Friends circle high IQ humorous copy

1. In the middle of the night, I can also see many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food on the street, and suddenly feel very inspirational. I have no reason not to eat when others are still eating so late.

Kidnapper: "I have your head teacher." Student: "I won't give you money." Kidnapper: "I'll let him go immediately if I don't pay." Student: "I'll get the money right away."

I was cleaning at home yesterday, and my daughter-in-law was watching. I said to my daughter-in-law, "daughter-in-law, come on, come on, I will be strong!" " Daughter-in-law said, "Husband, your daughter-in-law is really beautiful!" " "

4. When I was a child, I was called a turtle grandson by my grandmother, a rabbit by my mother, and single dog by others when I grew up. My life is an animal history.

A beautiful girl was in front of me and we looked at each other for a long time. No one broke this calm until my hands were tired and I slowly put down the mirror.

Six. At that time, the teacher told us: Work hard, Tsinghua Peking University is waving to you. I learned later that it was really a wave, but it means that if you leave, you can stay in your cool place.

I will meet each other's parents tomorrow. I'm so nervous. After all, I hit his child first.

When you are in trouble, those who are far away from you are not real friends. Only the people who choose to be with you are the ones who really want to see your jokes.

Nine. A sister told me today that she was unemployed. I asked: Why were you fired? "Sister replied: They think I am fat. I feel wronged for my sister: this is discrimination. You can sue them. Where do you work and what do you do? " Sister: I stepped on my back in the massage parlor.

There are three kinds of interpersonal relationships among girls: those that can be seen without washing your hair, those that can be seen after washing your hair, and those that you don't want to see after washing your hair.

1 1. Contemporary people lack language and can't chat without expression. The whole society, from primary school students to middle-aged and elderly people, is saving expression packs and gradually forming a contempt chain.

Twelve. When I came home from school, my daughter said to her mother, "Puppy love is very serious in our class, and it is all one-on-one." The class teacher was very angry today and criticized 1 1 student at the class meeting. " Mom was stunned and said, "Why is it singular? Is there anyone with two feet on both sides? " The daughter curled her lips and said, "mom, where do you want to go?" One of them is a matchmaker. "

Thirteen. The thin man will never understand the sadness of the fat man standing on the bang, and the fat man will never understand the helplessness of the thin man when eating self-help.

Fourteen. For a long time, the four spiritual pillars supporting my life progress are: waiting for work and waiting for weeks.

5. Wait for the express delivery. Waiting for salary.

15. Waiting in line to see a doctor, an old man walked a little slowly, and a young man behind him said impatiently, you can't hurry, you will never die. I saw the uncle calmly turned around and said simply, young man, there is no distinction between old and young on the road.

16. I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

17. Social status quo: Life and death friends are all over the world, and no one in the same city has dinner together.

18. My girlfriend suddenly sent a message: "I was wrong about you!" I suddenly panicked and seemed unable to hide it, so I had to confess: "Listen to me! Your girlfriend seduced me first! " At the same time, I received a second message from my girlfriend: "There is a man with the same hairstyle on the road!" "

Nineteen. I was a dog in my last life, otherwise I wouldn't be poor, ugly, busy, tired, fat, short, crying and frozen.

20. Don't envy friends who have more steps than you in the sports rankings. They may not have gone far, but their legs are short.

2 1. There was a kissing scene on TV, and the father asked his son to pour a glass of water. Soon, there was a kissing scene on TV. Dad asked his son to pour another glass of water. The son asked, Dad, are you thirsty at the sight of someone kissing?

22. Whenever I want to be lazy, I tell myself that people who are better than me work harder than me, so what's the use of my efforts?

23. To tell the truth, my face is perfect as long as it covers two places, one on the left and the other on the right.

24. I am very naughty at school. Once I forgot to bring my schoolbag to school, and the teacher scolded me and said, "Why didn't you bring your schoolbag to school?" Nothing! "I replied," it's not like I didn't bring anything. I brought a heart ready to go to school at any time. "