Requesting the funniest joke

The rogue said: "People call me rogue, which sounds nice!"

The samurai said: "People call me warrior, which sounds nice!"

The master said : "People call me Gao Ren, which sounds nice!"

The swordsman said: "You guys chat, I'll leave first!"

The student from Peking University said: I'm from Peking University.

The student from Tianjin University said: I am a great student.

The student from Shanghai University said: I am a university student.

Xiamen University said: You guys chat, I’m leaving first!

General Li Zongren said: I am a kind person!

General Fu Zuoyi said: I am a righteous person!

General Yu Dawei said: I am a promising person!

General Huo Qubing said: You guys chat, I’ll leave first!

Students from the Normal College said: I am from the "Normal College"

Students from the Vocational College said: I am from the "Vocational College"

From the Air College The student said: I am from the "Kong College"

The student of the Technical College said: You guys chat, I'm leaving first!

. One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Good morning, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily: "Just good morning? What about my afternoon?" Isn’t it good?”

So the students shouted again: “Good afternoon, teacher!”

The teacher said angrily: “What about me tonight?”

p>

The students shouted again: "Have a good evening, teacher!"

The teacher nodded and said: "That's enough, now shout it again!"

The students They shouted together: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon, and good evening!"

The teacher said: "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. I will say something, and you will say the antonyms out loud. Let’s start now.”

Teacher: “The weather is very good today.”

Student: “The weather is bad today.”

Teacher: “It’s sunny everywhere. ”

Student: “There are clouds everywhere.”

Teacher: “The road is crowded with people.”

Student: “There is no one on the road.”

Teacher: "Young."

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There is a young man lying on the road."

Teacher: "I I found a dollar.”

Student: “I lost a dollar.”

Teacher: “I found a dollar.”

Student: "I lost one yuan and went to steal the teacher."

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!"

Student: "Correct, you should say it like this!"< /p>

Teacher: "Wrong."

Student: "Correct."

Teacher: "This is not okay, this is illegal!"

Student: "This is okay, this is legal behavior!"

Teacher: "I said it was wrong."

Student: "We said it was correct."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct!"

Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!"

Teacher: "You are stupid. ”

Student: “We are smart.

"

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: “Continue!” ”

Teacher: “Stop now!” Stop talking! ”

Student: “Let’s continue now! More to say! ”

Teacher: “You stupid pigs, I say stop!” ”

Student: “We are all geniuses, we say continue!” ”

Teacher: “You listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teacher, listen to us!” ”

Teacher: “Students must listen to the teacher!” ”

Student: “Teachers must listen to their students!” ”

Teacher: “Stop practicing now! ”

Student: “Now let’s continue practicing! ”

Teacher: “Are you done?” ”

Student: “We have a beginning and an end! ”

Teacher: “Then stop!” idiot! ”

Student: “Then we should continue!” genius! "...Then the teacher held the book angrily for a day.

A Chinese teacher from Shandong read an ancient poem by Lu You titled "Wo Chun" to the students and asked the students to take dictation. Come out.

The Chinese teacher read the following and a student dictated the following

"Wo Chun" "I'm Stupid"

The dark plum blossoms smell the flowers, I have no education< /p>

I am lying on a branch with deep sorrow, I have a very low IQ.

I hear it lying like water in the distance. If you want to ask me who I am,

it is easy to reach the spring green. Big stupid donkey.

The bank is green, I am a donkey,

The bank is green, I am a donkey,

The bank is green. I'm stupid as a donkey

I'm stupid when I'm lying in spring.

I'm not educated when I'm sleeping on plum blossoms and smelling flowers.

I only know how to farm.

The fish kisses the stone lying on the water, and wants to ask who I am,

The lying stone answers the spring green. I am a big stupid donkey

1. Question: On one side... on the other side. ... The child wrote: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time (Teacher’s comment: Should he take off his clothes or put them on?)

2. Title: Textbook

The child wrote. : Class is inherently boring. (Teacher’s comment: You have to pay attention in class)

3. Topic: Innocence

Children wrote: It’s so hot today (Teacher’s comment: You are so naive)< /p>

4. Topic: Among them

The child wrote: One of my left feet is injured (Teacher’s comment: Are you a centipede?)

5. Topic. : Look

Children wrote: What are you looking at! I haven’t seen it! (Teacher’s comment: Don’t be too cool!)

6. Make the same sentence example: You (singing) I (dancing)

Children wrote: You (are you good) I (very good) Teacher’s comment: Are you writing an English translation? )

7. Make the same sentence example: Everyone else is Praise me (), actually I ()

The child wrote: Others praise me (very handsome), but actually I (wear a mask) (Teacher’s comment: What kind of mask is so useful?)

8. Topic: One after another

The children wrote: After work, dad comes back one after another (Teacher’s comment: How many dads do you have?)

< p>9. Topic: First...and then...Example: Eat first and then take a shower.

Children write: Goodbye, sir!

10. Skin torn

The child wrote: At night when there was a power outage, everything was dark, and I was scared to death! (Teacher’s comment: After seeing this sentence, the teacher admires you.)

11. Topic: Thriving - a metaphor for beautiful growth.

Children wrote: My brother is thriving. (Teacher’s comment: My child, is your brother a vegetable? )

There is another one that is even more amazing. The children wrote: Xinxin confessed to Rongrong. (Teacher’s comment: Don’t watch too many TV series.)

12. Topic: Sure enough

The child wrote: Yesterday I ate fruit and drank cold water. (Teacher’s comment: This is a phrase and cannot be separated into sentences.

) The child said again: "Teacher, I haven't finished speaking yet. Sure enough, I had diarrhea at night!" (Teacher......)

13. Topic: Delicious

The children wrote: It tastes so good. (Teacher’s comment:...)

14. Topic: Moreover

Children wrote: A train passed by, besides, besides, besides, besides... (teacher...)

< p>One day, it started to rain, and the father said to his son: "Son, if someone comes to borrow an umbrella, you should refuse him. I will hide in the room first!" As soon as the father hid in the room, someone came to borrow it. Umbrella, the son said: "No, if you borrow one and he borrows one, our family will not have an umbrella!" After that, the man left. Dad came out and said: "At this time, you should say this: 'I have an umbrella, but the bones are broken and the skin is torn. I have thrown it away a long time ago!'" After the father finished speaking, he hid in again. At this time, the neighbor came to borrow the cat, and the son said: "There is an umbrella, but it is broken. The bones fell apart and the skin was torn. They had been thrown away a long time ago!" After hearing this, the neighbor left. Dad came out again and said, "You should say: 'The cat has been weak recently and is about to give birth to kittens. It is being tied up in the warehouse! '" After saying that, Dad hid in the room again. At this time, Dad's colleague came to find Dad, and the son said: "Dad has been weak recently and is about to give birth to a child. He is chained up in the warehouse!" The colleague laughed and said After leaving, my father was so angry that he fainted in the room!!! Xiao Ming was scolding him and he was so angry

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "1+1=?" Xiao Ming didn't know, so the teacher called him Go back and ask your parents. Xiao Ming first asked his father, who was trading in stocks, and said: "It's gone up, it's gone up!" Then he asked his mother, who was quarreling with a neighbor and said, "You don't have to worry about it!" Xiao Ming went to ask his grandfather again. While singing: "Go forward, go forward!" Xiao Ming asked his sister again. She was in love. She said first: "My dear, where are we going?" and then said: "Let's go, my dear!" Xiao Ming had no choice but to go. I asked my younger brother, who was playing with toys and said: "I am the Invincible King Kong!"

The next day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming 1+1=?, Xiao Ming said: "It has gone up, it has gone up!" The teacher Said: "What are you talking about?" Xiao Ming said: "You don't have to worry about it!" The teacher said: "You stand at the back of the classroom!" Xiao Ming said: "Move forward, move forward!" After class, the teacher said: " Come with me!" Xiao Ming said: "Dear, where are we going?" The teacher said: "Go to my office!" Xiao Ming said: "Let's go, dear!" The teacher was very angry and said: "You think Who are you?" Xiao Ming replied: "I am the Invincible King Kong!" After saying that, the teacher fainted!!!