Let's help find some jokes worth playing.

2. Kill the bird man, I am an angel!

3. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

Live well, because we will die for a long time! !

We should keep quiet when listening to lectures in church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

My girlfriend asked me what would happen to me if she died, and I firmly said: I won't live alone (find another job). ..

7. People are not smart and bald.

8. You are the electricity, Li Siguang, and you are the only myth!

9. I always wander between cow A and cow C.

10. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you? !

1 1. When weeding in the afternoon, bow and shoot the eagle.

12. The hair becomes straight and the scalp is more prominent.

13. Don't ask me anything, and don't ask me anything.

14. It is better to fight with a smart person than to talk to someone.

15. Older women can't live without electricity for a day, and younger women can't live without money for a day.

16. The garden couldn't be closed in spring, so I lured an apricot out of the fence.

17. No one has died since ancient times, and you don't need paper to shit!

18. The greatness of life disappears in the flowers.

19. Women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.

20. Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play the sadness of Lao Tzu!

2 1. Zhuge Liang didn't take a single soldier before coming out of the mountain. What work experience do you want me to have? !

22. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

23. As long as the hoe jumps well, there is no corner that can't be dug down!

24. You don't have to study hard or review well.

The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

I don't know if I went to college or if college fucked me.

27. The more money you spend, the closer you are to the bed.

28. If you want to mix in the Jianghu, you'd better be single.

29. It's a manhole plug and a manhole socket.

30. Choose a lady, the skirt is easy to pull.

3 1. Everything will be fine, and all shall be well.

32. I am Jesus, his son, Coconut! !

33. University is learning.

34. I have a left Qinglong, a right White Tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

35. If BMW doesn't touch me, MSN will touch you to death.

36. Other people's money and wealth are my property.

I am the most honest person, and I never lie, except this sentence.

Lingling, Lingling, another ice cream.

39. Eldest brother, I heard that second brother's meat is more expensive than master's.

40. I hope that one day I can double-click my wallet with my mouse, then select a circle of 100, hold down ctrl-c and then CTRL-V.

4 1. Professor talks about organic chemical polymers on the platform. He first drew a "peptide bond" on the blackboard and said to everyone, "This is the eunuch. Let's give him a" methyl ".Pour! !

42. Bald donkey, dare to challenge the original class teacher! !

43. The inner beauty that men say refers to the inside of the bra, not the inside.

44. It is gold, and it will always be spent. ..

45. Who can stop filming for 90 minutes? .. Chinese national football team! !

46. Handsome men are useful. Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

47. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years.

48. A woman said to a man, Come to my house and I'll give you something to eat.

49. It's not that you don't laugh, but the powder falls off when you laugh.

50. Tall is tall, straw bag, short is short, can stand and step, thin is thin and muscular.

5 1. Only women and English are sad, and jobs and wives are hard to find.

52. It's not difficult to drive, and I'm afraid there will be new people.

I heard that women are clothes and brothers are brothers. In retrospect, I have been streaking in too many chefs for more than 20 years.

The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke.

I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

56. Today, a group of Japanese visited our school. To tell the truth, this is the first time I have seen a Japanese in clothes.

After studying for more than ten years, I still feel that kindergarten is easy to mix.

1 Dishonest eating when I was a child. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me: 60 years of hard work, no food to eat, no snot and feces to throw away.

There is a rich man looking for a servant. The topic of the interview is going to the toilet. The first few came out without washing their hands. So the rich man sent them away, and only one person washed his hands, so the rich man left him. But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out. The rich man asked him why. The servant replied, I brought toilet paper today. ...

A man saw a store having a big sale and went in. What can I do for you? "I want to buy dog food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale." The man and the salesman were grinding for a long time, but the salesman still refused to sell them to him. There is no way. The man had to go home and bring the dog before buying dog food. A few days later, the man went to this store to buy cat food. "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have a rule that you must prove that you have a cat." It's still the same salesman. The man has been dawdling with her for a long time, but he still wants to go home and get the cat. ""Just put your hand in. The salesman put his hand in: "What is this?" Very sticky. "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper. "

A man took his friend to visit his grandmother. While he was talking to his grandmother, his friends began to eat peanuts on the coffee table and ate them all. When they left, his friend said to his grandmother, "Thank you for the peanuts." Grandma replied, "Oh! Hmm! Alas! Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. I am old, cough. ...

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him it was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" "He asked Mr Disappointed, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. "The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. This gentleman has eaten almost all his dishes, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to that one. "The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. After a while, he swallowed half of it. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole. After a while of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said. I was like this ... "

On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the lobby. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" "The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why does the beggar want toothpicks instead of rice now? I gave him one and sent it away. Soon, another beggar came. The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too? ""The beggar said, "Someone threw up, but I was late. The first two beggars ate everything I could, and now there is only soup left. Can you give me a straw?

7. Boss, the second child is flying, and the second child is airsick and has been vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half a bag and throw up."

8. One day, Big Brother and Second Brother went to the theatre again, and when they saw that they were arguing about the development of the plot, they made a bet. The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser wants to have a taste of what just happened." Unfortunately, eldest brother lost and took a sip with a frown. The two went on to bet on the following story. This time, the second brother lost. I saw my second brother pick up the spittoon and slurp. "The second one shook his head." No, I want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon was so thick that I really bit it. ......