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1. I took a fancy to a girl in the company, so I asked my sister in the department for information. As a result, after dinner in the evening, my sister quietly told me that she had her period these two days. I said, sister, is this the news you inquired about? I am telling the truth!

2. After graduation, how come you all learned to drive! How can I cross the road in the future! So scared, so scared! !

3. Go home on Friday! Seeing my nephew doing his homework at home, I asked him, "Why does the sun rise in the west? You actually did your homework right after the holiday. " My nephew looked at me and said, "It's all because the teacher said it was so tempting." "What did your teacher say? I am very curious! " "The teacher said that whoever scored high in the next exam would be given Q coins." I am dirty. ...

I feel itchy. I went to a small clinic and bought a box of 999 Pi Yanping. The next day, it was found that it had no effect. Can I bear this? Decisively rushed to the clinic "You sell fake drugs? Even if it tastes bad, eating half a box is still not delicious. "

A fool drove to a traffic post and shouted to the traffic police, "What can you do to me if I drive without a driver's license?" The traffic police didn't even look at him. He went to the co-pilot and said to the people inside, "If this SB can get his driver's license, I will cancel your coaching license."

6. Two girls came to the company for an interview, and HR obsequiously asked the boss if he wanted to choose A. She had white skin and long thighs, and nothing was bad. Unexpectedly, the boss fired HR in a fit of pique and took B. Afterwards, the boss talked to him, but Yu Nu didn't let it go. "What does this grandson mean? My daughter is not beautiful? "

7. Go to Beihai, pass by a scenic spot, and two girls take pictures. When they saw me coming, they waved and said, handsome boy, take a picture for me. All right! I quickly took out my mobile phone, pressed it at two beautiful women for a dozen times, and then left with my hands in my pockets. After a few minutes, I wondered if I had missed anything. ............

8. In the past, there was a girl in the class who took out cross-stitch to embroider in English class. At first, she was still hiding, afraid of being admitted by the teacher. She got up her courage when she saw that the teacher ignored her. As soon as she got to English class, she took it out to embroider. She embroidered stitch by stitch for more than two months and finally had to call it a day. . . Today happened to be an English class, and my sister took it out and closed the line. Then the English teacher came over and said, Dare to embroider cross stitch in class? Confiscate!

9. My boyfriend is very stingy. Once, he found that there were mice at home, so he borrowed a mousetrap from his neighbor's house. After borrowing the mousetrap, he weighed it for a long time. He couldn't bear to put a piece of bread on the mousetrap, so he took an advertising leaflet full of food and put it on the clip. The next day, Xiaoxiao, full of expectation, went to the rat trap to have a look, yo! I saw a picture of a mouse on the clip.

10. I went shopping with my friend today, and I advised him to say, "Don't leave your casual shirt in your pants." But he just wouldn't listen. As a result, he was caught red-handed by the security guard when he left the supermarket.

Police station.

1 1. A very funny teacher in high school said that if you don't study hard now, find someone to fill in the blanks later. Study hard now, and you will find multiple-choice objects in the future!

12. The prince becomes a frog and needs three kisses from the princess to become a human being. The frog prince found the princess and asked her for help. The princess kissed her twice and thought it was delicious, so she made a fried frog. Yidian market network

13. When sleeping in the dormitory at night, the tap keeps dripping, which is really unbearable. Because I slept in the upper bunk and my roommate turned it off, she asked me if I could still hear after I went. I said my voice was much lower, and then she swore. I knew you had obsessive-compulsive disorder, and I came back with a fucking look.

14. It's 2: 22 in the morning, the sky is filled with purified air, and the rain falls from the window glass, forming a different kind of beauty. Sleeping in rainy days is a happy thing, and it will be a little foggy in the morning. I'm not sleepy. I sit on the toilet and press my cell phone, thinking about the distance. That man, right, there is no paper in the toilet, damn it, someone, right.

15. I just saw a female classmate send a message saying that her right index finger hurts. I silently commented: My boyfriend is on a business trip. She replied: Yes, how do you know? My life's moral integrity has long been buried in meager resources. ...

16. One day, Coke and coffee were chatting. Coke asked coffee, "Who do you think will live longer?" Coffee slowly replied, "I don't know, it depends on whether your daily routine is normal or not, whether you exercise or not ..." After chatting, the coke was out of breath.

17. Growing up, the only constant is the heart that doesn't like reading.

18. Why does the heart hurt? Because you have a heart attack.

19. One day Altman went to class and the teacher asked questions. Altman raised his hand and the teacher hung up.

20. I watched you walk on the stage with my own eyes, and I don't know if you want to make a fool of yourself.

2 1. The most refreshing sentence when you are sleepy in class is "Let's find a classmate to do this problem on the blackboard."

22. I like you. It's none of your business. I'll try it if I like it. Yidian market network

23. The second row of letters on the keyboard means: I cried after falling in love with each other, and vice versa: attacking and defending is love.

24. I am not the wind, and you are not the sand. No matter how lingering, you can't reach the end of the world.

25. I stayed in a nervous crowd for a long time and found myself normal.

26. I have been determined to be a smart person since I was a child, but I have only succeeded in half, and it is still the second half.

27. I work in an IT company. As we all know, it is normal to work overtime and stay up late every day, and there is no rest.

Maybe. One weekend, everyone was busy all morning. At eleven o'clock, a colleague suddenly got up, dropped a word and rushed out. He said: You are busy. I'll be back when I get married.

28. Don't engage in porcelain without Jin Gangzuan, and don't wear short skirts without golden hoops.

29. Don't be too nice to me, lest I commit suicide.

In fact, the Japanese know nothing but "Japan" and "myself".

3 1. I was blind just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd (www.lizhi 123.net).

I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today.

33. Are you cheap, mistress is there, infertile.

34. Who can have as strong feelings for me as for RMB?

35. The most painful thing in the world is to be awakened by urine after a good sleep.