Say it happily and interestingly.

1. Summer without watermelon is not a good summer. 2. I play too much computer and want to fast-forward watching TV.

When winter came, I washed the quilt carelessly.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

5. Cover up sadness, loneliness and the first experience of love.

6. There are many beautiful women in Jiangshan, and countless mistresses have made coquetry.

7, underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but very important.

8, the current weather, tap water can directly soak instant noodles.

I don't know where you are, but I just want to see you take a bath.

10, I love you not only in words, but all my life.

1 1, National Day is only one day away, so it's time to prepare for the Spring Festival!

12, I asked the electric fan if I was ugly today, and it shook its head all afternoon!

13, joking is ok. First, don't cross the line, and second, don't poke people where it hurts.

14, the most painful thing in the world, sleeping well and being awakened by urine.

15, don't call me a light bulb in the future, call me the brightest star in the night sky.

16, you look like a joke!

17, smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart anymore!

18. For Russia, the happiest thing is to go shopping hand in hand.

19, take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, and your mood will not be short of calcium.

20. The real destiny is not the arrangement of heaven, but your initiative.

2 1. Wear the most beautiful wedding dress at the right age and marry the safest person.

22. Just one more look at you in the crowd makes you think I want to take a taxi.

23. I'm not the kind of person who hits people when they are down. I just closed the well.

I cry because you love me too much, and I laugh because you care about me too much.

25, a lot of things are between not saying injustice and saying melodramatic.

26. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

27. It's better to look at you fiercely than to look at you carefully.

28. When God gave us youth, he also gave us acne.

Look, I have my attitude. It's not your turn to call me a failure.

30, commitment, like fart, earth-shattering, and then pale and powerless.

3 1, you chased me, making me give up my motivation to get married and have an attempt to return to the secular world.

I don't believe in eternal love, because I will only love you more every day.

33. The scores of all subjects are closely related to the appearance of teachers in all subjects!

34. Fat people are all eaten in one bite. See who can reach the sky in one step.

35. I wake up every morning with a handsome hairstyle, either Saiyan or Altman.

36. Boys are strong to express themselves, while girls are strong to protect themselves.

Don't look at me innocently like a puppy, it will make me want to eat dog meat.

38. Girl, hold my hand. Tell all the sad things and come with me.

39. Actually, I am a mental derangement, and I have been lurking in the normal world for many years.

40. Those women who can't unscrew the bottle cap are faking it. Ask her to open a courier to try.

4 1, don't think that just because a girl is beautiful can seduce me, at least she is stupid enough!

Doctor, what are the symptoms of my illness? Seeing homework makes me dizzy and want to vomit.

43. Every time a new book is published, the first reaction is to turn to the last page to see if there is an answer.

In fact, your nagging is the happiest time in my life, but I just don't know it.

45. Break up. Why not add more salt, because the feelings are weak?

46. Buddha said: The sea of suffering is boundless, and turning back is the shore. I said: No border, where did you come from?

47. What gifts will you receive on National Day? I will receive a month's new traffic!

48. You pushed me to refuel, and you held me so that I could do it without hard support.

49. I like to eat when I am unhappy. When I eat, I get fat. When I get fat, I am unhappy.

50. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

5 1, want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home among piles of schoolmasters.

52. When someone asks me what happiness is, I tell them that happiness means that the person I love smiles at me.

53. The pain of life is that after experiencing a super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold.

54. I wish you a happy summer: Pepsi mirinda, very cola iced tea, Coca-Cola Wahaha.

55, such a big wind, girl, my hair is really all kinds of postures, swings, surges and waves.

56. Seeing this question, you think of someone in your heart, so congratulations, you already like her.

Every time I want to find someone to accompany me, I find that some people can't find it, some people shouldn't, and some people can't.

58. I firmly believe that you will never walk out of Yuan Ye in my heart, even if you walk through Qian Shan, day and night.

59. I miss you during the day, miss you at night, dream of you, look at you with my eyes, hold you in my hand and love you in my heart!

60. What is April Fool's Day confession? Tomb-Sweeping Day's confession is king, because if he fails, he says he is possessed by a ghost!

6 1, if you are willing to open my homework layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised to find that this page is not written and that page is not written.

62. Some songs fall in love after listening to the prelude, some people fall in love at first sight, and some homework doesn't want to be done after opening the first page.

63. People who used the phrase "Let's talk about it after the Chinese New Year" years ago changed it to "Let's talk about it after the Chinese New Year". This is just after the New Year. .

64. I think Li Shimin is stupid. He didn't send the Tang Priest to fetch the scriptures, so he ate him. We are still in the Tang Dynasty!

65. Yao Jiaxin was sentenced to death at first instance. After watching the news, the boss told us earnestly, look, this is what happens when you want a raise.

Tang Priest wishes you a happy life, Wukong wishes you good health, Friar Sand wishes you good luck, Bajie, don't you know what you want to say?

67. You don't learn so many weapons in China, but you prefer to learn swords; Go to the sword, but don't learn the sword; There are so many moves in the sword that you are drunk with learning the sword; Learn silver sword instead of iron sword.

68. I always feel that I am British when I take the Chinese exam, and I always feel that I am from China when I take the English exam. When I took the math exam, I found myself an alien.

69. I've been working outdoors recently and I've got a tan. I went to the supermarket to buy some whitening skin care products, and the salesman even praised me: Your Chinese is really good.

70. Eating handfuls of candy, leading Kojiro, carrying a big schoolbag and squeezing the car to school. Adults love fashion, children have a heavy burden, more buses and fewer short skirts!

7 1, traffic lights are installed at the intersection to command the car and the elderly. The car was running around in the street, and my aunt was trembling with fear. I advise you to be a watchman, not for your children and grandchildren.

72. M: The world is so big, why are you clinging to me? You have your life, I have my freedom, and letting go is true. Salesgirl: Why do you want to leave after taking something?

73. I long for love. A person's smile is printed in his eyes, and a tear is appreciated by two hearts. If the fate of this life is doomed, I would like to exchange a sincerity for a sincerity.

74. Love has made a thousand turns in my heart. I want to see you again. Let me know that you also feel that our love has not been in vain. Until the last day of my life, you and I still miss you deeply!

75. Today, we have experienced many twists and turns. Maybe there will be more tests waiting for us, but I only know one thing, I love you, and I just want to be with you forever!

Doctor: Why can't I find my pen? I want to write you a prescription. The patient quietly reminded: doctor, you put it under my arm!

77. Reporter: Grandpa, you are over eighty, and you still call your wife dear. How did you do that? Grandpa: Don't mention it. I have forgotten her name for a long time, and I dare not ask.

78. Loving you is a kind of happiness, thinking of you is a kind of happiness, waiting for you is a kind of test, thinking of you is a habit, hurting you is a kind of treasure, kissing you is a kind of tenderness, looking at you is a kind of enjoyment, and hugging you is a kind of romance.

79. If I can meet you if I burn incense for one year, I can know you if I burn incense for three years, and I can cherish you if I burn incense for ten years. I am willing to convert to Christianity for the happiness of my next life!

80. Last night, I dreamed that God said I could have a wish. I took out my globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I said I wanted to be beautiful. He pondered for a moment and said that I would take another look.

8 1. In English class, the teacher asked what is the word after the verb? Xiao Ming stood up excitedly and shouted: Typing, verb typing, verb typing. The endless horizon is my beloved teacher: get out!

82. Her boyfriend said to her: I dreamed of you last night, and my underwear was wet this morning. She shyly asked her boyfriend, What did you dream? Boyfriend replied: I dreamed that you took off your makeup and scared me to pee my pants!

83. While waiting for the bus at the station, I heard two old people talking. My eldest son asked me to live in Beijing, and my second son asked me to live in Hong Kong. You are so happy that your two sons are so filial. The eldest son is in Hong Kong and the second son is in Beijing.

Funny and funny. Tell me about it.

In the ice cream shop, the waiter brought a glass of lemonade and asked, what would you like to eat, sir? I took a sip of water, opened the menu, looked up and asked her: Is there a Daoxiao Noodles? First she looked surprised, and then she said rudely, this is not a Shanxi noodle restaurant! I smiled and said, sorry, I went to the wrong store. After that, I came out and didn't feel as thirsty as before.

2. Passerby: How much is a pair of shoe pads? Aunt: 5 yuan. Passerby: Let me see. Aunt: I made them all myself. Look at this stitch. Passerby: Do you want to sell it for 3 yuan? Aunt: If you don't sell it, you can't even get in at this price!

I remember that all of us were strangers to teachers when we first entered junior high school. Once in a math class, the teacher wanted a classmate to do a problem on the blackboard, but he forgot the name. It happened that the classmate was very fat. Our teacher pointed at the child and made him cry. Let's do this problem.

4. Primary school loves to sleep. Once the Chinese teacher assigned homework and wrote an essay entitled "If I were a spider". I asked my classmates after class and racked my brains at home at night to write a sensational "If I were a pig". Then I got angry at school.

In the office today, a colleague crawled on her desk with a sad face. I went up to ask what was going on. Is it uncomfortable there? My colleague sighed and said, my sister is going to have a baby soon. Me: What are you sad about your sister having a baby? Colleague A: After her child was born, I became a veritable aunt! ! !

6. Today, I saw a classmate watching the sky with a mobile phone on the balcony. What did I show him? He said he was waiting for the plane. I said you can't get on the plane. He said: When the plane flies over my head, I can chat with the flight attendant WeChat. I just want to outline the past in my mind. Besides, this!

7. My friend sent me by electric car and asked me to shoot the P shares of the sister paper in front. After filming, we accelerated our escape. Later, I filmed it, but my friend stopped and said to me, what are you doing? The world is quiet.

Thirty years later, Jimmy Lin got on the bus and swiped his old-age card, but the driver knocked him down. Tears streaming down his face, someone patted him on the shoulder: use my old card. He looked up and almost lost his voice: Degang! The other person put his index finger to his mouth: shh, I'm his son.

9. When I was in college, I went to an Internet cafe for a night. /kloc-around 0/2, school leaders came to check the night. Everyone in the internet cafe ran out and was arrested by the leaders. Only one partner escaped. I will tell you that when the school leader entered the Internet cafe, he silently walked to the corner and swept the floor there with a broom.

10, several bottles were lost in the mailbox. Content: I'm Xiao Gan, minister, and I'm an aunt. I think it's good. Received a reply from a great god: Bajie, I am an expert.

1 1. She is wearing a rockhopper, as beautiful as a flower. She plays the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and she is absolutely charming. She is smart and beautiful. She is very beautiful, and her admirer has become a forest. She is beautiful in Leng Yan and is in a dilemma. She is a big talker, and she is in the limelight. She tolerated those who had wronged her, and she tried to convince the world that it was unfair. She woke up and remembered that the bowl hadn't been washed last night, so she dared to run to the kitchen.

A student came to school yesterday without washing his face, so I sent him home. Good idea, he must have come to school clean today! No, the whole class won't wash their faces today.

13, two days ago, a friend took Xiong Haizi, who was in elementary school, to my house, turned it upside down and tore down my treasure of Transformers everywhere. So before I left, I gave his parents a set of primary school Olympic math exercises that I had treasured for many years.

14, I took my husband and daughter shopping today, and my daughter walked in the middle. Suddenly holding our hands, I sang a chicken in my left hand and a duck in my right hand. Before I knew it, my husband said that there was a toad in the middle and he was still coaxing his daughter.

15, going out for a walk is always very tangled. Look up and leave, afraid of not getting the money; Let's go with our heads down, for fear of not seeing beautiful women. Then nodded and left.

16, our class climbed a mountain in the suburbs in the morning. As we approached the top of the mountain, the class teacher asked: Which classmate runs fastest? Me. The particularly naughty roommate replied. The head teacher said: Good, the camera is still in the car. Go down and get it.

17, a friend sells prepaid cards online. He always waits for the trading platform to show that the buyer has paid, and then recharges the other party's phone. On this day, he told me that he was cheated. I think, after all the money has been paid, will he still be cheated? He said: that person's screen name is that the buyer has paid, so I didn't read it carefully and charged it.

18, an old man said to his friend: I am so lonely! In this world, I have no other relatives except a puppy. The friend said sympathetically, then you can have another puppy!

19, a friend and her sister were eating in a restaurant and got oil on their hands. They wanted to take out paper to wipe, but they took out a pack of sanitary napkins. Who knows she tore it open without noticing anything wrong. Her friend got up and rushed across the street to grab it, for fear of being seen. As a result, this girl didn't realize the situation, and when she came to grab it, she shouted ~ suddenly attracted the attention of the whole restaurant! Immediately, two male waiters rushed over: Miss, you can't change it here, you can't change it!

20. Uncle, Saturday is my birthday. My mother promised to hold a birthday party for me. Can you come? I will definitely come. Just ring the doorbell with your head and I'll open the door for you right away. Why can't I ring the bell by hand? I'm afraid you brought too many gifts.

2 1, the wife suddenly asked her husband: Do you love me? Love, of course! The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought about it and asked, are you afraid of hurting me? The husband quickly said, no, no, I said I was afraid you would hurt me.

22. Xiaoming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mother asked: Is the nun teaching well? Is it a good textbook? Is it prayer? Neither, Xiao Ming said. On the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the plus sign, and I knew they were serious.

23. Go to a friend's house to play. It happens that my friend's wife is breastfeeding. It happened that the child refused to breast-feed, so I joked with the child: Eat quickly, or my uncle will eat. 55555 dare not see them ~! .

24. At school, the school was a bungalow. When school started in September, many new students came. One day, a freshman seemed to be the class representative of a pile of homework and asked me, where is the math office? Next to the men's room. The math office is really next to the men's room, but on the left. The man went to the right side of the men's room and shouted at the door. There was a pause, and a voice came from inside. No entry ~!

25. I got drunk one day and peed. Open the zipper in front of the urinal, hold down JJ, and then solve it smoothly. However. . I feel my crotch getting wetter and wetter. . . When I opened my eyes and looked down carefully, I found that I had just held each other's thumb. . . . . Silent ~

26. I remember going to college at that time and living separately from my boyfriend. I usually keep in touch with my mobile phone every day. One day, I called his cell phone and stopped. I happened to go downstairs to the grocery store and charged him 20 yuan. Unexpectedly, just back to the dormitory, my boyfriend's phone came. He said: haha, I didn't expect there to be such an XB person in the world, and even the phone bill was charged to his mobile phone ... I immediately hung three black lines on my head ~!

27. I got drunk and came home dizzy, and I vomited soon after I got home. The next morning, my wife said: if you eat out, just eat and drink, so don't go home and report what you ate ~!

28. In Grade Three, our history teacher is called Wen Jian. There was an emperor Wen Jian in the Ming Dynasty. One day in ancient history, a history teacher came into the classroom and said, "Long live my emperor! Long live my emperor! " (planned in advance, of course). Tough is the history teacher's calm answer: everyone loves Qing ~ stand up. Orz~？ Hey? ~ the whole class is still standing at this time ~!

29. In the first aid class in the university, the professor gave a demonstration while talking: Professor: Press the chest with both hands, not too hard, just press 2~3cm, it is easy to break the patient's ribs! Professor: Let's look at the demonstration (press your hand hard). Click! The model's ribs are broken. Sorry to say, class is over ~

30. Go to your boyfriend's house for the night, take a shower and use it whenever you see a bar of soap. I feel very strange when I use it. After washing, my boyfriend kissed me. When I smelled something wrong, I asked you if you didn't bathe Frye with soap. ..

3 1, my wife looked at the photo of my little nephew not long after he was born and smiled to reveal his penis. As a result, my little nephew coldly threw him the word rogue ~!

32. When I was a child, I played with the elder sister next door (I was five years old and she was seventeen). She asked me to lick her place for ten minutes and then gave me a paper star. Don't tell anyone, or I won't fold it in the future. Now I often look at a jar of paper and stars on the bookcase and stare at my wife next door ~!

33. My wife ML and I were lying on the table last night. She's among them. I saw my wife touch the table twice and even picked up a walnut and began to chew it. I broke down and said, wife, we only do it once a week. Can you be professional ~!

34. I suddenly received a phone call that day: Guess who I am? Guess there's a gift! I guessed all possible people, and they were wrong. Then I got angry and asked you who the hell is TM? Don't say I hung up! As a result, the man said, I am a courier. You had a bag and I vomited blood at that time ~! ..

Funny non-mainstream happy theory

1, life has never died since ancient times, and mid-term exams are afraid of hammers.

2, humble surface, cover up the inner metamorphosis.

3. My fair lady walked in front, her long hair was so gentle, and she suddenly turned around ~ Wow! How ugly!

4. It is not a good employee who doesn't want a raise, nor is it a good employee who always wants a raise.

5. Looking back suddenly, you haven't left.

6. Friend, please make me happy if you are unhappy.

7. If you make chopsticks in your next life, you won't be lonely.

8, so shameless, so heartless, your weight should be very light?

9. I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.

10, yes, how famous you are. You've made so many movies, and now they're not allowed to broadcast them.

1 1. If a man is reliable, I will fucking kneel down and sing conquest.

12, when people started to look at money, I had already looked at it.

13, a flower that giggles at the sun: sunflower.

14, when two people meet, what follows is either a story or an accident.

15, you waste air alive, land dead, and RMB half dead.

16, you scold, you continue to scold, and tell me when you've scolded enough. I'll go to bed first.

17, small ideal: a house facing the sea, with spring flowers and 4M broadband, which can be ordered for take-out, delivered by express delivery and no mortgage.

18, if only the apple tree could make an iphone.

Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

20, these days, no matter Sohu or sogou, cats can't understand.

2 1, a buddy told me that he gives out bottles every day. It's all "one more bottle"

22. Here we are. It may not be Altman, but the Monkey King.

Asking you to hand in your homework is like pinching your meat.

24. What are you doing with the boy and the girl behind you?

25. We in China spit and drowned the Japanese.

26, baby, I won't get you, forget it, get you and let you call mom.

27. An eighteen-year-old lady has one flower, two flowers or three flowers.

28. Who says women love money? Women love not money, but Grandpa Mao.

29, don't give me the glad eye, your strength is not enough.

Happy and funny personality space

1. Only by complicating things can we show our working ability!

2. Either endure or be cruel. I won't hit you, you don't know that I am both civil and military.

I have been trying to comfort myself since I finished the math exam. Pretty girls who are good-looking and have nothing to do generally have no brains.

4. Direction is more important than effort; Ability is more important than knowledge; Health is more important than achievement; Life is more important than diploma; EQ is more important than IQ!

I planted a boyfriend in the field in spring, but I forgot this crop in autumn.

6. I always bow my head in class, and the teacher asks me why. I calmly replied: I sank again, and I suddenly remembered my home.

7. Why don't you buy me a cigarette and go to a nightclub?

8. Tell lies with your real name in practice, and tell the truth with a pseudonym in your collection.

9. When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. The mirror is even when you are old.

10. Shopping for fruit in the supermarket, a girl picked longan with a bag and sang: Just because she gave you one more look in the crowd, she will never forget your longan.

1 1. The world is not without moral integrity, but on the ground.

12.6 1, we can't afford it because time is running out.

13. The reason why feelings are bleak is that one party is begging at ordinary times, but the other party is unwilling to give alms. . . -

14. Do you miss me when I miss you?

15. A good woman is like gasoline. Once she has it, she has power; A bad woman is like an airbag. Once she uses it, she has a crisis.

16. Distance does not produce beauty, but a third party.

17. The biggest pain in life is that I experienced a super storm, not only didn't see the rainbow, but also caught a cold.

18. Brothers are people who shed tears and bleed together. Who moved my brother? I made him disappear.

19. If you are well, it will be sunny. But it has been raining heavily for a week. You won't die.

20. It's good to know what you are.

2 1. Shout when the road is rough, and make a fool of yourself when the time comes.

22. I like to read Sanmao's wandering story.

23. I am the gum in your hair. You want to get rid of me unless you cut your hair.

24. It is better to have no hope at the beginning than to be disappointed later.

25. My personality depends on who I am and my attitude depends on who you are.

26. I don't like your redundant expressions, such as sympathy and pity. Anyway, it's not the love I want to see.

27. Nonsense, thinking that people give you a smiling face is appreciation, and they talk endlessly. As a result, people thoroughly understand their family background and secretly laugh at you.

28. Why do you want to be a woman? You like that rotten man, let yourself live a wonderful life, and let those men regret not choosing you.

29. Whether the thin man says he is fat or embarrassed, the fat man will feel that the thin man is showing off.

Pretending to be mature is the act of dressing up in the old room.

3 1. Teacher, can we change the teaching method? For example ... dreams.

32. It is said that those who study accounting and medicine are a perfect match. One seeks money and the other kills.

33. It is said that a woman without talent is virtue, and I think I should be respected.

34. invigilator+geographical location+friendliness of nearby comrades = test score! ! ! !

35. When an emperor dies, he dies; when a civilian dies, he dies; when a mistress dies, he dies.

In the last few days of winter vacation, almost all the houses are brightly lit.

37. I only know that I am strong and I don't know that I am a girl. I need love too.

38. They say that we will die twice, once and once forgotten.

39. After ten years of hard work, I was admitted to Beida Jade Bird only for Tsinghua.

40. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die.

4 1. The best poet in China is in a mental hospital.

42. It's not that I don't laugh, but it makes me laugh-_-!

43. Wear other people's shoes and go your own way. Let others find shoes.

44. Don't take my patience as your gambling book!