The essence of marriage is a drama

The essence of marriage is a "drama"

1. Foreword

Mr. A: I cheated not because of desire, nor because I lost control. My cheating It's planned. I hate my current living situation, it's lifeless, like a pool of stagnant water. We get off work, eat separately, and when we get home, we don’t say hello or get intimate. She watches TV, I play games, and then go to bed. She faced left and I faced right. Strange bedfellows, that's all. I decided to cheat and find some change.

Mr. B: There is a question on Zhihu: Why do men smoke a cigarette in the car before going back after work? At that time, there was an answer that touched me, because at home, a man is his father and husband, but in the car, a man is just himself. My wife and I have been married for more than ten years. In terms of passion, we must have lost it a long time ago, but now we have fallen into conflicts that can cause quarrels over many details. For example, if I wear a dress and she thinks it is ugly, she insists on changing it to something she likes.

2. Marriage is all "acted"

Mr. C: Because I worked overtime late, forgot her birthday, and came home at three in the morning. A piece of cake was thrown in my face... I want to make money, and I am a man. Can't women be more considerate? I must pamper myself like a princess and be pampered like a daughter every day. But, this day. I suddenly remembered what an emotional writer said: Most of the time, what breaks down a marriage is not the differences in the interests and opinions of the spouses. Marriage does not collapse from blushing; it deteriorates from a meal, a good night, a piece of clothing, or getting up early.

Boredom, impatience, loss of confidence, and insecurity—these negative feelings grow from small moments in life and eventually dominate the direction of marriage. Some people say that the essence of marriage is the workplace, and it is important to be well-matched. I don't object. But from this event, I suddenly discovered that the deeper essence of marriage is actually a show. As a husband or wife, it is important to pay attention to the details of the role. Many good marriages are "acted".

3. A special sense of ritual

“What is the best preservative for marriage?” The reporter interviewed an American couple who were married over 70 years old. The two old men looked at each other and replied in unison: "Say good night before going to bed every day." This agreement was made when they started getting married. "We felt at that time that if we wanted to make our marriage last, we must work hard to do one thing, even a small thing. So, we thought of saying good night to each other."

The reporter asked: "What should I do if we quarrel?" Smith said: "We have quarreled many times." The reporter asked: "Do you still say good night when you quarrel?" Smith said: "Every day, no matter how serious the quarrel is, we will say good night to each other. , if I really don’t want to talk, I will write it on a note and put it on her bedside, or I will definitely say good night to her. Sometimes I will be angry, but I will convince myself that it is okay and just pretend. For a moment, this is the agreement.

Tiffany: "At this time, I will feel that he still loves me, and most of my anger will disappear. I will reply to him and then give it to him quietly. Pour a glass of milk and put it on his bedside.

4. Keep your promises

A long and happy marriage will fall into tiny fireworks and daily trivial matters. These trivial matters constitute factors that make marriage unstable, and they are also sporadic fireworks in married life. Many times, a good husband or a good wife is not a particularly big role, but a small role. Even if you cannot be perfect, you must play this role well, such as insisting on saying good night, and keeping your promise even if you don't want to.

This may look like an act to many people. Yeah, maybe, but it's a ritual. This ritual will remind you every day: This is your lover and will accompany you throughout your life. At a certain moment, your small move that may not be of any value to others will open a small gap in the dark side of your marriage and let the sunshine in. Many things will suddenly become clear to you.

5. Overlooked details

There was an episode of Tianjin Satellite TV's "Defense of Love" in which a husband and wife quarreled, and the quarrel came to the show. The host asked the woman: "What is the reason why you have to divorce? He is not good enough? Not rich enough? Not enough to give you a sense of security, or?" The woman said: "Both of them, none of them. I only remember that from the wedding day Every time I buy new clothes, I ask him how he likes them. He looks at them but never says anything. "After that, tears fell down.

The woman then said: "Will you die if you say something beautiful? Will you die if you compliment your wife on her beauty? Even if it is false!" You are not the most beautiful person in the world. Do you think that a woman herself will die? Don’t you know? Still need you to tell her? But she wants to be the most beautiful in your eyes. A very popular short video, "You have changed, let's get a divorce."

The male protagonist said to the female protagonist: "Let's divorce. We are not happy at all, are we?" The female protagonist thought about it all night, and after that, she said: "Give us another month. , In this month, you can completely listen to my instructions and do things, okay?" The male protagonist thought for a while, and it was only one month anyway, "Okay."

6. Conclusion

Marriage has always been a trivial matter. During this month, the heroine required the hero to hold her and kiss her every day when she went out, and he had to go home for dinner. , you must say "good night" and hold hands before going to bed. A month later, the male protagonist said to the female protagonist: "I can't imagine life without you.

Love is the joy of two little people, not the so-called vigorous legend. A good marriage is those heart-stirring moments. A journey that can last for a moment, maybe you are busy, you are tired, you are tired of aesthetics, but don’t give up these moments. Say good night before going to bed, hug each other when you go out, hold hands while walking together, and say “Thank you for your hard work” after she has finished cooking. ".

These very small little touches are the stars that decorate the sky of marriage. Writer Yang Shihui said: "Marriage has always been a trivial matter. You don't have to work hard to become a legend or a big shot, but you have to play this little person well. That is your home court, the stage of happiness.