Double reed lines

lines from "Foot Wash City" by Shuang Huang

Wonder: (opening words) The foot wash city has opened, and here comes Dad and Miao Miao, who in northern dialect are Grandpa and Grandma. Ladies and gentlemen, you have to pay attention. Listen, you will know who this father and grandmother are.

Private (double-reed part): I opened a foot washing city in Jinpenling, where you can get addicted to foot washing. I only charge him 5 yuan for washing one foot, and I earn a lot of money for washing 1 feet, huh? If I send some malicious! I wash his 1, feet a day, and how much is it? Calculate how much it costs, and you get seven from 17 … Ah, 2748 … Ah, 38 … Women's Day, May 1 … Labor Day, June 1 … My father is celebrating a holiday, July 1 …

Qi Zhi: (Drive the soldiers out) Get out! What's your boss's culture? Soldier: What's the matter?

Qizhi: Your father went to visit you on June 1st.

soldier: Does this count? This good business will sit here until it makes a fortune. Chi Zhi: How to make a fortune? Wash 1, feet a day. That's pig's feet.

soldier (continued with double springs): It's opened, Golden Basin Foot Wash City. I am the chairman, general manager, cashier, accountant, welcoming guests and ensuring safety. On the first day of opening, celebrities from all walks of life came to pay tribute, including my dad (grandpa), my grandma (grandma), my grandparents, uncles, aunts, uncles, aunts, uncles, uncles, three hundred and forty-five hundred ... What's the matter? All my own family? There's a foreign guest here, too. As soon as he opens his mouth, he speaks a foreign language, so send it away. Get out! I'm poorer than you, and I sent you away. In order to carry forward the glorious tradition of respecting the old and loving the young, first of all, I washed my grandfather's feet for free, alas! My father (grandfather) is a proud (black) leg. When I picked up these feet, I saw that it was really an African old man jumping high-scaring (black) Lao Tzu. I washed eight tons of water.

It's not bad that it didn't wash white. My grandma came the next day. "Sun Yazi, come and pick the corns for me." As soon as I took off my socks, I felt very dizzy and my eyes were black. I didn't dare to vent my anger, and my upper respiratory tract was infected. Mosquitoes and flies next to me fell like rain. I'm talking about Mian (grandma). Mozi? Did you ask her if she went? I don't know whether I went or not. Anyway, the next door was closed the next day, and a line was written on the door. The general manager died in the line of duty!

group-mouthed duet

prologue: Today, a group-mouthed duet was performed, which was inspired on the basis of group-mouthed cross talk. It's interesting to talk about these duets, which requires one to perform in front and the other to speak lines at the back. From a distance, it looks like a person, which requires the two people to perform very tacitly, very much. Hurry up, hurry up, put on makeup, as the saying goes, people accompany clothes and horses with saddles, and people are not beautiful until they are successful. After this person is successful, let's take a look, it is better not to be successful! Next, I will bring you a new work called "Dormitory Whispers". I hope you like it!

a "if all the girls give a love, how beautiful the lonely boy will be, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la".

b: hey, hey, what are you doing? In the middle of the night, people are not allowed to sleep. This is a new society. How can the old society exploit the working people? The cock crows in the middle of the night still exist! What's more, this voice is not as good as the cock crow! What's the matter, brother sleeping in the upper bunk, what's the trouble? Tell me!

a: stop it, it's for women, no! A girl, to be exact! Blow again!

b: blow again! What number is this? Gongcheng Liangtian can't compete with you. I think you're catching up with Hanamichi Sakuragi. I mean, isn't it a woman? Without her, male compatriots can't live?

c: exactly! It's still our housemaster who wants to open up. Nowadays, if you don't have money, you can't find GF. What's more, our dormitory is poor. Let's be honest, don't let girls go with us to drink northwest wind!

d: I'm dizzy! It's good to have northwest wind to drink! At least you can draw cakes to satisfy your hunger. The most terrible thing is whether there is a northwest wind to drink. That is still a problem! Why bother about a woman! But then again, what caused the peacock to fly southeast this time? Last time, it seemed that you were unmanly, and the more you looked, the more you looked like an old lady.

a: what's wrong with the old lady? does this show my extraordinary appearance? Fully prove that sentence!

c: what a sentence!

a: are half men women?

b: my god, you still feel proud, don't you? You've disgraced our dormitory! What about this time! And for what! Is there no money or no color?

a: this time, it's my looks! She said that I looked like Pan Changjiang from a distance, Zhao Benshan from a close distance, Zeng Ziwei from the left and Zhao Chuan from the right. I was simply a "four-phase".

c: cough! Just say you're ugly!

a: won't it hurt my self-esteem? I am a little ugly, but I am very gentle!

b: I didn't see the tenderness. With your ugly strength, you can catch up with those monkeys in Huaguoshan!

c: if he were a monkey, he would be fine! What's the big deal about ugliness? It's a big deal. Become a handsome guy and charm the MM in our university! : By the way, introduce some to my buddies!

d: I don't want it. I choose the latter between MM and ONLINE. I'm not interested in MM.

a: don't always criticize me! That's right The first year is coming! What are your plans?

b: sleep! See my fairy sister in my dream! Real life is too hypocritical. I really regret talking about it. In my eyes, everyone looks like a lonely ghost. I just don't see, I don't mind, and I go to deliver water with my fairy sister in my dream!

c: matron, I'm not talking about you. You know who you are all day long. You eat and sleep, and you don't get fat. Aren't you wasting the country's food? Can you afford the aunt in our school canteen? Seriously, we have to do something! The end of the year is coming, so many activities, don't you value any of them?

ding: I want to go to our school's welcome party! I heard that there are many bright girls, and maybe I can get one or two with my charm!

a: who just said that she was not interested in MM! This time, I immediately changed my mouth! It's really "a man's heart, the bottom of the sea is deep."

b: isn't it illiterate? It's a pity that you have been studying in college for 2 years. How can you speak so poorly? What is meant by "a man's heart is deep under the sea", and the correct one is "a woman's heart is deep under the sea". You know what?

ding: the lesson of the matron is! I have an idea! Why don't we go out to a hotel on Christmas Eve? Let's also enjoy the taste of a 3-star hotel, shall we?

a: what? Go outside and get a room, just a few big men.

b: what are you yelling about? Don't call the dormitory manager, I haven't seen anything before, make a fuss, old-fashioned

c: I think this proposal is ok. Anyway, most of the people spent Christmas one-on-one that night. We four bachelors have to find something to do! I don't think staying in a hotel is enough, because we should have a big meal first. How about eating hot pot?

D: Stop it, my mouth is watering now.

b: it's worthless. it's just a hot pot! If you have two more bottles of wine, will you get up and eat at once? Just know to eat!

a: matron! Can I bring my family then?

b: you pay for the family, and it can't be counted in the account of the bachelor group!

a: I see, of course!

b: it's too late. I have to get up early tomorrow!

c: do morning exercises!

d: when will it be done?

b: why don't you do nothing and remember something? 6 o'clock!

a: matron! What time to do it?

d: why are you shouting so loudly? Die!

b: 6 o'clock! Stop talking and go to sleep!

a: matron, I don't think anyone should sleep.

b: what's the matter!

a: I looked at my watch just now, and it's already 5: 6!

EPDM: ah! Get up! Do exercises!

a: do exercises! What a hard life!

fire fighting double reed sketch

foal: hello, everyone!

jingzi: hello, everyone.

ma: who are you?

Jing: Who are you, too?

Ma: I'm Ma Mingyue Yao.

Jing: I'm Jing Minghua.

ma: clean ... clean the air?

Jing: Hua Jing!

ma: oh, it's jinghua, the recruit!

Jing: Hua Jing!

ma: I'd like to introduce you to the folks. This is the new recruit.

Jing: it's not purification!

ma: not purification, but huajing, not huajing, but purification?

Jing: (angrily put my foot in my mouth) It's purification!

ma: hello, hello ...

Jing: ok, let's get down to business!

ma: today, we will perform a double reed for you.

Jing: double spring? How much is a catty?

horse: no matter the weight of the double spring.

Jing: On bowls?

ma: regardless of the bowl.

Jing: then what?

ma: double spring theory.

Jing: ok, give me the middle section and remove the head and tail.

ma: you think you are selling fish!

Jing: what are those springs?

Ma: The double reed is a traditional form of performance, that is, one person performs in front and one person speaks at the back. Well, you play in the front and I'll talk in the back. I'm making up words now, pay attention to me!

Jing: (to the audience) If I want to stir her up, I can't believe that she can't be killed!

ma: hello, chief. hello, comrade. I'm a recruit. I'm 18 years old. In the company, I have the most qualifications, the youngest seniority, the best level and the lowest salary. Those sitting below are all my elders. This is my aunt, that is my little brother, this is my grandfather, and that is ... < P > Jing: (Pulling out the horse) Are you looking for grandpa all over the place? ! ? !

ma: doesn't this show your modesty? !

Jing: modesty doesn't break the void! Do you have any good ones?

ma: (scared) yes, yes.

Ma: Purify, Roger that.

Jing: Do you copy?

ma: there is a fire in the mountains behind, please go to the rescue.

Jing: yes!

Ma: Purify, Roger that.

Jing: (panting) Roger that ... Go ahead.

ma: there is a fire in the mountain ahead. please put out the fire as soon as possible.

Jing: Yes ...

Ma: Purify, get the answer.

Ma: Purify, Roger that. Um ...? ! ? ! Purify. Purify. Copy that.

Jing: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is no longer in service. Please redial later ...

Jing: (pulling the horse out) You are trying to kill me! Do you have any good ones? !

ma: well, let's tell you something about fire control.

Jing: KO.

ma: (robot tone) The first one: please cover your nose and mouth with a wet towel when a fire breaks out.

Jing: right

Ma: (machine adjustment) The second one: In case of fire, please take the safe passage.

Jing: rt ght

Ma: (by machine) The third one: When a fire breaks out, please follow the instructions of the staff and escape from the fire quickly.

Jing: right

Ma: The fourth one: If the window doesn't catch fire, please don't jump off the building, but if you really want to go to the West, then you can jump.

Jing: right

Ma: The fifth one；; In case of fire, if your bedroom is on fire, please go to the toilet, if the toilet is on fire, please go to the living room, if the living room is on fire, please go to the kitchen, if the kitchen is on fire, please go to the study. If the study is on fire, please go to the corridor. If the corridor is on fire, you should commit suicide.

Jing: right

horse; The sixth one: Please don't call 119 when a fire breaks out, which will affect our sleep. Do you know that we can only sleep . hours a day (omitting 1 zeros this time) 1 hours, so please call 114 first and inform us after booking. Thank you.

Jing: RIGHT^^^ Well, something is wrong. (Roar) Come out!

ma: (aggrieved) what's wrong with me? ! ? !

Jing: (angry) Do you know that firemen should be public servants of people? Now you regard people as public servants of firemen! How do you become a fireman? Be careful ... Hey hey.

ma: no! Playing lines with double reeds

1. Opening remarks: Today, we are going to perform a double reed, which is interesting. It requires one person to perform in front and the other person to say lines in the back. From a distance, it looks like one person. This requires that the performances of the two people should be very tacit. Hurry up, hurry up, put on makeup, as the saying goes, people accompany clothes and horses with saddles, and people are not beautiful until they are successful. After this person is successful, let's take a look, it is better not to be successful! Next, we will bring you a new work called "Happiness Makes Sorrow". I hope you like it!

A: The city of life is precious, but the price of love is higher. In order to earn RMB, I am willing to become a shemale. I haven't introduced myself yet. My surname is Zhao, and I was nicknamed Zhao shemale. When friends present see me later, just call me by my nickname. Ask me what my nickname is and tell everyone that my nickname is shemale. I am a shemale, I am a shemale, am I really a shemale? (stop, stop! ! You come out, how can I come out in your mouth and become an adult demon? Am I a shemale?

B: Sorry, never, never!

A: My surname is Zhao, and my name is Zhao Zhixiang. The media said that I look very special, and my face looks like slippers. Because of this, many singers sang a popular song for me because of this reason, which quickly became popular. What song is so influential is the song "I am not Zhao Zhongxiang" sung by Rollin Wang. thank you (Stop! Is this the song Rollin Wang sang? People sing "I'm not Huang Rong", so what kind of cultural level is this performance! Never! ) my job is to promote sales. I have a unique skill in promoting products, and I talk straight.