There is an urgent need for funny scripts about college students' psychological recruitment

People: college students, chairman, secretary.

Props: paper, pen, mobile phone.

C: I graduated from college for three and a half years, and now I am fooling around outside. I heard that Kim is looking for a foreman, and his annual salary and working hours are all interviewed. You can't miss this opportunity!

Don't be too shabby when you go out. Take a luxury taxi and charge a lot of money. The traffic jam stopped and we had to walk a mile and a half. Fifty dollars was wasted. Hey, audience, I'm really exhausted. But fortunately, we finally reached this "human resources market".

(Looking around, I found many people)

Oh, my God, I don't know. At first glance, it was really shocking. Why are there so many people? Those who know are recruiting employees, and those who don't know are given away as money for free.

(trying to squeeze in)

Captain: (panting) I finally came in. Through this extrusion method, bread becomes sausage. Why did a big company like that come to this dump to recruit people?

J: It is difficult for Jin Group to start a business. It has been five and a half years. It was listed the year before last, and now it is very famous. Who expected that the economic crisis would come so soon?

The economic crisis is a foreign enemy, and the shortage of talents is a top priority. The director will personally check the situation, and you don't know, so stay out of it!

Captain: Yo, uncle.

Who should we call uncle? Am I that old?

C: Sorry, sorry. Can you tell me where to apply for an interview with this Guinness organization?

I said you are a great young man. Do you want to go to the interview without handing in your resume? Why don't you ask me when you will take over from the director?

C: I have never thought about it. I dare not ask you, and you don't know.

J: (angry) How do you ... you ... you ... how do you say this? You know me. ...

C: OK, OK, OK. Everyone is here for this job. Don't lie under the covers before the fat is cooked. It is not easy to find a job these days. Listen, I can't find a young man. Your age and qualifications are below the issue price. You can't find a job, but you are in a hurry, I understand.

J: (suppressing anger) What education did you receive?

C: (proud) undergraduate course.

J: What university?

C: Tsinghua.

J: (surprised)

C: The university where the campus is located.

J: What's your name?

C: Well, the name is not worth mentioning. However, the geographical location of this university is still good. Among the two famous schools, it can be said that it really combines the aura of Tsinghua and the essence of Peking University. In short, students will not be bad!

So what's your major?

C: (looking embarrassed) Major? Let me see?

Are you talking nonsense? What undergraduate course? I can't remember my professional name.

C: I have seen this professional name twice in my life. My father filled it out when I applied for a job, and the school filled it out when I issued my diploma. I think it's been three or five years. Do you remember?

J: (in distress situation) What, what is this? My major ...

C: Brother, you have been asking me for a long time. What's your education?

All right. Graduate student of Zhejiang University.

C: (surprised) Really? It is said that 1000 graduates and 999 graduates are assigned to high-tech units.

J: I am the only one left.

C: All right, all right, don't be complacent. The recruitment of employees in the Guinness Group emphasizes ability rather than education.

Do you have any work experience?

C: There are many.

Haven't you forgotten your major?

C: But I have strong self-development ability! All the jobs I have participated in are beautiful and enviable. They are only a little behind the chairman of Guinness Group.

Tell me, what do you do?

Captain: What are you looking at me for?

J: Then where can you tell?

C: Look at your eyesight. My appearance, figure and temperament are like literary and art workers. At first glance, people say that I am an idol, and at second glance, I am a strength. In fact, I am an idol, but also strength, set film and television, songs in one.

Oh? So what's your acting experience?

C: I have participated in Super Man, Good Man, Real Man, Dream Man, Dancer, Handsome Man, Avenue of Stars, and strictly come to dance and dance in the forest. I am very famous, my new anchor is dancing, and my first secret crush is shining. I participated in all the drafts.

Which record company did you sign up with?

C: It's a pity that none of them were selected. But I've also been in several blockbusters. > do you know?

J: Blockbuster, why didn't you know?

C: It's a pity that the camera didn't get it. But it's not mainly my acting skills. It's that I forgot to get along with the photographer. You will have experience in filming in the future. Give red envelopes to the director, assistant director, camera, lighting, costumes, props, makeup and miscellaneous things before shooting.

J: show your face?

C: Not yet.

J: Why?

C: My buddies who died with me gave more than me. But I am not discouraged. Keep trying. Life is persistence. This year, another blockbuster is about war. Guess what?

Oh, okay.

C: clever.

J: How about this time?

C: This time, half of my face was exposed.

J: Why is it only half, and I haven't given out enough red envelopes?

C: that's enough. It's just that the director arranged a play with Hu Jun, and boy, his 1.9-meter-long head blocked more than half of me alive. My mother watched it five or six times on the Internet before she quickly told my father that the big man with scabs on the back of his head was our son. Well, fortunately, my hairstyle is unique!

Hey, don't talk about your education and experience. Even if you are lucky, the Guinness Group can't find a jinx.

Captain: What are you talking about? Failure is the mother of success. I call it social skills.

Oh, that makes sense. In that case, I'll test you. Look, a young lady over there sent her resume.

C: I know. Isn't this an employee of Guinness Group? I can tell at a glance? How's it going?

Who asked you? Her badge says that even illiterate people can see it.

C: It proves that my eyesight is good.

J: Don't interrupt. I mean, can you handle her? Ask her to give you the meeting place and phone number directly.

C: nothing!

(Go over and whisper to the lady for a while, take out a pen and paper, let her write, and then trot back)

C: Deal!

J: So soon?

C: Certainly. My major in college for four years is picking up girls, my minor is chatting up, and my hobby is dating. So far, three girls have gone on hunger strike for me, two have drunk for me and one has jumped off a building for me. So in the draft, I gave it to a girl named Heizai. Unfortunately, I took too many courses and spent too much time. I met Xiaohong when I was shopping with Xiaoli in the morning, and made out with Lingling in the afternoon. Fangfang called to stir things up. So far.

J: (in distress situation) I ... I mean you. What did you do?

No problem. You see, I have my phone number and home address, plus my height, weight, birthday sign and blood type hobby.

Why don't you ask around?

C: At your age, why are you so old and not serious? Be subtle when you meet for the first time, okay? But if you must ask, I will. (ready to leave)

J: (La) I want you to ask the location and contact number of the interview of Gold Group. Don't you want to interview directly?

Oh, dear. Why not make it clear?

J: You don't even understand!

C: I feel the same way when I meet women.

M: (running over with a phone) Madam President, your call. Shanghainese.

C: (looking surprised, he stroked his secretary and hit himself on the head)

My cell phone. (looking everywhere)

M: You forgot that when you came here this morning, you said you didn't want to be disturbed, for fear of delaying the company's business, so you left me your mobile phone.

(Patting his head) Oh-(Picking up the phone) Hello, dear. /what? Woman's voice? /(glancing at the secretary, who lowers his head) No, no, absolutely not. /I work outside. /Kiss, don't believe me. Where are there any wild women? /Absolutely at work? /Don't believe it? Ask my staff/(look around and turn the phone to C)

C: Hello, son-in-law. Happy new year. I wish you good health, youth and beauty. The food you eat smells good, and the things you do …

J: get to the point

C: Jin Dong and I are working outside. /Wild woman? Absolutely not/I just answered the phone in Shanghai dialect. /This human resources market is crowded with people. You must have misheard it. /Well, you must have misheard me. /I'm sure there are absolutely no wild women. /Jin Dong married you so beautifully …

(Put down the phone) Honey, I'm telling you, you are oversensitive. /what? Are you going out for dinner tonight? /I'll pick up the children? /ok. /

C: (Full of flattery) Jin Dong, hehe, Jin Dong, so you are the famous Jin Dong.

Save it, son. You just said I couldn't find a job at my age, and you also said …

C: misunderstanding, absolutely misunderstanding. That is me. I'm sure it must be me. However, why bother you with such a trivial matter as recruiting a few employees?

Hey, can I not come? If I don't come, the first children will give me trouble. Last year, for example. Our unit has recruited a legal adviser. It felt great when we introduced them. Studied abroad, Harvard.

C: Not bad!

J: Once, I called him and asked him to help me sort out some business regulations. The next morning, a thick stack was placed on my desk.

C: seriously!

J: forget it. Let me see: this law was revised on the basis of >.

C: That's right.

J: Article 32. The people's court hears divorce cases, and if mediation fails, divorce is granted: 1. Bigamy or a spouse cohabit with others.

C: Isn't that what the proprietress is worried about?

J: (giving him a white look) As a result, I called him to the office. He observed the horizontal and vertical piles of steel plates. He quickly apologized. He said, Oh, Jin Dong, I'm really sorry. I drank two more cups yesterday, and Baidu introduced the marriage law. I asked him. Aren't you studying abroad? Not Harvard? The quality of education in this internationally famous university is too poor. Guess what he said? Jin Dong, I am actually an American citizen, studying in China, Harbin Buddhist College. Isn't this Harvard for short? Later, it was discovered that his lawyer's qualification certificate was fake.

C: Then how did he get into your company?

J: Well, our technical director is Si Menjing's son and his second uncle's third cousin.

C: Oh, an affair.

Well, there have been too many things about nepotism recently. I suggest finding someone with five years' driving experience. An employee found an uncle with fifteen years' experience.

C: Isn't that great?

He has been a cook for fifteen years. I said to hire an operator. An employee's sister was recruited, but her voice was sweet and nice. Unfortunately, she stuttered. This makes those clients very anxious and inactive, and now they all come to my office. When they came in, it was a lot of abuse. Jin Dong, you're not on the road. If you don't sign the contract, you won't sign it Tell the operator to play tricks on me.

C: (rubbing hands) It seems that I have hope now. I'm telling you, these four years I didn't attend my main course for nothing. Picking up girls is the same as dumping the boss. As long as you treat him as a girl, you will succeed. The first trick is to kiss up. You wear everything except flattery. (stomping with excitement)

J: You stepped on my foot.

C: (patting his head) Oh, I caught my ass.

What are you whispering about?

C: No ... No, the second move is to show sincerity. Jin Dong, since your company is so short of people, let me …

Your children? Just your education, your experience, your …

C: Jin Dong, none of this matters, does it? The key is that I have a good personality. I have no relatives in your company. The same tragedy won't happen again.

Really not?

Yes, I went in early. (Cover your mouth) The third trick is to pretend to be pitiful. (Hugging) Jin Dong, please accept me. I will be your ox and horse, your servant girl and your handmaiden all my life. I am diligent and honest. I just want to eat. I have an 80-year-old mother and an 8-year-old son

J: (Look at the table below) Young man, I have something to go. Let me give you a suggestion. Don't waste your good time on such smoke bombs as picking up girls, draft, flattery, etc. One's life is short, one day with one eye closed, and this life with one eye closed.

C: Oh, my God, it's Xiao Shenyang. Fourth, do what you like. Do you like this, Jin Dong? Classmates, classmates.

Who is your classmate?

C: I mean, one of our classmates, Xiao Shenyang, drew a sketch.

(looks at his watch) OK, OK. I'm really late. If you really want to join our company? When my son hires you.

C: (glad) I finally got a chance. Where is your son now?

J: I'm going to his house.

C: Then let's stop by.

J: (waving) Driver, Blue Sky Kindergarten.