Humorous copy of unhappy people.

1. The alarm clock only woke up my shell, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.

If one day I hack you, it's not that I hate you, but that I can't afford what you sell.

I have two bad habits that bother me. The first bad habit is to sleep naked. B: Nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking.

4. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

5. Teacher: "What is the plural form of Boy?" Student: "Gay."

6. A boy has had a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl, which read: In fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back, which read: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise I will never eat melon seeds in class again! "

7. I wish you a red envelope in the New Year. Open it and write "One more package".

8. Choosing a boss is the same as choosing a wife, which is far from your original dream.

9. I saw you dressed very dirty that day and went to the hospital to see a doctor. The nurse said impatiently: Go for blood test, urine test and stool test! After a while, you hold a pot of shit and say, please, the blood has been swallowed and the urine has been swallowed. I really can't swallow that shit!

10. I didn't know until school started: the farthest distance in the world is only from Monday to Friday.

1 1. Clap your head and chest to make a decision, and make sure that sometimes you need to slap your ass and leave.

12. This classmate sleeps in class. The teacher saw the fire and asked him to solve the problem on the blackboard. Teacher: "It's shameless to dare to sleep in class with such poor grades. Just sleep." As a result, someone solved the problem beautifully. The teacher suddenly felt a little embarrassed. He walked back to his seat and said, "I'll take a nap first." Can you ask me in the future? "

13. Others are worried about how to make money, but I am worried about how to spend it: how to spend 200 yuan until next month 10?

14. If Newton sat under the durian tree, our exam would be much easier.

15. Watch the fans die in the back and turn around to scare off millions of heroes.

16. When God closes a door for you, he will also clamp your brain with the door.

17. When I was shopping with three classmates, a shop assistant at the counter kept watching us laugh, making our hearts tremble, so he went forward and asked, "What are you laughing at?" The salesman said, "A thief just took out your mobile phone, looked at it and probably thought it was too old. He shook his head and put it back in your pocket! " "

18. The classmate's mobile phone was stolen, and we comforted her: "A broken mobile phone, forget it." She said: "What makes people feel distressed is the photos in the mobile phone. Those youths are probably the best memories. " We gave her advice and sent a text message to our mobile phone, telling the thief that as long as the photos in the mobile phone are good, in fact, we know in our hearts that we have given up hope. But unexpectedly, the text message came back soon: "Sorry, it's so ugly, it's all deleted."

19. Don't ask me how I did in the final exam. I can only say that I was burned.

20. Roses are yours, chocolates are yours and diamonds are yours. You, mine!

2 1. You let me down and I gave you no chance to go on stage.

22. If I really can't lose weight, let me grow taller!

If you don't have the money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big that you can't just see it! You can also look around.

24. Love is like a pot of noodles, you have to knead it; Life is a cake, both beautiful and delicious; Marriage is a pot of porridge, you have to cook it slowly; Wife is a pot of pickles, you can't live without it, and you can't stand it if there are too many.