Why can a monument be erected only 3 years after death?

In rural areas of Hebei, there is a lot of emphasis on building tombs and erecting monuments. Monuments cannot be erected immediately for new graves, and monuments for deceased relatives cannot be erected until three years later. In addition, most people require both parents to be deceased before they can erect a monument, but there are also cases where one parent is still alive and well. Customs vary from place to place, and the presentation of funeral culture must also be different. Now I would like to share with you some of the customs and particularities in building tombs and monuments in my hometown.

1. Should both parents be dead before a monument can be erected?

1. Both parents are gone, and the person who left last can erect the monument three years later

Strictly speaking, the monument should be erected only after both parents are gone. monument. No matter which parent walks behind, they have to wait at least for the third anniversary before erecting a monument. Because in ancient times, these three years were considered to be the period of mourning, so the earth cannot be moved on the ancestral graves, and no earth can be added to the tombs even during the Qingming Festival within three years.

Why do we have to wait three years to add soil, build tombs and erect monuments? Because the old people believe that the cemeteries within the three-year mourning period are considered new graves, and moving new graves means adding new ones. This is also a very taboo thing for people.

2. Three years after one parent has passed away, but the other parent is still alive

At this time, if the parents erect a joint burial monument, they can use only one parent’s name and not the other parent’s name. Way is the best. After all, the latter is still alive, and it always feels unlucky to have it carved on it. You can leave the place and make up for it later. But if you want the tombstone to look complete, you can also carve the names of both parties on the tombstone in advance. However, the name of the surviving party must be outlined in red. If possible, the name of the surviving party must be covered.

In fact, in ancient times, only wealthy families erected monuments, while ordinary people rarely erected monuments. Even modern people, including the rural people in my hometown, rarely erect monuments. The main reason is that there are too many specialties and taboos about erecting monuments. Tombstones are equivalent to the gates of yangzhai. If the tombstone is not properly set up and offends the ancestors, it will have a bad impact on future generations. It is better not to erect it at all!

2. What is the point of erecting a monument?

1. Time to erect the monument

The time to erect the monument can be the anniversary of the death of the old man, or the traditional Qingming Festival and October 1st. The old people stipulated that there are no taboos on all the graveyard matters such as adding soil to the tomb, erecting monuments, planting trees and so on before and after the Qingming Festival. Therefore, in order to ensure everything goes smoothly, people concentrate all the ghost house matters on the Qingming Festival. It should be noted that not only cannot a monument be erected in a leap month, but also the ground cannot be broken when visiting the grave.

2. The direction of the tombstone

The direction of the tombstone should be consistent with the direction of the acupoints. People know that if the direction of the tombstone is inconsistent with the direction of the acupoints in the cemetery, there may be errors. For thousands of miles, the orientation of acupuncture points is the most critical link in the Yin House and cannot be underestimated.

3. The inscription on the tombstone

Write the title first, mainly the position and occupation of the deceased during his lifetime. Some of them can be omitted. When writing the main text, the main text mainly states the title of the deceased and the name of the deceased by the person who established the monument. For example, "First examine the tomb of Mr. Wang Jun××". Finally, write a signature, which states the identity and name of the person who erected the monument. The time for erecting the monument can be written or not.

4. The font and color of the tombstone

The font should not be running script or cursive script, but should be solemn Wei stele style, official script, or regular script. The inscription on the stele must be inverted, that is, concave, not convex. At the same time, the color of the tombstone should also be selected according to the ancestors' taboos. If there are no taboos, you can choose black or white, and the font color is mostly gold.

5. The size and shape of the tombstone

It should not be too high or too short. Generally, it should be as low as the belly but not as high as the neck. Taller is not always better. A tall monument is erected in front of the cave, which presses the tomb, which is detrimental to the fortune and future of future generations. The shape of the tombstone should be rectangular and regular, not too narrow or too wide, just appropriate. If it is too short, it indicates that the offspring will be short and fat.

6. The distance between the tombstone and the tombstone

The tombstone should not be immediately adjacent to the grave. There must be enough space left. There should be a certain distance between the tombstone and the tombstone. This distance is It's called "porch". Because only in this way can "anger" circulate normally. Generally, the distance is between 0.3 meters and 2 meters. If it is too far or too close, good results will not be achieved.

In addition, how to erect a monument to commemorate it, who should participate, etc. are also particular, so I won’t go into details here.

In summary, the erection of a monument reflects the longing and remembrance of the deceased by future generations! It is also a manifestation of filial piety. In fact, there are still only a few rural people who erect monuments. However, erecting monuments is a part of the traditional culture of the ancient Chinese civilization. It fully embodies the etiquette and etiquette of the Chinese nation. We need correct analysis and inheritance.