Born in a family, life is worse than death, reconciliation or break? This is the best answer I have ever seen.

Before and after the Spring Festival of 20 18, Wang Meng (a pseudonym), a former science champion in the college entrance examination and a graduate student studying in the United States, opened the curtain for children all over the world to sue their biological parents.

I don't know, but it turns out that in this world, there are so many parents with distorted views, so many miserable families and so many devastated children. Shock, shock!

Wan Yan Shu told her parents that Wang Meng 12 didn't go home during the Spring Festival. She broke up with her parents six years ago and blacked out all her parents' contact information.

? So, is it really the best way to separate from the family?

What happened to those people with black parents?

? Born into a family, reconciliation or break, which makes life worse than death?

With these questions, I interviewed those who grew up from "helpless children" to adults, especially those who were "thoroughly remoulded" ...

In Wang Meng's Wan Yan Shu, he tells an "unfortunate" story from childhood to adulthood.

For example, in the first and second grades of primary school, there are cultural performances in the class. The teacher asked to wear shorts, but his mother insisted that he wear pants. Even he offered to bring shorts as a backup, but his mother refused. From small to large, all clothes were chosen according to parents' aesthetics, without respecting his wishes;

? For example, in the fifth and sixth grades, Wang Meng was interested in Olympic Mathematics. But his mother doesn't like him to learn Olympic math. Once he went out to participate in the Olympic math competition and lost his folder. Instead of comforting him, his mother told him, "Now you know the outside world is wonderful!" " "

For example, due to the care of his parents, Wang Meng never peeled eggs when he was a child, and his parents never came forward to protect him when he was laughed at by his relatives.

For example, in the second year of high school, because the surrounding environment was not conducive to study, Wang Meng proposed to change seats, and his father also scolded him: "Why does the school give you preferential treatment?" "You must learn how to get along with people.

? For example, in the college entrance examination, Wang Meng wanted to enter a foreign school, but his parents opposed it. I thought I could get rid of my parents' control by being admitted to Peking University, but my parents asked my aunt in Beijing to take care of Wang Meng. Even in America, parents let familiar friends take care of Wang Meng. ...

Pay attention to the information behind this Wan Yan book. Compared with their experience, Wang Meng's parents are "simply weak"

? "Sunshine" dad was so romantic that he took San Xiao home, so the cowardly mother vented all her grievances and anger on her weak son. At the most intense time, mother rushed out of the kitchen and chased him with a kitchen knife.

? In the fourth grade of "Qingqing" primary school, my father, who was a contractor, went bankrupt and drank at home every day. My father hit my mother, and my mother hit him. Later, his mother divorced and remarried, and he went to his mother. As a result, she refused to let him in. He knelt down and begged his mother, who told his stepfather to go out and kick him out. ...

For example, JHL said, "Wang Meng, compared with me, your parents are already quite responsible. My mother sells clothes, and the quality of her business determines her attitude towards me. When business was bad, I was the object of her beating me, but my father never took care of me and often forced me to help him ask his mother for money. If he comes, he will kiss me and not see anyone for ten and a half months. If you don't come, give it a beating. Once, I got the last place in the exam and got a call from my teacher. For the first time, they formed a United front and rushed to the classroom to give me mixed doubles lessons. What is even more shameful is that after playing enough, they blamed each other in front of the teacher and the whole class. Then, they turned against each other and began to fight with each other ... Even though I wrote these words online at this time, my heart still trembled as usual, even though I am now the father of a junior high school student. " ……

Looking at Douban's "parents are evil" group, nearly 6 million members are really shocked, and every story inside is deeply chilling. There are countless books, and the bitterness of those relatives constantly challenges the lower limit of the worst imagination: Are there really such parents in this world?

As the netizen "experienced people" summed up: there are many ignorant people, greedy people, vicious people, narrow-minded people, cunning and suspicious people, ambitious people, timid people, irritable and reckless people, bullying people ... have these people become great parents, and these bad behaviors and defects disappeared overnight?

No, not only did it not disappear, but it was most truly displayed in front of your children. Slowly boiling water hurts children's feelings like frogs and conveys these qualities in a practical way. Children are often the first or biggest victims.

Is there any solution to this kind of injury?

There are always some people who have taken an unusual path besides complaining and chilling.

For example, Kerr, the best friend of writer Zhou Chong, grew up in this family. When he 10 years old, in midsummer, his uncle-his own uncle-buried explosives under their walls, lit the fuse and blew up their house. At that time, the whole family was sleeping peacefully. Father, mother, him and his brother ...

No one expected that on such a quiet night, an explosion would suddenly occur, destroying their stable life.

Fortunately, people were fine, and everyone climbed out of the ruins. Except for a little skin injury, no one is short of arms and legs. It's just that my uncle committed suicide Father has been crazy since then. After graduating from Keer University, my brother disappeared. I haven't heard from him for ten years. Growing up in such a family, he suffered such bad news that mental trauma was inevitable.

? However, Zhou Cong said: "Second, I have met the smartest, most knowledgeable, most interesting, most transparent, most aura and most grounded people ... no one."

How did he do it?

? Read books, read a lot of books, and know yourself like an invisible man. Then, live in peace with your bipolar disorder. When you are in good shape, create every opportunity to work and change. ...

Zhou Chong has known Ke for nearly ten years. For ten years, I haven't heard a complaint from him about his family background, nor have I heard a criticism from him about his crazy father. On the contrary, I only heard him say that they can't be perfect, so I blame them for being useless. Those who depend on their families all their lives are not real adults.

Yes, only when we begin to understand that life is not someone else's life from the moment we leave our family. Confusion is our own, joy is our own, glory is our own, gloom is our own ... we created everything on our own initiative and can't blame anyone.

In this way, growth will happen slowly.

? Being strong doesn't mean how strong you are, but your ability to choose. Then in that wider place, you will realize one thing: your parents can't give you everything, but you can give yourself everything you want.

In other words, only those who fail will continue to blame their families.

I saw a small video of the company's internal speech in the circle of friends, and I burst into tears.

The hero Sun Tao is the author's friend and teacher. He is brilliant and open-minded.

I didn't know until I saw the video that he was born in a family where his father was willful and his mother was strong. Today, he is the director of a provincial library, but in the eyes of his parents, he is still a person who can be brought here at any time.

For example, my father was admitted to the hospital recently because of brain blockage caused by basic diseases such as hyperlipidemia, hypertension and diabetes. His father scolded him because he gave away the high-sugar cake that his father and classmates gave him. Then, because he couldn't find the exact reason for the numbness of his right palm in the hospital for many days, his mother severely scolded him in the corridor of the hospital, saying that he was "incompetent and useless" ... The familiar doctor was very puzzled: "Is this really your parents?"

If it's true.

His summary of his parents is "low emotional intelligence, mercenary, heartless." All their lives, they have no common sense, no friends and no hobbies, and they have spent all their lives in each other's internal friction.

? Sun Tao's first love died under the strong opposition of her parents. The woman's family knows Sun Tao's parents very well and refuses to let her daughter marry into such a "cruel" family.

? It was this incident that gave Sun Tao the deepest pain and shock. He studied psychology, literature and biology hard, and rose from a worker's family to a provincial librarian position. He loves calligraphy very much and has a public calligraphy class on weekends. He delves into cooking and really doesn't eat heavy dishes 365 days a year; He is the earliest horse racing enthusiast in China, and has completed 143 horse races; At the same time, a well-known wife pet in the circle insists that his wife is the love of his life and the most important person.

? In an internal speech on "Reading to Change Destiny", Sun Tao publicly "exposed" his painful growth experience for the first time, and also shared the wisdom and courage of reading to "reinvent himself". He recited a 20-page "One Hundred Years of Solitude" for everyone, and said with tears: "At that time, every time I was scolded by them, I closed the door and covered myself in bed. Carrying it on my back makes me less sad. I feel that although I was born by them, the book is my real reborn parents. "

This video inadvertently flowed to the Internet, and everyone familiar with Sun Tao knows that he had such a painful growing experience.

? Sun Tao, born again, has not been affirmed by her parents after her success in the traditional sense. They still go their own way in the past life track and parent-child relationship based on lessons, but Sun Tao did not choose to break with the origin of this family. He still goes home to visit his parents once a week, cooks them a nutritious and healthy dinner and tells them what is happening in the outside world. If the atmosphere is better, he will take them out for a walk, or better yet, every year. Although every meal is fragmented and every time I go out, I will end up quarreling, but Sun Tao can do "you quarrel with you, I will do what I think I should do."

? Every time it broke up in discord, Sun Tao patted himself on the shoulder and said to himself, I have grown up and finally stopped planting them. And they, however, are my lifelong negative teaching materials.

? It is the healthiest gene mutation I have ever seen. It has eaten the graben of the origin family, gained wisdom for a lifetime, and constantly reborn, instead of becoming an unfortunate Replicator.

Old friend Lao Cui is also in the sad group.

? 1994 after he went to college, he never asked his parents for money and never went home.

My father once sent a letter to the headmaster's office to humiliate him. So he never went back to his hometown in Henan until he stayed in Beijing after graduation, got married and had children.

? In 20 12, his estranged parents suddenly came to Beijing to look for him. It turned out that when my father suffered from intestinal cancer and had no money for treatment, he remembered that he still had a son. Arriving at Beijing Railway Station, my parents called Lao Cui. Lao Cui let his father live in the hospital, rented a house near the hospital for his mother, and hired a nurse, just like entertaining distant relatives-paying money is ok, showing goodwill, sorry, no!

? Three months later, my father was in stable condition after the operation and asked to go home. Old Cui relented and decided to drive them home. Who knows, the car was hit by porcelain as soon as it entered the village. A hen asked 800 yuan "for the villagers' face", and her parents went home to grab furniture, so they scolded her. ...

When he left home, Lao Cui re-examined his remote village for the first time. This place is more dilapidated and barren than when he left. Those who can leave here will never come back.

The people here, like the land here, have no fresh blood injection, only output, no feedback, and the material and spirit are overdrawn and turned into ruins.

Their parents, who spend their whole lives calculating and even vicious, are the tragedies of their characters. Isn't this barren land providing inferior species? !

? Lao Cui, who wanted to return overnight, didn't leave. She stayed to help her parents decorate the old house, changed their smartphones and installed WIFI at home. On the day when Lao Cui left, his parents, who had never sent him to school since childhood, ran behind his car. Lao Cui cried, dragged them to Beijing, taught them to use mobile phones, taught them to take the subway, accompanied them to the Forbidden City and the Great Wall. Then, they really can't take a vacation, so they use their mobile phones to guide them how to go to various scenic spots by car and tell them what to eat at noon and what to cook for dinner. ...

Three days later, my parents finally waited until the bus was no longer blocked and vomited.

? Five days later, my parents' cooking finally became less salty. Seven days have passed, and parents can already say "thank you" to the little brother who sent the courier at home.

After half a month, my parents were homesick. After returning to their hometown, my mother sent a voice to Lao Cui: Son, my parents' life is not white without you.

? ……

? This sentence made Lao Cui burst into tears. He is glad that he didn't grow up to be like his parents because of resentment, but he is more proud that he has grown up well and can become his parents in a few years to rebuild their cognition limited by poverty or ignorance.

Some parents are really not qualified to be parents, but for them, as children, there is a higher choice besides complaining and breaking up, and that is feedback.

A philosopher said that childhood determines the quality of life in our early life, but growth is something we have to accomplish all our lives. Some people will stay in childhood, always entangled in resentment towards their parents and refused to change and grow up, while others, in pursuit of a full and happy life, struggled to get rid of the cocoon of childhood, as live high liked.

? Say goodbye to childhood, choose to be strong and be brave in giving back. These "children" who were once unbearable to be born into a family gave a better answer than Lahei's breakup when they grew up.