The sadness of long-distance relationship, breaking up to win back your ex-boyfriend

The sadness of long-distance relationship, breaking up to win back your ex-boyfriend

1. In the chat history, the most common sentence is: What are you doing?

Long-distance comparison What is more difficult for ordinary lovers to overcome is the feeling of powerlessness of being unable to connect to the other person. All we can do is keep talking, keep asking, and keep sharing. It takes a lot of time to explain basic things: what new store has opened here, which new drama I have recently watched, which character I like, whether I am doing laundry or already asleep at this moment. These explanations are energy-consuming.

Unless you have extraordinary will, it is easy to become slack. Over time, you will start to panic that you know too little about each other's lives, and you have to get acquainted with each other again.

2. When you are sick, no matter how much you care, you are still fragile.

A paradox of long-distance relationships is: when you need the other person the most, it happens to be when the other person is not around. Outsiders say this is a psychological suggestion, probably because they have never experienced a long-distance relationship and don’t know what to do, so they can only order medicine for him on a takeout app.

What I want to share the most. There is no way to share things with each other immediately. A boy who just moved away from his girlfriend said that the most unaccustomed thing now is that no one complains about bad movies together; a girl who has been in a 12-hour time difference relationship for three years said, When I get home at 10 o'clock in the evening, I always feel a little aggrieved and want to talk to my boyfriend; but when I think it's just 10 o'clock in the morning, I have to deal with the grievances by myself. There is too much mental support and insufficient energy in the long-distance relationship.

3. I am more afraid of no sound on the other end of the phone than a quarrel.

In a long-distance relationship quarrel, you can’t see the expressions and hear the tone clearly, and it becomes difficult to capture each other’s emotions. This leads to misunderstandings. They are multiplying like crazy, and their resentment towards each other is getting bigger and bigger. They can’t understand each other even if they argue.

But many people say that no matter how fierce the quarrel is, they will be even more panicked when there is no sound on the phone. Relying too much on verbal communication is tiring in itself. Some friends say that people who are obviously not talkative have to rely on nagging to continue. This is the most difficult thing about long-distance relationships, which requires a lot of patience and resistance. A lot of fatigue.

4. How can something as simple as a hug be so difficult?

Touch is an emotional expression that exists before language: it has texture, temperature, and is better than talking. It’s easy to use. But in a long-distance relationship, “the person who hugs you the most is the phone, not the real person.” A colleague who is experienced in long-distance relationships said that the skin-to-skin contact that she misses the most is actually lying flat on her back and resting her head on the other person’s belly. The most ordinary but most intimate moment". In biology, this state is called "skin hunger". All hunger is unbearable.

5. I didn't expect it to be so long, every time I still want to cry when we are separated.

Many people have mentioned this to me: at the beginning of the separation, the two of them cried together; later, they stopped crying in front of each other and changed to crying separately after separation. .

A boy said that every time he sent his girlfriend through the security check, he hoped that she would not look back. "One less eye contact means one less source of stimulation." A girl said, "When I send him to the airport, There were two of us, but within half an hour, he got on the plane, I returned home alone, and took the subway alone, thinking: Just now he was sitting on my right. When will we meet next time? One month? Two months?" When I think about not being able to say it, I feel sad.

6. I also want to trust 100%, but I still can't help but worry secretly. .

Long-distance love is not a reassuring love. Sometimes you don’t trust the other person and you are in disbelief: A reader told me that after three months of being away from each other, he finally installed a dating app and changed his geographical location to the other person’s location. "In the end, I couldn't tell whether I wanted to win him or not";

Sometimes I can't trust myself, and I don't know if I can stop the suitors who take advantage of me. Trust does not rely on feelings, but on information. . There is almost no solution in a long-distance watertight relationship. Therefore, effective communication in love is very important! Long-distance relationships are really not easy, and it is difficult, difficult, and difficult to be single in the name of love. Life.

If you say touching words across the screen, the other party's feelings will only reach 10%, but if you argue across the screen, the other party's feelings will reach 200%. It is true that long-distance relationships are more likely to end, but what makes you really sad is never the long-distance relationship, but the unresolved problems in getting along. The meaning of long-distance love is that when you meet someone, you can separate in order to get together. What you need most is time, honesty, firmness, security, mutual trust and love.

Those who have never been in a long-distance relationship don’t know the sadness in it. It probably means, stop crying, I can’t hold you, and when you don’t reply, I have ten thousand guesses and worries in my heart, but I can't hug you, and I'm jealous of every insignificant person around you, because they can see you every day, who makes me miss you day and night. I would also be very afraid that someone would suddenly break into our lives and take advantage of the situation. I would reject everyone's favor and just wait for an uncertain future. May all long-distance relationships survive the passage of time.