Unspeakable bitterness can only heal itself most of the time.

0 1.

In this era when all people stay up late, I haven't gone to bed early for a long time, and I seem to have become a national treasure panda with dark circles. I was very tired last night. At nine o'clock, I covered myself with a quilt, thought something quietly on the pillow and fell asleep slowly.

Turn off the alarm clock in the morning, log in to the background, and see the little friends talking. I don't even know each other's name and gender. I guess it's probably a girl.

At 7 o'clock in the evening, she said that she was crying in a fast food restaurant now, and she didn't know who to talk to, so she chatted with me backstage. It was 7: 00 in the morning when I saw the reply.

No one speaks, no one replies, and it is a normal state to fall asleep with waiting and sadness.

The closer I get to the end of college, the more flustered I seem to be. My favorite job has not been settled yet, and there will probably be a hard journey and a torturous search and waiting in the near future.

Inadvertently saw a girl in the class holding a boy's hand into the canteen, only to know that I am still alone, a person shouldering all the pressure, no one to share.

It is said that the fourth year is bitter, and this kind of war-torn suffering is from the heart and embodied in the body. After two or three days, I didn't weigh myself and found that I lost four pounds and began to panic.

I used to ask my dad if he was tired. He likes to joke: human, can you call someone if you are not tired? Perhaps mature people understand the truth of life, so they carry hardships all the way to find sweetness.

Now I find that everyone's face is engraved with the word "bitter". You see, eyebrows are horizontal, ears are vertical, eyes are horizontal, nose is vertical, and there is a mouth below. The trademark word "bitterness" is the most real life.

If you grow up and find that life is completely different from what you imagined when you were a child, please don't take it amiss.

02.

About liveliness and loneliness, day and night, some people describe the heart of modern people like this:

It is nothing to miss someone when you are lonely, but it is different to miss someone when you are busy; It is extremely easy to be indifferent to anything during the day, but at night it is another matter.

The night is like a generous and secure shoulder, which makes it easy for people to relax their vigilance and give up their disguise. Better than a female soldier during the day, she is easily possessed by Lin Daiyu at night.

I am no exception.

I've always wanted to be a cold person and make people afraid to approach, but I always break my job again and again. I like to laugh after a few words. I like to chat with my roommates forcibly, and occasionally add some jokes, which makes the once lively scene so embarrassing that I turn my face away, leaving me alone and messy. Such scenes always make them think that I am a very happy person.

In the evening, several of them came in high spirits, and often talked until midnight, but I put on my headphones early and hid in my own little world, writing something, or doing nothing but thinking.

People are always strangers, and no one can really understand who they are. Some people encounter snowstorms, others encounter rainbows; Some people see tigers and wolves, others meet lambs; Some people tremble in spring, while others sing in winter. No matter sad or bitter, sweet or honey, it is brewed with heart, tasted alone and shared by no one.

Talking with people is often not the deepest secret.

03.

I watched a very warm movie "Stars on Earth" two days ago, which told us that we don't need to do everything as well as others, we just need to find our brightest side, and we are the unique stars on this earth.

What moved me was not the happy ending, but one person's understanding of another.

The world favors beautiful people, likes children with loud voices, and seems unloved when it is dark and quiet.

Almost all the teachers in the school like the child who is the first in all subjects, but no one wants to know an ordinary or even poor student.

Ethan, an eight-or nine-year-old boy, can't explain why he is always illiterate and can't solve simple math problems. His parents, who love him the most, criticized him and hit him with the standard of success. Before the teacher played by Aamir Hussain Khan appeared, Ethan's life had fallen to the edge of the cliff and was in jeopardy.

We are not Ethan, not the person who has great talent in painting despite dyslexia; We are not so lucky to meet someone who knows us very well and pull us out of the abyss.

We are just ordinary people ourselves. If we encounter a bitter quagmire, if we are lucky enough to climb up by ourselves, unfortunately, we will slowly sink in and never get up again.

The degree of a person's understanding is just equal to the depth of his suffering.

If someone asks what is the most important thing in life, I will say that I know how to save myself.

Some people are willing but unable to help you, some people can't see your suffering at all, and when we were young, suffering was a puzzling thing.

When I was in primary school, I almost ruined my life because of poor grades, just like Ethan:

I can't use a semicircular ruler, and I don't know what an acute angle is and what an obtuse angle is. I hate the crazy pool manager. He pours water into the pool, at the same time, he pours water from the pool, and finally asks me when the pool will be full.

I don't understand why farmers put ducklings and chickens in a cage. Let me guess how many chickens and ducks there are. You can convert from kilograms to grams, but you never know how to convert from grams to kilograms, that is, you can't use a calculator.

At that time, I seemed to have a phobia about math class, and I would tremble when I saw the math teacher. After the math class, I feel that the real day has begun. If the math class is arranged in the afternoon, I can't calm down all morning.

Similarly, Ethan and I were crushed by confidence. The difference is that he never covered up his incompetence with resistance and disobedience, and fought against the whole world, while I was not brave enough and could only obey the realistic arrangement with depression and anxiety.

Who said it wasn't hard when I was a child? Life has always been bitter, and the pain of childhood is often ignored by others, and I can't say it myself.

I used to tell my mother that I had a backache. She said, "Go, go, go, go, go, go." . I think if I tell her that I am suffering, she will definitely kick me out: What can a child suffer?

Fortunately, I slowly saved myself and lived a normal student life. Now, I live a fairly healthy life.

04.

Life is like a string, which mentions three basic dilemmas in life:

First, people are born to be themselves, and they are born to live among countless others, unable to completely communicate with others. This means loneliness.

Second, people are born with desires, and people's ability to realize desires will never catch up with their ability to desire. This is an eternal distance.

Third, people are not born to die, but born to die, which means fear.

Life is just a few decades, full of countless bitterness. From childhood to old age, no matter what kind of life we choose, we can't escape, we can only deliberately find some sweetness.

When my roommates and I went to the supermarket, they were happily holding several packs of snacks. I will take a bag of fruit candy and eat one when I feel bitter, telling myself that life is not so bitter.

Now no one can redeem anyone for life, and the burden is too heavy. May we all learn to heal ourselves and save ourselves in a bitter life.

(The picture is selected from "Petal Net")

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