How can a man save an unfaithful marriage?

I arrived at the airport at five o'clock in the morning, thinking of going home and changing clothes first, but I didn't expect to bump into another woman and her husband lying in my wedding bed! I collapsed on the spot and couldn't say a word!

My husband and I have been married for seven years. When I chose him as my marriage partner, I just thought he was ugly, honest and kind to me, so I shouldn't betray him. Over the years, he has been really kind to me and patient with children. I told him to go out and report everything, and I did. For seven years, I checked my husband's mobile phone almost every day and never found anything unusual; So after it happened for a long time, I was dizzy and always hoped that everything was a dream.

Husband is an ordinary middle school teacher; And I am a project manager of a big company, and my income is five times that of my husband. Moreover, my physical condition is much better than his; Others thought he was looking for me; But I think loyalty to marriage and a stable life are more important than anything else. My own biological father had a successful career, but he found a beautiful young mistress to have a son and abandoned me and my mother.

But everything that morning broke my dream. I had planned to travel for a week, but the leader called me back in an emergency. I didn't expect to meet this embarrassing scene as soon as I entered the room. What's more, I learned afterwards that my husband and that woman have been together for two years, and they are all contacted by email.

My husband said that being with me was too depressing and not free. And that woman is very gentle; But he is reluctant to part with this family and children and is willing to break up with that woman. Let me give him some time. I said yes. But when I think about it, I collapse. I keep asking him why he cheated, and why he didn't say anything if he was dissatisfied with me. Repeated torture, my husband said that he was very tired and wanted to give up; That woman has been pestering me. Teacher Xu Chuan, I don't want a divorce. What should I do?

Xu Chuan: Madam, I understand your feelings. You chose a husband whose appearance and economic conditions are not as good as your own, because you feel at ease that he can be loyal to marriage and will not betray you. Over the years, you have been on strict guard, and he has been very kind to you; How can you possibly think that the fact is: he has been cheating for two years! It's hard for you to accept this fact. Do you want to know why? You wish nothing had happened! But the husband said that he was tired and wanted to give up this marriage; You have too much sadness, injustice and anger; But afraid of really losing this marriage.

I know you want to keep a complete home for yourself and your children; Then the first step you need to do is to accept your husband's empathy. You have been pestering your husband about why he cheated and why he can't solve the problem in another way. In fact, it is hard to accept the fact that he is looking forward. You are in pain, but at present, your husband feels tired and your mistress is still pestering you. If you continue to dwell on this problem, you will only end this marriage by yourself.

Since you don't want a divorce, the first thing to do now is to endure the pain and join hands with your husband to drive the third party out of your marriage first. Since the husband is willing to break up with the third party, you must stand by and support and encourage him firmly until he completely breaks up with the third party. If you can't accept the fact that he has moved on and keep pestering him about why, you are actually taking care of the infighting between husband and wife, just giving a third party a chance. You should prioritize, deal with external contradictions first, and then deal with internal contradictions.

Why did you cheat? My husband actually told you. Being with you is too depressing and not free, and Xiaosan is very gentle; You may not be able to accept it; I think it's no big deal just to ask my husband to report his whereabouts. But in fact, this distrust itself will seriously destroy the intimacy between two people before, and make the partner feel pressure.

For you, there is actually a natural distrust of your partner, which is the trauma brought by your family and comes from your father's betrayal experience. If this kind of trauma and distrust cannot be repaired, even if you find a safe man who looks honest and reliable, you can't relax; And your distrust will eventually lead to your husband's real betrayal. If you want to change this model, you can trust me privately and I will teach you how to do it.