I feel very guilty when dealing with my son.

My mother has been working out of town for a long time and suddenly gets along with her adolescent son. She wants to quickly alleviate the gap between mother and son. In fact, this problem itself is not difficult. The key depends on the mother's mentality. If she has a good mentality, she will be very close to her son. Face to face naturally. But if you can't let go of the guilt in your heart, I'm afraid you always feel embarrassed when facing your son. Let me give this mother some suggestions.

1. It has become an indisputable fact that I have been separated from my son for a long time. We have adapted to each other, and suddenly we have to face each other again when we live together.

For a mother, the biggest adjustment you may have is trying your best to do something for your son, but not knowing whether your son is willing to accept it. Or maybe you've been trying to do something, but your son has rejected you. For the son, whether he accepts it or not, he needs to adapt to the family environment of living with his mother first, because the mother has become the most familiar stranger in his life. Faced with getting along with "strange" women, it is difficult for adolescents to Of course, it takes a certain amount of time. As for the mother, you also need to let go of any guilt and face your son calmly.

2. When getting along with your son day and night, the mother and son should treat each other as equals, seek your son's opinions as much as possible, and do not try to impose your will on him.

If an adolescent boy does not live with his mother for a long time, although he has adapted to the days when his mother is not around, he will still complain. Especially when the mother tries to discipline his son, he will think in his heart: " Why did you want to take care of me? Don’t you think it’s too late to take care of me now? Are you a qualified mother?” Therefore, in order to prevent your son from complaining, what do you need to do when you get along with your son? Discuss with your son or ask for advice before doing anything. In this way, the son will feel that his mother respects him very much, and his rebellious psychology will be greatly reduced.

3. The mother must make the decision when she decides. She must not lose her principles of life. Otherwise, it will be easy for her son to disrespect his mother.

When getting along with her son, a mother must insist on being independent and principled. Because adolescent boys would rather believe in rules than in the reasonable words you say. This is not difficult to understand in itself. Adolescent children themselves question so-called "authority" or have a disdainful attitude towards the preaching of their elders. Therefore, when a mother is involved in family affairs or matters related to her son, you need to discuss it with your husband first based on the actual situation at home, and then tell your son after the opinions are unified. This not only reflects family democracy, but also does not lead to overconfidence. Let your son be too self-centered.

Fourth, mothers should avoid talking about why they always worked outside the home as much as possible. This can easily lead to dissatisfaction in their children.

In my work of guiding family education practice, I often meet parents who work outside the country for a long time. They generally have a mentality that they always want to explain to their children why they want to work outside the country, including to their children. The child complained about how difficult it was for him to wait while working in other places. As a result, they found that the child did not understand him or her, and did not even have the most basic sympathy. For this reason, I hereby suggest that when getting along with your son, you should avoid talking about your work outside as much as possible, so as to avoid embarrassing your child or causing his dissatisfaction.

Conclusion: In many families where parents and adolescent children have been living together, there is also the phenomenon of children and parents having nothing to say. As a mother, you must pay attention to this. Don't always think that your son is dissatisfied with you when you see your son unwilling to communicate with you. This is just a normal phenomenon of adolescent growth. Therefore, as long as you face your son with a normal mind, be optimistic and confident, and put aside your sensitivity and suspicion as much as possible, the problem will be solved.