Campus funny sketch script, more than 5 people, 4 to 5 minutes.

Characters: Tang Bohu (soft voice), Chou-heung, Chou-heung's mother (tall boy, imitating a woman's accent), narrator, soundtrack (he can play his own flute, preferably guitar), an audience nursery, child A, child B, and a waiter (boy, northeast accent) in Tang Bohu.

(The music will be played first, and "myheartwillgoon" will be played on the flute. After the prelude, the narrator will come on stage and say while playing. )

Narrator: Dear audience friends, have you heard the sad, touching, romantic and fresh story of Tang Bohu lighting Qiuxiang? What, have you heard of it? Facing the audience, with a surprised expression, the music stops, and then the music starts in the original calm tone. ) that's right. What you've heard before is artificial. This time, I will tell you an original story of Tang Bohu ordering Chou-heung without any carving. The story happened hundreds of years ago. At that time, Comrade Tang Bohu, a leader of the four gifted scholars in the south of the Yangtze River, was elected by a show of hands in the whole village. (Next, hold Tang Bohu by the hand)

(Don and his partner)

Tang: (shaking the fan) Taohuawu Taohuaan, Taohuaan Taohuaxian; Peach Fairy cultivates peach trees, picks them and drinks them. When I wake up, I just sit in front of the flowers, and when I am drunk, I come to sleep under the flowers; Half drunk and half awake day after day, flowers bloom and fall year after year. I am SHEN WOO, whose reputation is unparalleled in the world. Everyone loves him, flowers are in full bloom, cars have a flat tire, wisdom and beauty are equally important, and Tang Bohu is the embodiment of hero and chivalry. I am not only elegant in speech, but also good in quality, which can be called …

Waiter: Rice.

Don: Huh?

Attendant: Oh, no, models. Hey hey, (Tang Bohu was very happy when he heard the first half of the sentence, and very angry when he heard the second half) If my young master is talented, he will be punished, then he will be chopped to pieces; If our master's noble character is a crime, then he is guilty of a heinous crime; If my young master is guilty of being handsome, it can only be a lightning strike.

Don: If you say anything, I'll hit you.

Attendant: Hey, grandpa, the calendar says you are lucky today?

Don: What are you talking about? How can you say that I am lucky today? When do you think I'm unlucky?

(below)

Narrator: One day, Tang Bohu met Comrade Chou-heung, a stunning beauty. At that time, Chou-heung had just returned from shopping for the old lady in the supermarket. On the way, two children, one in Lu Yu and the other in, robbed at gunpoint.

Chou-heung is holding a big bag of roll paper. Children a and b are on the other side. A is wearing a hat backwards, and B is holding a cane. )

A and B: Well, I planted this tree and opened this road. If you want to live from now on, stay and buy the fare!

Chou-heung: Will you let me go when that little girl gives you something?

(Chou-heung gives things to A and B)

(B is about to leave when A pulls B)

A: Wait ... Wait, I'm ... I'm going to rob ... first.

(Tang Bohu suddenly jumps out from Chou-heung)

Don: Sunflower acupuncturist!

(A and B settle down)

Don: Comrade, have you watched the news recently? Even if we don't watch the news, listen to the radio or read the newspaper, we can know that the party teaches us to be proud of unity and mutual assistance and ashamed of harming others and benefiting ourselves; Be proud of obeying the law and discipline, and be ashamed of breaking the law and discipline. I despise you women robbers the most. You have no technical content at all. It's sad that you haven't changed your lines after so many years of reform and opening up. (pointing to B), look at you. When your legs and feet are not good, you walk around. You still rob me like this. If the police uncle comes to arrest you, you don't even know to run. (pointing to armor), and you, look at you, wearing so little. What if you are frozen stiff? You just have to consider giving birth to your parents, right? Blink your eyes when you understand. Sunflower acupuncturist.

A and B: Oh, big brother, stop it. I bet you Tang people are all so vain. You and Tang Priest were born by the same mother, right? My brothers will never dare again. It really kills people.

Attendant: What are you talking about? Avalanche!

(A and B)

Chou-heung: I'm afraid I will ...

Don: You're welcome, girl.

Chou-heung: Your son is very handsome. May I ask your name?

Tang: My surname is Tang, and my name is Bohu. What's the girl's name?

Chou-heung: Call me Chou-heung.

Don: Then please allow me to take this girl home.

Chou-heung: Then you have to work hard.

As the commentator said, Bohu and Chou-heung walked up and down the stage, pretending to chat, followed by the waiter, holding a big light bulb, playing the romance of love with the music on the guitar. )

Narrator: When Tang Bohu saw Chou-heung, he suddenly realized. His waist and legs no longer hurt, and he even proposed.

Chou-heung: Son, my home is here.

Bohu: Unfortunately, I have to say goodbye again. Contact me often in the future. Be sure to send me a message. I am a M-Zone user, my site, and I am in charge!

Chou-heung: I am a Unicom user, both on the ground and underground! See you later.

(Under Chou-heung, Bohu is still watching Chou-heung leave stupidly)

Follow-up: Sister Chou Xiang turned around.

Bohu: Tai Sen changed to table tennis.

Follow-up: Sister Chou Xiang turned back.

Bohu: Yang Guo fell in love with Li Moqiu.

Follow-up: Sister Chou Xiang turned three times.

Bohu: Monks used ladle meat from now on. Hey, you're kidding!

(below)

Narrator: In a few days, Chou-heung's family will choose a husband for Chou-heung. As for the applicants, there are still many.

(Chou-heung and Qiu Mu are the same as above)

Akiki: How can I order a lot?

Chou-heung: Quite a lot. Mommy, what topic do you think we should give the applicant today?

Akiki: Ha ha ha ha, sweet, you don't have to worry about this, because mom has her own coup.

(Tang and his party)

Attendant: Young Master, I just went to the scene to have a look, and I saw it was dark under the stage. I only see my hair, but I can't even see my head. Chou-heung has so many wires!

Bohu: What's a wire?

Follow-up: die-hard fans, why have no culture? It is said that Chou-heung's mother is old and fierce. Chou-heung shows off the muscles in her back. The person who chases Chou-heung has either a broken arm or a broken leg, or even (taking his hand as a knife and showing his body as a tiger).

Bohu: Hey, hey, hey, it seems that we have to do something small today. Let's go together. You play it first, and then I'll go. This is called differential contrast, which is better.

Attendant: It's unfair. It's so unfair.

Bohu: Wow, are you kidding? I am your boss. You should have listened to me. This is called comparison. After that, I'll invite you to the fifth floor of Wan Xiu Garden for dinner!

Attendant: Hey, I've never been to this place. All right, I'll sacrifice for you once. Take care of my seventh uncle, and then I will learn from Fan Wei. I'm stupid.

Chou-heung: No.38!

(The waiter comes to Qiumu, smirking, and Qiumu turns around the waiter)

Chou-heung: You have an IQ, so you came to apply?

Attendant: I ... What I ... IQ?

Akiki: I tell you, you don't understand either.

Attendant: You ... you tell me the password ... I can use it.

Akiki: I'm telling ... I'm telling you ... it doesn't work either.

Attendant: You? ...

Akiki: Forget it. It's too much trouble to talk to you. Please listen to the topic (left arm extended, fist clenched) and talk about the content of "eight honors and eight disgraces"

Attendant: What "eight honors and eight disgraces"?

Qiu Mu: Then tell me about Theory of Three Represents's theory.

Attendant: Theory of Three Represents, eight honors and eight disgraces, three? Eight?

Akiki: Babao Road, you dare to apply with this quality. Go home!

Attendant: Hey, madam, this is no small joke. Listen carefully. (takes out Allegro) Dongfanghong, the sun rises and the motherland takes off like a dragon. Great economic development in urban and rural areas and happiness in a harmonious society. National unity is like a rock, and we must adhere to the reunification of the motherland; It is the most glorious to love the motherland and the most shameful to hurt it. Love the motherland, love the people and serve others enthusiastically; Do good deeds for the collective and often offer love to the society. Serving the people is the most glorious, and deviating from the people is the most shameful. Superstition, heresy, persistent truth-seeking since childhood; Advocating science is the most glorious, and ignorance is the most shameful. Be kind to classmates, just like sisters and brothers; When in trouble, help everyone. When you are in trouble, help yourself. Unity and mutual assistance is the most glorious, and it is the most shameful to harm others and benefit themselves. Relic for righteousness, aim high, and don't hide mistakes; Honesty and trustworthiness are the most glorious, and sarira forgetting righteousness is the most shameful. In school, we should be disciplined and remember the rules of students; Learn laws and regulations, abide by laws and regulations, and make contributions to the legal society. Disciplinary violations should be dealt with, and violations should be punished; It is the most glorious to obey the law, and the most shameful to violate the law and discipline. Hard work is a tradition, so be thrifty. Form good habits when you are young, and remember to serve your country when you grow up. It is necessary to resist extravagance and waste and prohibit covetousness; Hard work is the most glorious, and arrogance and extravagance are the most shameful. How are you, madam?

Akiki: OK, it's yours!

Attendant: Hey hey, young master, young master, you wanted to see me.

Don: Hey, kid, didn't I tell you to behave worse? Why did you behave so well? Bohu was very angry, and the consequences were very serious. (stomping)

Attendant: Are you numb?

Don: I'm numb.

Chou-heung: Mom, why is she numb?

Akiki: Nonsense, you will be numb when you stamp your foot! It's okay, take two steps!

Don: Come on, I'm coming. If you have any questions, please come!

Akiki: I heard that you come from Tang Bohu, where there are many talented people, and you are very proficient in ancient and modern Chinese and foreign knowledge. I want to test you and talk about the next sentence of "outside the castle peak building outside the mountain"

Don: When will the singing and dancing by the West Lake stop?

Akiki: The length of the English Channel is …

Don: 35 kilometers.

Akiki: A frog has 1 mouth, two eyes and four legs. What about 243 frogs?

Don: 243 frogs have 243 mouths, 486 eyes and 972 legs.

Akiki: Which ancient man in China ran fastest?

Tang: Cao Cao.

Attendant: Grandpa, why?

Don: Speak of the devil!

Akiki: It's not good for men to know too much. However, I can test whether you are a good man at home. Then talk about the method of steaming meat with flour.

Don: Fen ... swamp ... steamed pork with flour? Fortunately, I like it. Listen carefully. We can mix sugar, salt and starch and add some Sanhuang cooking wine. Three spoonfuls of onion and ginger noodles, mince garlic, add pork, let it cool, and steam on fire. (say it quickly)

Akiki: Little white face, at first glance, is not practical, not my type. You go home.

Chou-heung: Mom, you haven't asked about eight honors and eight disgraces.

Akiki: Well, I'll give you another chance to talk about the content of "eight honors and eight disgraces".

Don: Hahahaha, it's a good thing I came prepared, comeonbaby! (The following is the performance and action of the follower)

I shoot one, I shoot one, eight honors and eight disgraces should be kept in mind;

You shoot two, I shoot two, endangering the motherland and being spurned;

You shoot three, I shoot three, and serve the people in my heart;

You clap four, I clap four, ignorant idiot;

You clap five, I clap five, relax and hate work, little fat pig;

You shoot six, I shoot six, it's really shy to harm others and benefit themselves;

You shoot seven, I shoot seven, advocating science first;

You shoot eight, I shoot eight, and you have to catch violations of law and discipline;

You shoot nine, I shoot nine, arrogant and extravagant is an asshole;

You shoot ten, I shoot ten, knowing shame does not deteriorate! Am I a son-in-law? (Hold Bohu with the waiter, Bohu Xiang Qiu Mu opens his arms)

Akiki: Get out! Childish! Come down quickly. Besides, she is a little cute, and it's good to appreciate our family as a flower.

Don: That's terrible! (fainting, being helped down by the waiter)

(Chou-heung pulls Chou's mother's arm angrily)

Akiki: First love, I don't know anything about love. Au Suivant!

Narrator: But Bohu and Chou-heung fell in love at first sight, so love came like a raging river, and it felt like Cupid smashed two bricks. Chou-heung's mother put Chou-heung under house arrest and refused to let her see Bohu. Chou-heung cried all day. Chou-heung and Qiu Mu performed the action of being locked up.

(Chou-heung is crying, Bohu is following the class, and Qiumu is pretending to sleep in Taichung. )

Bohu: No, I'm going to save her. I seem to hear her crying in pain.

Attendant: Oh, did Sister Chou-heung cry so loudly?

Bohu: You don't understand.

Attendant: I heard that Chou-heung's mother is unreasonable. What if she fails?

Bohu (facing the audience): Failure is just a state of mind, and nothing else is nothing. The children who failed in the college entrance examination in front of the TV set, Bohu told you with personal experience that the heart is there, the dream is there, and all continents are connected to Chou-heung's home. Big deal, start all over again!

Attendant: If you say so, sir, you are really a man.

Bohu: Don't mess around. Take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece. I'll go!

Narrator: At the risk of being surrounded by three villains, Tang Bohu stole Qiumu's key and came to Qiuxiang's door.

Bohu: Chou-heung, Bohu is here for you. Please open your eyes and see how pathetic I am. Can you and I repeat yesterday's story today, and can I receive your message on this stupid mobile phone? Alas? What's the matter, Chou-heung? You didn't kill yourself. (knocking at the door)

Chou-heung: Wait, who is outside? Code word, Xishan Xiu Gorkon School.

Bohu: Outside the door is the sea, and the three rivers have been flowing in parallel for thousands of years.

Chou-heung: The style of study is rigorous.

Bohu: Advocating practice!

Chou-heung: Tiger, it's you!

Bohu: (Playing the theme song of Dead Sun or Schindler's List with music) Xiang, it's me! Sister Chou-heung, in fact, our feelings are predestined. Once there was a sincere feeling in front of me, and I didn't cherish it. I regret it to this day. If God gives me another chance, I want to tell the little girl that I am very rare for you. If I give you a positive message about this feeling again, I hope it is a thief for many years! I didn't know what trouble was until I learned Taylor's formula. After learning Fourier series, I don't know what is troublesome; I didn't know what it means to want to be with someone forever until I met you. Autumn wind blows on my face, and the fluttering leaves make me miss you. The waves hit my heart painfully, sea, if we never meet again. Then please swallow me, and let today be our eternal memory in the future.

Akiki: God, that's so touching. Bohu, you are a real man! Well, it seems that you can stand the test, and I agree that you are together. I choose (male voice), I like it. (Female voice, pointing to face, shy)

Bohu: God, Earth, which angel aunt opened her eyes! Xiao Qiang (picks up the prop turtle), you finally have a mistress! (Chasing Chou-heung)

Chou-heung: Oh, my God!

(together)

Narrator: Later, Tang Bohu and Chou-heung lived a happy life.

Akiki: How can it be called happiness?

Everyone: that's quite happy!

Narrator: Well, audience friends, this is the end of our program today. The topic of our quiz today is, Tang Bohu, what's his last name? Friends who know can send text messages to ...

The audience cares: the surname is Tang!

Narrator: Congratulations, you answer first. The prizes of our prize contest today are ...

Akiki: A photo signed by me.

(Everyone feels sick)

Narrator: Audience friends, we'll meet again at the same time tomorrow!