2020 funny qq space talk about mocking self-deprecation

1. After you left, I screamed heartbreakingly; I won’t sell this pig anymore

2. One day, Cupid took advantage of me while I was sleeping and shot the arrow of love. Shoot into my heart, and from then on I couldn't help but fall in love with you.

3. Learn to be strong. In fact, a person can live a beautiful life. He can laugh to himself and cry to himself.

4. The geography teacher asked: Which are the four oceans? My answer: Pleasant Goat, Beautiful Goat, Lazy Goat, Boiling Goat

5. You must take good care of yourself, don’t stay up late often surfing the Internet, don’t keep staring at the phone screen with sore eyes, and don’t skip meals when you are hungry. , don’t always drink drinks and eat junk food, pay attention to safety when crossing the road and look at the cars, remember to bring an umbrella when it rains, take medicine when you have a cold, run more laps if you have nothing to do, drink more hot water and shed less tears, no one will I always care about you, so you have to be obedient and take care of yourself.

6. I wanted to turn around gracefully, but I didn’t expect to hit the wall in style.

7. You are a typical man who lacks female hormones

8. Adults always say, don’t talk to me about money, because talking about money hurts feelings. I just want to say, don’t talk about relationships with me. Talking about relationships will hurt your money.

9. Adolescent love is spiritual opium. Whether you smoke it or not, there are always countless Lin Zexu standing behind you.

10. When you truly love something, you will find how fragile and powerless language is.

11. If Columbus had a wife, would he still have discovered the New World?

12. I really don’t want to scold you, you shameless, despicable, treacherous and treacherous villain.

13. The so-called growth is to force a person to be strong

14. Might comes again, how many things are clear! Since there are so many, you might as well put it off any longer.

15. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case.

16. No matter what, you should learn from Tencent and call me dear every day!

17. Meeting you is like meeting a ghost, falling in love with you is even more confusing

18. Love is not a small thing, but the accumulation of small things.

19. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you are invisible and I am online, but when I am online, you are invisible.

20. Years later. I still remember the way she looked all over her body that winter night.

21. Some people say you look like a mouse, others say you look like a monkey, but you are obviously a pig!

22. You agreed not to make me cry, but you f*cking smoke me with onions.

23. The time is right, the place is right, the emotion is right, but the character is wrong!

24. As an excellent salesperson, our goal is to put customers to sleep.

25. Love can’t be divided, hate can’t be trusted, and love can’t be trusted too easily.

26. Cucumbers must be photographed, and life must be exciting. Life is short and there is no regret.

27. If you think you are an onion, no one will dip it in your sauce.

28. When you have no money, your wife is also your secretary; when you are rich, your secretary is also your wife.

29. Women take away your disguise.

30. Let the future come and let the past pass

31. On the summer night when the sweet-scented osmanthus is fragrant, the moon is like a silver plate; the trees are like dancing girls; and the wind is like light clothes. I'm standing in the water room. White teeth, clear waves, cream whiter than snow, brush your teeth.

32. If you choose to skip the required courses, you must skip the elective courses.

33. Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs chew bones, and pigs sleep!

34. Why does love always make me hurt, so I learned to be alone and no longer have extravagant hopes.

35. I will continue to love without your permission

36. You scold me now because you don’t understand me yet. When you understand me in the future, you will definitely Hit me.

37. Those who are conceited will always crow among the cranes. Classic Quotes

38. I wish that tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day will be a sunny day, turning couples into big pancakes.

39. Everyone seems to be falling in love, leaving me alone to build socialism.

40. The things you cry about will one day be said with a smile

41. Either live well or die quickly. Funny self-deprecating remarks

1. My character has not been unlocked yet.

2. Don’t panic if you cheat, just pretend if you are caught.

3. Only baring your teeth can find me at night!

4. Driving at night was filmed as if no one was driving.

5. People have to wait for the bus at night...

6. You don’t need a visa to go to Africa, right?

7. No matter how you take a picture of me, it will always be a silhouette.

8. It is harder to kill a Q pet than to kill a person.

9. For many people, cutting their hair means disfigurement!

10. I like to go out at night, a feeling of drifting away.

11. How could I kiss you in the dark without breaking your lamp?

12. As soon as I leave the Wifi, I feel that my phone is useless.

13. The famous flower I love has an owner, but the one who loves me is miserable.

14. Is my face oily? Reflective, cannot be seen clearly

15. It is said that you will get three points if you hand in a blank paper, which is called a clean paper.

16. Being shameless too many times is called a strong psychological quality.

17. I feel so unfortunate to know you in such a big world.

18. It’s not scary to be disconnected from the Internet. What’s scary is that it happens one after another.

19. If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. If you want to die, I will help you!

20. The function of the alarm clock is to remind me to change my sleeping position.

21. I am not familiar with Wu Bai, but his brother Erbai Wu is very familiar with me.

22. When I wear a skirt and go out, others think I am wearing black stockings.

23. If soy sauce drips on me, you can’t find where it dropped...

24. If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend others. If someone offends me, I will drive that person crazy. .

25. Every time I pass by a classmate in front of the blackboard, I think my clothes are floating away.

26. When I go out on the street recently, people always ask me if I am hot for China or Africa.

27. As soon as your hand holds the mouse, you lose the will to do your homework.

28. In today’s society, it is more important to use a mobile phone than to use toilet paper when going to the toilet!

29. The ones you wear are more dangerous than the others, and the ones you wear long are safer than the ones you wear.

30. If anyone burns my sister’s paradise, I will stew her wings.

31. Turn off the lights and video with a friend. The friend once thought that his computer screen was black.

32. Yeah, yeah, yeah! ! The three great men in The Heirs are all Cancers!

33. If you are looking for something in a pile of coal, you can only poke it with a stick. The soft one is me and the hard one is coal.

34. I don’t care if my friends are black or not, because they are not as black as me.

35. None of my friends could find me when playing hide-and-seek at night, but I won in the end.

36. Others come out of amniotic fluid, but I may come out of ink.

37. The most tragic thing in the world is: meeting a foodie at the same table when buying delicious food.

38. Why does it take so long for the little devil fairy to transform and the bad guys don’t attack her.

39. I once passed by a fire scene and was taken away by an ambulance for no apparent reason.

40. When quarreling on QQ, what matters is not the accumulation of swear words, but the speed of typing.

41. Go your own way and let others tell you! Eat your own food and let others spit it out!

42. If you don’t let Zhang Fei be fierce, you won’t lose to Hei Li Kui. He dug coal in Xishan and was a thief in Dongshan.

43. There are three possibilities for girls to suffer from insomnia: missing their boyfriend; missing the boy they have a crush on; eating too much

44. When I was a child, my family had no money, so I would always pull a rope behind my back. Flying a kite with a plastic bag.

45. Today’s juniors and juniors are getting shorter every time, more frustrated than ever before, and more awkward than ever before.

46. Crossing the zebra crossing, I appeared, I disappeared, I appeared, I disappeared,,,,,,,

47. You have a split lip. Forgot to put on lip balm. I have some on my lips. Can you give me some?

48. One night, I asked the magic mirror who was the blackest person in the world. The magic mirror said, who is talking!

49. Grinning at night... Yeah! Whose dentures are they?

50. When the teacher asks me to answer a question in class, I always say: Teacher, please read the answer again and I will see if it is correct.

51. When I get angry, I want to buy something. When I buy something, I have to spend money. When I spend money, I get less money. When I get less money, I get angry.

52. I originally wanted to make a splash in this midterm exam, but when the test papers were handed out, I decided to hide my strength.

53. When doing chemistry experiments in class, our teacher said: Do the students in the front row buy insurance?

54. I don’t envy Little Putao for kissing EXO. I’m not blind, how can I not envy him! Ah, I am truly envious and jealous!

55. One day I was walking on the road with my friends, and suddenly a passerby yelled at my friend in horror: Your shadow is alive!

56. I hope that one day we can become strangers again, and then we can get to know you again. Look at how I can kill you!

57. My deskmate is a top student, and he has an unparalleled talent in handling the teacher. Even if I get scolded by the teacher one day, he can take me to Demacia!

58. Two academic masters, two academic masters, test high, test high! One didn't write his name, and the other didn't fill in the answer sheet. It's so happy, so happy!

59. Once I went to see a Zen master and asked him: What should I do if I am too dark? The Zen master opened the temple door, and I said: Zen master, are you asking me to open my heart? The Zen Master replied: I just want to see where you are.

60. I was still eating biscuits when the lights were turned off in the dormitory in the second year of high school. Then the class teacher came in. I had the biscuit in my mouth and dared not make a sound. Then I saw the class teacher staring at me, and I didn’t even think about it. I dared to move, and then I saw the class teacher approaching me little by little, and finally said, oh, you are here... A self-deprecating funny space talk about 2020

1. Wait I found my wife, and the first thing I did was kiss her for three days and three nights. I want to ask, where have you been all these years?

2. Confucius said, if you don’t sleep at noon, you will collapse in the afternoon; Mencius said, Confucius is right.

3. Sometimes I take out my ID card when I feel that I have become ugly, and I will find that I have really thought too much.

4. Many people like to say: Just wait for me! But after waiting for many years, I still haven’t received it. . . Embarrassing.

5. We should have been heartless a long time ago, and we don’t need to be heart-wrenching now

6. Silence is gold, a floating bath is fire, tolerance is water, clumsiness is wood, who Is it corny?

7. Men are in love, women are in love, turn off the light and let me go.

8. To be honest, I really envy your skin. How can you take it off? It's so well maintained.

9. When we get married, we will have a ring tattooed on our finger, and whoever gets divorced first will have his finger chopped off.

10. I am lonely by nature because I hate people.

11. College is all about learning!

12. The biggest fear when playing with mobile phones during self-study in the evening is that the whole school will have a power outage, and then a white light will be emitted from you...

13. The weather is very good, and I have been in the room for a long time. , ready to go to the living room to relax.

14. Yell when you see an injustice, and make a fool of yourself when it’s time to make a fool of yourself

15. The great thing about mathematics is that Chinese characters mixed with English and Greek letters turn out to be Arabic numerals.

16. The minimum goal of a college student: a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and some farmland.

17. The true nature of human nature at the beginning of life

18. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten. I think Zhou Yu must be a fat man, otherwise why would everyone call him Dudu. It's mine, don't move it. If it's not mine, leave it there for me.

19. No doubt, I am the lover of your dreams.

20. Please do not harass me while you are harassing others.

21. I will work hard to save money and buy an ATM.

22. As long as the heart is willing to climb, there is no height that cannot be reached.

23. When another woman shows up, the oath turns into nonsense.

24. The starry sky at night is like small sparks rippling in the sea water, twinkling and dancing with tiny points of light.

25. The days of pain and happiness are called youth.

26. You waste air when you are alive and waste land when you are dead.

27. You have your freedom and can find women as you please.

28. Xiao San, it’s just the remainder in division

29. I don’t see any difference between you and a dog, you look a bit human!

30. I am scraping you, not curettage. How can I clean it without being ruthless?

31. You are the murderer of clogged sewers. Swearing words

32. Whose name was carved on the table? How are you now?

33. Today’s dogs are so capable that they can even pretend to be humans, right?

34. She taught you to cherish, but you used it to accompany others. You taught him to love, but he spent the rest of his life with another person.

35. I dreamed that my boyfriend was dead, so I cried sadly. When I woke up and found that I didn’t have a boyfriend at all, I cried even more sadly.

36. In the days when there were no women, I enjoyed teasing men!

37. I have always had a doubt in my heart. It has been a year, a whole year, what has the gray wolf been eating to survive?

38. The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch You grow old alone.

39. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, nor the unknown love, but the distance between the bed and the outside in winter.

40. I used 10,000 lies to form a coquettish eye and shot it at you. You ended up in a pool of blood, with your body riddled with Cupid’s bullets.

41. You insisted on making Audrey Hepburn a street girl in real life.

Funny self-deprecating remarks

1. The so-called meeting with a master is the scene of the mistress and the real one, which is a very harmonious scene.

2. These days, no one would be embarrassed to go out without a fat wife.

3. A foreigner came to teach English and damaged the podium.

4. Only good-looking people have youth, and only ugly ones have acne...

5. Brother, please excuse me, you are blocking my mobile phone signal.

6. First learn not to be angry, and then learn to make others angry.

7. The most romantic thing I can think of is for you to spit out bubbles for me after drinking 1 liter of shower gel.

8. Don’t use your little human mind to think about this sacred world.

9. Why is Friday so close to Monday, but Monday so far from Friday! This is not scientific!

10. We are brothers. I will help you up when you fall, but you have to wait until I finish laughing first.

11. The person holding the broom may not be the cleaner, but it may be Harry Potter.

12. If you are born in the 90s, you have the heart of the 80s and the face of the 70s.

13. There is a kind of quietness called Laoban is coming...

14. I am a nail, but I am afraid of a hammer!

15. You use QQ every day. Have you ever thought about how you feel about QQ?

16. It turns out that "husband" means "￥" when turned upside down, and "husband" means "pay bills" when turned upside down! ?

17. Every time the chemistry teacher does an experiment on the podium, the students below silently recite the word "explosion"

18. A tree will die if it has no bark, and a person will die if it has no skin. Invincible. If you don’t have any shame, what else do you have to be afraid of?

19. Think openly, have fun, and have some fun.

20. Who gave you such courage? Don’t tell me it was Liang Jingru.

21. What are you looking at with those happy beans of yours? No matter how you look at me, I am not yours.

22. I have killed wolves and spared tigers. I was once a 250

23. If I love you, I will tolerate you. If I don’t love you, I will ignore you!

24. The ocean-like murderous intention comes from the ant-like jealousy.

25. Shout out, "Cao Mu Ma", all moods are good.

26. Thick thighs, black stockings, this summer is really scary.

27. There is military training, but the instructors are so handsome.

28. Why are you pretending to be city dwellers? Now the whole world is called a village.

29. Even if you beat me to death, you haven’t used a honey trap yet!

30. Don’t mess with me, or I will make you die in a rhythmic manner.

31. - When you are happy, you are pathologically lively, and when you are quiet, you are frighteningly quiet.

32. The person who feels safe is Aotuman, the person who is rich is the bank, and the person who is handsome is Xiangqi!

33. If you don’t flirt with a beautiful man, you will go against the grain. If you see a handsome man, you will do it for heaven.

34. Let me tell you a joke called I Still Believe in Love.

35. If you love me deeply, call me your lover.

36. Your love story is so sensational, how could I not believe it.

37. When pOSE is moved, it can’t help but make a scissor hand gesture.

38. Fat, why are you always so persistent with me?

39. Gold will always shine, mirrors will always reflect, and scum will best die.

40. Nori I like good times.

41. During military training, he offered Xiao Jingteng an incense stick and begged him to come to Jiaozhou for a concert!

42. I don’t have a man, so I need to be fat to survive the winter...

43. When I see someone I like, I enter the show-off mode.

44. Last year, even monks were speculating in the stock market. This year, those speculating in the stock market have become monks.

45. I broke up with summer vacation because of that bitch at the beginning of school!

46. You are 3 and I am 9. Apart from you, I am still you.

47. "What seat are you in?" "Made of meat"

48. I am curious, why does an ant not bleed if you crush it to death?

49. When I die, I will engrave my QQ number on my tombstone. PS: Allow anyone to add me as a friend.

50. Girl, what dish do you cook well at home? I can boil boiled water well.