My colleagues who used to work with me are all sick and very young. It's a pity. " I ... I ... I really want to change my job

Confessing to the goddess, she said, "You are 20 centimeters away from me. If you can touch me without your head and hands, I will agree to stay with you. " . I was so excited at that time that I took off my pants and found it was a little worse. Then I had an idea and peed all over her. I just want to ask my friends, does this really count as knowing her? I'm afraid she won't recognize me next time.

On my way home from work last night, I suddenly saw a boy in a hat fighting with someone. His back is familiar, so I can recognize him carefully. Isn't that my son? I rushed up to catch him: "smelly boy, you don't come home from school, and you fight with people on the road!" " My son replied nervously, "Dad, you have mistaken me for someone else." ..."

My nephew brought a homework problem for the first grade of primary school. Question: Xiaoming has a 35-page story meeting. He read 10 page the day before yesterday, 5 pages yesterday and 8 pages today. How many pages does he want to read tomorrow? I'm completely blind. ...

When I went to work in the morning, I saw a belt buckle whizzing by, and there was a row of small words behind it: Even if you saw my taillight, you won. My hot temper, I caught up with the accelerator, and finally succeeded in catching up with his ass after three kilometers. Damn it, the taillights are not on at all. Well, I braked suddenly. I didn't even notice. Anyway, the insurance company must have damaged the car.

I went to my best friend's house and she was reading a book. . . I asked her why she was so diligent. She said: "Treat people with color, and color is declining." I asked what it meant, and she explained, "I take selfies every day, and my friends are tired of watching them." So I'm going to make jokes and be an educated slut. "

Classic quotation: Fried! We are all in a hurry.

Because I am single, my friends are very worried about me, so they gave me a trick. In the evening, I will go dancing in the square with my aunt. After getting familiar with them, I will probably introduce my daughter, niece and niece to you. I tried, and it really worked. Today, an aunt really asked me if I had a date! Then he added: this! A gentleman who dances square dance is worth not looking for a girlfriend!

It's a little cold these two days, and my mother is lazy. She is watching TV after supper. Mom: "Is it cold?" Me: "Not cold." Mom: "Well, do the dishes!" " "Me:" ... "So, in the tragic silence of washing dishes. Mom added: "Is it cold? "I:" Cold. "I thought my mother really felt sorry for me. As a result, my mother said, "OK, put on gloves and wash the pot. "

I had some problems with my roommate and quarreled several times. As a result, my husband and brother came to me and asked me why. What's there to argue about? Some people say that I am too tolerant. I didn't want to pay attention to him originally. This is a trivial matter. Hearing this sentence, I lost my temper. What does it mean to listen to others? Is what others say authoritative? Such a brainless person. . .

I happened to meet the manager when I came out of the toilet in the morning. The manager looked at me: Whose tooling are you wearing? I was surprised and quickly said that Lao Liu got off work today. I didn't wash mine, so I wore his. I asked again: how did the manager see it? The manager glared: nonsense, when you came out of the toilet, your index finger and middle finger kept rubbing on the tooling. You must be reluctant to part with yourself!

My cousin is not married in her thirties. When she got home, she was forced to ask by an uncle in his eighties: Why are you still single when everyone else is married and has children at this age? Is there any hidden disease? Cousin couldn't bear it, and directly replied: At your age, many people have died. Why don't you die? ..... Cousin is a daughter, so she is probably detained. ...

Talking with colleagues If you could be invisible, what would you do? Some rob banks, some kiss goddesses, some peeping tom, and some go to bathhouses. . . . . A 2B colleague: I put a hundred dollars in the square. Whoever picks it up will step on his hand!

There is a kindergarten next to my home. If you go back late and there is no land, you have to stop at the door. I stopped several times, but there was nothing I could do. The doorman's eldest brother will call for a taxi around 7: 00 in the morning. I used to say, "Hello, the hospital is about to open, and the children will be here soon. Please get out of the car. " Just the day before yesterday, Big Brother called "Hello, it's time to get up." Haha, yes, with an alarm clock.

My best friend introduced me to a boyfriend, which was a big promotion. At present, I have received quite a lot of VX, and they are all very enthusiastic and ask for warmth! I just found out today that she introduced me to her boyfriend with my swimsuit photo! Tomoji ...

I went to my cousin's house and found his little one they called bean crying badly. I asked my cousin, "What's wrong?" Bullying children ... "The one they called Bean choked and said: I just want a gift, but my mother won't give it to me ..." Oh, bad mother, my aunt will definitely give you what you want ... "Cousin said sadly: He wants a younger brother, so you can give him a baby. ...

When men encounter difficulties and setbacks, women in China usually say, "You are useless. Look at other men. Where are you? You are really worthless. " European and American women usually say, "Oh, honey, you're actually doing very well." Japanese women usually say, "So-and-so, please come on."

At that time, I was playing mahjong with my friends at home, and a man had something on the road. My brother-in-law just came to play and asked him to go to the top. He said he couldn't play. My friend said he couldn't play these days, so he dragged him to the table. When the goods arrived, he took four donkeys and threw them in the middle of the table and said, Blow! We are all in a hurry. . . .

Koko is super funny. His personality made him laugh his head off.

1, chatting is valuable and the internet fee is higher. If you are sleeping, you can throw them both.

2. The furthest distance in the world is that others are reviewing and you are previewing.

I'm crazy about studying. The teacher will send me to a mental hospital quickly.

My biggest weakness is lack of money.

The girl I like belongs to others, and the girl I don't like belongs to others.

6. There is a kind of injury called winter vacation homework, and there is a kind of pain called writing hand.

7. Now there are more and more billionaires, and I only have one hundred million, which is still a memory.

8. My advantage: I dare to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

9. I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.

10, Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp.

1 1, I am such a good girl that you despise, young man. Do you like men?

12, I don't like to do homework during the holidays, and I found so much homework when I started school.

13, a report card, how many harmonious families have been destroyed?

14, next to each alarm clock, there is a big slacker.

15, buying a computer without broadband is like a monk who eats only when wine and meat are ready.

16, your faint smile, pigs and dogs hanged themselves, you said you were great.

17, "What do Taoist priests generally call themselves?" "original." "What about the Taoist who loves to watch movies?" ""electricity ... the movie being original? "

18, parents fool their children into calling education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Cheating each other is called the generation gap.

19, I want to build my happiness on the suffering of others.

20. My advantage: I have the courage to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

2 1, the world is too dark, the heart is too dark, we are too fake, and love is too stupid.

22. Since I blacklisted you, my waist has been sore and my legs have stopped hurting.

Don't cry in front of me, I'm afraid I can't help but make you cry louder.

24. Time tells you what aging is, and memories tell you what naivety is.

25. Don't praise my sister for her beauty. I don't believe your mouth.

26. I know that you have a brother (chest), and everyone can see it.

27. I am Altman, and you are a little monster, so you only get beaten.

28. When the time is right, let's hold hands aboveboard.

29. Since there is no me in your future, I will definitely send you a backup gift as a surprise.

30. Gold always shines, not to mention that I am a diamond.

3 1, let me fall, I will make him never stand up again.

32. Giving equals gaining, which is just your self-righteousness.

33. A bitch is a bitch, and a bitch is melodramatic.

Your acting is really good. If you want to act, I can continue to be an audience.

Love is such a painful thing, please don't let me participate.

36. Even if no one loves me, I can still live a chic life.

Since God chose me to fall in love with you, you have no reason to refuse.

My heart is with you, and I have the right to get it back at any time.

It's not that I don't love you anymore, but that I can't afford to lose any more.

In fact, there are not many people who are kind to you in this world. It's good to have me.

4 1, girl, I am born arrogant, not a lover.

42. Your world will be with me from now on. Be careful that there will be no peace.

If I don't love you, I won't care about you.

44. I trust you, scum. You are really stupid.

You are the money in my hand, and you will never escape from my palm.

46. If you don't love, why make such a bad excuse?

47. Before judging others, you'd better weigh your weight in others' hearts.

About your love, I will read it like a novel.

49, infatuated with my sister's dog, follow my sister.

I don't think you need to make a promise to me like a cloud.

Inspirational talking about mood phrases.

1, the most powerful people are those who bear a heavy burden in their hearts but are indifferent on the surface.

2. Forget failure, but remember the lessons of failure.

3, all goals are dark, only actions are accompanied by light!

4, the world is cold, knowledgeable, and humanistic cultivation is an article.

5. Memory is the way of the weak; Look ahead and you will win.

6. I believe that the rainbow will always follow the mist and bring happiness.

7. Memories are the past after all. How can I live by memories?

8. Life is a throbbing pain. The pain will last for a while.

9. People should believe in themselves. This is the secret of success.

10, although it has not reached the finish line yet, it is at least closer to the finish line than yesterday.

1 1, look up, what white clouds; Fool, try to smile.

12. From now on, I will live a hard and strong life.

Everything will be fine in the end. If it's not good, it's not over yet.

14, one day, the sunflower will touch the little sun because it never leaves.

15, after the storm, the sun still blooms.

16, even if the dream is out of reach, it will come true one day as long as you persist.

17, no one in this world can't live without anyone, because we are all strong children.

18, forget your promise and live the rest of your life alone.

19, no one can go back and start over, but anyone can write a completely different ending from now on.

Back to the starting point, let's start my new life from now on.

2 1, cheerful, optimistic and positive; Keep pace with the times and strive for self-improvement!

22. Only those who can't figure it out, there is no road that can't be taken.

23. I believe that as long as you walk steadily, you will always get out of your life.

When you stop to have a rest, don't forget that others are still running.

25. Relationships come out, feelings come out, friends come out, but careers come out, not blown out.

26. Everything has finally passed, and everything has just begun.

27. Try not to drown in the crowd, so try to live a rich life.

28, to learn to get rid of hooligans, has its own wonderful.

What's the big deal about smiling? Tomorrow will be better.

30. Forget the past and live a good life is the most important thing.

3 1. Give up loving you and keep looking for someone who can find me.

32. I am a great bird. I don't know your ambition.

33. Being happy is a day, and being unhappy is also a day. I will seize the time and live happily every day.

34. Crying and shedding tears is a cowardly catharsis. Laughing and crying is a brave declaration.

35. Bravely pursue happiness, which is the flower language of sunflower.

36. Even if there is no "beauty", life should be as beautiful as a flower.

I poured my love into the sea, and when it dried up one day, it was my determination to print it on the shore.

38. Understand the past, live in the present and prepare for the future!

39. No matter how painful your heart is. I will smile and tell the world that I am fine!

40. Losing love is not necessarily a bad thing, but may be the beginning of the next happiness.

4 1, sighing is the most wasteful thing, and crying is the most wasteful behavior.

Don't worry, the best things come when you least expect them to.

43. I continued to insist, even though I was in tears.

44,-stubborn sunflower, still follow the sun, even if it burns …

45. I will convince everything tomorrow with a smile.

46. Time cannot go backwards, so we must move forward.

47. Don't completely lose your possessiveness of love because of a relationship and step into a dark corner.

48. Even if the chicken of life flies, I am still 1 Xiao Qiang who can't be killed.

49. As long as you believe, it is possible.

50. The reality is sad. Now girls would rather cry in a BMW than laugh on a bicycle. If I can't get you, wait until I earn enough money to find your daughter!

5 1, the most wonderful thing in life is not the moment to realize your dream, but the process of sticking to it.

52. You may fail. You can cry. But you can't lose courage and confidence in yourself.

53. What I regret most in life is that I didn't study hard when I was young.

54. A strong woman will cry, but she will not give up.

55. An angel without wings, his heart is still flying.

No matter how helpless you are, smiling is the best way to cheer up.

57. Rest is for a longer journey later.

No matter how difficult it is, please believe that the sun is new every day as long as life is still there.

59. I didn't quite understand it until I stumbled. You are the only one who knows Russia.

60. If tenacity is exercised by crying, let me cry in the dark.