"I will work in the fields after I am born." Mother-in-law doesn't like daughter-in-law's affectation. What do you think of such a mother-in-law

Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has eased to a great extent than in the past, in some people's eyes, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies. They have even heard the saying that a mother-in-law means to let her daughter-in-law live her life again.

What do you mean by that? Mother-in-law is also coming from her daughter-in-law, and she knows the untold sufferings of women in her husband's family. It is precisely because I know very well that it is not easy to be a daughter-in-law, so I want my daughter-in-law to bear all the pains she suffered as a first-time woman, and pass on the unequal relationship model that should not be followed between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law from generation to generation.

Actually, I don't agree with this view. Most mother-in-law is kinder, more tolerant and considerate to her daughter-in-law because her daughter-in-law has suffered a lot, and spares no effort to convey goodwill to her daughter-in-law. They are more willing to exchange sincere kindness for each other's sincerity than to restrain their daughter-in-law with unfair treatment.

But there are also a few mothers-in-law, who do have some ideological problems and lack the way to consider them. I like to see things from my own life experience.

There is a saying that "I eat more salt than you do". It is this pride of the elderly that makes them not good at seeing problems objectively, but only from their own point of view, their ideas will inevitably be unfair.

It is not that they really want their daughter-in-law to suffer what she has suffered, but that they impose their correct living standards on their daughter-in-law. In fact, they just don't know the truth of empathy.

Some time ago, a reader, Ms. Li, heard a short story between her and her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law is an old lady who doesn't know how to put herself in others' shoes. However, Miss Li, who has a strong personality, is not a role that can be flattened and rounded at will, and can't stand any grievances. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get together, that is, gongs and drums face to face, and a good play is about to begin.

Ms. Li married her husband's family at the age of 24. Her husband is a child from the countryside. Although both parents are farmers, they are big farmers and have their own pig farms. I can't say how rich they are, but they are also a big family in the local area. Ms. Li's husband also has a sister who dropped out of school early and went home to help. As a man in the family, the husband should have helped his parents inherit the family business, but he has his own ambitions and developed into a big city.

After graduating from college, Ms. Li's husband stayed in the big city. Later, by chance, she met Ms. Li through her work partner and came together.

Ms. Li is a local, young and beautiful, and her family is ok. Speaking of her husband, she is really not the best candidate. She could have chosen a city boy with better conditions and better material conditions, but what she likes is her husband's simplicity and reality.

"I'm embarrassed to say it. I don't know what to say. My husband is completely different from other men who chase me. Although he didn't buy any expensive gifts when he was in love, he didn't create any romantic surprises for me, and he didn't say anything sour, but he looked at me with love and silence, but he kept guarding me silently, which made me feel safe.

Although he didn't buy me a gift, he gave me all his salary cards to buy at will. He doesn't blink if I want to, but he really doesn't care. I took a fancy to him. His unpretentious love for me makes me feel good.

So when he said he would marry me, I promised him without hesitation. I think he is a person who deserves to be entrusted for life. "

Ms. Li's vision is not wrong. After marrying her husband, Ms. Li lived a very happy life. Her husband always follows her and apologizes for any contradiction. Once, Ms. Li asked her husband curiously why he was never angry with himself. Her husband's answer moved her very much.

"You are my wife and the most important person in my life. Of course I will be angry, but I know that being angry will make people talk rashly and lose their minds. I am afraid that I will hurt you and our feelings. I still want to spend my whole life with you. Why should I be angry with you? "

In the second year of marriage, Ms. Li and her husband had the crystallization of love. A little boy who looks like his father is very happy, and the whole family is very happy. Her husband is even more ecstatic. For the first time, he shed tears in front of Ms. Li, and even took a half-month leave. After he was busy, he waited on Ms. Li for confinement.

I washed Ms. Li's hair and wiped her body and changed the baby's diaper. Nothing is fake. My mother-in-law came to see her grandson several times and watched Ms. Li's husband work hard. She hesitated several times and looked gloomy, but in the end, because Ms. Li's mother was here, she said nothing.

In fact, Ms. Li saw everything, and her mother-in-law didn't say anything, and she didn't have to look for anything. Just ignore it and everything was fine.

My son is five years old this year. Ms. Li has never taken her children to work at home, but her husband has never despised her.

Last year, Ms. Li became pregnant again. She and her husband have always wanted a daughter, just thinking about it. They didn't deliberately want to have a second child. Now they have a baby by accident. Both husband and wife believe that this is a gift from God and decide to have children.

This time, Ms. Li's mother just had minor leg surgery and could not take care of Ms. Li's confinement. Her husband took her mother-in-law from the countryside.

Actually, my mother-in-law did nothing. Ms. Li, I'm sorry, be a mother-in-law Every time she has something to do, she lets her husband do it. She tried to put up with her husband's death. Her husband is also used to Ms. Li's reaction. It was originally a good scene for couples to play the piano and sing, but it was not the case in the eyes of her mother-in-law.

In Ms. Li's second month, many relatives of her husband's family came to visit. After watching the children and exchanging pleasantries with Ms. Li, her mother-in-law will lead people out of the room, say a few affectionate words and then send them away. Once my mother-in-law's elder sister came over. Mother-in-law took people out as usual and took them to her room to chat. Maybe the room is not soundproof, or maybe her mother-in-law told Ms. Li. Anyway, Ms. Li heard what her mother-in-law said clearly.

"Elder sister, you don't know, my daughter-in-law is really melodramatic. Doing anything for a month will make my eldest son run around. It's not good to eat an apple and wash it. You have to peel it. It is not good to cut it into small pieces and feed it to my son. Oh, hey, I really don't like it.

This is not the first time I have been confined to the moon. I don't think we were confined at that time. Like me, I have been working in the fields since I was born. How could I be so fragile, really pretending? "

Ms. Li can make up her mind now. She stood up. She is not prepared to put up with it or pretend not to hear it at all. She immediately opened the door and said to her mother-in-law.

"Mother-in-law, what you said is wrong. How sad it would be for a woman if she couldn't enjoy her husband's love in confinement. It's not something to show off that you can still work in the fields after giving birth. What bad luck. I'm different if you don't blame anyone. I am hypocritical, but someone loves me. what can I do? If I want to work in the fields, I have to let him do it. "

After listening to Ms. Li's words, her face turned black and white, and her muscles trembled a few times to say something, but she said nothing.

Later, Ms. Li's husband came back to know about it and showed her attitude to her mother-in-law very seriously: "Mom, how can a woman work directly in the fields without confinement?" It was common in your time, but it's different now. Please don't say that.

My son knows that you have worked hard all your life, and he doesn't want to see me work hard, but this is what I should do, so leave it alone. "

The mother-in-law wanted to educate her daughter-in-law, but she was ridiculed. She refused to speak for her when she saw her son. She could only say that she was old and useless, and left angrily without saying anything.

The problems in Ms. Li's family are actually obvious. What is the basis for her mother-in-law to say these words? To tell the truth, she may not be looking for trouble. She really thinks that her daughter-in-law is hypocritical because she is suffering. She doesn't have the ostentation and extravagance of raising children with the whole family. She gave birth on the kang and worked in the field. Perhaps the only better supplement is boiled eggs with brown sugar.

A mother-in-law who has experienced such treatment is certainly unhappy when she sees her daughter-in-law's feet touching the ground, and it is extremely expensive. She felt that there was no need to make a mountain out of a molehill or take confinement so seriously, so she felt that her daughter-in-law made a mountain out of a molehill and did not like it from the bottom of her heart.

In the past, there were many children, and giving birth to children was not the same thing. But now times have changed. A family often has only one or two children, and the mother is of course precious. It is also appropriate to take a fancy to some.

Although what Ms. Li said is very irritating, it is actually true. The daughter-in-law has a son who is in pain, and one of them is willing to fight, and the daughter-in-law hurts herself. This is the performance of a good man, and it is also a symbol of family happiness and harmony between husband and wife. My mother-in-law should be happy.

What the mother-in-law fears most is that she has no empathy. If they can think of each other, you should also understand that what a woman needs most when giving birth to a child is the care of her family and the love of her husband.

Daughter-in-law should also understand her mother-in-law. Sometimes she may not be completely mean. Of course, this is not to tell her to be patient, but not to think too badly of her mother-in-law.

From Ms. Li's story, we can easily see that, in the final analysis, men play a much more important role in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Only when a man has a flat bowl of water can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be stable, he can understand his wife's difficulties, forgive his mother's heart, be filial and maintain a small family. A man's attitude is an antidote to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it may also be a poison.

Family harmony requires the joint efforts of all family members. Whenever, the words "caring for others" are forgotten. Be kind to each other, happiness is actually very close.