Humorous sentences _ humorous sentences

Some humorous sentences are suitable for making people laugh. The following is a humorous sentence I compiled. Thank you for reading.

Humorous sentences 1. The art of self-cultivation is actually the art of lying.

2. A woman will be accompanied by a group of brothers, and a lovely girl will be accompanied by a group of boyfriends.

The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: sleepy in spring, sleepy in summer and sleepy in autumn.

4. Review = fail, not review = fail, so review+not review = fail+fail, improve the common factor, (1+ no) review = (not+1) fail, so review = fail. Shit, the truth is born?

5. The British girl slipped by herself, shoveled the Italians and dragged the Korean talents away, trying to ensure that Li Jianrou won the championship. It's more interesting to hand over the gold medal than American Emmons missed the last shot. Not only did he miss the target himself, but he also killed all the other players.

6. You were in my heart when you were thin, and then you got stuck when you got fat.

7. My last words before I died were: Employers and employees no longer have to be afraid of ghosts.

8. Ordinary youth: If it snows, I can have a snowball fight with my girlfriend. Fu: I can see many pure girls in the snow again. Short, ugly and poor: it's snowing. I can make a snowman to accompany me. Idiot youth: It's delicious to mix some sugar with snow.

9.？ Especially diligent? These five words, I thought about it, and only made the first four.

10. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

1 1. Don't run amok when you are young. What can you say to that year when you are old?

12. They will never understand how important stupidity, laziness and worthlessness are to the happiness of our lives.

13. The clever monster wrote down the Tang Priest's spell.

14. After knowing Ma Yun, I achieved two great successes: successful login and successful payment, which also gave me a car: a shopping cart, and at the same time made me understand my own shortcomings and insufficient balance.

15. One person is afraid of loneliness, and two people are afraid of pregnancy.

16. Do you hear every time you take the elevator? Ding? With the sound of opening the door, everyone felt that they were in the microwave oven.

17. I will still secretly pay attention to your dynamics from time to time. It's nothing. I just hope that you are unhappy every day without me.

18. You should set up lofty ideals from an early age, otherwise you have no idea how much you will fail in the future.

19. On the bus, a little girl pointed a wand at me behind my back and said, Turn you into the most beautiful girl in the world? As soon as I turned around, she exclaimed, Mom, I can do magic. ?

20. It's nothing to have no money now, and there will be many days without money in the future.

2 1. I want to sit on the roof with you, push you down by the way, hug you when you slide under the eaves and ask if you love me. If you say no, I'll let go.

22. None of the women who participated in the beauty pageant can find a good man, because all the good men are married, such as me.

23. The mosquito was really angry after biting you, but what was even more angry was that it bit you, but you couldn't find it!

24. Why can diaosi see the masculinity of the beloved goddess? That's because the goddess doesn't hang you at all and doesn't give you porridge.

25. If you count the increase in wages and pork, you will find that you are not even as good as a pig!

Say the sentence humorously 1. People always deceive themselves, because it is easier than deceiving others.

According to the survey, most of the 56 ethnic groups in China have the habit of singing and dancing after drinking. Only I, Han nationality, start bragging when I drink too much!

3. Go to the canteen for breakfast and get a bottle of yogurt today. Look at the production date: 2065438+August 2006, 13. Me:? Look, the date of production? It is the future yogurt, which earned a lot and extended its shelf life by 6 months. Until August 13, when it was first produced. Very fresh! Just let it go for a while.

4. if you have nothing to do, you will show off in an ostentatious manner. Anyway, idle is idle!

The most rogue in winter, always like to freeze hands, feet, face and ears.

6. Physiologically, the so-called naivety means that you can't hold your urine and can't hold your words; The so-called immaturity means that you can only hold your urine and can't hold your words; The so-called maturity means that you can hold back your urine and your words; The so-called aging is that you can hold your breath, but you can't hold your urine. Dude, you're a mature man, and you keep yelling!

7. The husband often hears gossip about his wife and decides to investigate. He lied to his wife that he was away on business. I pretended to pack my bags and left home. Late at night, he went straight home. Strangely, the husband found a row of men standing in front of his house. In order not to disturb him, he decided to go in, but as soon as he climbed the wall, he was pulled down by a man. The man scolded: Do you still want to jump the queue? Get in line in the back!

8. Don't be infatuated with me, my sister-in-law will hit you.

9. I'm really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.

10. We are best friends. You tell me your embarrassing story, and I can help solve it, but let me smile first.

1 1. We are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

12. The secret of staying young is to have a restless heart.

13. The law stipulates that men can only get married at the age of 23, but 18 can be a soldier. This illustrates three problems: first, it is easier to kill than to be a husband; Second, it is more difficult to live than to fight; Third, women are more difficult to deal with than enemies.

14. Eat grass and squeeze out acne!

15. Women like bad men and don't like bad men.

The most humorous classic is 1. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever? Stop dreaming and study hard!

2. The crowd looked for her for thousands of Baidu, looking back and smiling, that person disdained me.

3. Bajie said to Wukong. Brother Monkey, have you ever heard that girls can enter the park at half price as long as they wear skirts not exceeding 38 cm? Let's go to see a beautiful woman. Wukong said grumpily:? Are you stupid? Tickets are on sale. Can the beauty of a beautiful woman not be discounted?

4. At present, various ministries and commissions of the country have successively announced their own three public consumption, and the figures should be reduced as much as possible and the money should be spent as much as possible; Project expenditure should be as much as possible, and the specific use direction should be concealed as much as possible. After the announcement, the consumption level of the three ministries and commissions was low and finally reasonable. Damn it, when we are stupid, we tell everyone how much we spent. Believe it or not is a question of IQ. Many of our departments are constantly testing our IQ. Do you think our broad masses of people are blind in their discerning eyes?

The second row of letters on the keyboard means: I cried after falling in love with each other, and vice versa: it is love to open a chrysanthemum to attack and defend.

I heard that it is raining in your city. I want to ask you if you have an umbrella. If there is, the rain will be in vain.

7. School will start at the end of the summer vacation. Tell you a good news, this year's Spring Festival is February 20 15 19, and the winter vacation is basically based on the Spring Festival. Therefore, you will welcome the longest new semester in 50 years, from 1985 to 2034. # What do you mean you can have a winter vacation after five classes? . . #

8. I'm going to work in other places, and some classmates sent me to the airport. Just as my classmates and I hugged each other and said goodbye, the girl I had a crush on for a long time gave me a hand, snatched the plane ticket and tore it in half, telling me not to leave. . . My nose is sore and my eyes are red. I walked up to the girl and it was a slap. Nima's ticket is worth half my salary!

9. I want to eat lollipops. How about we share them? Yeah, well, I eat candy, and you eat sticks.

10. Honey, be nice to me, or I won't have your son.

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