Talk to the person who is chatting.

There was a question on the Zhihu the other day:

Can high-frequency chatting produce the illusion of love?

There is a highly praised answer:

Yes, even if there is no feeling of love, there will be feelings of dependence and ambiguity.

You will unconsciously get deeper and deeper, find a topic, and when he doesn't reply to you, he will start thinking, which will make you fall in love. However, he doesn't know all this, and his friends around him don't know that you exist.

This seems to be in line with the psychology of most girls in the ambiguous period. There is no clear relationship, but one step closer than friends.

Some people say that this is the most beautiful moment in love, but others hurt each other under the guise of ambiguity.

0 1

Some time ago, a friend asked me:

If one person chats with you every day, it seems that two people always have endless words and seem to be attracted to each other. Does that mean he likes you?

I told her: not necessarily.

Some people are like this. They won't have much contact with you in real life, but they will interact with you frequently on social software and gradually occupy a large part of your heart.

From life and work to trivial matters, I want to share with you what I had for dinner, just like sharing and communication between lovers, but I don't say anything about your relationship.

When you finally can't help but ask him, or confess, he will answer you with a surprised face:

I have always regarded you as my best friend.

A girl told me before that she wanted to confess. They have been chatting on WeChat for three months, and she feels that their relationship has only taken a step forward.

After reading those chat records, I can only say that most girls will feel that they are in love.

Later, she went to another city without hesitation, wanted to surprise him, and then formally established their relationship. Knocking on his door found that there was already a hostess inside, and she felt as ridiculous as a clown.

You think your relationship with him is just the last layer of enough paper, but I didn't expect him to just treat you as an object of boring entertainment.

Daily care and enthusiastic sharing may be just a kind of spiritual comfort to the other party.

Maybe you have endless topics. You think there is no one in the world who is more suitable for you than him. In fact, you only love your imagination.

Talking doesn't mean you like it.

Ambiguity doesn't mean being together.

02

Some people say that people who take the initiative to talk to you every day must be interested in you to some extent.

There is no denying that no one will talk to a person who is not interested in himself every day.

But if there is such a person around you, you must be careful, because relying on this thing is really terrible.

There is a saying that goes like this:

Too frequent communication can easily lead to an illusion of love, a habit, trust and happiness.

Nowadays, more and more people have become very fragile and may encounter some bad things, so they will become humble, sensitive and even autistic and depressed.

I have a sister who is like this. She is an ordinary girl with a small social circle. She has always been a role with some inferiority.

Later, I met a boy and chatted with her every day. During that time, it was obvious that her personality began to let go a lot. Holding a mobile phone every day, chatting until two or three in the morning will make you reluctant to sleep.

At that time, she was like a little girl in love.

I thought they were in love, but later I learned that the other party had never given her a definite relationship. The two chatted for a long time, and the boy gradually lost interest, from chatting every day to once every three days, and then looking for it once a week.

During the time when she didn't look for her, she began to become sensitive and restless, constantly guessing each other's whereabouts.

Later, because she didn't return the message, she began to bomb by phone until the other party blacked her out and left a sentence:

Will you stop being so annoying? Don't you have a life?

She realized that the "love" she always thought was a joke she directed and performed.

It hit her hard. For a long time, she said that she felt suddenly empty and wanted to send some messages, but she didn't know who to send them to.

This feeling is like being in love for a long time, but being broken up.

But in fact, they never started dating.

03

For the definition of the word "love", the official explanation is this:

Love is an expression of two people's love for each other.

Different times have different definitions. The modern definition is that two people form the most sincere admiration for each other in their own hearts based on certain conditions and the ideal of loving each other, and are eager for each other to become their lifelong partners.

And this premise, love needs "action".

That's why we always say that love is not just talk.

It's like high-frequency chat. Even if you have finished talking about your life, hobbies, family and work, even if you find that the other person is the soul that fits you, you can't call it love.

It may be said that you have the same personality and similar views, but it doesn't mean that the other person must like you.

It is really easy for girls to regard verbal agreement as the illusion of love.

One couple has a very good relationship. When chasing her, he will talk to her every day, but not just chat. He will want to see her every day and do many things that make her feel happy.

Chatting is very important, but it is only a small part of what you really like.

You know, a person who really likes you will know that it is better to show up in front of you with a cup of your favorite milk tea than to talk to you for three days and three nights with a mobile phone.

Some boys send you messages every day, and they just say something when they have nothing to do, wandering on the edge of ambiguity, but never confirming your relationship.

Some boys may not have much words, but they are proving their intentions with practical actions. For example, he rarely sends a circle of friends and directly takes photos of you in the circle of friends.

You know, a person who really likes you won't give you a chance to entertain foolish ideas.

He can't wait to run to you, hug you and tell everyone that this is my girl.

And those boys who only talk to you every day but never act, you are not separated by that mobile phone screen, but by an unreachable distance.

I hope you can all find the boy who won't say you like him through the screen.