The custom of worshiping children and relatives in rural areas

Marriage is an extremely important event in life, which is related to the happiness and contentment of a person's life. From ancient times to the present, special attention has been paid to wedding customs and habits in hometowns. Love between husband and wife, prosperous children and grandchildren, and a happy life are the common wishes that people have long dreamed of. For thousands of years, people have combined the wish for blessings in life with the customs and psychology of belief, forming a variety of marriage customs. Different ethnic groups and different regions have different characteristics. The "six rituals" formulated for weddings in the past have always played a leading role in the evolution of weddings in our country's past dynasties. Even in today's new socialist countryside, some of them are still passed down and used. The various marriage customs preserved in my hometown are the inheritance and variation of ancient marriage customs. Now I am a veteran. When I got married, I wanted to get rid of old customs, establish new trends, and build socialist spiritual civilization, but it didn't work. It probably can't be changed. There are many wedding festivals in my hometown now:

(1) Blind date (in the countryside, people leave a message now, but if you are in free love, you don’t need this part)

This is a marriage between a man and a woman The beginning of a relationship. In the past, under the constraints of feudal ethics that "men and women are not allowed to be intimate", young men and women were not allowed to interact at will during the unmarried period. Coupled with the sectarian views at that time, it was naturally very difficult to get married. Nowadays, it is introduced through a matchmaker (an ancient term, now called an "introducer"), and the woman goes to the man's house to have a look (some men go to the woman's house, but it's a small matter) and then the marriage can basically be settled (to be honest, that's it) Two people meet and decide how they feel.) The introducer here not only plays the role of "threading the needle", but also has the function of a marriage witness, which is completely necessary not only in the past but also today.

"Blind date" is an action taken by a man and a woman to propose marriage to each other after they fall in love with each other's children. Often the parents of one party ask a matchmaker to propose marriage for their children to the parents of the other party. During the activities of the matchmaker proposing marriage for both parties, there are few taboos other than entertaining wine and meals. For certain needs, there are also people who bribe matchmakers with large sums of money, and their purpose is nothing more than to ask the matchmakers to help them, say a few more good words for their children, and achieve the goal of a perfect match. (Now I feel that blind dates are not good. The two of them just fell in love based on their feelings. They don’t know each other’s personalities well. I heard many colleagues say that when they go home for blind dates, they always fail to get along. The reason is that people can... If the home mirror is not good, people may feel that the home mirror is not worthy of themselves).

(2) Engagement is a key ritual in the wedding, and it is also an effective measure taken by both men and women in fear that the other party will annul the marriage. Its function is equivalent to obtaining a "marriage certificate" today. In the past, when you got engaged, you just said that your marriage would be successful only 90% of the time. Now the etiquette for getting engaged is that the man confirms the date (of course, he has to ask someone who knows the date to check it) and informs the introducer and the woman’s family, and then the man’s family starts Prepare to deposit money, "Bao Gong" (now it's a pound of sugar and red dates) and human love meat (however young, the introducer of human love meat and "Bao Gong" should ask the parents of the girl's family) and the groom's family should invite the groom's relatives and Leader Murakami, the groom’s family will hold a banquet on the day of the engagement. The etiquette on the day of engagement is that in the morning, the groom's family and the matchmaker will send the prepared human flesh, "Bao Gong" and the deposited money to the woman's house, and then pick up the woman's parents to come to the man's house (the members of the woman's family who go to the southern family on that day should be Well, usually the woman's father and brother or younger brother and the man will set off firecrackers to express a warm welcome when the woman arrives. Next, there is a meal. After the meal, there is a grand ceremony of calling for tea, and a woman from the man's family will take the woman. Bring sugar water to the man's relatives and village leaders. After drinking the sugar water, they will give money, commonly known as tea money. Then the parents of both parties will give speeches, and the introducer and village leaders will also speak (mostly to encourage and mention both men and women). Some requirements) Finally, the man sends the woman and the woman to send their relatives and introducers clothes, cloth, money, and firecrackers to express a warm farewell.

The male party will also go, and a banquet will be held at the girl’s house at night (it’s a little difficult to break off the engagement after you’re engaged. As the old saying goes, a cup of tea should be treated as a cup of wine)

(3) To send a "date"

First, the groom's family decides on an auspicious date, and then asks a matchmaker to go to the bride's family to negotiate and determine the wedding date. Write the four words "predict the wedding date" on the completed rectangular envelope, write the date of the wedding in the envelope, and purchase the necessary betrothal gifts according to the gift list provided by the woman (the current betrothal gifts are money and wedding candies) and send them along with the betrothal gifts. Avoid wearing trousers. They think trousers are unclean. They call trousers "lowers". Putting trousers on is an insult to their clan. The girl's parents hold a banquet to entertain the matchmaker, which is meant as a reward. (On the day of giving away the day, the man will set off firecrackers and go to the woman’s house to tell the woman’s neighbors about the day. The woman’s neighbors will know to “pretend to be married”. In the past, it was to pretend to be a gift, but now it is mostly to pretend to be money (the better ones usually cost a hundred Many, the average neighbor is like 40 yuan. I can only say that it is like this in my hometown)

(4) Qi Media

This is where both men and women seek help before getting married. A matchmaker's act. The groom should bring a red envelope (the price is 400 in the countryside now) and three pounds of meat (in the old days, it was three pounds of meat, a pair of red envelopes, cloth, socks, handkerchiefs, etc.) to the matchmaker in the afternoon before the wedding. At home, the matchmaker is invited to have dinner at the groom's house and a sumptuous banquet is hosted. The matchmaker sits at the head of the house and the groom's elders "accompany the matchmaker" to express respect and gratitude to the matchmaker. In addition to the above-mentioned gifts, the bride's family should also give her a matchmaker. Add cloth shoes to reward him for breaking his shoes during the marriage.

(5) Wedding

(The bride must "open her face" with taro before getting married. The hair on the bride's head is rolled up, and some people even pull off part of their eyebrows to distinguish married from unmarried. This is an old practice, but it is no longer popular now.) The bride's parents and immediate family members have to "make a box" for the bride the night before. ". Put money in the four corners and center of the bride's suitcase. The amount of money should be in pairs. After the suitcase is filled with fabrics, shoes, socks, hand towels and other items are placed on it. After arriving at her husband's house, the bride should ask her mother-in-law to open the suitcase and count it. After watching the bride's "disposal", lock the suitcase and give the key to the bride for safekeeping. At the same time, take away the shoes, handkerchiefs and other items prepared by the new wife in the suitcase and put a red envelope in it.

The mother, aunts, brothers, sisters, and uncles are commonly known as high relatives. If the father does not send his daughter off, he will not go with his son-in-law to his home until he returns. After the bridegroom goes to the bridegroom’s house, he must wash his hands and face, which is commonly known as “washing the dust”, and at the same time give a “reward” to the person who poured the water. Nowadays, in the countryside, it is customary for the man to bring an odd number of people to the bridegroom’s house (but 16 is not allowed). In the countryside, it is said that 16 is unlucky, and it is said that 16 people carry the dead person up the mountain (it is not popular now to have a homecoming wine, it is usually a wedding wine, and the groom's wedding team rushes to the woman's house for breakfast on the day of the wedding). There are also many etiquettes. If someone serves food or wine to the groom during the dinner, the groom will give a red envelope.

(6) Welcome

It is the groom who goes to the bride’s house to greet the bride. The ceremony is an important part of the wedding. On the day, the man carries pigs, sheep, geese, fish, and chickens to the bride's house on five poles, which are more decent. After the ceremony, the five animals and the big bars should be painted red to show good luck. At the same time, a table of sacrificial dishes specially used for the bride's family should be brought, including chicken (for dawn), fish (for surplus), pork belly (for reunion), bamboo shoots (for nobleness), and vermicelli (for heart). There are eight bowls, including Ci, Huanghua (Consistence), Meat Dumpling (Harmony), Cake (Unity), etc., and they all come in pairs. Now in my hometown, there are ten bowls, and the bottom is covered with rice, and there are also a pair of red wine bottles. They leave with two bottles of wine and come back with a bottle of wine and a bottle of water. They also have a dough figure made of gray flour and cooked eggs, which is either called the Old Man under the Moon or the Antarctic Immortal. It has auspicious meanings such as longevity and longevity. After arriving at the girl's house, the gift must be seen by the girl's parents before being removed. At this time, the girl's parents prepare a simple banquet to entertain the dissenters. When the hecklers came back, they also carried away the bride's dowry. If there are not enough people, the bride's family will ask another giftee to carry the package, and each person will have a package. The package of Lifu who chooses the foot basin toilet is a little "heavy".

(7) Visit

After the bride arrives at the groom’s house, the bridesmaid will help the bride to sit in the new house, which is called "getting married". When worshiping in the hall, there are rituals and rituals, commonly known as "temple greetings". The bride and groom kowtow to their ancestors, and then bow to their ancestors, Weng Gu, and their close relatives, Yue Lao, and then both husband and wife bow to each other.

Finally, relatives, friends and other elders must meet each other in order of generation, commonly known as "meeting ceremony". The person receiving the gift throws the envelope into the red felt, which is called "meeting ceremony". When entering the bridal chamber, a pair of boys lighting candles Holding the red candle of Double Happiness, the bride and groom entered the bridal chamber side by side holding the red felt in hand. It is taboo for the bride to step on the threshold. For example, if she steps on the threshold of the hall, she will put pressure on her mother, and if she steps on the threshold of the new house, she will put pressure on her husband. After entering the new house, both of them sit on their gums and drink cups of sugar water to express their love for each other, just like sugar water. At this time, someone praised the bed. The words of praise are: "My feet are busy, I walked into the new house, dear to my mother, please let me praise the bed. The bridal chamber is fully furnished. There are golden chairs on both sides, an ivory bed in the middle, and a pair of mandarin ducks on the ivory bed." A pair, a pair of ivories, dates praise the bed, sons will be born early, five good boys will be born, and a pair of good girls will be born, as long as eternity lasts, as long as eternity lasts, and we will grow old together and be prosperous for eternity."

(8) Banquet guests

Setting with guests is a task that cannot be ignored in a wedding. Due to the influence of thousands of years of seniority concepts, especially senior relatives pay great attention to where they sit. . If it is not done well, it may lead to unhappy separation or even discord among relatives. A banquet table is placed in the new house for the reunion dinner. The bride and groom sit opposite each other, and the guests are friends of both parties. The bride and groom each hold a chicken drumstick, and then exchange bites to express mutual respect and love. The hall is divided into two rows for banquets, the larger one is on the right after entering the door, and the second row is on the left. The upper part is divided into four seats: 1, 3, 2 and 4. The first one on the right is the woman's senior relative, the third right is the mother's elder companion, the second left is Yue Lao (the matchmaker) and the fourth left is the clan member. During the banquet, the groom's elders take the bride and groom to the banquet respectively to salute and bring cigarettes, candies and other food. After the salute, the elders said, "The house is small and the reception is not good, but the relatives and friends are very considerate." The rules of the banquet are stricter when the senior relative is seated. The table should be square and stable. Don't use waste to step on the feet. Putting on straw shoes is an allusion to the senior relative eating grass. Placing tile scraps is a slap on the relative's family. The chopsticks in front of the senior relative should be placed neatly, and the bowl should not be chipped. Otherwise, it would be disrespectful to the senior relative. At this time, the senior relative would not sit down and even leave angrily.

(9) Making a new house

There are many tricks in making a new house, and it is also very lively. Some perform sit-down performances without makeup, and are played by a band. "Qiao", "Seven Sisters Descend to Earth", "October Pregnancy" and other costume dramas about love and marriage, and eating climbing candy. In addition, there is also the practice of calling the groom's parents into the new house to "put on a robe, a bamboo hat, tie the shoes, blow a fire torch, and paint them black and red." These bad habits have now begun to disappear.

(10) Returning home

The first day after the wedding is the "returning home" day. The groom should buy gifts such as clothing, candies, fish, meat and so on, and accompany the bride back to her parents' home. . The bride's relatives also go home with her. When the bride returns home, her parents' family will prepare a homecoming reception. The groom will sit at the head of the wedding ceremony. This is the most respected moment in the groom's life in his family.

(Eleventh) Wedding meeting

It is an effective form for the relatives of both men and women to get to know each other comprehensively. It is meant to start a relationship and facilitate future exchanges. The men and women hold a meeting and drink together.

(Twelve) Full Moon Tea

On the first day after a month of marriage, the bride’s family prepares a broom and a pound of tea (the broom represents the bride’s hard work and love of hygiene, and the tea One kilogram, which means green tea and green water symbolizes the bride’s hospitality,) and gifts such as candies, fish and meat, are sent to the groom’s family, and the groom’s family asks for a “basket” in return, commonly known as a “return gift”.

With the continuous development of society and the continuous improvement of people's scientific and cultural level, my country's wedding customs have gradually evolved into a new custom of cutting out the complex and simplifying it, and frugally organize weddings. A new social trend is taking shape, but it cannot be It is denied that in the vast rural areas, especially in remote minority areas, some old marriage customs, especially some feudal superstitions, still continue to be retained. As society continues to develop, new wedding customs will bloom frequently like a bright flower.