How to deal with children's rebellious period

Question 1: How to treat rebellious children entering family education is not for other reasons, but to find this "secret weapon". (Gu Xiaoming) In life, we can often see such a phenomenon: A. Parents: "Children are very sensible and smart when they are in primary school, and they do whatever they are told. I have been a different person since I entered junior high school. I always say I nag, but if I say one more word, I'll get bored and slam the door and leave. I have been locked in my room all this time, blocking the door, and I don't know what to do. On Sunday, I was called away by several boys and girls without breakfast. I asked what I had done, but I said nothing. I have done so much for her and I still don't appreciate it. " B, parents: "War" finally broke out this morning. The husband beat his son with a belt, but the change of his son really broke our hearts. This semester, due to the decline in grades and the increase in adolescent rebellious temper, he won't listen to anything you tell him. It's really a carrot and stick. During this time, I have to wake up several times in the morning, but there is no response. According to his sleep, I can't believe I won't go to school today. I am really depressed and sad! I raised him 14 years, and today I actually said such a thing. Please help me think about it. How did adolescent children become like this? I am really a failure as a parent. C. Parents: My daughter is crazy recently. The room is full of photos of the singer. Eating, walking and even sleeping are all songs of her singer. Parents are anxious when they talk to you, and ignore you when they talk to you for two sentences. I can't help it The child is too big to control. Let him go. D, student Zhang, soon after he entered middle school, his parents found that his child had suddenly changed, dyed his hair red, and all the clothes his mother sold were * * *, and he made some new and strange clothes himself. No matter what their parents say, they put on a smug and disapproving look, which makes their parents angry to death. Chen Mou, male, age 13, a junior one student. When I entered school, my academic performance was above average, my personality was stubborn, rigid, my self-esteem was extremely high, and my rebellious mentality was very serious. There are often contradictions and conflicts with teachers, and the resistance is very strong. The more you object to something, the more he objects to you. At school, his rebellious behavior was very sharp. Whenever the teacher criticized him, he looked straight at the teacher, looked unconvinced, and even talked back to the teacher. I like to interrupt others to show my ability in class, and I like to get into a dead end. Let's take a look at the students' voices (student composition): "Youth is a flower season. We bid farewell to childhood and become young teenagers.

Youth, in imagination, should be full of vitality and sunshine, but Shanshan's late adolescence brings loneliness and independence, and our vitality is even more rebellious in the sunshine.

The rebellion of youth is terrible.

When we enter adolescence, we think we know everything, and we are eager to arrange our lives independently and have our own space. However, parents' excessive intervention and nagging will always make us bored, even if parents remind us more, it is also a kind of verbosity. With the growth of age, our psychology is constantly changing, and many secrets have accumulated in our hearts. We need to find a "who" to tell. Who will this "who" be? I want to tell my parents, but I don't want to be near them. I think they are old-fashioned and backward and can't understand us. I want to find a friend, but I don't know if my friend will betray me or think I talk too much. I want to write it in my diary, but I'm worried about my parents peeping. Although the law expressly prohibits peeping into other people's privacy, my parents are elders and guardians, and my small arms can't twist my thighs! I am full of contradictions, because I can't find someone to talk to, I gradually close myself and rarely communicate with others. Often because of a little impulse, I am angry with others, so I am more depressed and more world-weary! Analysis: From the above cases, we can't see that most children show a rebellious phenomenon in adolescence. After the child enters adolescence, the obedient girl and darling somehow become like an inverted donkey with her head up. Rebellious psychology often makes children look like hedgehogs with thorns, and many places are increasingly annoying to parents. However, if parents are eager to "pull out the thorns and encourage them", they will not only be unable to pull out the thorns, but also make the relationship between the two generations tense. Educating adolescent rebellious children is a very difficult thing. Parents' comments about the church are ignored by children, and beating and cursing is even worse. Beating and cursing can only aggravate children's confrontational mood and rebellious psychology. Some parents say that simply letting it go is dangerous. Because children's personality and opinions are still immature, if they are not restrained, it is difficult to ensure that they will not have behavioral deviations or even go astray. Is adolescence really that terrible? We should also see this often ... >>

Question 2: How do parents treat rebellious children? It's not necessarily a bad thing for children to disobey. It is not necessarily a good thing for children to be too obedient. People who have their own opinions on things are generally smart children who are disobedient. If you insist on making your children completely obedient, one thing is certain: your children will never surpass you. The reason why a rebellious teenager is rebellious is that he has no goal in life and has not cultivated a good character and integrity. These teenagers need inspirational education and character building most. We can't treat the symptoms rather than the root cause. To solve the problem fundamentally, we must receive a certain amount of expert counseling and education, so that he can set up a correct and ambitious life goal and pursue his problems. There are very successful short-term and long-term training courses in the United States to help solve various problems of teenagers. You can read the articles reprinted in my Weibo, or you can introduce the Chinese website of the school for details. Weibo's name means the same as knowing it.

You can also try a short-term inspirational summer camp. If you want details, you can ask me. I can provide details. If your child's English is not good, there will be a bilingual tutor.

The best way for children is to encourage them. Criticism is the biggest enemy of children's self-confidence. Try to emphasize the child's advantages and ignore his shortcomings, and the child's self-confidence will be improved. China parents should learn from American parents. China's parents give priority to criticism, while American parents give priority to praise. Therefore, American children have stronger self-confidence than China children.

Children must be encouraged to make progress and do better. Children who grow up with encouragement are full of confidence and keep making progress. I want to learn to be a parent who applauds my children.

Don't rush no matter whether your grades are good or bad. Encourage and trust children to do well, and children will do well. Let children know that it is his responsibility to read good books, not the responsibility of parents. The future and life belong to the children themselves. No matter how much parents love their children, they can't take the place of their children in their lives. Tell him that those who study well and those who don't study well will come to the social hierarchy. Tell him you have 100% confidence in him. If he studies hard, he will get excellent grades. Don't rush him to make his own arrangements. If you especially urge him, just

The children will think that learning is your business. Even if he did it under your supervision, he thought he was studying for you, not for himself. Then once he loses your supervision, he won't study. Can you supervise him for life?

Believe in children and praise them constantly.

It is often said: Son, I am glad to see that you have been studying hard. I hope to make persistent efforts and make further progress. You have great potential. Give full play to it. You're great.

This school in America, which guides young people to reform, is very successful. When the daughter 16 years old, the problem is very serious. She doesn't study or study at all. I sent her to this school, 18 months, and she became a new person completely. Now he has become a practicing doctor in America and opened his own clinic. This school now has bilingual teachers who welcome students from China. If you are interested, please let me provide you with detailed information.

Question 3: How to deal with children's rebellious period needs to patiently analyze the causes and consequences of mistakes according to the rebellious psychology of the incident, so that children can really know that they are wrong and correct them. Note that parents must always monitor their children's development, always guide them and get better slowly. It doesn't take a while to train children. Don't be impatient. Otherwise, the meeting will be wasted and it will be too late to regret it.

Question 4: How to treat children in rebellious youth correctly? Appreciating children is a common means of education for parents. Appreciating children can inspire people to make progress, make children with low self-esteem regain their self-confidence, raise their heads and be human beings, and also make successful children meet new challenges with high fighting spirit. However, appreciation also has its scope of application. We must grasp the discretion and timing. Excessive appreciation will make children blindly arrogant and condescending, which will not only fail to achieve the expected purpose, but also have some side effects. So, how should parents properly appreciate their children, inspire them and turn them into practical actions? Through the analysis and research of a large number of cases, the author thinks that the appreciation of children should follow the following four "basic principles".

Principle 1: Proceed from reality and be good at discovering children's own advantages.

Starting from reality, it is not an exaggeration to ask parents to start from the actual situation of their children and ask them to have one, one or two children.

Parents' words and deeds always affect their children's growth. Unrealistic praise sounds good, but if children can't resist the attack of this sugar-coated cannonball, they will retreat if they don't advance, which will affect the formation of normal psychology.

Li Dongming's academic performance in junior high school is average. Once he got full marks in mathematics. When he handed his report card to his father, his father said excitedly, "Son, you got all the difficult questions right. My father really admires you. Dad wanted to reward you with an MP3, but your grades in other subjects are average and you haven't passed English yet. When you get good grades in the final exam, I will reward you with this MP3. " However, my mother was overjoyed with her report card and said, "Obviously, you are really my mother's good son. I got full marks in math this time, and I will give my mother full marks in chemistry and physics next time! " Obviously, you are the smartest child in the school, and you can do it. "Husband and wife treat their sons differently, and the results will be different. Although most children are willing to accept their parents' praise, they are also self-aware and can tell whether their parents' praise is in line with reality. Children will not agree with those empty words and unrealistic praise. On the contrary, they will think that their parents' praise is too watery, resulting in negative emotions or resistance.

Principle 2: Appreciation should be moderate, not just praise and appreciation.

Appreciation is the affirmation and encouragement given by parents to children after their success. Generally speaking, praise is a good thing, but it is not necessarily a good thing to praise children blindly. In daily life, why are there many children crying and yelling because they failed in competitions or exams? This shows that the child's ability to resist setbacks is very poor, but he can't afford to lose if he wins. Their psychology is extremely fragile, and once they encounter contradictions, they are as depressed as frosted eggplant. Therefore, parents should master a certain scale of appreciation of their children, learn to criticize in appreciation, and learn to appreciate in criticism, so that children can taste the sweetness without suffering. Xin Huang is a sophomore in a middle school. He is the top student in his class and plays the piano very well. Last year, he won the first prize of piano in the youth talent competition held in our province, and his classmates called him "the piano prince". After returning home, Xin Huang reported the results to his parents. His father said solemnly, "First of all, I would like to express my heartfelt congratulations on your achievements. This is a Beethoven symphony that my mother bought for you as a reward, but you should keep working hard. But this is really just the beginning. In addition, if you look at the transcript of the mid-term exam, your Chinese composition is only half tested ... How can you create after you can't even learn Chinese well! "

At the same time, appreciation should be carried out selectively and moderately according to the specific environment and different objects at that time. Parents only need to give general encouragement to their children's always good aspects and give general affirmation to the level that their children should be able to achieve, so that they will not praise them too often and cultivate their pride.

Principle 3: Learn to respect and understand children.

In real life, many parents pretend to be me and ignore their children's feelings. For example, in learning, they set heavy learning tasks for their children and force them to attend various super-long classes. Once their children make any mistakes, they will give them a slap in the face. In fact, children have their own personality and preferences, and they also need respect and understanding. Some children are good at art, but not at playing the piano. Some children are good at math, but poor at Chinese. Therefore, parents should respect their children's personality characteristics when educating their children, and encourage them regularly in their weaknesses, so that children can never like something and become really fond of it in praise. When Zhang Dongli took the senior high school entrance examination, his parents hoped that he would enroll in high school and enter the university in the future, but he filled in a vocational secondary school in the volunteer column, and ... >>

Question 5: How should teachers treat rebellious children and how to deal with "rebellious" children? Six Principles for Treating Children in Early Rebellion Period

According to the characteristics of "rebellious" children, several specific suggestions are put forward to parents:

1. Have an unrestricted dialogue with your child and be an "inquiring" parent;

2. Avoid humiliation or ridicule for questions or conversations that you think are stupid and childish;

3. Accept your child's feelings. As long as their behavior does not violate some bottom lines, don't interfere;

4. When your child is talking, you should concentrate on it, and don't read books, newspapers, TV or other things;

5. Encourage children to participate in family decision-making and work together to complete it;

6. Praise children's small success and let them face life with confidence.

Question 6: How to treat 10 correctly during the child's rebellious period and guide his rebellion in the right direction, instead of asking him to go in the right direction?

Question 7: How to communicate with rebellious children? This question is like, what should I do if an adult goes through menopause?

First of all, I can't say that this method is completely effective, but this is my personal experience.

The rebellious period of children is neither long nor short.

If violence is used against violence, the result is good for the time being, but the mental trauma left to him is permanent.

Rule 1: Adolescent children are like patients with Alzheimer's disease. Sometimes they are awake and sometimes they work hard. When he is awake, he can feel the hardships of his parents. When he was confused, they didn't feel that their parents loved them very much. (If you can understand the meaning of this sentence, congratulations, you will definitely help your child through the rebellious period. If not, please look at the second one. )

Article 2: In the process of growing up, children gradually learn a lot of feelings that only adults have. Such as responsibility, obligation and right. He thinks he has grown up, he thinks he has his own ideas, but he is still so naive in your eyes. They can't be understood by you, and at the same time they can't understand your practice.

So at this time, you need to communicate with him. It is important to communicate in a gentle tone, and seriousness will only make him wary.

The time and place of communication are very important. Don't make peace with him when he loses his temper, because it is difficult for the child to calm down at this time, which will only make things worse.

But some comfort is still necessary, especially for girls. I'm too proud to say it directly.

As for location, of course, home is the best. As the saying goes, ugliness can't be publicized. If you communicate with him in public, if both sides can't control it, the consequences will be unimaginable.

Reasonable opening remarks: Son, when you grow up, I'm afraid I can't keep up with your ideas. So I want to hear your thoughts. Can we talk for a while?

Communication may not solve everything, but communication can prevent the generation gap.

Article 3:

When children are rebellious, they have strong self-esteem and are easily frustrated and wronged. Even if you are a reasonable and wise parent, sometimes you can't help him, because he always has a lot of reasons to make you speechless. However, this is beyond his control. Who wants to quarrel with people every day? It's just that he's a "young and frivolous" of a certain age.

So be as tolerant as possible. There is no need for absolute tolerance. When changing accusations, we should severely criticize them.

Article 4:

Give the child more space, although he thinks he has grown up. But there are some things he still needs your help, but they have strong self-esteem and are more proud than you, so they won't say much.

At this time, you can pay attention to him silently and give him a chance to try. The setbacks you have experienced are often more impressive than what your parents said. Of course, accept the challenges within their scope and let them face them by themselves.

Article 5:

Give encouragement. Even if the child is an adult, encourage him. Adults are willing to listen to good words, let alone children. He may not be very happy then. But he is actually very happy in his heart. It is a wonderful thing to be praised by parents and encouraged by close relatives.

After their setbacks, they scold less and comfort more.

How much you pay, how much the child will return.

Complain less and reflect more. Everything will be fine after this time.

Sometimes I think parents and children are very similar. When children pass puberty, parents enter menopause. When parents work hard for their children, children also work hard for their parents.

Article 6:

Trust. What people need most is trust. When he was in trouble, he said, "I believe you, son." It's better than saying, "You really didn't do it?"

I saw a short article the other day, and I talked about it in it. Trust is when you still hold my hand and say, "I believe you are innocent."

Love is great, and I believe you will be a good parent.

Question 8: How to face the rebellious period of children? How to guide children to get through the rebellious period correctly, communicate with them more, understand what they want in their hearts, and restrain their emotions. Instead of scolding and beating children, it will make children more rebellious and have different ideas. Make friends with children, don't always oppress children with elders, children will choose to escape their parents for a long time.

When children enter adolescence and rebellious period, their words and deeds will change greatly, and many children are completely different from before. As a result, it is difficult for parents who have not recovered to accept and make a fuss. What's more, they regard the individual behavior of their children in the rebellious period as a "scourge" and blindly treat them in simple ways such as blocking or interfering. Over time, the relationship with children is getting worse and worse, and the effect of education is haste makes waste.

Question 1: sneaking around in groups.

On May 4th, Mr. Chen called our hotline 96555. He said, "I don't know if it's useful to tell you this, but I'm really anxious to see the children wasting their time like this." According to Mr. Chen, in the garden of their compound, there are a group of middle school students, men and women in school uniforms get together every noon, and the children are joking while smoking. "Noon should have been the time for students to rest, but these children found a quiet place to secretly learn to smoke and advised them many times, but no one paid attention to me." Mr. Chen was very depressed when he talked about it.

Question 2: Always against parents.

"My son is 14 years old. I feel that his temper has been getting bigger and bigger in the past two years. When I said something about him, he seemed disgusted. He always covers his ears and tells me not to talk. " Speaking of the child's rebellion, Ms. Hu shook her head. Let my son go to bed early at night, or remind him that his homework has not been finished, he will say, "I see, stop nagging, it makes me have a headache." If you continue to talk about him, push Ms. Hu out of the room and lock the door. I used to go home and tell my family what happened at school, but now I don't want to talk about it.

Ms. Hu said: "I know that the child has grown up now and doesn't like being controlled by others, but when I see that he has some bad habits, I can't help but remind him that it will often make trouble with him." Hey, what should I do? "

Question 3: Skipping class and puppy love are worrying.

Mr. Song, who works in Jiuquan Road, will see pairs of "school uniforms" in love in the heart garden of Nanguan Cross Street when he gets off work every evening. Mr. Song said that every time he saw this scene, he couldn't help but shake his head helplessly. At 6 o'clock in the afternoon, two students in school uniforms, a man and a woman, were whispering hand in hand in the small garden. How angry the parents of these children will be when they see this. "Now the problem of puppy love among middle school students is very difficult. Parents' forced intervention is often afraid of being counterproductive, but it won't work anyway. "Mr. Song, who is also a parent, has no idea how to avoid puppy love among students.

Puppy love worries parents, and it is forbidden to play truant with children. Mr. Zhang said that his son is in the third year of this year. He watched him go out on time with his schoolbag on his back every day, but from time to time a teacher called to ask the child why he was absent from school. I either made an appointment with friends to play billiards, or secretly went to an Internet cafe. I hit my son many times for this, but I still can't change it.

What should parents do in the face of the difficulties of these adolescent children?

First of all, parents should correctly realize that children's adolescence and rebellious period are the necessary stages of life, and the formation of children's thoughts has a certain "I" component.

Question 9: How to treat the rebellious children in youth 1? The environment will really affect a person, otherwise,

Why did you move three times?

2, mentality, the child's personality development is the most important, in fact, the results are not so important, but the results can reflect that your child is still very self-respecting, pays great attention to face, and has a strong and enterprising side.

3, children are not all wrong, just as you think what you say is right, children are wrong, and conversely, children will think what you say is wrong, and there will be one kind.

.

Children at this stage can't listen to their parents completely and have a strong sense of autonomy, so parents at this stage have to play a friend-centered role. You can only guide your children, not force them to carry out your will from the standpoint of their parents.

Because American children are precocious, and your children will follow suit in order to blend in with them, because they don't feel as strange as them, so you should understand your children, not that they are not pure and lovely if they like makeup. Little girls of this age also know how to love beauty.

6. The more you are not allowed to do, the more you have to do. This is a rebellious stage peculiar to adolescence. Fighting your parents will make you feel a sense of accomplishment. At this time, it is useless to hit the child. And you said that she was obedient and sensible when she was a child, which means that there is no problem with your original education, and now you have to change the way of education.

You should try your best to support what she has done. At this time, the child can actually start to let her try to make her own decisions, and then patiently analyze the gains and losses of things and how you think it will be better. Instead of rigidly stipulating what she should do before dealing with a thing, even if she thinks your idea is right, she may not listen, because (accurately speaking, children at this stage don't like their parents, because they don't like your pointing fingers, they will feel that their self-esteem is damaged and their sense of autonomy is ignored, so they like to oppose their parents to show their dissatisfaction, so they will have youth.

This is a double influence of physiology and psychology. )

8. For example, you can totally agree to make up.

Her classmates have all changed. If you don't let her do the same thing, you'll leave her alone and remind her of you.

Why can't others and she? You can try to introduce some cosmetics and some simple ones

Well, try to help her and make her feel that your suggestion is feasible. You can talk to her.

Better looking than heavy makeup, pure and lovely, in line with her age, simply wipe your lips.

, repair

Type and so on, so that you can boast a word or two at the right time, saying that makeup is really beautiful, and saying in a proud tone that others need to apply a lot of powder to modify their shortcomings, while your child

Such words to encourage her and give advice in time, then I think she is willing to listen to your opinions rather than criticize.

9. For another example, you can choose clothes with her, let her choose first and then try them on. Even if you are not satisfied, you can let her wear it on you, and then tell her, for example, the clothes are too big for you, and the color doesn't weigh your skin color, and then let her decide whether to buy it or not. Generally speaking, women choose clothes absolutely.

Yes, people will consider buying it or not buying it for a long time when they say it's a little bad. For example, if her clothes are too revealing, don't say so. It can be said that she is not suitable for her age, and she looks old-fashioned and has no youthful vitality. She's too old to be gentle. Now she wears clothes suitable for her age, and she will have the opportunity to wear this kind of clothes in the future. For example, the United States is a country that pays attention to individuality. Children may prefer different clothes, so don't insist that you can't buy them. You should integrate in time, because you will live there after all, and you can support her to choose some slightly exaggerated clothes.

10. As for hobbies such as reading, they can also be re-cultivated. One way is also effective, that is, you can ask her at the right time. If you see anything, you can ask her what kind of flower and bird it is, so you can ask her geography history with questions such as the history of magazines. If it's a little difficult, please ask her to tell you. After her answer, she should be highly praised for her wide knowledge.

1 1. Children's education will not happen overnight. Parents' influence on their children is always the biggest and most effective. It depends on what method you use. You think about your child, not what you say to her verbally, but let her know how important she is to you in attitude and behavior.

12. In short, this stage is an important period for the formation of values. You should give full respect and proper guidance. At this stage, autocracy has ... >>

Question 10: How to deal with 13-year-old children's rebellious period and communication with rebellious children should pay attention to the following six points:

1, no moral judgment. For children's rebellious behavior, parents should not label their children as disobedient, unreasonable, emotional and weak-willed, but should look at it from a developmental perspective. Adolescent rebellion is a normal phenomenon for all. At this time, in the communication with children, we should pay attention to reducing their moral judgment, and don't let them "go online" when they make mistakes or have some inappropriate actions. If your children have adolescent rebellion between the ages of 12 and 18, you should be happy, because they are stepping into the ranks of adults, growing up and sorting out their self-awareness. This process is long, but it will pass.

2. Understanding and tolerance. The more rebellious children are, the more they need their parents to have a peaceful and stable mood. At this time, we can't judge children's behavior by right or wrong, but give them more understanding. For example, when a child's exam results are not ideal, don't automatically think that it is caused by the child's lack of care, and you can't blame more when you see the decline in performance. Instead, you should say, "I know you are under a lot of pressure, and you have worked hard in your own way." Parental tolerance will create space for children's psychological growth, let children precipitate their emotional feelings to the greatest extent, and then better transform their behaviors and ways of doing things.

3. The principle of companionship. Under this principle, the most important thing is to establish a loving parent-child relationship. There is such a case that the child has been rebellious with his father, and even when he grows up, his relationship with his father is still not good. He later recalled that it was because his father had been working in other places and only went home once every two months. Always educate him when he comes back, making him feel that his father came back to take care of himself on purpose. But his father said it was out of love for his children. Because I have less time at home, I want to take time to take care of my children's study every time I go back, but I ignore the communication and play with my children. Paying attention to learning only adds some psychological burden to children who are already under great psychological pressure. Children naturally reject this father who always wants to take care of himself. This case tells us that spending more time with children is an important factor to alleviate children's rebellious psychology, but it is more important to let children feel the love of their parents. Parents' efforts should make children feel it in an effective way. Caring for children is not necessarily just learning, but also including children's lives and thoughts. Spending more time with children and getting to know them may be much better than just "managing" them.

4. Parents should learn to listen. What some parents say to their children is perfunctory and selective. Gradually, children are unwilling to communicate with them. The best way to listen is to listen attentively, and psychological counselors will even listen emotionally and empathize. Listen with an equal attitude, like a friend, and don't be condescending. Generally speaking, when doing psychological counseling, listening is very important and tiring, and you need to maintain a high degree of attention. This is especially true when communicating with children. Learn to listen and listen more. In addition to better understanding the child's thoughts, it can also make him feel the respect of his parents.

5. Provide a platform for children. Another feature of adolescent children is the imbalance of cognition and life experience. If parents don't let go and give their children a chance to practice, their children will be even less confident. When it comes to teenagers, we must let the children make decisions. Many adolescent children are expressing, why do you make decisions for me and why don't you respect my ideas? As a parent, you can let your children touch the south wall and find their immaturity. When you have suffered several losses, your children will naturally have a new understanding of themselves. It is unwise to make decisions for children. Being a parent who can let go properly will accelerate the growth of children.

6. About the rules. Many parents like to impose restrictions on their children, such as when they have to sleep and when they have to eat. And this kind of regulation often makes parents feel frustrated, because children will basically not implement it. The French often say that only when parents give their children the right to say "no" can children really make their own decisions. In other words, children must be able to truly express their wishes in order to gradually establish their own rules and standards. Parents must apologize if they offend their children's right to say "no" in this process. We should respect children's self-esteem and actively pay attention to their good performance.

In a word, adolescence is changeable and full of opportunities and dangers. Adolescent rebellion, like an uninvited guest at home, will eventually leave. When children throw things ... >>