Qin Hao shed tears because her daughter was bullied: kindness is a choice, and children's initial "evil" is instinct. what do you think?

In Mother-in-law and Mother, Yi Nengjing talked about her daughter Mi Li being bullied at school. At first, she was beaten by a boy. Mimi told the teacher that the teacher made the boy apologize. Later, the boy hit her intentionally or unintentionally every day.

At this time, Yi Nengjing's mother-in-law said, "All children, children."

Qin Hao spoke at this moment and said, "They are not playing. She sent me a video last time. In the dance class, there is a small circle in front of each child, and the rice is standing there. Then the little boy came to milk the rice. "

Yi Nengjing continued, "No, he pushed the rice against the wall. Mom, do you know how much is enough? " After the boys stood in her circle, they pushed her to the back. It was all so crowded. She didn't push anyone, so she was really pushed to the wall and waved to me there. "

Qin Hao suddenly felt emotion and covered his face with his hand: "Stop it, it makes me uncomfortable."

Yi Nengjing said that Qin Hao is usually a straight man, but she still sees his regret.

In a later interview, Qin Hao talked about her daughter in a soft tone. She said that her daughter is very kind and likes to make friends with people wherever she goes. When others rejected her, her expression made her feel distressed.

So when my daughter meets such a thing at school, I think he, as a father, also has a lot of helplessness and sadness.

After reading it, what impressed me was probably what Yi Nengjing's mother-in-law said: "All children, children."

This sentence is, of course, for the little boy.

Obviously, in the eyes of elders, when they hear such a thing, they will subconsciously think that it is just a joke between children and don't have to take it seriously.

When doing something wrong, it is really a kind of self-deception to say "he is still a child", and how many parents use this sentence to find reasons for their children.

Don't do it with little evil, and don't do it with little good. The younger the children are, the more we should educate them about the right and wrong of good and evil, and we must educate them when we educate them.

02

Some children, you really can't ignore their education and guidance just because they are young. It is precisely because of his young age that children are good and pure, but evil and pure.

Because they haven't formed their own worldview, they don't understand good and evil, and they won't understand whether what they are doing is right or wrong without the guidance of adults.

Children are simple and realistic.

As an adult, you can also cover up your inner evil. A child may give the greatest kindness to others or impose the greatest malice on an innocent person.

These may all be unconscious.

I want to talk about the children of a distant relative in my family.

The child is a boy, and now he is over six years old. He is particularly naughty and disobedient, that is, he doesn't listen to his elders at all.

Anyway, many adults in the family don't like him, saying that he is too ignorant.

For example, during the Spring Festival, when a large family got together, he suddenly ran over, kicked the stool of an elder who had just stood up far away, and then ran away.

Other adults criticized him, saying that he was wrong and asked him to pick up the stool. As a result, he kicked the stool farther, then made a face and said, "Then hit me!" " "

He thinks this is an interesting thing.

He is just as naughty at school. Today he sprinkles paint on this classmate, and tomorrow he will tear up that classmate's notebook, or he will make trouble in class and talk there without listening to the teacher.

Anyway, I am often called a parent.

His mother dotes on him, even if he is reasonable, he has no dignity at all. Even if it is his fault, as long as he cries, his mother will say, "Don't cry, what kind of mother do you want to buy for you?"

I think his character was formed from childhood and accumulated from small things.

An elder once said that telling mothers not to spoil their children so much would spoil them. As a mother, she believes that "he is still young and will be sensible when he grows up."

And she thinks her son is very obedient.

03

Will children be sensible when they grow up?

How is that possible?

If a child's growth process is compared to a tree, if the tree grows crooked at the beginning, it will continue to grow on the basis of its original inclination as it grows longer.

The tree has grown tall, but at this time, it will be difficult for you to get it back to its original straight state.

There are always many adults who are used to treating their children with the view that "children are unscrupulous" and "children are innocent", and then adding a filter to their "evil" behavior.

I once met a child who started swearing when he was less than four years old, and his adults still thought it was nothing.

Children naturally learn swearing from adults at home.

Because his father often says that at home.

When he first said it, he was less than two years old. Adults sound like "my son is great". They didn't realize the seriousness of this matter at all, but took the child's swearing as a very fun thing.

So, he didn't change it later.

And he knows it's abuse. Whenever someone makes him angry, he will say it, and it is also in that vicious tone.

This is pure imitation at first, but what if the child grows up again?

Every child will imitate the words and deeds of the adults at home when he begins to babble, which is very curious to them.

They don't know, they shouldn't say that, they just see adults saying it, so they will say it's an imitation.

This is why we say that family is the first classroom for children's education, and parents are the best teachers.

What they send is the fastest way for children to receive world information, and they will gradually approach their own personality and way of speaking in this respect.

Children's words and deeds are beyond your imagination.

04

My sister told me something.

She said that when the baby was more than two years old, he actually saw grandpa's position in the family and applied it to practice.

For example, if grandma changes the channel of her cartoon, she will agree. But if her grandfather changed, she wouldn't agree. She would learn from her grandmother and talk to her grandfather.

Why?

Because her grandfather changed the channel twice before, her grandmother scolded her grandfather, saying that she was an adult and a child robbing the TV, and then her grandfather changed the channel back.

She found this out, and then her grandfather changed the channel. She knew that either she would cry, her grandmother would take care of it, or she would learn from her grandmother's curses.

Her grandmother sometimes deliberately asks her, "How did grandma scold grandpa?"

She just thinks it's fun for children to imitate.

Moreover, she began to expand this behavior. For example, when eating, what she can't finish will not be put in other people's bowls, but only in her grandfather's bowl.

There has always been a debate about two theories: "Nature is good at the beginning of life" or "inherent vice at the beginning of life".

I used to think that everyone was a blank sheet of paper and was born with kindness. But then I gradually discovered that in fact, in many cases, kindness is a choice, and children's initial "evil" is instinct.

Bullying the weak, for example, is actually something many children did when they were young.

Because people's instinct is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages and protect themselves.

My sister usually goes to work, and the children are handed over to her parents-in-law, only on weekends.

One weekend she was at home and found the baby like this. I told her at that time, and grandma still cared, saying that she was so young and not sensible. Stop talking about her, my sister is speechless.

When sleeping at night, my sister continued to teach her to know how to share, to respect her elders and not to steal grandpa's TV. Now that she is over three years old, she will take the initiative to ask her grandfather, "Will you watch it for a while and show it to the baby for a while?"

Especially when she imitated grandma's dirty words, my sister slapped her twice to change it. Now she can't learn even if she is told to. She said: "Mom can fight, but children can't swear."

There are still many small problems. For example, she had food at first and didn't give it to others. She said if she ate it, she would lose it. My sister has taught her for a while, and now she will take the initiative to share.

A person's character must be formed from an early age, not what he suddenly becomes when he grows up.

Therefore, don't indulge your child's "little evil". Once left unchecked, the older you grow, the harder it is to change. Because this process of growth may be the process of constantly strengthening this "little evil", and finally it is irreparable. Who can blame?