Worried about the relationship between sister and brother that is getting further and further apart

My brother and I grew up playing around each other. The more we fought, the better and deeper the relationship became.

I still remember the two of us walking home from working in the fields. The more we talked, the more we became more and more speculative. I sighed: If I get married in the future, I should look for someone like you, because of your way of thinking. I am clear and calm, taking the overall situation into consideration; but you should not find someone like your sister, I am too emotional and my mood fluctuates...

I still remember when I was in high school, I would go home once a month. It is necessary to improve the food at home, such as killing chickens. You always joke: Sister, when you come back, our chickens will suffer. Saying this, you will put chicken legs, chicken wings and chicken into my bowl from time to time... …

I still remember that you just got out of school and went to work in an ironworks. I went to visit you on the weekend and was very sad when I saw your face was black and red due to welding, but you laughed and said you learned how to do it. Here’s a trick to avoid being hungry when eating: Fill half the bowl first, and be sure to finish it first, then fill the second bowl full. This way, you won’t be so hungry that your belly sticks to your back before you get off work. I feel even more sad: This is a skill I learned after many hungry meals...

I still remember when my eldest nephew was just born, you said to your son with the joy of becoming a father for the first time: "My son Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't give you a sister." I understand, you also want your son to have a sister, like you, a sister who cares and loves...

In those years, the siblings really had a deep relationship and understood each other. We were both worried about whether our parents would quarrel when we were in school, and we were worried about not being able to go to the fields to help our parents set up the plastic greenhouses that might be scratched and torn on a windy and rainy day when we were studying. My mother was bedridden due to illness, and my father had to take care of me and had no time to take care of the crops. When I went to work in the fields, you were not as good as a hoe at that time, but you no longer bargained, no longer glib, and took the initiative to ask for more work...

Too many.

So, after my eldest nephew was born, because I was taking care of him in the hospital (actually, I could only visit him in the incubator for ten minutes a day, while my younger brother and sister were being cared for in another hospital), the little guy The first relative you see when you open your eyes is me. You have sighed more than once: When our child grows up, he will definitely be more filial to you than his mother and us. After all, the first thing he sees is you!

So, after my second child was born, I naturally became close to his uncle, and you also changed that your two children were not very good at holding them when they were young, and you often couldn’t bear to let go of your nephew...

But, but...

But as we have been married longer and longer, our lifestyles and rhythms have become more and more different. I have found that the relationship between brother and sister seems to be diluted and diluted. . Once I had this realization, I couldn't help but feel sad and heartbroken.

Once upon a time, I thought that the learning problems of my nieces and nephews must be my responsibility. As the two children grow up, I have to admit: I am really bad at studying habits and abilities. Seeing their unsatisfactory results, I blamed myself: I was still teaching and educating people on the podium, but I couldn't even solve my nephew's learning problems! Of course, I also read the irritability and helplessness in my brother’s eyes: Even he, a teacher, can’t help me!

My husband is a good man who lives at home with no desires or demands. He is considerate of everything big and small in daily life, and he has no macho complex. Therefore, after so many years of marriage, I have been spoiled to the point where my ability to live has become increasingly low. Of course, I also have enough time to spend on the things I love in my business. Especially after the birth of my second child, I am really not qualified as a mother. This can be seen from the fact that my son looks for his father to cuddle him when he goes to bed at night and calls him daddy first when he wakes up in the morning. Last year, due to special circumstances, I was busier than before. My mother and brother were very distressed when they found out. My brother, in particular, asked me bluntly, what was going on with my brother-in-law, why did I have to work so hard, if I was short of money? Let me know, I really can’t stand me working so hard! I explained that it was my responsibility and had nothing to do with anyone else, but this did not dispel my brother's prejudice that his brother-in-law did not care about his sister.

In addition, my brother wanted my husband and I to live a more comfortable life, so he continuously invited my husband to join in the business they were doing, thinking about sales and customer sources, etc., and would take care of things for us. Well, life will always be more flexible with more income.

Unfortunately, we are office workers and lack the energy to do business. My husband is even more worried about this and that and has little interest in it. My younger brother and sister are watching the best business season and we are indifferent. It’s really for me. The two were anxious, and by the way, they had a new dissatisfaction with their brother-in-law - why not use their spare time after work to work harder to make my sister's life more satisfying and make her less busy?

Over time, there was a gap between my husband and my brother. In addition, their personalities and ways of dealing with things were different, which made the gap even more obvious. As the link between them, I was naturally in a dilemma. My dear friends have all devoted their hearts and souls to me, so why can’t we get along with each other?

Coupled with other details, slowly brewing and fermenting, I feel more and more that I am a mouse in the bellows - getting angry from both ends, and at the same time because I naturally protect my mother-in-law, I have sex with my husband more than once. Dispute...

Tired! Tired! Emotions affected!

This is my most personal experience. What makes me even more sad is that the interactions between the two small families are slowly decreasing now. Maybe both parties are carefully avoiding it.

Why do you always think about doing the best for the other person and think about each other all the time, but gradually become cautious when getting along? This is obviously the most familiar and closest person in the world. The more we get farther and farther away, the more unfamiliar we become unconsciously!

I am very sad, very sad! I don't want this situation to continue! The two siblings who are equally strong, and the two small families behind them, how to get out of the current haze is what I need to solve most urgently!

Even though we are almost middle-aged, we still find out: how to control the relationship between people, especially those who are close to each other, and how to find appropriate boundaries so that each other can get along with each other freely and happily. , it’s really not an easy task!

Of course, I will keep working hard and moving towards my goal!