I also like dogs very much. Many of my dogs left me before they were old. They are either lost or dead. I said, it's hard for God to treat me like this.

Today is not a good day for me. Just today, my dog died Although I am so sad that I don't know what to say, I must write these words calmly anyway. In order to commemorate the arrival of this little life, it passed away. Although it didn't work. Among them, I can't forgive myself the most, and the saddest thing is that I wasn't with it when it died. When I came back, it was already dead.

As usual, I like to call its name when I come back, watch it swing up and down in front of me, and then hug it. But today, when I opened the door, it didn't appear. I hurried to its nest to see it. It obviously opened its eyes and looked at me with bitterness, but when I touched its body, I found it was dead, its body was cold and stiff ... but its small eyes were still like that. This is my fault. I didn't handle it properly. I can't stay with it when it leaves. Maybe if I can stay with it all the time, it won't be so scared and lonely ... but I'm sorry, baby, I didn't protect you. ....

Maybe I should find a suitable place to bury it, but I can't even do this. The community where I live is under development. I can't guarantee when and where the excavator will pass by, but where can I take it? In this reinforced concrete city, where else can I be undisturbed? I took it and its nest to the small garden in the yard. Maybe only there can I get temporary peace! I have no tools. How can I give you a place to rest? My only sharp weapon is a fruit knife, and that's all I can do. Just use it to create a rest place for the little guy!

The little guy seems to be still complaining about me at this time. I saw his eyes staring at me. I'll never forget that look. I was desperate, complaining and in pain. The little guy started coughing and having diarrhea yesterday. I don't know what to do. I thought he had a cold. I tried to feed him cold medicine and lactic acid bacteria tablets, but soon he began to vomit again. All the little pills are spit out. What? But it's no use. It's still spitting, and everything that can be spit out is spit out. At night, it doesn't even drink a mouthful of water. It just lies in its nest, looking at me feebly and never sleeping. ....

The garden is full of withered Chinese roses. Roses and wisteria have blossomed. There is no beautiful scenery to accompany it now. I chose a quiet corner to bury it. I used all my strength to dig a deep hole with this little fruit knife. My sweat and tears filled every inch of land under my feet. The smell of earth is fragrant. I hope the little guy will like the taste. Dust to dust, dirt to dirt. It returned to the soil where everything grew. Digging this small hole really exhausted all my strength and my hands were covered with blisters, but what could it be? A life has just disappeared. Sometimes, it is really easy to choose to leave, but it is too difficult to choose to stay. With the passing of life, there is no sound, a weak life, quietly away. Only I once regarded it as a treasure. ....

Recall how much happiness it brought me and how much beauty it brought to my lonely life during our short time together. But what did I bring it? Because of my irregular diet, the little guy didn't eat much on time. When I bought him a lot of sausages, he was already dead. His unfinished ham sausage is still full of drawers. When I opened the drawer, my eyes were full of red, but at this time it was extremely sad. I am a person who never drinks milk, but I will carefully choose the right milk for it in the supermarket. But when the milk is bought back, it has no strength to smell! There is also a cup of milk that I heated on the table. It's right in front of my eyes, reminding me that it's late. .....

At this time, I was still sitting on the bed surfing the Internet. When I looked down, I couldn't see the pink rattan basket. I used it to bury the little guy's nest because I wanted him to sleep more comfortably. Although it doesn't usually stay in the nest, because as long as I am there, it always plays coquetry with me, and I don't want to lie alone in the nest and whine at my feet until I pick it up and put it on my lap. It will find a comfortable angle on my skirt and then fall asleep quietly. Sometimes it dreams, and I hear it muttering softly and humming softly. Sometimes it snores, just like people. It is safe and beautiful to see it sleeping on my skirt. But it is inevitable to keep the same posture for a long time, but I can't bear to disturb it when I see it sleeping so soundly. So I will keep this posture all night before going to bed. A long time has passed. I didn't hug it, but it fell asleep quietly on my feet. When a small animal is willing to sleep against you, please believe how much it trusts you.

Perhaps my behavior is incomprehensible to outsiders. What makes me have such deep feelings for dogs? I don't know if you can understand that you can't trust anyone at will after being away from home for many years. My heart is wearing thick armor, but there is always a time to put it down. Loneliness should be borne, because I am not afraid and not used to it. However, emotion needs a carrier, and it must have an attached object. In my eyes, animals can be trusted, because dogs are spiritual, know how to feel, know how to listen and know how to be quiet. They are my partners. Trust is a kind of eye contact. You can give your heart to each other at a glance without worrying about being abandoned. It is safe and beautiful to watch them sleep on my skirt.

For the little life that has passed away, I can only say I'm sorry, really sorry. I wonder if I will have the courage to adopt a puppy in the future. I'm afraid life will leave me ... I'm sorry, little guy. Let me use this passage to commemorate our short fate. ......