To: My first love!

There was such a person in my youth. In his eyes, I was a very good girl, very gentle, good at everything. I am very grateful to have such a person in my youth. Later in life, I never met anyone who treated me better than him. Although I haven't seen him for a long time, he has left traces of him in my life unknowingly. After experiencing good love, it is difficult to be moved by ordinary feelings, and it is difficult to lower the standard of love. Until now, I don’t know whether this is luck or misfortune. I have let go of him, but the subtle influence he brought to me is still there and may continue forever. He is my first love, some say this is my first love. Let’s talk about some things you had with him before. At that time, I was inseparable from a friend who was very good at playing. He would come to see us every time after class. I didn’t know that he liked me at the time because he would talk and play with us, but in retrospect, he was obviously more interested in me. Gentle, but I didn’t know it at the time. During that long period of time, because of his joining, there were a lot more laughter and laughter. He was so funny. To be honest, he was always laughing and joking, and sometimes he was a bit tongue-tied. My friend's jokes are very funny. The two of us can tease each other equally well, and neither of them let the other go. It feels so funny every time I'm around him.

? I was using a push-button phone because my parents were afraid that I would delay my studies. So I didn’t know anything about QQ at that time. In the middle of my second year in junior high school, a friend of mine registered a QQ account for me, and I could log in by pressing the button on my mobile phone. I was quite happy to add some of my good friends, and then He also knew about it and took the initiative to add me. After I agreed to the friend request, he would chat with me from time to time. It would be really funny. He always told me a lot of interesting things. He talked a lot, and I always disliked him. Annoying, he was not angry. Later, when I said I had swept the floor, he actually said I was virtuous. At that time, I thought he was so stupid. I didn't like him at that time, and I didn't know that he liked me. Just laughing and joking.

? In the days that followed, he always chatted with me from time to time. Gradually I got used to it. Gradually, he stopped playing with us and stopped chatting with me on QQ. He even returned the pen he borrowed from me. That time I felt inexplicably unhappy. I don’t know whether I was used to his presence or not. I fell in love with him. Several friends asked me what was wrong and I didn’t go out to play. There was a friend who stayed with me, but I didn’t say anything and just lay on the table because I couldn’t explain why. I didn't think about it anymore and found an excuse to excuse my friend, because I wasn't sure whether I really liked him or not, and my friend was very gossipy, so I found various excuses, and the matter was settled later.

? What happened was that one day the head teacher was arranging seats, and he happened to be in front of me. Then one day after that, a bunch of people started yelling and saying that he liked me but didn't dare to confess, and then they came over to help him. He said that I was surprised and a little embarrassed at the time. In the afternoon, he handed me a letter. The content of the letter was to express his love for me. At the end of the letter, he said this sentence, "Classmate x, you can do My girlfriend?" After reading it, I felt that he was even more stupid. Later, my friends were also teasing me and asking me to agree. It seemed that they knew about it before, but I was kept in the dark. Of course, I agreed in the end because I was not very good at it. Want to miss it. He didn't dare to talk to me that day. He was not as easy-going as before, more reserved. You could see his nervousness from him at a glance. Later he emphasized to me that he would never disturb my study, just at night. Make an appointment for a self-study session.

? In fact, we were quite embarrassed at first. We talked in the corridor at night and talked about some very childish topics. The two of us only spent about an hour together.

It was also at that time that he sent me a message. I was very annoyed for a while because I didn’t know how to tell him, so I never told him about my illness. I felt that I was disfigured. My self-esteem was relatively strong and I didn’t think much about it. Let him know me like this.

? On an ordinary day, I told him we were breaking up, and he said we could still be friends? My last negative answer happened to be a network timeout, so I happened to meet his question, but I didn’t explain it, so I deleted it. I've always felt sorry for him. I didn't give him any reason to break up, and he didn't pester me. He always respected me, but sometimes he believed me too much, and he was too good. When I said it was annoying, he just said He thought I was really annoying him. I said I didn’t want to talk to him, but he really ignored me. Sometimes I hope he understands me, but I can’t blame him. After all, it’s my first time falling in love, and it’s also my own fault. I have no reason to blame him. In the next few years, I saw him occasionally, but a few times I saw him on the street and he didn't notice me. Another time it was so coincidental that we met on the bus and he noticed me and I saw him. He, but I pretended to be calm. When I got to the station, I got off the bus without looking back. He must have doubts about why I was so heartless. In fact, what he doesn't know is that it took me a long time to let go of him. He doesn't know most of my liking for him. He always thinks that I don't like him very much because I don't show much. He and I have only been together for half a year, but we have become the most important passers-by in each other's lives.

? About the year before last, a junior high school classmate pulled all the classmates of our class into a WeChat group, and then I used a WeChat business software to automatically add him to the class group. In fact, it was I selected him, and there were two others randomly selected in the class group. They agreed. My unanimous answer was that they were randomly added by the WeChat business software. I originally wanted to say sorry to him, but he agreed with me. The first sentence he said was "Do you still remember me?" It seemed that he never let go of me, and I didn't want to hurt him. Later he started chatting with me, and then he said good morning to me every day, and I apologized. I didn't say it out loud, I didn't know how to say it, and I didn't want him to fall in love again, because I didn't have the same feelings for him as before, so I acted coldly. Later, it was my birthday during the summer. I posted a birthday message in my circle of friends. He saw it and sent me a red envelope. He lied to me and said it was a small red envelope. I clicked on it and it was 200 yuan. I transferred it back to him and he didn’t want it. Later We didn’t talk much, but I always remembered this. On his birthday the next year, I also sent him a red envelope and returned it to him. I don’t really want to owe others anything. And I feel like I no longer have the nerve to owe him money now that I owe him affection. I thought that was it, until this time my mother's aneurysm ruptured and the surgery fee was not enough. I posted a water drop chip, and he also donated money on it, and directly donated 500 yuan. I recognized his avatar, and those friends of mine Most of the donations were forwarded to me on WeChat. He didn't talk to me on WeChat, but forwarded them directly on Shuidichi. This incident made me feel even more indebted to him, because he always does this to me, silently, But he didn't say anything. He was a carefree boy, but he was actually also a very careful boy. I will wait until my mother recovers during this period before going to work to earn money, and then I will return all the money he donated and the money donated by other friends to them. I don't really want to owe anyone a favor, especially him.

? My friend asked me if I had considered getting back together. At that time, I said that if I didn’t like it, I just didn’t like it. We couldn’t be together because we were moved, as it would hurt others and myself. And I also thought carefully about the past. In his mind, until now, I may have been relatively beautiful, but the real me is not that beautiful. Sometimes I feel that I am quite bad. I don’t want to hurt others but always Hurtful. In fact, I am really not as good as he imagined. His love has given me a layer of light, so I feel that I am good everywhere. Maybe his appearance taught me the ladder of love. I won’t be easily moved by other people’s good deeds. I think it’s a kind of luck. Thank you!

? Memories can sometimes lie. And sometimes it's good not to be together, at least in my mind there is always the existence of Bai Yueguang.

"Later I discovered that the biggest regret in life is not that you missed the best person, but that you missed the person who wanted to be nice to you the most." Only about him, I feel guilty.

? Later on, the people I met, their liking was very shallow. After we met for a short time, after chatting for a few words, they said they liked them. They liked them quickly and hated them quickly, and gave up easily. I have never met someone as sincere as his love. A boy's love is always cautious and expressive, and he can't hide his love for you in every move.

? Unfortunately, everything is over. I hope that each of them will be well in their respective futures, I hope that he will be well, shine in the world he likes, and then meet a better girl.