Does anyone have the crosstalk lines for Ma Ji or Niu Qun or Feng Gong?

"Thieves Company" Feng Gong, Niu Qun's lines Text: Niu: Ah, Feng Gong Feng: Yes, it's me Niu: Crosstalk actor Feng: It's me Niu: I really envy your job. Feng: Don’t say that. Niu: Just move your mouth and don’t use your hands. There are no injuries on your body after the cross talk. Feng: You plan to let us see blood after the cross talk, right? Niu: My work can’t be compared with yours. Feng: What's the matter? Niu: We were beaten black and blue every three days. Feng: Oh, you participated in boxing. Niu: You are so old that you are risking your life. Feng: Confrontation is strong. Ox: The risk is too great. Feng: Then you can see the spirit! Niu: Worried and frightened. Feng: Just get used to it. Ox: Afraid of being caught. Feng: Hide quickly. Niu: If someone catches you, you'll be beaten to death. Feng: Then the opponent committed a foul. Niu: He doesn’t care about you. Just a few days ago, six young men hung me up and beat me, cursing me while they were beating me. Feng: Why are you scolding? Niu: Let you steal the wallet! Feng: Oh, are you a thief? Niu: Look at how a cultured person like you speaks so unpleasantly, what do you mean by a thief? Feng: That should be Call you---- Niu: Pay the bill! Feng: Isn’t this different from this? Niu: I’ve had enough. In order to steal this little thing, I huddled around secretly all day long. Trembling and frightened, living in secret is not cool at all. I've had enough. I regret how I became a thief? Feng: That's good. Niu: Why don't you rob someone on the road? Really, if you're caught robbering someone on the road, you'll be killed, so you don't have to suffer so much. Feng: Hey, let me tell you, as long as you make up your mind to correct it, I will do my best to help you. Niu: Good sir, this sentence is all it takes. Feng: Isn’t that true? Niu: Even if I give up completely, they won’t let me go. Feng: Have you joined a gangster gang? Niu: Who has joined a gangster gang? Feng: That------ Niu: The one I joined is called the Thief Company. Feng: The Thief Company? Niu: The full name is Thief Financial Co., Ltd. Feng: How many people are there in your company? Niu: More than a hundred people. Feng: More than a hundred thieves? Niu: Not all thieves. We are the only two who really insist on working on the front line. Feng: What about the others? Niu: They are all leading cadres. Feng: Your thief company still has leading cadres? Niu: Hey, what you said: "The train runs fast, and people are led by the front of the car. The cadres take the lead, and the thieves take the lead." If a thief has a lot of energy and no leader, he will definitely not be able to steal well. Either he can't steal or he can't escape." Feng: What kind of cadres do you have? Niu: There are more cadres, one general manager and forty-eight deputy managers. Feng: Forty-eight people? Niu: Each one is in charge of his own stall. Feng: What are they all in charge of? Niu: Some are in charge of administration, some are in charge of organization, some are in charge of publicity, some are in charge of logistics, some are in charge of family planning... . Feng: Wait a minute, does your thieves company still have family planning? Niu: Hey, as you said, the whole country is a game of chess, and we thieves are no exception. Otherwise, everyone would have family planning, and we thieves would give birth to random children. Big thieves would give birth to thieves, and thieves would give birth to young thieves. The more thieves would give birth to more and fewer good people, who would we steal from? Feng: You are also doing this for the sake of ecological balance. Niu: Of course, these are all departments from the upper level to the lower level, and the division of labor is even more detailed. Feng: What departments are there? Niu: Take the security department as an example --=- Feng: No, wait a minute, why does your thief company need a security department? Niu: It's too necessary, more than a hundred If thieves gather together, if there is no security department, then what is there in the company will be gone in a blink of an eye? Our company is a thief, and the No. 1 document of 1990 clearly states: The more thieves are in the den, the more theft prevention must be strengthened. Work! Feng: It’s hard to guard against domestic thieves. Niu: Of course, these are permanent agencies. If there is a central mission, many temporary agencies will have to be added. Feng: What kind of organizations are there? Niu: There are so many. You think it’s the Spring Festival and you have to set up the Spring Robbery Office? Feng: What? The Spring Robbery Office? Niu: During the Spring Festival, the raid on the burglary office is called the Spring Robbery Office. What about Women’s Day? Niu: Establish a Women’s Office. Feng: May 4th Youth Day? Niu: Youth Day! Feng: Children's Day on June 1st? Niu: Children's Day! Feng: Don't delay during the holidays.

Niu: Don’t mention it’s a holiday. We will set up a variety show organization today for the variety show! Feng: Hey, don’t! Niu: Our director is here in person! Feng: Who is your director? Niu: Don’t say that, I am the only one to sue, our director is === Feng: Who? Niu: Hou Yuting! Feng: Comrades, comrades, don’t be intimidated by this just talking. Niu: If you don’t do it, this person will be too busy to do anything. He will have to streamline things for several years in the first few years. The more streamlined he is, the more people he will have. There is no way, they all come through the back door through connections. Sent by superiors. The person who is sent has to be a cadre. In fact, we are a very business unit. . It does not mean that individuals come to our work to serve as cadres. A layman is an expert leader, and none of his subordinates can do anything without trouble. You say this person is good, but the superiors say no. There is a couplet circulating in our place, which explains the problem very well. Feng: What couplet? Niu: The first couplet is, if you say you can do it, then you can do it, and if you don’t, it’s okay. Feng: The second couplet. Niu: If you say no, it won’t work, and even if you can, it won’t work. Feng: Horizontal criticism Niu: I can’t accept it Feng: You are still a cultured thief of the generation. Niu: The most important thing is to set up a team and issue a target of several thousand yuan. Feng: Then steal it. Niu: It's easier said than done. You haven't stolen recently. Feng: That's right. Niu: That means we have few manpower when people steal big items, so stealing small items isn’t worth the big stuff. I didn't dare to take the bankbook away after I stole it. Want to steal but afraid of being cheated. Always tired. After hard work, you can’t steal tens of thousands of dollars in one day. Feng: That’s a lot. Niu: No, it’s not enough money to steal. Feng: As for what? Niu: Yeah, I’ll do the math for you. Feng: Okay, you do the math. Niu: There are more than a hundred thieves in our company, eating, drinking, sleeping, walking, sitting and lying down. Come on, this will cost money, right? Feng: This will cost money. Niu: Going to tourist spots endlessly to study and hold meetings, will this cost money? Not to mention, our leading cadres also have to go abroad for inspection! You said you are the only one Thief Company, why did you go abroad to study? It said it was to learn advanced foreign theft techniques! Feng: This is also to break out of Asia and steal to the world. Niu: What is the most intolerable thing? When you see other companies advertising on TV, our company also wants to advertise! Feng: Your thief company also wants to advertise? Niu: The advertising words have been written. Feng: What's the word? Niu: "Friend, do you want to get rich quickly? Please join the Thieves Company, which can make you rich overnight. The contact person of our company... Feng: Who is it? Niu: It is not appropriate to spread the word. Feng: : Telephone number? Niu: Confidential for now. Feng: Telegraph registration? Niu: No comment. Feng: Work address? Niu: Just take a shot and change the place. Feng: Who can find it? Niu: The police blocked us for this. Several times. When I saw this situation, I quickly wrote a report: In view of the tight situation, it is recommended that all personnel in the company be transferred immediately! Big dog, please give me permission! Feng: Have you handed it over? Niu: It has been handed over to the deputy team leader. The team leader took it over and drew a circle first. Niu: This is called circle luck. Feng: This is a matter for the team leader. : The team leader took it over and looked at it, then drew a circle and asked the deputy section manager to decide! He drew a circle and asked the section chief to decide. The section chief first drew a circle and asked the deputy manager to decide, and then he drew it again. Feng: I drew five circles and asked the general manager to decide. Take a look at it and pick up the pen. Swish. I approved a few words. Feng: How? Niu: Yes! Go to the Olympics to steal! Before the report was finished, the police blocked us in the room and thought I was wearing cold gloves. I finished thinking. , It’s all over. The more desperate I become, the more regretful I become, and the more regretful I become, the more angry I am. My report is my thing, Comrade Feng: Huh? Niu: Bureaucracy is harmful. Dead! There are too many. Please tell me which one you like best and write it down. I will answer you