Find yourself first, then find a partner

I have a life coaching client. The most important problem he came to me to solve was to find his ideal lover. He said that for this matter, he put his entire life on hold. He dislikes his job very much, but he feels that only when he finds a stable partner can he have the energy to think about career matters again. Ask him what he likes most in this life. He refuses to discuss any of these issues because he feels that if he does not solve the current primary problem of love, he will have no intention to do anything else. In order to quickly find his The ideal lover puts everything on pause.

But the reality is that when you are in such a state of urgency and lack, you cannot find an ideal lover. The result is this. I asked him how long he has been in this state now - —Almost ten years! The more you search, the more anxious you become, and the more anxious you are, the less likely you are to find the right one. If you can’t find it, you will go astray, and you will attract all kinds of people, which will waste your time for several years. Then as I got older, I became more anxious, and looking back, I seemed to have accomplished nothing.

?I also have a case of a successful entrepreneur. She came up with a way to solve problems, invested a lot of money, mobilized a team and various network tools to extensively recruit ideal people for herself. However, she ended up spending a lot of money. She met some people who either wanted money or sex, or they used money and sex to seduce her. As a result, she made a lot of money with random people, wasted time, and was still with different people. Being wronged in different ways. Because of the hurt in my relationship, I started to drink heavily and developed physical problems. Gradually, when my business was not going well, I became more anxious every day, and then I almost started to fall into depression. Looking back, it seems that I have failed in many things and am living in uncertainty. There is nothing that I can think of in my life, which makes me very depressed. Then I got a little more energetic and thought about which network to use, what kind of tools, and what kind of matching services to use to find a more ideal lover for me...

I believe these two Each example seems familiar. An important dilemma for such people is that they think that finding the ideal lover is the answer to all aspects of their lives. In fact, on the contrary, the manifestation of the ideal lover is a mirror of all the success in other aspects of their life.

I like to solve problems from the ultimate level, which is to gain an insight into: who created this reality, and how to change this external reality from the inside. If we solve the problem from this height, we must realize that there are actually two major laws operating in it. If you ignore these two major laws, you will go in the opposite direction and fall into a dilemma that will never be extricated.

?The two laws are: first, the law of attraction, and second, the definition of success.

Yes, the Law of Attraction! This is a basic law of the universe, vibrating at the same frequency, and it is also the law of manifestation. What is inside us, and the experiences and environments around us that we manifest are consistent with the vibration frequency of our inner energy.

The ultimate wisdom of the Law of Attraction, the Abrahamic Wisdom, uses a vivid metaphor, that is, each of us has different energy vibration frequencies, and we live at different energy space levels. I liken it to a building. When your own energy vibration is very low, you will be on the first or second floor, or even in the basement. You will not be able to meet the noble, happy, and noble people you value. Abundant, happy, and beautiful people, because those people are on the tenth level or even higher. In fact, this question is very simple. When you are not in a good state, you must also know that you are not in a good state. Tell me, if you want to find a partner, can you like yourself now? If not, then those people you like will not like you either. What’s even more terrifying is that with your current energy vibration frequency, you probably won’t be able to meet those high-vibration people. You're in the basement all day long, and all you have to deal with are cockroaches and rats.

So, how to judge the level of energy status? This is the ultimate wisdom of the law of attraction, a very basic concept of Abrahamic wisdom. It can be seen from our daily emotional feelings. If a person is in a low mood and his mind is full of negative emotions, he will be dissatisfied with others. The sun's heart is full of entanglements, pessimism, indifference, and hostility, and the energy vibration frequency of such a person is very low.

Often the more people like this, it will be difficult for their external lives to go smoothly. No matter how high their social status is or how much wealth they have, their persistent inner low vibration frequency will inevitably manifest disaster. Disputes, diseases and other unhappy life appear.

A person who lacks an energy vibration perspective and chooses and attracts a spouse based on many external things such as appearance, wealth, background, etc., they will also attract those who have low aesthetics and only see appearance. People who are there. One day, the hardships of life and further understanding will expose each other's inner basement, which will inevitably lead to bad experiences for each other.

I think the encounter of romantic love is like the energy of butterflies and bees meeting flowers. It is an energy state of attracting and being attracted, appreciating each other, and celebrating together. If this is the case, think about it, according to the law of attraction, a person is entangled in negative emotions all day long, fighting against cockroaches and mice, and is entangled in negative emotions such as disease, disputes, betrayal, sadness, fear, lack, etc. How can a person with the aroma of energy attract butterflies and bees?

So, my suggestion is that in order to have a beautiful love, you must first make yourself beautiful. In order to meet your ideal lover, you must first make yourself ideal. What your own energy state is, what you attract can only match you. If you don't like yourself right now, you won't like him/her you meet.

Don’t expect the person you find to save you, because the kind of person you can find is equivalent to your current energy vibration. On the surface, he may want to comfort and compensate you in terms of wealth or emotion, but if he looks for your other half with an exchange mentality and a dependence mentality, what he finds will definitely not be the saint of unconditional love, because he is made by you. Manifested by one's own energy vibration frequency. You should know that the conditions you take in exchange are likely to be things you do not intend to give up, such as freedom, dignity, independence, etc.

Yes, the law of attraction is at work at all times.

The second rule is the definition of success. There are indeed many people who are very successful in their careers and have a lot of wealth, but one shortcoming is that they have not found their ideal lover.

I have encountered many such cases. This success in the eyes of others and the success he said in words is not recognized in his heart, which means that he lacks deep love and acceptance for himself. . This is very scary. A person who feels that he is not good enough and is always troubled by the anxiety of not being successful enough will have a very low sense of happiness at the moment. No matter how resourceful or talented she seems to others, Reasons to be happy and joyful.

For a person who does not accept himself, who sees nothing as good enough, and who is very negative, it will be difficult for him to see people who he thinks can truly meet his conditions, and it will also be difficult for him to attract people who think he is good enough. People, this is because the law of attraction is at work. The key to the operation of the Law of Attraction in this situation is that love attracts love, and love for yourself attracts love from others for you. If you don't love yourself and use other people's labels and prices to prove how worthy of love you are, you will never find the satisfaction and happiness of love.

Here, the definition of success must include loving yourself, truly believing that your life is successful and complete, and truly believing that your inner self is worthy of being loved.

Those who only have the so-called external labels of success but not the above-mentioned internal signs of success. Before looking for ideal love, you must first find your truly successful self and fall in love with yourself. .

Therefore, if your important life goal now is to find a beautiful love, I suggest that you work hard on self-growth. First find and become the ideal self, fall in love with yourself, and realize your talents. And pride is that you can feel the joy of every moment and be full of happiness. Before you realize this, it is really the opposite for you to find another person outside to help you realize these wonderful things. Because what you can’t find, who you are determines who you will meet.

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