Humorous jokes and sentences close to life

Humorous jokes and sentences close to life

Humorous jokes and sentences close to life are rich and colorful, but there are also many humorous things, humorous people and humorous words in life. These humorous paragraphs and sentences close to life are close to this kind of happiness and have their own distance. Let's take a look at these humorous jokes and sentences that are close to life.

Humorous sentences close to life 1 1. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hate.

Second, when you comfort others, you just want to find a rope when you comfort yourself.

Third, if you love several people at the same time, you are young; If you only love one person, then you are old; If you don't love anyone, you have been born again.

Four, grow so big, didn't learn other skills, mastered a specialty, can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, can be excited without stimulants at night.

5. Life is like jiaozi. Whether you are dragged into the water or you jump into the water yourself, life is not mature without drowning once.

6. Mom and Dad, be calm when you have a parent-teacher meeting, and face the teacher calmly to provoke the relationship between you and me. I am your own, do you believe me or him!

Seven, every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places that the hands can't reach are in other places. Going to the toilet is a business trip.

Eight, I will faint by boat. How can I have two feet on both sides?

Nine, when I was a child, my father told me that I picked it up next to the trash can. From then on, whenever I am unhappy and sad, I will sit next to the trash can because it smells like home.

The highest expression of friendship is that you are all gay in the eyes of others!

Eleven, when I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to cook for my wife.

Twelve, when I was a child, I compared my grades. Compare wages when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!

Thirteen, senior three went to the bank to get a card, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle.

Fourteen, lose weight for ten years and eat fat for three minutes. Ten years of love, three minutes to break up. Study for ten years and forget for three minutes. It takes three minutes to charge for ten years.

Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Sixteen, my hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic, static is sleeping, dynamic is turning over.

Seventeen, life is like a dream, I always suffer from insomnia; Life is like a play, I always wear help; Life is like a song, I always go out of tune; Life is like a battlefield, and I am always possessed. Summary: a miserable life!

Making money is a kind of ability, and spending money is a kind of technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

Nineteen, I usually like to drive Rolls Royce and Bentley. If I go out with my friends, I will drive a Porsche. If I want to drive fast, I prefer Ferrari. Of course, I like joking best.

Twenty, it is said that drinking can't exceed six points drunk, eating can't exceed seven points full, and couples can't exceed eight points! But most people are often drunk and full, and then they love to be stupid!

A humorous joke close to life 2 1 With such a song, I will unconsciously think of someone and shed inexplicable tears.

The most terrible thing is that she obviously hates you and pretends to be good with you. The most terrible thing is that she is very kind to you, but she speaks ill of you in front of others; The most terrible thing is that the person you see day and night thinks you have nothing to say to her, but she has a lot to hide from you; The most terrible thing is that she also said that she hates people, but she is good with him; The most terrible thing is that your best friend betrayed you. It's really ridiculous that you can't even give your heart in friendship.

3, there is no power to move forward, there is no room for retreat, and standing still makes people anxious. This is the life of modern people. Zhu Deyong

4. I understand the truth, but the feelings don't make sense.

Friendship, like love, has a shelf life. Think about how many friends who have lost contact silently exist in your address book. It's not that I don't want to contact. But that life is cruel and time and space are changing. You and I have no intersection. It's better to be in love with each other than to be in love with each other. Life is just a journey, you pass by me, I pass by you, and then, practice separately and move on.

6. There is only one kind of success-living according to your own meaning.

7. If a person thinks too highly of himself, he will be looked down upon by others; A person with low self-esteem will be respected by others. Deliberately raising yourself is a kind of guilty conscience, and deliberately belittling yourself will also be affected. A peaceful look, a sincere attitude and a generous attitude that doesn't care whether others think it is noble or not are the guarantee of a peaceful life. -Yu

8, the heart is determined, the strength of love.

9. The world made me black and blue, but the wound grew wings.

10, you could have chosen a flat and upright road, but you chose a thorny, rugged and dangerous road. You could have chosen a light cloud to pass by, but you chose a moth to put out the fire, regardless of the consequences. You could have chosen a noisy carnival, but you chose to stand alone, alone. No matter how the years change, I am willing to bear it because I can't regret it. Xia Qixi

1 1. I waited for several hours at the job fair, but I didn't get enough education. 2 1 1 was rejected by the interviewer. You cried, and then you thought the world was unfair. Maybe you didn't work hard enough in high school, so you didn't get into 2 1 1. Maybe you didn't work hard enough in college, so you can only squeeze a job fair with more than one person to find a job. Maybe you didn't take the time to exercise your stress resistance, so you were knocked down by a sentence. A person goes to any position because of himself. -Liu Tong

12, love, either don't start or live forever.

13, maybe you will never know, and I will remember your words for a long time; One of your disapproving promises, but I'm trying to wait.

14, lovelorn is like an hourglass, tears and heartache are a trickle. Every time I think about you, it will cause a burst. Everyone who is lovelorn has sung Happy Break-up and experienced the time after the break-up. Many urban men and women have experienced such painful times. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Even if it breaks your heart, forget it with a smile and start the next journey.

15, don't say sorry to me. You have nothing to be sorry for. Love is honest. It is a fact that I love you. It is also true that you don't love me. If you pretend to love me, you are sorry for me.

16. If you can't give me everything, I'd rather have nothing.

17, accustomed to life without any surprises now.

18, many times, humans accidentally misunderstand themselves, imagining themselves to be too smart or not smart enough, and time will always clarify the misunderstanding. Liu Yu

19, buy it, don't compare prices; Eat, don't regret; Love is love, don't be suspicious; If it doesn't work, it will be replaced if it is broken, and it will be scattered if it is scattered. Don't slander it.

20. If you are strong inside, you can apologize, but you must be stronger to forgive.

2 1. If you want to go, you should go quickly. Don't waste my time. There is no good result yet.

22. How naive it used to be and how vicissitudes it is now.

23, like a person, always happy; If you love someone, you will often cry. If you like someone, you will smile when you think of him. Love a person, when you think of him, you will look at the sky blankly. Like a person, is to see his advantages; To love someone is to tolerate his shortcomings. Like, is a kind of mood; Love is an emotion.

24. We all have those days when we are desperate when we are loved and we are at a loss when we are loved.

25. When love is a thing of the past, letting go is a kind of satisfaction. Not all love must blossom and bear fruit. Love doesn't need to die to show its will, and it doesn't need to lick the wound all its life. Wise love is to heal the scar and forget the pain: I will remember you and then love others.