Why doesn't the daughter-in-law like to go to her husband's house?

Everyone knows that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is tense now. So the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together less. This distance produces beauty and makes the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in many families harmonious. However, there are also a large number of wives who don't like to go to their mother-in-law's house. Although, in my heart, I know that going to my mother-in-law's house is necessary for filial piety to the elderly. Every old man wants his children to go home often, but they don't like it. The reason for this is the following：

1, I don't know what to bring to my mother-in-law.

As the saying goes, a brief encounter is a three-point affair. But China is a polite country, so it is not good to meet empty-handed. Especially when you meet your elders, what should you bring? But what should I bring? Bring nutrition, but the report about food and drug safety is scared all day, and her mother-in-law may think that she deliberately bought her poor quality nutrition; Buy clothes, but it's not easy to ask my mother-in-law the size of clothes, and I'm afraid she doesn't like the style she bought; Give me a shopping card, but I'm afraid my mother-in-law hates being so lazy that she doesn't even pick out gifts ... it's really hard! Difficult! Difficult!

2. Be diligent in everything you do in your husband's house.

I went home to relax and have a good rest. But when it comes to my mother-in-law's house, it's not like this. Buy food, cook, wash clothes, mop the floor, take care of the children ... All the housework daughters-in-law should do it. Otherwise you will feel the strange eyes of your mother-in-law. Before Bian Xiao, a friend was dissatisfied with washing dishes for her mother-in-law, so she directly fought with her mother-in-law, and finally turned against her.

At this point, Bian Xiao suggested that everyone be patient. After all, this is the tradition in China. If there is no way to change society, you have to adapt to it first.

It is always awkward to be with my husband's brothers and sisters.

Back to my husband's family, my husband seems to have returned to the feeling of childhood. Let's say hello. Husband's brothers and sisters, cousins, cousins, a lot, can't remember who came first, this place is even more embarrassing. Every time I look at my husband talking and laughing with them and recall my childhood experience, I am speechless and can't get a word in. That smell, let alone how unpleasant it is.

My husband's family always likes to deliver meals.

When you go back to your mother-in-law's house, some people in her family always treat you as a guest. When eating, I always love to help you with food enthusiastically. The embarrassing thing is that although we are relatives, we are not very familiar with each other, so we are embarrassed to refuse their kindness. In this way, looking at a bowl full of fish, vegetables and meat, I can only gulp down my rice. After cleaning up the dishes and chopsticks, I silently swallowed a few stomach-invigorating and digestion-promoting tablets.

5, children are spoiled, and they have to start education again when they go back.

It is China's national condition that old people spoil their grandchildren. At home on weekdays, I try to correct my children's bad habits. When I got to my mother-in-law, I was all beaten back to my original shape. For example, it is difficult for children to brush their teeth before going to bed, but in their mother-in-law's house, children are spoiled by a spoiled mother-in-law and allowed not to brush their teeth. If you go back, you have to pick up a stick before the child dares to give in. This is really a pet disease!

6. My husband's family always cares about the gossip of life.

When I go to my mother-in-law's house, I always care: when will I have a baby? Has the salary increased? Have you been promoted? Has the house landed yet? ..... although, this is also what life must care about. However, the usual work is annoying enough, and I have to answer these questions again and again. When it is true, my heart is so tired!

7. Prepare too many vegetables when you leave.

People who are mothers-in-law generally like to grow some vegetables or something. It's rare for my son and daughter-in-law to come back once, so I naturally gave them all the good ones. Therefore, it is often the son and daughter-in-law who go home, and the mother-in-law will pick a few bags of vegetables to take back. Say no, don't dare, don't say no, it's disgusting to go back. I have to accept it with a smile and share it with my colleagues and friends when I get back.

Extended data

To properly handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must first have a correct understanding of this interpersonal relationship. Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should recognize each other's independent personality and economic status, and their relationship is an equal interpersonal relationship, not a relationship in which one party must obey the domination and domination of the other.

It is very important to realize this. If both parties or one party lacks a correct understanding of this relationship and thinks that the other party must or should obey and obey themselves, and thus regards this equal interpersonal relationship as a relationship of domination and obedience, it will inevitably be manifested in actions and attitudes. Lead to the imbalance between the two sides.

Mutual respect between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires both sides to discuss things with the whole family, such as economic expenses and matters involving the whole family, and cultivate a democratic family style; Personal affairs should not interfere with each other, and individuals should enjoy "autonomy". As a daughter-in-law, you should respect your mother-in-law, because her mother-in-law is old and experienced as a housekeeper; A mother-in-law should not always put on airs in front of her daughter-in-law, but should see her strengths and respect her opinions.

In other words, the two sides should cooperate and respect each other. After living together for many years, it is inevitable that some uncoordinated things will happen. At this time, it is even more necessary for both sides to understand each other. The so-called "understanding" is to consider the problem from the other side's standpoint. The principles of "put yourself in the other's shoes" and "don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you" advocated by our ancestors in dealing with interpersonal relationships all contain the idea of understanding, which is the "golden rule" in dealing with interpersonal relationships and is completely applicable to dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

To develop a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both sides need to learn to understand and be considerate of each other. For example, when going to the garden on Sunday, the daughter-in-law should not only go with her husband and children, but also leave her in-laws at home so that her mother-in-law will not feel lonely. On the contrary, the daughter-in-law takes care of her husband more and her mother-in-law less, and her mother-in-law should be considerate.

If both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can put themselves in each other's shoes and understand each other when they get along, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be great, but will develop as close as parent-child relationship.