Why do people in China attach so much importance to family values?

There is an old saying in China that "everything is prosperous at home". Although the composition of each family is similar, the life of each family is different. Tolstoy said well that happy families are always similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. So how can we find those similar basic rules of happiness? How can I make my life better?

In fact, what China's philosophy values most is the ethical relationship in the family. In A Brief History of Chinese Philosophy, Mr. Feng Youlan said that ancient Greece was a city-state and China was a state-like society. In ancient times, there was a saying of "four people", that is, "scholars, agriculture, industry and commerce".

"Scholar" refers to college students, that is, scholars. "Everything is inferior, only reading is high", so "scholar" ranks first. The word "yes" is like a person standing upright on the ground with his legs together. Scholars have the ambition to govern the country, and when they are officials, they are called "scholar-officials"; When he is not an official, he is also a "scholar". After becoming a doctor, his original values will not change. So such people rank first.

The second place is "agriculture". China is a big agricultural country, and agriculture is the foundation of the country. The so-called "granary knows etiquette" and "food is the most important thing for the people". Whether there is enough food determines the stability of society and the stability of the people. China's tradition is to value agriculture over commerce, and "industry" ranks third, and "commerce" ranks last, because China people's concept is to praise nature, and condemn the ingenuity of many people, and think that a simple life that conforms to the weather is a good life.

In the past, many old houses had "plow and read" plaques hanging on the lintels. A family should not only farm, support their families and make a living; We should also read sage books and be familiar with morality, propriety and righteousness. The truth in books is combined with the truth in work, which is China's home country system.

In Confucianism and patriarchal society, there are five kinds of relationships between people, namely, monarch and minister, father and son, couple, brother and friend. Among these five relationships, there are three family relationships: father and son, husband and wife, and brother. The other two compare the relationship between monarch and minister to that between father and son, and the relationship between friends to that between brothers. In other words, the five virtues of China's feudal society for thousands of years are based on family relations.

Confucianism and Taoism are the main components of China's philosophical system. In fact, Confucianism and Taoism are also a balanced group. Confucianism and Taoism complement each other and their spirit complements each other. Confucianism, represented by Confucius, pays more attention to Zoroastrianism, while Taoism, represented by Laozi and Zhuangzi, pays more attention to nature. Confucianism attaches great importance to the responsibility of joining the WTO, while Taoism attaches great importance to the freedom of birth. Therefore, there is a balance between China's entry into WTO and its birth, and between social and natural. People should be born with the heart to do things, with more responsibilities and less resentment. This balanced wisdom is probably a good state.

Balance is a kind of relationship, which is "harmony" in today's words. Family relations, enlarged is social relations. Although the relationship between monarch and minister in Wu Lun no longer exists, the relationship between father and son, husband and wife, brother and friend still exists. Family is the core of society and the most basic origin of ethics. It is actually the traditional morality of China people to regard agriculture as the foundation, value harmony, be proud of morality, and regard all these things in ethical relations as the hub of relations.

There is a special situation in China today, that is, many families have only one child. More and more financial resources and energy are invested in children's education, and children have more and more knowledge. However, we can't lose the family education and manners of China people.

China is a country of etiquette, and etiquette is the most important education. In the process of a person's growth, each stage of learning has different emphasis. There is a saying in the Book of Rites University: "The ancient desire is obviously superior to the world, and the country should be ruled first; If you want to govern your country, you should first get your family together; If you want to reunite with your family, you should first repair your body; If you want to cultivate yourself, you should be upright first; If you want to be correct, be sincere first; Those who want sincerity, the prophet, and know the case. " There are eight different stages in life, namely, respecting things, knowing, being honest, being upright, cultivating one's morality, keeping one's family in order, governing the country and leveling the world. The first five stages of these eight stages are actually about a person's cultivation at home.

Why do even farmers have to study? Why can farming and reading be passed down from family to family? Because if you don't study and don't understand knowledge, how can you understand the world? And if a person has no sincerity and integrity, how can he cultivate himself? Without self-cultivation, how can you keep your home together?

Only when you see things through, have knowledge, sincerity, integrity, self-cultivation and family order in place, go out to the society and meet good opportunities, can you realize your life ambition of governing the country and leveling the world. Therefore, China has a saying, "If you don't sweep a room, why sweep the world?" How can a person who can't even clean up his own home talk about governing the country and leveling the world?

The word "Qi" in Qijia looks like a grain seedling sticking out its ear, so Shuo Wen Jie Zi says: "The grain and wheat sticking out its ear are flat and pictographic." "Qi" means consistency and neatness. Qijia's "qi" is the experience of farming civilization, and the seedlings that are brushed together look prosperous. The word "Qi" should also be said at home. Everyone has his own responsibility, everyone respects the order at home, and Qi Xin works together.

Nowadays, many only children are brought up from generation to generation and taken care of by grandparents. Nowadays, children study hard and go to various preschool classes at the age of three or four; In primary school, the schoolbag was not carried on the back, but a small suitcase was used to pull a lot of homework home. Old people care about their peers, and children take care of them when they go to school; After school, I went into the house with chopped fruit and delicious drinks; Hungry, there is food to be served in time. It doesn't matter if you eat the rest. Grandparents help clean up. This is the normal state of many families now.

In fact, according to the past rules of China people, the younger generation can't move chopsticks before the old man goes to the table. Now the children eat casually, and the rest of the family cleans up the leftovers. Of course, it is understandable to love children, but as a family, it is not "tidy" because it breaks the rules. Grandparents serve the growing little emperor and princess. Who will take care of him when he enters the university dormitory? After graduation, who will take him as the center when entering the society and taking part in the work? Children who have been spoiled since childhood can easily form a huge psychological imbalance after entering the society, because the previous life pattern has been broken. How to let children participate in life with a healthy attitude? We should return to the word "qi" in the family, and the family should have rules and order.

The cover above the word "home" is called "rice" in the radical. This "meter" is an pictographic character, and Shuo Wen Jie Zi is interpreted as "crossing a deep house". Look at this "Bao Gai". This is a very high circular roof supported by two pillars. In banpo village over 4000 BC, there was such a house, which was much earlier in shape than a square house.

Home is everything, so let's start with the word "home" and talk about what kind of family concept is hidden in Chinese characters related to home under the hood.

Shuo Wen Jie Zi says: "Home is home." Home is where we live. Look from the font, the top is the hijab, and the bottom is the word "tapir". There is a little pig at home. In fact, in some ethnic minority areas, pigs can still be seen at the bottom of the diaojiao building. So, why not raise cattle and sheep, but pigs? I remember when I was a child, there was a cross talk called "Pigs are Treasures". Since ancient times, pigs have been domestic animals with relatively low feeding cost but high income, and they are also easy to domesticate. Therefore, a family does not need to raise cattle and horses, as long as it can raise pigs, this is a well-off level, and the life of this family can be stable.

It can be seen from the earliest word "home" that China people's family life is a typical small wealth, that is, peace, not seeking great wealth, great wealth and great wealth. People and animals can live in harmony under the same roof. In the rural areas in the past, the typical picture of many people was that there were two pigs in the pigsty and several old hens in the yard, and the swill after washing dishes was used to feed the pigs. Such a day will make you feel a simple warmth.

Judging from the past family building structure, there are "halls" and "rooms" at home. There is an idiom called "entering the room", so what is the relationship between "hall" and "room"?

"Indoor and outdoor hall" In the Ming Shi written by Liu Qian in the Eastern Han Dynasty, it said: "The room is solid and the words are full." "Inner room" refers to people and things. People in China don't like to show off their wealth. In the past, people didn't go online to bask in their luxury cars and mansions like people now, but lived secretly. There are things, wealth and people in the inner room, which is called "full"

Let's look at the word "don" again. "Hall" refers to the living room now, which used to be called "Hall". There is an adjective called "bright". Why should the living room be bright? Because it is a public place, and the "room" should be a little private. Therefore, China people think that "outdoor is a hall and indoor is a room", which is clearly divided. This "hall" and "room" have always been the lifestyle of China people.

There is also a word called "direction", which is very different from today's word. Let's look at the fonts of ancient Chinese characters. A small window opened under the hood. What an image! Shuo Wen Jie Zi said: "Xiang, North Out." The window facing north is facing. Today we say that a person is too dizzy to find the north. He can't find the north, but he can't find the direction. Many people are used to setting various goals for themselves, but it is easy to ignore the importance of direction. In fact, in this life, not every clearly set goal can be achieved accurately, and the direction is often more important than the goal. With the general direction, and then set goals, it will be more targeted and more flexible. People can't lose their way, which is what the word "Xiang" tells us, because it is the light that shines through the window.

There are some more interesting ideas, such as the word "peace". The word "an" has a woman under the cover. Look from the glyph, is a woman kneeling in the room, this home is "safe". Then what is "Ning"? In simplified Chinese characters, a tripod is added under the cover, while in traditional Chinese characters, Ning means that there is a tripod under the cover. First, there is a pile full of food, and then there is a big tray filled with food on the pile to set a heart, called "Ning".

I often talked to my daughter when she was a child. I said, look at the word "an", and the woman at home will be "an". The daughter said that it would be "better" to have a man at home. That's not how I explained the word "Ning". In its traditional Chinese character structure, the word "Ding" has food and needs peace of mind. But my daughter said, I think this is true, too. When a family has a mother, everyone will be "safe"; If you have a father, everyone will be "Ning". Later, I thought about it and wanted to understand it according to simple thinking. The daughter's statement also makes sense. In other words, under the roof of "home", the most important thing is that someone is safe.