Why do people ask when a person is too busy with two children, where is your mother-in-law?

Because in our concept of life, it has become a matter of course for mother-in-law to help with children. If the mother-in-law doesn't help with the children, someone will ask, not to mention that one person is too busy with two children. Let me start with an incident that happened to me.

My husband's sister-in-law and mother-in-law helped him with his children for several years. Because my hometown is a rural area, there is a busy farming time of half a month in April every year, and my children are a little older now. My mother-in-law wants to go back to her hometown to help her father-in-law finish his farm work and then come back. My sister-in-law quit and had a big fight with her father-in-law, saying that she didn't want to see the children, as if they were her mother-in-law's.

The two old people thought that their son was married and had children in his thirties. They hold their grandson in their hands and regard it as a treasure, lest it fall into their mouths and melt. Since the child was dissatisfied with the moonlit night, the mother-in-law has been holding it, and sometimes she is called to hold the child at two or three in the evening. Her mother-in-law couldn't sleep one night, and the next day, because her son had to go to work. Get up on time to cook for his son. Until now, when she was 4 years old, her mother-in-law still slept with her child in her arms.

In my hometown, I built a house in my hometown first when I got married, but I didn't want to, and later I bought them a set in the city. They spent all their savings and owed hundreds of thousands. After they got married, the two old people were paying their debts. The old man is over 60 years old and has no other skills except relying on that land.

I thought my daughter-in-law could understand their hard work in recent years, but who knows that she said such things. Originally, my in-laws didn't expect anything in return from them, and they didn't take the hard work of their sons and daughters-in-law for granted. He was so angry that he didn't eat for several days and didn't say anything to ask his mother-in-law to help them again.

Then there is this problem. Everyone thinks this is a matter of course. Why don't some people do this? What's more, this friend mentioned that it is more natural for a person to bring two children and her mother-in-law to help. I think that's why most people ask this question.

I have a deep understanding of the phenomenon that someone asks your mother-in-law when the subject is too busy for one person to take care of two children. I work more freely and take care of the baby myself when I have time. Sometimes when I meet an acquaintance in the community, someone will ask, what about the grandmother? Did grandma go back to her hometown? Questions like this.

First of all, I thought about why some people like to ask such questions, because the current social reality is that most people bring their children down by their mother-in-law or grandmother with the help of their mothers, and some people even take them directly to their grandparents when they are born, so if someone sees you taking your children alone, they will feel very curious, why the children are not taken by their grandparents, but by their mothers.

Secondly, there are two reasons why children are brought up by grandparents after birth. The first reason is that life is stressful now, parents are busy with work, and it is difficult to have time to take care of children at home. I always have grandparents or grandparents to help me. The second reason is that there are more only children after 8090, and they have been spoiled since childhood and their self-care ability is average. After giving birth to a child, I can't take care of myself, so I can only rely on my grandparents or grandparents to help me.

Finally, I think it's really great for the subject to be a full-time mother and take care of two children alone, so don't mind what questions others ask you. It's most important to live your life well.

In today's society, the pressure is so great that it is difficult to make money. Young people go to work to earn money to support their families, and rarely take care of their babies full-time after giving birth. Basically, it has become a "baby-free" household, and the responsibility of taking care of the baby is handed over to the mother-in-law.

After all, when you are old, you should take care of your grandchildren at home and let young people travel. Everyone's ideas are basically the same. I am also a second-born mother. Bauer is only four months old and Dabao is only two years old. Dabao has always been brought by her mother-in-law, while Bauer brought it by himself. After all, neither of my mother-in-law can bring it. I sometimes take Bauer out for a walk, and older people will ask me: Why don't you go to work? Why didn't grandma bring it? I looked around, and basically grandma took her grandson out to play, and they had nothing in common, and then I came back awkwardly ... so everyone was thinking, young people will take them to grandma when they have children, and they should go to work when they go to work.

But if conditions permit, you can also hire a nanny. Then someone will share it with you, and you won't be in a hurry. There is another situation: the mother-in-law has a good job and a good salary. If you can't quit your job and help bring your grandchildren, you have no choice but to bring them yourself. In my present situation, my mother-in-law has no job or money, so she must help me with my children. Dabao was my mother-in-law, and I went to work. Now that I have Bauer, there is not much difference between the two children. Mother-in-law can't take care of it alone, Bauer can only take care of it himself. Taking care of children is not an easy job. I am very tired, but I must be careful everywhere. I admire you for taking two by yourself! Come on, everybody. Get through this and everything will be fine! [Mutual powder] [Come to see me]

First of all, thank you very much for answering this question here. Let me take you into this question. Now let's discuss it together.

I have a deep understanding of the phenomenon that someone asks your mother-in-law when the subject is too busy for one person to take care of two children. I work more freely and take care of the baby myself when I have time. Sometimes when I meet an acquaintance in the community, someone will ask, what about the grandmother? Did grandma go back to her hometown? Questions like this.

First of all, I thought about why some people like to ask such questions, because the current social reality is that most people bring their children down by their mother-in-law or grandmother with the help of their mothers, and some people even take them directly to their grandparents when they are born, so if someone sees you taking your children alone, they will feel very curious, why the children are not taken by their grandparents, but by their mothers.

Secondly, there are two reasons why children are brought up by grandparents after birth. The first reason is that life is stressful now, parents are busy with work, and it is difficult to have time to take care of children at home. I always have grandparents or grandparents to help me. The second reason is that there are more only children after 8090, and they have been spoiled since childhood and their self-care ability is average. After giving birth to a child, I can't take care of myself, so I can only rely on my grandparents or grandparents to help me.

Finally, I think it's really great for the subject to be a full-time mother and take care of two children by herself, so don't mind what questions others ask you. Living your own life is the most important thing.

The answers to this question shared above are all personal opinions and suggestions. I hope the answer to this question I shared can help everyone.

Meanwhile, I hope you like my sharing. If you have a better answer to this question, please share your comments and discuss this topic with me.

Finally, here I am. I wish you all a happy life, good health, a prosperous family and everything, a big fortune every year and a prosperous business. Thank you!

Many people watched me take care of the children alone. I was busy outside, but no elder helped me. Nobody cares whether you are sick or not. Just ask your mother-in-law. My mother-in-law doesn't care about her children. How can she care about my children? It's good she didn't kill them. She doesn't care enough about herself. She told me the situation twice at a time, but she could only laugh it off if it was too much.

People who ask such questions generally like to dig and gossip.

In China, it is a common achievement that the mother-in-law should take care of her grandchildren, and the grandchildren become suitable candidates for her parents-in-law. In-laws bring up grandchildren, and the family is harmonious. In-laws don't take grandchildren, chickens fly and dogs jump. Everyone's logic is that if someone's daughter marries your family and gives birth to a child with your surname, who won't you take?

This is a kind of collective unconsciousness, and it is also an expectation of everyone. Therefore, when you see a mother raising a child alone without the help of her mother-in-law, you will immediately think of an old gossip story-the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This story has been staged since ancient times. Watching TV dramas involving life emotions, as long as there is a mother-in-law, there will always be fights between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. If you act your mother-in-law like a mother, everyone will feel fake.

People naturally like listening to stories and telling stories. I used to broadcast the news, but later I told it. The news was told as a story and everyone liked it very much. In the past, legal programs were all cold legal explanations, but now they are all scenes reappearing, all kinds of suspense foreshadowing and advancing step by step, just like watching detective dramas, which makes people want to stop. Look at all kinds of official WeChat accounts. Everyone likes to start with "a friend of mine". Stories are everywhere. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is an enduring story. The more controversial points, the more heated the discussion, and you can chat with anyone.

It is also very important that people who ask such questions are often-especially-not-idle!

Especially idle people have time to gossip about others, and then have time to spread these gossips. According to my observation, people who ask such questions are generally over 50 years old, and many of them have retired. Besides watching TV, they usually play cards and chat. How often do they ask "Where is your mother-in-law" and "Have you eaten?" .

There are also young mothers who ask each other "where is your mother-in-law" after meeting, which is the opening remarks to pour out their inner dissatisfaction and seek approval. After all, finding a fellow traveler will make our parenting road less lonely.

In view of this problem, we might as well discuss it with exclusion method!

First of all, when a person sees his mother with two children, he will instinctively feel that his mother is very hard and may not be able to cope alone. Then there are only two normal reactions.

One is to praise "Wow! You're amazing. One person can take two children, but I can't! " . The other is the suggestion, "You have to take care of two children by yourself. It's so hard. Why don't you ask someone for help?" So who's in charge? Relatives of the children, of course! There is no reason to ask her, "Hey, why don't you let Lao Wang next door take care of the children?" Right? This is very embarrassing! Just kidding. Let's analyze why we always mention our relatives' mother-in-law and not others.

Let's start with men. Thousands of years of patriarchal society in China has created a situation in which men dominate the outside and women dominate the inside! Although times have changed now, the idea that men earn money outside instead of taking care of their children at home, washing and cooking has been deeply rooted in people's hearts. Then there are only children, grandmothers and grandmothers left, suitable for taking care of children! It seems that anyone can bring it, but why does everyone think it should be the mother-in-law? This still comes down to the culture handed down in China for thousands of years. Grandson takes the man's surname, marries a woman and throws water. It is not difficult to understand why others will ask why they don't let their mother-in-law take it!

In fact, many families are only children now, and there is no obvious division of grandchildren. They are the closest relatives. I can't put it down when I see the baby. There are many families where grandma is taking care of grandchildren. It's just that this traditional concept of grandma bringing up grandchildren makes sense in some people's hearts.

The ancients cloud; A gentleman seeks for himself, while a villain seeks for others. In other words, when encountering problems, we must first reflect on ourselves. Before having a baby, you have to predict two things. One is that the conditions are very good and you can solve it yourself. Ask your aunt for help, your mother-in-law for help and your grandmother for help. The other is that you are tired. If it is the latter, there is a way to solve it, work hard and persist, because we are responsible for our children. It will pay off in the future. Children are knowledgeable and filial to their parents. This is a reward. Raising two children is not easy. Work hard, come on!

It's simple, because the child belongs to her mother-in-law. This is a tradition of people for thousands of years, and it can also be said to be a habit. This concept has been deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Although it is not the mother-in-law's obligation to take care of the children, the mother-in-law should be the first person to take care of the children. This is why people always ask, where is your mother-in-law? Aren't you going to take care of your children?

To be fair here, being a mother-in-law is not easy. After marrying a daughter-in-law, there are many things at home and abroad. Let's be considerate and help each other.

Since ancient times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law feel tied together. When they saw their daughter-in-law taking care of the baby alone, they felt that their mother-in-law would not help. If the mother-in-law is ill in hospital and only her son is taking care of her, people around her will definitely say that her daughter-in-law is unfilial, or even her mother-in-law is unfilial. Although it is 2 1 century, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law remains the same, without much improvement. Unless she is a rich family, she can pay for someone.