Oral record of 20 marriages and feelings. This is the reinforcement given by Yue Lao.

Oral record of husband and wife's feelings: this is the steel bar given by Yue Lao.

0 1 Engels said th

Oral record of 20 marriages and feelings. This is the reinforcement given by Yue Lao.

Oral record of husband and wife's feelings: this is the steel bar given by Yue Lao.

0 1 Engels said that marriage without love is immoral.

I didn't believe this before 18.

18 years later, I simply adore it.

In 2002, lin li and I both reached the age of leftover men and women.

He is a designer of a graphic company, and I work as a front desk in a securities company.

Two college students from different towns, their parents have done their best to provide us with education, and the rest of the day depends on their own efforts.

We have no friends in the city. We were introduced by others.

No love, no wedding dress, everything simply goes into marriage.

Looking back now, although it was bitter, I miss it.

Li Lin is an inarticulate person, but he takes care of his family and works hard.

Many clients asked him for design, apparently treating his brain power as free labor, but he never refused.

He said that of the 65,438+000 people who come to the door to take advantage, one is always willing to pay.

He designs in the company during the day, does private work at night, and maintains websites for two companies.

In all these years, he never goes to bed before two in the morning.

In winter in Harbin, the breath turns into ice, and the heating in our rental house is very bad. His long hands were frozen into bread.

Usually, when he comes home from dinner, he sits in front of the computer for hours.

I am sorry to see him working so hard.

Fan him in summer and change his hot water bottle in winter.

There is no chance to earn extra money at work, so I have to accompany him anyway, so I will learn to weave bracelets from an online teacher.

Master is very satisfied with the bracelet I made. I make it up and she sells it, so that she can earn a handicraft fee.

After two years of marriage, my son Xu Dong was born.

We can stand the cold and hot of the rental house, but the children are too young to bear it.

So, after borrowing from the east and collecting from the west, I bought a two-bedroom apartment with a down payment.

To put it bluntly, we live in that clean house without decoration.

In the next few years, we will pay off our debts first, and then gradually add various things to our family.

It took a year and a half to lay the floor this month and install the kitchen cabinets next month, and it took more than 60 square meters to decorate the house neatly.

Our stomachs were really light at that time.

A bowl of rice and a steamed egg with minced meat is a meal.

That when conditions are good, this bite is our favorite.

After my son went to primary school, life began to get better.

Li Lin has become the chief designer of the company, and more and more people are looking for him.

His monthly commission is even higher than his salary, and we soon paid off the mortgage.

I clearly remember that on the day of paying off the loan, Li Lin broke out of the ground and drank two bottles of beer at dinner.

People who never drink are drunk after one bottle.

He ran to the bathroom and sat for nearly an hour.

My son asked me: mom, is dad okay? ?

I said, it's okay. Leave your dad alone. ?

That day, when lin li walked out of the bathroom, her eyes were red and she obviously cried.

He is not an expressive person. I am also more introverted, and I can't tell my husband that you have worked hard. If you are so emotional.

In this way, I am content to fight for my family and stay together for love.

It is said that home and everything are prosperous.

In those years, our husband and wife were twisted into a rope and bent on doing good.

Maybe it's because we came into contact with it. We work every day except work. Although there is a TV at home, we hardly turn it on.

Our son was infected by us. Every day after school, he does his homework first, we work in the evening, and he reads beside him.

Growing up, he didn't attend a cram school once, but his grades always belonged to one genus and two.

And my son is also very frugal and never wants anything. The biggest expense at ordinary times is to buy books.

To tell the truth, in those years, I opened my eyes every day and felt that this thriving life was really good.

What's more, lin li later set up his own graphic company.

We gradually got a car and a big house.

Later, Li Lin helped my parents change buildings in town.

He took his in-laws to Harbin and bought them a house nearby.

Old people on both sides have settled down, we have a house and a car, and our son is a schoolmaster. On such a day, I can laugh in my dream.

But just when I was satisfied and happy, trouble followed.

On the weekend of 2008, lin li went to the company to work overtime, and I was at home sorting out the clothes that changed seasons.

After washing the sheets all day, the balcony was covered, so I pulled a rope at home and hung it up.

Unexpectedly, Li Lin came home from work, saw this scene and said angrily: The house was built like a pigsty, and this day is for you. ?

I am very wronged: I was busy all day and didn't eat lunch. What are you talking about? ?

However, Li Lin ignored me, locked him in the study and didn't even eat dinner.

On that occasion, I had a cold war with him for nearly a month, and finally ended up with my compromise.

After reconciliation, I asked him, why is it so natural?

He didn't explain, and he was silent to me, and his face was ugly.

There is a first time for everything, and there will be a second time.

From that day on, Li Lin and I had more and more cold wars.

In-laws are the real farmers.

After entering the city, although we give living expenses every month, they still like to pick up waste products after saving their lives.

Home and corridor are always full of waste paper boxes.

Once Li Lin goes, he quarrels with them once.

As soon as he threw the waste and turned around, his in-laws picked it up as quickly as holding a baby.

Every time, I will persuade Li Lin to let the old man.

He kept silent in front of his in-laws, but as soon as he got home, he began to yell at me: if you talk to them again, you will move in with them. ?

10 These things have nothing to do with principles. Although I would be angry, I didn't take it to heart.

Besides being introverted and dull, Li Lin is also a family-oriented man.

Even now he is manager Li. But I still work until the early hours of the morning to buy him clothes, and I never pay attention to any famous brands and grades.

Eating is as simple as before.

However, this time, he really hurt me

On that day, my colleagues and I set up a fitness card near our work unit.

We have an appointment to go to the gym during lunch break every day. To this end, I also bought fitness clothes online.

As a result, Li Lin saw it when I tried it on at home.

He asked me: Do you wear such tight clothes for fitness or to be a bitch? ?

I didn't expect him to say such vicious and vulgar words.

On that day, I felt that I didn't know Li Lin.

His expression of disgust and disgust showed a trace of pain that he could hardly bear to look me in the eye.

It seems that I am not going to exercise, but to sell myself.

1 1 This time, I chose to have a cold war with him.

For a whole month and a half, I didn't say a word to him or wash a dress for him.

I ignored him, and he ignored me.

During the period, I had a cold and diarrhea for a week. I thought taking some medicine would make me better.

But on the seventh night, when I got up to go to the toilet, I fell to the floor.

I struggled to reach for my mobile phone and called Li Lin who was sleeping in the other room.

He was still working, so he picked up my phone and asked, "What are you calling?" Is it unbearable loneliness? ?

My heart, instantly cold.

But the desire to survive still made me show weakness to him: I have a stomachache and can't get up. Please take me to the hospital. ?

That night, after I recovered a little, Li Lin said something that completely chilled me: If you really have backbone, come to the hospital yourself. ?

12 I can't figure out why two couples who came out of trouble gnashed their teeth to such an extent.

I finally look forward to a better day, but it is getting colder and colder.

A wave of unrest, another wave.

I bought a microwave oven at home that day and poured a carton.

I gave it to my uncle across the hall with the waste paper and beverage bottles at home.

We have been getting along well since we moved here for three years.

That uncle is also used to living in poverty, sometimes picking up waste in the trash can of the community and selling some change.

Unexpectedly, Li Lin called the property as soon as she entered the door.

He scolded the property manager like a grandson, and then reported the building number to let the property come up and clean up all the garbage left at the entrance of the building.

I asked him: as for it? The old couple can't be idle when they go to town. Why do you pick up things to sell? ?

Looking at it again, Li Lin's face was deformed with anger.

The house I spent millions on is used to pile up garbage for them? ?

People shit at your door, and you give them toilet paper. ?

Li Lin was unbelievable that day.

After letting the property clean up the garbage, he drove directly to his in-laws' house.

It is said that all you have to do is throw away your in-laws' luggage.

My mother-in-law called me: Come on, Li Lin is crazy. ?

After I arrived, I heard Li Lin still swearing: people like you have a good life, but you have to live so cheaply that even I feel ashamed of you. If you pick up anything again, go back to the countryside. ?

13 in any case, I didn't expect to have the hardest day and it will be even harder.

How a person faces suffering can show his will.

How to face the prosperity to see his pattern.

I realize more and more clearly that Li Lin doesn't love me. Maybe he doesn't even love himself.

He has no friends, hobbies or even material requirements.

He is a man who has no love at all. When he became rich, he changed beyond recognition.

After the 14 incident, we fell back into the cold war.

I thought of divorce.

My son is a freshman, which is my only hesitation.

Countless sleepless nights, I will recall past lives with Li Lin.

Yes, there is no love between us.

Even when I was poor, I thought I would have feelings.

As it turns out, it's just my own hand.

Marriage without love is indeed immoral.

He can treat me like a stranger, cold violence, slut humiliation?

15 Who would have thought that I would divorce Li Lin, but he was looking at the villa.

When I don't talk to him, he tells his son how much money he wants to show his strength in this way.

But I know, what if the house is bigger? Just a cold war for a bigger house.

That day, Li Lin forced me to drive to see the house.

He has even thought about how to decorate and design when he buys it.

His study, my cloakroom and my son's bookcase?

I said to him: Li Lin, let's divorce when our son goes to college. ?

This angered him at once.

He stood in the villa and began to get angry: I knew you were a restless woman, and you women didn't have a good thing. ?

Ha ha! Good familiar tone.

In these years, have I slept before 12 am for this family? Are you blind? ?

In those years, in order to get a job, I bowed to everyone like my grandson every day. Have you ever tasted that smell? ?

You don't pity me, and neither do my parents. You all think you deserve it. You are all baiwenhang. ?

At that time, I had to kneel down and ask them for tuition. Now, I don't care about them, let them become city people. As a result, when they come to the city, they still live like beggars without any dignity. ?

I really want to die when I see the mess you've made at home. There is no hope at all these days. ?

16 that day, lin li completely released himself.

First he accused, then he abused.

Those swearing words and all kinds of foul language make you never think that he is a highly educated person.

I thought that after so many years of struggle, I should have accumulated countless kindness.

But I don't want to. In his mind, there are endless old scores. He lives more unfairly than Dou E every day.

In those years when he struggled to survive, he had no time to be wronged.

But when the days are getting better and better, those hardships come to you.

So, I, who was closest to him, became the only transformer of his bitter life.

I began to understand that people like him can't live a good life.

17 finally, for the sake of my son, lin li and I did not divorce, but separated.

He began to believe in Buddhism and listened to Buddhist scriptures while working every day, but this did not affect his mood.

Every time he comes back from his parents' home, he becomes very upset.

At this time, whatever I say will become cannon fodder.

For example, I said, son, ask your father to eat. ?

He would say: you don't grow up? Can't you see I'm busy?

Bang, bang, bang.

18 Later, due to severe insomnia and anxiety, I began to see a psychologist.

After listening to my story, the doctor said, I suggest you come to psychological counseling with your lover. ?

In my words, she is roughly a psychological portrait of lin li: it is difficult for people to say goodbye to their origins. Although your husband is very successful, psychologically, he is still the little boy from a poor family who has not gained love and self-esteem. It is even possible that he witnessed the emotional betrayal of the adult world at an early age.

She said: people like him dare not enjoy life, or even pursue happiness, because they feel unworthy. ?

The doctor wrote a sentence in my diagnosis and treatment book: true love is the will to promote the maturity of oneself and others, constantly expand the boundaries of self and realize self-realization? Scott. Puckle.

She also asked me: Do you have such a will? Are you willing to let him follow in your footsteps and find true love with such a will? ?

I nodded hard.

Yes, I do. I don't want to lose Li Lin, let alone this family.

I heard these words well in heart-to-heart conversations again and again.

It solved many puzzles in my heart and made me less angry, hurt and anxious.

In those days, my heart was undergoing drastic changes and growth.

In recent years, Li Lindou and I have been busy with our lives. We have walked too fast, too fast, and the soul can't keep up.

Facts have proved that life without love is no matter how good it is, it is hard to be happy.

So, I thought and thought, waiting for the little boy who stumbled all the way and was full of grievances and humiliation.

If he is willing to receive counseling and try to change, then I am willing to start over with him.

Just like just entering marriage, to grow, to change, and even to fall in love, to find real joys and sorrows.

Of course, if he doesn't want to change, we'll have to divorce.

So, no matter what, I will give each other a chance.

Even if you lose, you should take it orally and be convinced, and have no regrets.