How can you tell a person’s character in a short time?

Tao Li does not say anything, but it is his own fault. Character is the foundation of a person's conduct in the world.

People like to associate with people of good character, and those with bad character will eventually be cast aside.

So how can you tell a person’s character in a short time? There is a book gentleman here to give you advice.

1. Look at what he says

An ancient saying goes: "The mouth can spit out roses, and it can also spit out thorns." Words reveal a person's character.

It was a hot summer day a few days ago. We talked about couriers and food delivery people, saying that what they earn is hard-earned money, and they come and go in rain or shine, no matter it is unbearably hot or windy Even if it rains, I have to run on the road.

Just when we lamented that life is not easy, a colleague disagreed. She said that people are divided into three, six, and nine grades. They have no ability and background. If they don’t want to be couriers, what else do they want to do?

Another colleague was very outspoken. She said, "You can't look down on people like that. We are no better than them." Although people do hard work, they make money through their own sweat. Hearing this, Youshujun didn't want to say anything more.

A humble person does not talk big words, a practical person does not talk nonsense; an elegant person does not use dirty words;

A moral person never uses dirty words. Therefore, if you want to see a person's character in a short time, you might as well listen to what he says with your "heart".

2. Look at the details

Sima Qian once said: The pattern is seen in small things, and the character is seen in the details. In the face of big things, people often "decorate" deliberately, and some small details are often ignored. However, it is these undisguised details that best show a person's true colors.

You Shujun’s mother once got very close to an aunt. That aunt spoke very nicely and we all liked her very much.

But after a while, her mother stopped communicating with her.

After asking, I found out that once, my mother and aunt went shopping together and bought a large bag of fruit for them to go home and share.

Later, my mother discovered that she had given all the good things to herself, and all the small and bad things to her mother.

Therefore, if you want to see a person's character in a short time, the best way is to look at the inconspicuous little things and details related to it.

3. Look at emergencies

In emergencies, people will instinctively make some reactions. These instinctive reactions may be deeply hidden by people, but they are the most revealing. Of a person's character. Youshujun talks about two things that he has experienced personally.

A few years ago, You Shujun went out to play with his relatives and family.

At that time, I was sitting in a new car that my relatives had just bought. Dabao, I, and three relatives were sitting in the back seat together. Unexpectedly, suddenly, all the milk on Dabao’s hand spilled out. My pants and those of my relatives were all soaked, and the milk seeped into the gap between the sofa and the backrest, which required a lot of effort to clean.

I hurriedly grabbed the child's milk and scolded her loudly. The child cried in grievance.

On the contrary, it was a relative. She protected the child and advised me that it was no big deal.

Another incident was a typhoon that Youshujun experienced in 2013.

We were still working at the time. Suddenly, the whole office building felt like an earthquake. The glass walls at the front and back were all blown to the ground. The storms at the front and back struck at the same time. There was Shujun and a female colleague. They hugged each other tightly, trembling with fear.

At that time, the boss was in the office next door. His office also suffered the same destruction. A bookcase was blown over to the ground. No one could predict what would happen in the next second.

But I remember clearly that after a situation arose, the boss rushed to our office as soon as possible to ensure our safety.

After experiencing these two things, Youshujun will know that your reaction and instinct in an emergency are the expression of your character, which is the worst thing you can deceive.

Therefore, if you want to see a person's character in a short time, you might as well "artificially" create an emergency event and see the other person's reaction to roughly see his character.

4. Look at moments of interest

The conflict of interests is like a touchstone, which can often reflect the true form of character. As the saying goes, a brand is like a character. Why? Because when playing cards, there is a conflict of interest.

Take playing cards as an example. If he does not show joy or anger no matter whether he wins or loses, this kind of person is more broad-minded.

There is a poker friend of Shujun. She is the one who eases the atmosphere every time she plays cards. She doesn’t care too much whether she wins or loses money.

In life, she is a relatively easy-going and optimistic person.

On the contrary, as soon as some people lose money or do not play cards for a long time, they will start to complain about everything and everyone, complaining about this and that. Most of these people are preoccupied and have a short temper.

Someone has done an experiment about integrity. In a small store, the experimenter asked the store owner to deliberately give 5 yuan more when giving change, and tested the integrity through the buyer's behavior.

You Shujun feels that this experiment is also suitable for testing character.

Although it is a small amount of 5 yuan, whether to keep it in the pocket or to tell the truth, the two choices reflect completely different attitudes towards life.

Therefore, if you want to see a person's character in a short time, the above two methods are a good way.

In fact, throughout the ages, whether in life or in the workplace, those who remain invincible are those with good character and character. Therefore, whether you are competing for ability, performance, or background, in the final analysis, what you compete for is character.

Some scholars believe that a gentleman is known for his righteousness, and a villain is known for his profit. You must not lose your character for the sake of petty gains.

A person’s character is often reflected in the details of life. If you want to see a person’s character in a short time, there are three aspects:

1. Speaking: 1. Humility , don’t utter arrogant words; be rigorous, don’t hurt others with bad words; speak truthfully to someone’s face; be civilized, don’t use bad words when speaking; ask people by their first names when you first meet them, and don’t give them names when answering; don’t be arrogant, ask for advice when talking to others; don’t talk behind anyone’s back. Speak ill of others and talk more about their good points; do not "pass the microphone", do not pass on right and wrong, and do not spread rumors; do not pretend to understand when you do not understand, but do not feel ashamed to ask; accept help from others and say thank you; always use civilized words: please, you OK, thank you, you're welcome, sorry, it's okay, excuse me, excuse me, lend me light, ask for advice, please, goodbye, etc.

2. Treat others: respect and care for the elderly, do not fight for the way, give way, give up seats, tea, or food; respect leaders without being rude, treat colleagues with respect for each other; take the initiative to change slippers when entering other people's homes ; Don’t touch other people’s things without permission; always face others with a smile; promise not to be late for others’ things, and the most important thing is to return borrowed money on time! ! .

3. Public ethics:

Don’t make loud noises in public places; don’t litter; don’t spit; consciously queue up and not be crowded when getting on the bus; When dining in a restaurant, don’t make loud noises and play guessing games; when staying in a hotel, take care of public property and don’t use pillow towels or sheets to polish your shoes; and walk your dog with a leash! ! !

There are many, many seemingly inconspicuous actions and insignificant words that can reflect a person's quality.

How to see a person’s character in a short time?

First, active interaction. If you move around a lot, your true nature will inevitably show up.

Two, eat together. Observe his table manners to see if he knows how to be humble.

Three, travel together. Observe his ability to adapt to changes and see how he handles situations.

Four, meet friends together. See whether he is sincere in his interactions with friends and whether he is popular with everyone.

Fifth, if the other party is a man, it depends on whether he respects the elderly. If the other person is a woman, it depends on whether she likes children. Men and women who respect the elderly and like children are kind at heart.

It is difficult to understand a person in a short period of time. Character can only be seen through experiences, so it is better to take your time.

1. See how he feels about his parents. How bad can a person be if he is filial to his parents?

2. Look at his attitude towards money. If he is very selfish, he will not be able to have a close relationship! If you are very generous, it means that this person is not a fussy person, but you must make a careful distinction here. Some people don't like to owe others, and they don't like others to owe them. Such people are normal! Don't ask for too much. However, there is a kind of person who likes to pretend to be a big-tailed wolf, so don’t get close to him! Otherwise you will have to wipe his ass for the rest of your life!

3. See if he changes his mobile phone number frequently. If a number has been used for a long time, it means that he owes no debts or love, and he is a nostalgic person. This kind of person values ??feelings!

4. Don’t understand a person from other people’s mouths. This is the most unreliable thing! You need to observe carefully by yourself!

It is unrealistic to see a person clearly in a short period of time, but you can see the person's basic qualities and accomplishments through some small details in life. If the quality and cultivation are good, the tone of this person's life will be similar, but what about the details?

Eat a meal

Let him decide everything, choose the place, the type of food, what kind of environment he chooses, the process of ordering, and his attitude towards the waiter. The quality and quantity of the food you order, whether you worry about waste and need to pack it after eating, who will pay the bill, how much you spent, whether you will listen to your opinions, whether you will think about you, etc., a person who only thinks about himself , whether you are his friend or his lover, you have to follow his footsteps, which is very tiring. This meal, which takes about an hour, can give you a preliminary understanding of your friends.

Go to visit his parents

Mainly to see his attitude towards his parents and his current life situation. In fact, a person's dress can explain a lot of things, especially his hairstyle and shoes, which can reflect a person's taste and preferences from the side. Look at his parents again. Parents are a child's first teachers. Dragon begets dragon, and phoenix begets phoenix. You can also have a general understanding of him from the attitude of his parents in dealing with others.

It takes time to understand a person. It is a wise saying that time will tell people's hearts. Everything takes time, take your time, and don't delay your youth because of temporary judgments. Time flies, and there is no time to look back.

When looking at character in a short period of time, we can focus on observing the following aspects: First, the attitude towards superiors and inferiors (towards the rich and the poor). There is not much difference between people with good character between superiors and inferiors, between poor and rich. It is impossible to say that there is no difference. People with unreliable character are like grandson to superiors and Lao Tzu to subordinates, and their friends only compare themselves with officials. The big ones, those who have more money than themselves, have no feelings for the people and no sympathy for the poor.

The second is, what you say does not mean what you say. People with good character do not talk big words or talk too much, but their words must be followed and their deeds must be resolute. People with unreliable character dare to brag and talk, and the promises they made have long been forgotten. Whether they can keep their word is an important criterion for measuring a person's character.

Third, is it full of lies? Whether your character is good or not, truth is the most important thing. You must be truthful first. Only truthfulness can have sincerity and true feelings. If a person is full of lies, has several versions of one thing, and what he said before becomes another story later, this kind of person is definitely not reliable.

Fourth, ask if you can send a message. People with good character generally don't inquire into other people's private affairs, talk about people behind their backs, and don't gossip. Those who go out of their way to find out about the shortcomings of the Zhang family and the Li family, and spread rumors here and there, love to expose other people's shortcomings, vilify others, and leak other people's privacy intentionally or unintentionally, their character will not be much better.

There are many ways to look at character, but the same principle remains true. His character is hidden in his behavior.

1. When looking at character, look at the details. Everyone has a disguise, whether intentional or not, it will affect your judgment of him or her. But this effect can only be short-term, and with contact, many details will be exposed.

Because details can be seen everywhere, walking, talking, or even a look, you can see something. As long as you observe carefully, it is easy to see a hypocrite.

2. Look at the people around him. It is not unreasonable that birds of a feather flock together and people flock together. Only if we have like-minded people can we play together, otherwise we will just be talking half-heartedly.

3. Also, you have to have a delicate heart and be good at observation. If you are careless, then you have to put more thought into it.

Feel free to add to the above personal opinions

Personality, taken together, can be divided into three areas

The first is dynamics and behavioral habits. His habits mold his behavior, such as spitting everywhere, which shows that he does not pay attention to hygiene, brings disgust to others, and has an impact on children. This kind of person is more self-centered, I do whatever I want, don't care about other people's feelings, and have no sympathy for others.

Second, dress. A person who dresses in pursuit of fashion shows that he insists on following his own path and is not changed by the strange opinions of others, and is relatively firm.

People who dress normally and conservatively are generally more reserved. Such people are more honest and patient.

People who dress casually are lazy and like to meditate.

Third, conversation. People who speak slowly and calmly are thoughtful and patient.

People who speak in a low voice are physically and mentally exhausted and have difficulty making choices.

People who speak in a garrulous voice have a dual personality, are unreliable, and lie too much.

How to see a person’s character in a short time? We can base it on the details of a person's relationship with parents, friends, ordinary people and ordinary things.

The most important thing about a person's character is filial piety. Are you a filial son at home? Are you kind to your parents and family members?

By looking at a person's character, you can learn about the person, the friends he has made, and what his friends say about him.

Whether a person has ability or not is not important, but character is. When a person treats some ordinary people and handles some ordinary things, his character and character can be expressed in all the details.

Whether a person is selfish or not determines his character. A selfish person will always think about his own interests and cannot do anything good.

A person with good character always thinks of others, cares about and cares for others, and does not care about his own interests to help others.

I am Nie Feng, a sincere and kind person. I can tell the power of a horse from a distance, and I can see the heart of a person over time. Good character creates good popularity. A person's character is more important than ability. Don't be afraid of true villains, be afraid of hypocrites. Be kind to others, treat others with sincerity, and be a sincere and kind person.

Character is a person’s foundation. In this complicated and materialistic era, people long to return to their original nature, and at the same time they also long to interact and have affairs with people who are simple at heart. But people's hearts are separated from each other, and it is not easy to see clearly what is hidden deep in a person's heart. As someone who has experienced this, let me share some of my personal suggestions:

1. You just want to be friends and colleagues with him/her

1. Listen to what he/she says and watch what he/she says OK. Confucius said: "Look at what he is, observe where he is, and observe where he is. How can a person be poor? How can a person be poor?" It means: "To understand a person, you should look at the motivations of his words and deeds, and observe the steps he takes." Way, examine what he is doing with peace of mind, how can this person hide it? "First of all, listen to what he/she says, saying that it is a great knowledge, and the tongue is the smallest among all the bodies. But it is also the largest. If a person often lies, makes jokes regardless of the situation, makes random remarks, or speaks harshly, then stay away! The essence of a white lie is still a lie, and a malicious joke comes from the bottom of the heart, but it is just expressed in the form of a joke. In addition to listening, you also need to watch. A person's work style, habits and small details in life can reveal a person's character. When getting along, pay more attention to how he/she gets along with others.

The human heart is more deceitful than anything else. Sometimes people will do whatever they want to achieve their own goals. People who are caught in a situation can easily be blinded, but they can see clearly when looking at others. Only by observing a person's inner motives through his words and deeds, from the outside to the inside, from the outside to the inside, can we better understand a person. I believe what Confucius said is correct!

2. Look at his eyes. The ancients may have had the confusion of not being able to see through people, so they wrote a lot about this. Mencius means that if you want to understand a person clearly, you must look into his eyes when listening to him: "There is no good thing in a person, and the eyes cannot hide the evil. If the heart is right, then the eyes If the heart is not right, the eyes will be dim. Listen to his words and look at his eyes, how can a person be thin?" Whether a person is smart or not depends on whether his eyes are clear, and whether a person's heart is pure or not depends on how clear his eyes are. Not clear. Human eyes are the windows to the soul, and through the eyes, the human soul can be seen at a glance. If you don't dare to look directly at the other person when communicating, and your eyes always flicker in a vague and erratic way, besides being naturally shy, there is probably something wrong with this. Writer Bi Shumin said in "The Woman I Love": "I like women whose eyes are willing to look directly at others... A woman who looks at people with evasive eyes jumping like a grasshopper, I always suspect that she has suffered too much Violation. This may not be her fault, but she has lost the ability to show peace to others. "The eyes are small, but they hide life, which is sad!"

2. You want to establish an intimate relationship with him/her

The intimate relationship here refers to becoming a love or marriage partner. If this is the case, just "listen to his/her words and views" It is not enough to "look at his actions" and "look at his eyes". Only by having close contact can you understand a person more deeply.

3. Go traveling with him/her. Mr. Qian Zhongshu once said in "Fortress Besieged": "The best way to get to know a person is to travel with him." If financial conditions permit and safety can be guaranteed, then take a short-term trip that just goes away. People often encounter difficulties in strange places, and the right and wrong they encounter really test people. Because they have not been practiced, people's subconscious reactions, adaptability, attitudes, etc. are often the most real in this situation. Negative things such as selfishness and carelessness will also be highlighted at this moment. This is also the reason why many lovers’ love ends in vain once they return from traveling. Many people even part ways halfway. People really can't stand the test. In this era of "talking about words and demeanor", the old saying that a friend in need is a friend indeed still applies. If you don't go through ups and downs, if you want to recognize a person in a safe and stable environment, you must have a pair of Sun Wukong. You have a "fiery eye", otherwise you can only see the flowers through the fog. So people often say that traveling before marriage is the touchstone of marriage, and there is nothing wrong with this.

4. Go to his/her house. This is the place where you can most directly see a person’s character. Observing his/her attitude towards his/her parents, brothers and sisters, you can see whether this person is responsible and educated. Observe the atmosphere of the home and the behavior of the parents: A good family atmosphere shapes children's personalities, which are mostly positive and healthy; parents are decent people, have no bad habits, and have a good reputation among the people around them. Parents have set an example for many years, and the children's conduct will also improve. It won't be too bad. In addition, you should also listen to what people say about this person. After all, the people around him/her know more about him/her than you who are just here. Remember to listen to what others say with a discerning heart and learn to think independently.

Having said so much, what I want to say most is: time is a magic mirror. Being able to tell a person's character in a short period of time can only mean two things. One is that you know people with a keen eye, and the other is that your opponent is simple. How many people have been sleeping with each other for decades and still don’t understand each other? How many people only know themselves but not each other, but they think they know everything? The human heart is as deep as the sea, and cannot be penetrated or seen through. Even if you become Sun Wukong, with a pair of blazing golden eyes, you can conquer demons and eliminate demons, but you are covered in hair, so how can you dare to call others demons?

Note: The pictures are all from the Internet