Travel around the world and you will live like the sun, love and light.

Yesterday, I received the first bouquet of flowers in my life, yellow roses, pink carnations and brown paper wrapped in dazzling colors, like green winding out of the mud.

1 End of life

For a long time, I always thought that life had an end, where life became completely safe and quiet, so I always tried to find that end, thinking that as long as I could find that end, my life would be free of any obstacles and troubles.

However, what I met was ups and downs, painful laughter; Pain, laughter, cycle, so I think, maybe life has no end, there is no cheap thing once and for all in this world. Life is like climbing mountains, we climb hard, then enjoy the pleasure of reaching the top, then go downhill, fall to the bottom, and then continue to climb, and it will be endless. Time and life are brewing in such ups and downs. Some people make it mellow, others let it rot.

These days, I vaguely feel that some changes have taken place in me. I have always been very resistant to socializing with others, afraid to hug others. I began to have the desire to be close to others, and I began to want to hold hands and hug everyone I met. Like a child who wants to embrace the whole world with open arms. It was also at this time that I vaguely felt that maybe my past ideas were wrong. I have always regarded life as a linear process, which is infinitely extended, but now I think, what is so linearly and infinitely extended? Everything is harmonious, and the end of life may be at the starting point, but it is not the same as the starting point.

Lao Tzu said: can you hold one camp and one? Can it be as soft as a baby? Can you get rid of the mystery and be perfect? I think this is also true. We started from the origin, separated from each other, walked around, laughed, cried, tired, hated, loved, and finally returned to the origin. Maybe that is the end of life.

2 my understanding of "practice"

My previous impression of temples was associated with "superstition". In my mind, there were pictures of people burning incense and worshiping Buddha on TV. Later, I went to the Zen Temple for a while, and I made great changes to the temple. What impressed me most about the Zen Temple was a sentence that Master said:

Walking, living, sitting and lying are all Zen.

For a long time, I thought that "practice" was to find a remote forest or temple to live in poverty and stay there for ten or even decades, regardless of the world; Master's words slowly began to make me understand that real practice is in this bustling world. It doesn't mean that you don't have desires or even desires, nor does it mean that you can't show your emotions or even obstacles and fears. Instead, I went deeper and deeper into this world, crying, laughing, hurting, hating and loving. Go deep into this world, experience all the things that happen, all the emotions, and immerse yourself deeply in it.

Then, see for yourself and listen for yourself. See your desire, hear your call, really understand and listen to what you are saying.

Just like children take games seriously, just like boys and girls fall in passionate love, just like students stand upright and listen to teachers; Just like flowers grow on the earth, just like flowers bloom in seasons, just like seasons flow with time.

However, you have to understand that this is just a game. You have to enjoy it, you have to be completely involved, serious and enthusiastic, immersed in it, but you can't indulge.

This is just a game. Whoever is serious will lose, can't see the road clearly and can't see himself clearly.

God is fair.

For a long time, I have always held a grudge against fate. I always feel that my twenties are just the beginning of my life. Why is my life ruined? I have to spend my whole life and energy to make up for it. I don't think it's fair! I really want to laugh like girls my age, go shopping, eat and watch movies in groups, and I also want to talk to my parents, even as attractive as them ... but I don't have any of these. ...

I don't know how long I stayed in such a deep valley. Only later, when I slowly walked out of such a trough, did I find that my life was more energetic and courageous than others because of these low despair and pain. Those days of struggling in the dark became the fuel that I jumped up later.

Therefore, I can change from a quiet and shy girl in your eyes to an insightful person who can be lively and confident in your eyes now.

How many nights can you endure before you can touch the light?

As Lao Tzu said, the whole world knows that beauty is beauty, and evil has been done; As we all know, goodness is good, but it is not good. Therefore, whether there is a phase or not, it is difficult to bring out the best in each other, the length is consistent, the height is oblique, and the sound is in harmony. It is based on the sage's inaction, the teaching of doing things in terms of inaction, doing everything without thinking, living without doing it, doing it without relying on it, and living and succeeding. The husband only lives in the house, so he can't go.

So, you see, God is fair and everything is in a delicate balance.

Go through your own process, don't envy anyone, and don't lament yourself. After all, life is a fairly balanced process.

Travel to the world, you will become the sun, and you will live with love and light.

Someone once said to me, "in the future, you will find someone swimming to your side like plankton to suck your blood."

I asked her, "Now I swim to you like plankton and suck your blood?"

At that time, it was always easy to regard many people as gods and angels. I always felt that they were very wise and always pointed me in the wrong direction. It was not until later that they were rejected that they were corrected from their status as "gods" to their status as "people" and interacted with them in a more peaceful and equal way.

I used to be like a beggar, begging for the joy and recognition of others, hoping to make everyone accept and satisfy, pretending to be a child, hoping to get the love and protection of others, and always feeling that I could not do it when I encountered problems. Only others can guide me out of this fog. Later, when I experienced my own process deeply enough, when I began to live slowly and shine like the sun, I could really feel the initial lack and emptiness in my heart, just like a house bitten by ants, just like a tooth full of decayed teeth.

Yesterday, I said to a girl: When you live like the sun, when your light shines enough, others will follow your light instead of begging for others' approval and acceptance like beggars.

She asked me, how can life be equal? Isn't there a superior-subordinate relationship?

All men are created equal, and there is no superior-subordinate relationship. Everyone is a sun, with enough light and love to nourish himself, shine and warm others, but not everyone is live high, becoming the sun, emitting light and love. Some people think they are lacking and have to look for hope in the light of others.

I have always insisted on conveying my thoughts to every friend who came to talk to me: everyone is full and complete, and I believe everyone has enough wisdom to solve their own problems, but sometimes we have too many self-restrictions, too many fears and anxieties, which blind our light. And I hope that every friend who trusts me will get from me not only a little insight into himself, but also a kind of confidence and courage. I believe I have enough cosmic wisdom. I am a sun full of love and light, and I don't seek external recognition and acceptance.

You came into this world, you want to be the sun, you want to live out love and light.

five

Thank the girl for the flowers she sent yesterday. A mineral water bottle was cut and inserted this morning. What a wonderful and fragrant life it is!

I sometimes suspect that I am not good at writing, just as Andy suspects that he is mentally ill.

I feel too much, but I can't analyze it. Probably because the sensibility is too strong, even the process of analysis is directly omitted, leaving only a few words that are difficult to express clearly, sometimes strong and sometimes vague, unclear and incomprehensible. Although I try my best to express it, it is always unsatisfactory, so I will worry whether it can reach your hands.

But fortunately, there are always a few people who leave messages or private letters at the bottom of the article to tell you how I feel, which makes me a little happy and certain. No matter what I wrote, no matter what you received, I am grateful that these words have given you some strength and courage. Thank you for your feedback and support.

Thank you very much. Bow deeply.