Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Tell a story you can't tell, okay?

Tell a story you can't tell, okay?

I don't know, it's just for publicity!

I share a room with someone else (a man), but I have a habit that I don't like to close the door when taking a shower. My roommates are used to it! The point is, my roommate has a girlfriend.

One day, I opened the door to take a shower as usual, and suddenly there was the voice of my roommate's female ticket in the living room. I brushed it directly and flew to the bathroom door, trying to close the door. As a result, there was a loud bang. Because of the foam, I slipped to the ground ... I don't want to describe the next picture. .......................................................................

Goodbye!

1999, I was an apprentice in a hotel in my hometown of Jiangxi. At that time, the hotel hired a waitress, estimated to be only 16 years old. You can't imagine how low the salary of waiters was at that time, one month 150 yuan, with no rest days.

Anyway, let's call it Xiaoyan's waitress for the time being. When we first saw Xiaoyan, we felt like a green apple, including her body. Slowly, we learned that her father died early and her mother remarried, leaving her and her brother to live with her grandmother. Then I had a younger brother from her village. I have been to their village once, and Xiaoyan's house. Really poor.

During Xiaoyan's work in the hotel, my apprentice and I both wanted to chase Xiaoyan. Xiaoyan rejected us because she was young, and we realized it and didn't continue to entangle.

Xiaoyan probably worked in a restaurant for less than a year, and then went to work in a supermarket. We didn't have much contact with her at that time. I just heard that someone had seen her, changed her dress and put on lipstick.

About two years later, I went shopping with exemptions and saw Xiaoyan selling clothes in a clothing store. We went in and sat down. Xiaoyan in front of us is not the Xiaoyan we know, including physically. Figuratively speaking, when she was sallow and emaciated, she now protrudes forward and backward.

What surprises us is not only the physical changes, but also the ideological changes. After chatting for a long time, Xiaoyan directly asked me and my younger brother to go to their store to buy clothes for her. At that time, my younger brother and I looked at each other, so we ended our chat and quickly left the clothing store.

At that time, my brother and I spoke at the same time. This girl has changed. We don't know each other anymore. We don't want to talk about her anymore. Hey! It is heartbreaking that a blank sheet of paper has dyed such a big dye vat of society like this.

My culture is limited, don't spray if you don't like it! Thank you.

I thought about it, there are some things to say in my life. Since the subject wants to hear it, I might as well talk about it.

There should be two memorable ones, both related to internal emergencies.

It's hard for me to say it, so all my friends should be patient and treat it as a chat after dinner.

Once I drove to Changde with my friends, and I wanted to pee before I went into town. My friend always said, it's almost there, bear with it. Unexpectedly, there were all red lights all the way, and it took a long time to stop and go. The urgency of urinating has been resisted, and it has reached its limit. It's terrible. It's no exaggeration. At an intersection, when you meet a red light again, you really don't care about any image or morality. It's important to save your life. Without saying anything, open the car door directly, no matter whether there is a car in front or behind, and no matter whether there is the opposite sex around you, solve it quickly and quickly. What is particularly embarrassing is that because I have endured it for too long, the amount is still very large. This is known to all and has been confirmed for a long time. It is estimated that everyone who saw it at that time would think that this person was of poor quality and urinated in the street.

Another time was even more embarrassing. I'm really embarrassed to say it. When I was shopping in the supermarket, I suddenly felt diarrhea. I felt hot and thin before I got off the elevator. Fortunately, it was late autumn, and I was wearing jeans, so I could only cover my ass with my hands and walk through the shopping area full of customers step by step, for fear that indecent things would flow out of my trouser legs or the smell would leak. /kloc-the distance of more than 0/00 meters, for me at that time, was like climbing the sky, and I really wanted to have a crack in it. Finally, I went to the bathroom without toilet paper, and finally I didn't even want my pants. I thought, pack up and go home.

After such an experience, I really understand the embarrassment and helplessness brought by people's "three urgency". Not long ago, I watched a surveillance video of a beautiful woman defecating in the elevator, which was condemned by many people as disrespectful. Actually, in my opinion, it should be a helpless move.

I don't know if you feel it, but you can bear it when you are in a hurry, but in the elevator, there is a sense of weightlessness, which is really difficult to control and constantly exciting. Who wants to do such a thing without dignity? Therefore, it is also a lesson. You should go to the bathroom before taking the elevator. If you have your own ideas, don't take chances. You will go home soon. Let's talk about it when you get home. Maybe it's those tens of seconds that will make you embarrassed, ashamed, scolded, laughed at, exposed, maybe.

1. An uncle from our nearby village (let's put it this way for the time being) and another woman (a husband) went to live in the county. Aunt (uncle's wife) did not divorce because of uncle's debt, and lived with her son and two granddaughters. Uncle and woman didn't go home for many years. Uncle and woman gave birth to a son, younger than his youngest granddaughter!

Secondly, in my hometown, there is a 40-year-old elder sister who has a family and children. She usually lives a good life selling tofu with her husband, but after the rise of smart phones, she is addicted to chatting with netizens. Then one time, I really went to see my net friend. My family doesn't know what happened. Anyway, it took many days to come back. I heard that the money is gone. It stopped after a while, and then I began to sell tofu with peace of mind.

3. A couple who raised cattle in the village next door watched his daughter-in-law unkempt and smelly every day. I told my mother that she could bear hardships. Later, my mother told me that the woman was married before, with a good family and children at home, and now she ran away with this person and left her at home. The point is that her life is bad, and now the man still beats her.

Fourth, we have a restaurant owner here. After working for a few years, he used some spare money to find a good one outside, brought it back and showed his cards to the original match, saying that he didn't want anything, leaving the house and restaurant to women. That is, a popular word at the beginning and now, leaving home is clean. The original match said that we have been together for so many years, and now we are old, so let's try to live together. This attempt has been going on for several years, and until now, it is almost ruined by the three views.

Where I work, a female colleague goes to work with me. She lives not far from my home. Later, for convenience, I took her to work together.

She is in a hurry at work. She often calls me or looks for me on WeChat video. My wife heard it in bed and asked who it was, so I told her about my colleague, but she was jealous a little too often. She wouldn't let me take her to work two days before dreaming that she had sex with her. It's strange that I never thought about it.

I spent my childhood in the countryside and returned to the city with my parents at the age of nine. When I was eight years old, I went to the village primary school in the east of the village. Although I am two years older than my brother, he is in my class.

The head teacher is a woman in her twenties, pure and beautiful, and an educated youth from the city to the countryside. She was strict, and she made a mistake. The penalty station is small and corporal punishment is cruel. Now I think about it for our own good, but I didn't understand it then.

In the center of the blackboard at the front desk, there is a table, a chalk box in the upper right corner and a pointer next to it. When she finished writing on the blackboard with chalk, she held a pointer in her hand and read the words on the pointer. This pointer is also useful. If anyone is naughty in class, the teacher will call the disruptive classmate to her side and let her reach out. The teacher dragged his hand with his left hand and tapped the board with a pointer in his right hand. I've been hit, and it really hurts to hit my palm. Under the arrogance of this pointer, the students are much more restrained.

From the southeast corner of the school, not far from the hillside, there is a lake about three or four feet square. The incoming water flows down the mountain stream and into the lake. Slowly flowing out in the north and south branches, the water potential hits the river stone above the water surface and makes a sound. Near the shore of the lake, there is a huge stone, brown and smooth as a mirror. Corn is planted by the lake, hidden in the blue gauze barrier that fluctuates with the terrain.

At noon on Sunday, my brother and I went to the mountains to collect firewood and walked through the cornfields. The voice of a woman singing in the distance is euphemistic and crisp, which is an episode of White-haired Girl. Looking for songs, at the end of the green gauze barrier, stood a woman in the lake. This woman is naked, with two towering peaks and a flat belly. Facing me, taking a bath in the lake. We are busy hiding in the lush forest, squatting on the ground and looking around. This woman is my head teacher. On the protruding rock next to her, there is a wooden basin. She was covered with soap and her hands rubbed against her. The waist swings from side to side, and the beauty can't be square. She leaned down and drew water from the washbasin, stood up and poured it on her head. The water ran down her body and washed away the soap bubbles, which was even more beautiful and moving.

Clothes were scattered on the boulder on the shore. I whispered to my brother, "Let's hide her clothes, let her worry and get back at her for hitting her hand." My brother nodded in agreement. I leaned forward, leaned against the stone, packed my clothes, crept back to the cornfield, crumpled my clothes and hid them under a big elm tree. I left the cornfield with my brother, walked to the hillside, climbed over the hillside, which was the reservoir in the village, and had a good time in the reservoir. On the hillside not far from the water, there is a jujube forest. I picked some ripe fruits there and sat under the tree to eat them. It's hot and a little tired. I lay on the grass and looked at the clouds like cotton wool in the sky. I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was already afternoon, and I went back the same way.

Suddenly I heard a woman sobbing, and my brother said, "No, there is a ghost. Still a female ghost. " Walking to the lake, a woman sat on a stone, covered her face with her hands, her shoulders trembled and she was crying. That's not my head teacher. Who is it? I glanced at my brother and then walked to the teacher. I was so proud that I pretended to see him. "Teacher, what's the matter with you?" When the teacher heard the sound, he turned sharply and scolded, "Who?" But seeing her pear flowers bring rain, delicate and touching. Seeing that it was us, he quickly said, "The teacher's clothes are gone. Isn't it shameful to go back to the village naked What can I do? " I said, "wolves often appear at this time. It is likely that they took them away." When she heard that there was a wolf, she turned pale with fear and said eagerly, "Look around quickly, you two." If I can't find it, Jianguo will stay here with me, and Jianmin will go to your house to borrow a suit. At least I have to go back. "The younger brother said," Teacher, it hurts to hit your hand! "The teacher touched his head and said," The teacher promised not to hit your hand in the future. You also have to promise not to say anything about today. Oh, what a pity. " Pink face, dizzy cheeks, unspeakable beauty and moving.

We pretended to look around, and after about half an hour, we took out the clothes hidden in the bushes. I shouted, "teacher, I found it." Run to the teacher's side, pass the clothes with both hands and say, "I'm afraid the wolf really took it away." I found it in a cave with wolf hair in it. I don't know if there is any on the clothes. "

The teacher cast a grateful look, put on his clothes, and the three teachers and students stepped towards the village entrance.

Say something you can't say!

In life, things that are hard to say may happen. But I'm really embarrassed to say something difficult.

I was only six years old. Na Yue is a cold winter month.

My mother and I went to see my grandmother, who was ill for more than five years and stayed in bed for more than two years.

My mother took me by bus first, and then took the country road. It's been almost four hours, and I've seen grandma's house-the mud brick house in the mountain bay ahead.

Mom asked me to have a rest, and then mom said she wanted me to promise her something.

Mother took out a nylon bag in the cloth bag, and there was an oil paper bag in the nylon bag. Mom said: There are four shortcakes in the oiled paper bag!

I heard the sound of my swallowing. Crispy cakes are only delicious during the New Year!

Mom asked me to promise, and grandma wouldn't even give me a bite! Mom said grandma would not live for a few days. ...

I held back my tears and nodded to my mother.

Grandma's house arrived, and in front of her bed, I met her skinny grandmother.

When my mother was talking to my grandmother, she took out a shortcake that made my eyes shine.

Grandma wants to give me two, but mom strongly disagrees. Mom wants me to play outside.

I reluctantly came out of grandma's room and went to play by the pond.

Playing by the pond, staring at my grandmother's house, I finally saw my mother and cousin coming out and walking to the village. I know my mother wants to buy painkillers for my grandmother.

I ran to grandma's house happily and went into grandma's room. I whispered to grandma.

Grandma didn't promise me, but she purred softly.

I saw the shortbread in the carton next to grandma's head! I swallowed again. Without much hesitation, I took the shortbread. ...

Under the stone behind grandma's house, I quickly ate three shortcakes! I felt uneasy and guilty, but I was soon conquered by the delicious shortbread. ...

Mom came back and asked grandma if the shortbread was delicious. Grandma said that she would eat anything delicious.

I felt guilty when I approached. ...

In the middle of the night, there was a loud cry from my mother in my grandmother's room!

Dear grandma left us forever!

In those years when I was growing up, at my grandmother's grave, my mother told me that my grandmother loved studying in poor childhood and adolescence, but she dropped out of school. She worked hard for a big family when she was young and suffered from illness in her later years. ...

How many times, I shed a lot of tears and cried. ...

My mother hugged me, and she didn't know that I was not only sad, but also deeply sorry!

This is a story in my heart that I can never tell my mother.

I didn't know until I grew up that my grandmother was in pain and couldn't sleep. My grandmother snores for me.

I stole those three shortcakes!

When you are alive, sometimes a little thing that is hard to say will make you regret it for life.

Every year in Tomb-Sweeping Day, I put three shortcakes on my grandma's grave!

I haven't eaten shortbread since grandma died. Mom asked me, and I couldn't say why. ...

Mancun, a remote mountain village. It is more than ten kilometers away from the town, which is not very lucky for people who grew up in mountain villages. But it is quite far for normal people, and it is difficult for people who are not used to the rugged mountain roads here to walk.

Because of its remote location, few people know that there is such a village. There are dozens of families in the village, and the ratio of male to female is three to one. Because most men in backward villages can't get married, women are particularly prominent here, which is a rare product.

My sister and I were born and raised in this village. My name is Wang Jing. I just turned eighteen this year. My sister Wang Qi is three years younger than me, and she is fifteen years old this year. Our two sisters depend on each other, and our survival depends on the help of the villagers. Grew up after eating a hundred meals. Unfortunately, when I was ten years old, my parents both left in an accident, leaving me and my seven-year-old sister behind. I don't even know how I got through it. Maybe the existence of my little sister gave me motivation.

I have been helping the villagers since then, just for a change, so that my sister and I can have a meal. Either go up the mountain to collect herbs or do farm work, because this is the only income in the village. The medicine collected or recovered from the grain harvest will be given to the strong man in the village to go to the town to pick it up and exchange money. Now that my sister is fifteen, she can work with me. At this age, she should go to town to study. My sister sometimes really feels useless and can only make her not hungry.

Few people can go to school in this town. In our remote mountain village, only the son of the village chief has the conditions to go to school, which is the only one who can be regarded as the pride of the village. The son of the village chief is Wang Zheng, the same age as my sister, and he is 15 years old this year. Perhaps because of the conditions, he looks much more mature and clean than his peers. He likes my sister to come to my house every time she comes home, and usually brings some candy back from town for my sister.

This king is my sister's only friend. Although my sister is only fifteen years old, she is very sensible and obedient. She looks cute with a ponytail. In order to let my sister study, I asked the village chief if he could go to town to get some books for my sister to read. Usually, Wang Zheng came back to teach his sister some basic literacy, and the village chief readily agreed, which may be the reason why Wang Zheng loves Qiqi.

In this way, every time Wang Zheng comes back, she comes to my tutor Kiki to study. My sister seems to be very talented and will soon be able to write basic fonts on paper. It looks like the handwriting is crooked, but Wang Zheng says he can see what it says. I haven't read the book, and I can't understand it. Just like Wang Zheng said.

Seeing my sister's progress, I am also happy for her. I haven't asked my sister how to work since she wanted to study. As long as she has time, I will let her study. People in the village like their sisters very much, especially the men who always like to come to Doby. Maybe because of this, they all take care of our sisters. My sister is a lively and cheerful person, and I have never seen her in a bad mood. She is a born clown.

However, I have been seeing her unhappy these two days, and I have been like this since I went out to play with Wang Zheng that night. I didn't eat much rice. At first, I thought my sister was ill and called the local doctor in the village to see her. The doctor said there was nothing wrong and I was not sick, which surprised me. My sister has never been like this. I asked her what happened to Kiki, and my sister didn't say much. She only replied that my sister was fine.

Seeing her like this, I was in a hurry and ran to the village head's house to find Wang Zheng. I don't see anyone else. The village chief said falteringly that Wang Zheng was ill and sleeping. I had to go home when I heard that. My sister has been like this all her life, and she looks unhappy. I was distressed when I saw it, but I couldn't ask her. Since then, Wang Zheng hasn't come to see Wang Qi, nor have the villagers who usually love their sisters come to my house.

I felt a little strange when I went out to see them always avoiding me, but I didn't think much. My sister is very strange these days. She always goes to town with young people who choose food for sale. Every time he goes out, his sister always goes out with him on the grounds that he wants to see more outside. This is a good thing, and I didn't say much.

. This young man's name is Wang Fan, and he likes his sister very much at ordinary times. This man is honest and diligent, and he basically picks the crops in the village. Today, he is the only one who came to the British authority. They are always whispering something in the room. After that, Wang Fan came to my house, and my sister was never happy again. I'm glad to see that, too.

I came back very late today because I had to go up the mountain to collect medicine. It was already seven o'clock in the evening when I got home. I didn't see Kiki when I got home. I called several times and didn't hear a response, so I went to my room. .

I will never forget a scene. A petite girl is still lying in bed with blood on her wrist. Seeing this, the whole person almost fainted and shouted at Kiki. But no matter how I called my lovely sister, no one answered.

I cried, crying hysterically. Who can understand how lonely and sad I am at this moment? How can my sister spend the same youth leaving in this way, my good sister, what have you experienced? Why didn't you tell your sister? I just cried. But who can give me an answer? I held a funeral for Kiki in a miserable village. My sister left. My dearest and cutest sister is gone. I think I will leave this sad place too. While sorting out Kiki's belongings, I found a note with crooked handwriting on it. Yes, I know this is Kiki's handwriting. Tears fell unconsciously when I saw the note. Sister. .

I can't read, so I called the village chief. The village chief comforted me and took the note and looked at it. The village chief's face suddenly changed, and his whole face became distorted and looked particularly ferocious. I found something wrong, so I asked, what happened to the village chief? What did Kiki write on the note? Hearing this, the village chief's expression soon changed. Oh ... Oh ... Nothing. This is what Kiki practiced before. I didn't think much about it.

The village chief said goodbye to me and left in a hurry. Seeing his anxious pace, he almost fell down. Looking at my sister's legacy, I can't sleep, thinking about the days I spent with her, thinking about Coco's loving face, thinking about petite but sensible and smart figure. Looking at the brighter sky, it is already five o'clock in the morning. Suddenly a loud noise broke my mind. I was shocked and my body trembled. Look at the source of the sound. .

This is where Kiki was buried. I ran out at once. I was scared silly when I saw it. Kiki's grave lay all kinds of mutilated bodies, bloody. Strangely, these bodies are all men, who usually like to tease Kiki. Among them are the village chief and Wang Zheng.

This is incredible. The whole scene is particularly weird and terrible. What the hell is going on here? I just stood there. After investigation, it was found that all these people were killed alive by explosives. And those explosives were put by Wang Fan. Every time Kiki goes out with him, she wants these. So my sister's accident was definitely not an ordinary accident, but a conspiracy.

Wang Fan knows what happened to her sister. Is dorri helping her sister or planning with her? Later, I found Wang Fan and realized that it turned out to be like this. It turned out that the note left by Kiki read: Sister, I'm sorry, please forgive me for doing this. They won't let me tell you, and even you will be pardoned. I'm really scared. I really dare not tell you. They are animals. They are animals, not people. I hate them.

Finally, sister, I'm sorry. Please don't be sad. I wrote everything on a piece of paper and asked Wang Fan to put it in my grave. I can't be calm for a long time. It turns out that Kiki left a note for the village chief on purpose. She knew I couldn't read it, so she must have called the village chief.

The village chief was afraid that things would be exposed, so he asked the people involved in the crime to dig up the list and destroy it in advance. So they were all blown up by explosives, so these people are all people who violated their sisters. My Kiki, you have experienced such a nightmare, and I ... Looking at the gray sky and letting the rain hit my face, it was so quiet. It's raining harder and harder, as if there were some kind of noise.

I liked a boy at school. I was in the same class for six years in primary school. I liked playing with him at first, but I don't know when I began to like him. Up to now, it has been twenty years. At school, he studies well, has a good personality and looks good in my eyes. Every time I see him, I blush and my heart beats. In the third grade, we were assigned to the same class again. I was so excited that I stayed up all night and had a row of seats. But I don't feel anything, and I don't want to have a holiday at all. After the senior high school entrance examination, we went to two different high schools, and I went to the city. He is in the county seat, far away, but I still inquired about his class and wrote to him. Although the content is official, I didn't mention how happy I was to receive the reply. In this way, after the college entrance examination, although he scored high, he did not get into an ideal university and went to Xi 'an to repeat his studies. But I went to an ordinary second school in another city, so we lost contact. We didn't get in touch again until he was admitted to the university. But because of my inferiority, he went to a key university, and I still dare not confess. After graduating from college, I worked as a teacher in a rural high school in the west, and he went to Shanghai to engage in IT. The distance between us is getting bigger and bigger, knowing that we can't, I met me now. He got married three years later, and we all became a family. Although we occasionally exchange greetings on WeChat now, we are still very excited. I often dream about him at night, dreaming that we are together, and waking up is another sleepless night. I know I shouldn't, and I don't know if he was in my position, but this feeling is really precious to me. I just hope that everything will be safe and smooth in his later days!

In my family, I am the boss, and I have a sister and three younger brothers. My sister and I are both married. The eldest brother is looking for a rural daughter-in-law, and the second brother is looking for a native of this city. He is just my eldest brother, looking for a rural daughter-in-law. Because my brother has hepatolenticular degeneration, that is to say, he is normal and lacks a pigment, so he is shivering, eating hard and being hospitalized for observation. Later, when he went to work, I don't know how to lie in the Nanhu Woods in the morning. The unit gave him a holiday money to treat my brother like this. Later, Big Brother and Big Sister sold bingo. I heard that my eldest brother spent the bingo coupons and his daughter-in-law came to my house to make them. The wall was covered with blood. After I learned about it, I didn't have a good impression on me at first.

Tell me that my brother has a formal job and still works in Nanhu. You must find my home. How could you do this to my home? Our parents are kind-hearted and don't have much mind. A few years later, his wife went to the hospital to see a doctor and took all the doctors home. Later, when I came to my house, I said I knew what I was and I couldn't go back to the countryside. She was honest for many days.

However, in April of the following year, my brother was lost. I dreamed that my brother told us that he was tied up by three people and pushed to South Lake. He asked me to save him again and again. I began to have a toothache the next day. I can't stand the pain. I hurried home and asked what had happened. My mother cried as soon as I asked. My brother really lost me. I rode my bike around South Lake, but I didn't see my brother's. When I got home, I had this dream again and again. The whole family had this dream and had a toothache.

In May, there was a thunder. After a while, my brother's body was shaken. My father told me that after Shao found his brother's body, I found a car at work to send him to the funeral home for a few days. My brother died miserably, with blisters on his face and his eyes open. He told us that when I died, I had a crooked tooth and was killed by someone.

After decades, I always want to find out what happened at that time. It has been said that these three people have no good news, and even if my family doesn't look for him, they will give away the clues. The dead man finally held his sister in his arms. This job was fired by the leader my father found. But my brother's death can't be in vain. God will repay them.