After having my own home, I began to forgive my parents for preferring sons to daughters.

There are four children in our family. My sister and I are twins with two brothers on them. When I was a child, my mother used to say that the best thing in my life was to have one or two daughters. My sister and I always thought that like my brother, our parents would not prefer sons to daughters.

Knowing that my parents prefer sons to daughters is the second year after I graduated from college. To be exact, it was time for me to resign from the oil field and go home. I know my mother has always disapproved of my resignation, thinking that the oil field is an iron rice bowl, but the salary of several thousand yuan a month has increased by 50 yuan a year. At first glance, I really don't want to do this all my life. I want to try my life again. There are other possibilities.

However, I underestimated my mother's reaction. The day after I got home, my mother began to look down on me and find fault with me. My nose is not my nose, but my eyes. I thought she was just angry that I resigned without her consent. Until my mother pointed her nose at me and scolded me, you thought you were just like your two brothers. I raised them if they didn't work, and I don't care if you die in the street if you don't work.

At that time, my brain was buzzing and I looked at my mother strangely. My father keeps telling my mother to shut up, but she still repeats all the bad words in my ear like a machine gun.

The next day, I packed my bags, left home and went to the city to look for a job with only a few thousand dollars. At that time, eldest brother had stayed at home for two years, didn't find a job, and ate his parents' money. But the day after I resigned, my mother scolded me for staying at home because I was a daughter and was afraid that I would eat her money like her son.

This year is my seventh year away from home. My present job is much better than the iron rice bowl in the oil field, and my salary has doubled. I have been married to my husband for 3 years, and I have a lovely baby. I have changed a big house this year. Life is getting better and better. No matter whether you get married or have children, parents have to pay and contribute. Although it is not as good as the treatment of my two brothers, I don't care so much in my heart. Because I have my own job, I have the ability to make myself better and better. The most important thing is that I have my own home and my own baby, and I began to try to understand them.

2 ?

I remember that in the first year of work, after getting the year-end bonus, when I discussed with my colleagues where to play, the beautiful little A at the next table was sad. Only after asking did I know that she had a brother who was getting married at the end of the year. Her parents just called two days ago and asked her to give her brother and daughter-in-law 20 thousand yuan at the end of the year. In fact, since she started working, she has to pay part of her salary to her parents every month. They are all newcomers in the workplace, with a monthly salary of several thousand yuan. I was really touched when I saw the expression of Xiao Xiao wanting to cry. Fortunately, at least I don't have to subsidize my family.

It is said that some married daughters will inevitably be used as ATMs by their parents and brothers when they get married. My second aunt is a living example. Her parents are rural people to the core. She was admitted to a graduate school in a famous university and went to Shanghai to work hard after getting married. Both of them are rural children, and it is very hard to work hard in Shanghai. Before the heel was firmly established here, my brother in my hometown handed over the lawsuit.

Because of her obsession, my brother was swept away by my partner, and my second uncle immediately called the most promising daughter in the family and asked her to help solve it. This sister was busy looking for a lawyer, but because of insufficient evidence, 200 thousand was finally returned to the bank by her brother within a time limit, otherwise she would go to jail. Parents don't accept the verdict. They don't think the elder sister is trying her best and don't want to spend money to find the best lawyer. She also asked her cousin to help pay her debts.

It's not easy to see your parents so ungrateful, but you can't see your own efforts. This girl is chilling. Finally, the girl took out 50 thousand yuan and let it go. According to my mother, I haven't been back to my hometown since then.

Compared with these two sisters, I am lucky, but there is no denying that the family background of son preference has really brought us a lot of harm. Compared with his colleagues, my cousin is undoubtedly braver. He chose to break off relations with his family.

However, is it really a good choice to break up with parents?

Is cousin really happy to make such a decision?

If you don't do this, is there a better choice?

3 ?

Of course, we can also try to understand them and try to forgive them. ?

Parents are the ones who gave birth to us and raised us. We are children for the first time and they are parents for the first time. Statistics show that even a perfect family can't guarantee that children won't be hurt at all. As our parents, especially those born in a patriarchal environment, it is unrealistic to ask them to be completely unaffected by the environment.

My parents were born in the rural areas of Shandong in the 1950s and 1960s. At that time, girls went to junior high school at most, and then found a husband's family to get married hastily, and all the bride price money was given to their brother or younger brother to marry a wife. My parents are not well educated, but they are convinced that knowledge can change fate, especially for girls. They are inseparable from study and work. When we were young, our family moved to the county for our four children to go to college. I don't think I would be here now if my parents hadn't given my sister and me a chance to go to college and let us get married early.

This year, my mother-in-law had thyroid surgery and needed rest, so she couldn't help us look after the children. My husband and I have to go to work. I didn't expect my parents to readily agree to help us take care of the children. It's the end of the year, and we have to prepare for textual research. In order to give me more time to review, my parents took the baby back to my hometown and went home to take care of it for me.

Now my parents still prefer boys to girls, but I decided to let go of my obsession and choose to forgive them. Because I love them, there is no denying that their preference for sons really makes me miserable, and I even wonder why I was born. But I also know that they love me, just don't know how to love.

Choosing to forgive is actually for ourselves. Many times, we don't forgive our parents, and ultimately we hurt ourselves, because we hate our parents for preferring sons to daughters, and we can't let them go for a long time, but we love them at the same time. This ambivalent mood will make us struggle and suffer. I think it must be very painful for my cousin to make a decision to break up with her parents.

Compared with the two years after graduation, I now learn to put more energy on myself, work hard and make money. With self-confidence, I will refuse my parents' unreasonable demands, such as helping my eldest brother pay the mortgage. Now they know my bottom line and dare not ask too much. Therefore, we should be filial when we are filial, but we should also make clear our attitude at the first time about the unreasonable demands of parents who prefer sons to daughters. Forgiveness does not mean connivance.

As a girl, I have no choice but to come from a family. Parents' preference for boys is deep-rooted, but we should believe that parents love us, but they don't know how to love, so their love is uneven. Choosing to forgive them for preferring sons over daughters does not mean that we acquiesce that this is right. Choosing to forgive is to unload the burden in your heart, learn to accept your parents and family, and accept them and accept yourself.

Finally, we should try our best not to let such a tragedy happen again, and don't let family background become an obstacle to our growth. No matter how good or bad the family is, we will eventually leave it and embrace our beautiful life.

I hope that every girl who grew up in a patriarchal family can put down her obsession and have a beautiful life of her own.