Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - I am a female robber. I kidnapped a handsome scholar.

I am a female robber. I kidnapped a handsome scholar.

I am a female robber, my father is also a robber, and my grandfather is also a robber.

After all, I could not escape the fate of being a robber.

Actually, I think it’s good to be a bandit in Gushan Village. After several generations of management, Gushan Village is no different from the villages down the mountain.

I often patrol the camp in the village with a house-killing sword that is as tall as me. No, I discovered some terrible things in the camp.

My uncle Chang San went to the village to kidnap innocent women again, hoping to force the innocent women to become the wife of the village.

I looked at Chang San, who was all dressed in tendons and with a beard, and then at the little girl he tied there to get married in the evening. She was pretty and pretty, with the air of a good girl from a good family between the corners of her eyes and eyebrows. .

When she saw me, she just kept crying and shaking her head. I kicked over a few young people who were drinking and having fun, and used a big knife to pick out the rope that tied the girl.

Mr. Chang couldn't help but feel a little irritable when he saw me acting like this: "Ajing, uncle is still waiting for my mother-in-law to have a baby? What are you going to do?"

I glanced at Chang. The third master sarcastically said: "When grandpa was here, he gave orders repeatedly that Gushan Village would rob the rich and give to the poor. Do not do evil, let alone rape and plunder." He didn't take me as the leader of the village seriously, so he raised his neck and started shouting

"Ajing, there is no boy in Gushan Village till now, and you are a woman, so I'm afraid I won't be able to convince the public."

I glanced at my knife, and with a flash of white light, my uncle's bun was chopped off.

"Uncle, there is no throne in our family waiting to be snatched? Do you still want to let the robbers live forever? Sooner or later, you will end up on the guillotine."

After I finished speaking, I Without even looking at him, he helped the girl on the side tidy up his clothes, and kicked Mr. Chang who was still in a daze. This time, my fierce uncle ran away very quickly.

I blindfolded the girl and sent her out. This matter was resolved in this way.

2

I held a dog's tail grass in my mouth and waited very carefully for the rabbit to approach the trap on its own, so that I could fight the rabbit.

But all this was broken by a voice.

"Sister Ajing, a big fat sheep came down the mountain, shall we go up?" Yuanbao ghost roared, for fear that I wouldn't hear it.

Looking at Yuanbao's anxious expression, I knew that I would not be able to finish my tooth sacrifice.

"You and I will go down the mountain to visit the spot, and also ask Miss Peony about it."

Yuanbao said solemnly: "Okay, boss."

I threw away the dogtail grass I was holding, looked at my village, and decided to do this. I picked up the bright sword and told Yuan Bao to go down the mountain in disguise tomorrow, first explore the truth, and then kill the dog officer.

As a bandit, what can I do without all kinds of disguise gadgets? After dressing up a little and getting a false guide, I discussed with the large army. I will be the vanguard and they will follow the signals. .

After arranging everything, we will take the first step towards the secret passage.

Dog officials are dog officials. Today they are going to have a banquet for distinguished guests from the capital. Yuan Bao said with infinite resentment that they actually want Miss Peony from Mingyue Tower to accompany them.

I touched Yuanbao's head and asked him to calm down, while I wore the slightly awkward clothes and went to Mingyue Tower.

Seeing my outfit, Mudan immediately understood what I meant. She pressed me on the dressing table and said softly, "Ajing, you are not dressed like this."

"Today the Dog Official is hosting a banquet, and the big shots are here. I will take you to see what they are here for. If it is to suppress bandits, you must retreat quickly."

Girl Peony She is a good person, they said, she treated me as her own just to repay my mother's kindness.

The ladies in Mingyue Tower are all good at makeup, and Peony is even better at it. With her tinkering like this, I look like me in the mirror, with bright eyes and white teeth, distant mountains like black daisy, and a pair of almond-shaped eyes that can make people feel disappointed. Lost the soul.

My mother has been missing since I was born, and my father is an infatuated man. No one except Peony gives me any warmth.

A year ago, my father died in the hands of the old master of Qijiapu. Two robbers who had been sworn enemies for their whole lives hacked each other to death in order to compete for territory.

The rules of the rivers and lakes, debts will disappear after death.

I became the head of Gushan Village, and Qi Shan, a little brat, became the helmsman of Qijiapu. Qishan cut off the water source of Gushan village last month. For this reason, I also want to use the robbery of silver to establish my authority.

I discussed it with Mudan and made the concubine pretending to be the prefect by twisting her waist.

3

Today I sneaked into the mansion to find a secret passage. As robbers, we are naturally sensitive to places where we hide things. After groping along the way, before he saw the silver notes and treasure, he discovered a greasy secret passage in the dog officer's kitchen.

Darling, you are really good at hiding. Who can set up a secret tunnel on a swill bucket?

After walking around the swill bucket, there was a water prison inside. I dived in and what I saw was breathtaking. A prefect set up a private water prison. What did he want to do?

What’s more important is that there is a male mermaid in the water prison. He was dressed in white, his hands were tied with chains, and there were streaks of blood on his body.

I haven’t read much, but a sentence suddenly popped into my head.

There is a wisp of dust in the river and sky, and there is a solitary moon in the bright sky.

The bright moon sets over Wuqu, take action when it’s time to take action. I neatly pulled out the house-killing sword from behind, and chopped off the large gate and chain of the water prison with a crackle.

I carried Jiaojiao'er Mermaid on my back and ransacked the dog officer's bedroom. I walked away silently after taking away a bunch of messy things.

The jewelry didn’t arrive, and there was an extra person, so it seemed a bit of a loss. Anyway, he was unconscious, so I’ll carry him into the village. The Yuanbao behind me chirped, saying that I was interested in him, nagging him. Nagging is such a housekeeper.

I was guarding a sickly beauty. He seemed surprised when he saw me dressed like this. He introduced himself and said that he was a professor at Shanxia Academy whose surname was Xiao Mingding.

The prefect became interested in him because of his sexual behavior, and was afraid that his special hobby would be reviled by the world, so he was imprisoned in the water prison. I looked at the injuries on his body, and he whispered to me with red ears that they were The quirks of the prefect.

As soon as he explained it, I had a better understanding of the scholar's beauty. Beauty is popular everywhere.

Thinking about it, I feel embarrassed. Like the dog official, I got interested in taking advantage of Xiao Ding’s beauty and wanted to take it for myself.

On the second day, I released flying pigeons and peonies, and Miss Peony’s reply was particularly positive. Sure enough, there was a teacher at the foot of the mountain who had offended the prefect.

After inquiring clearly and confirming Xiao’s identity, my girlish heart couldn’t stop jumping around. I am a robber, not as reserved as those rich ladies down the mountain. My father once said After all, it’s time to enjoy yourself. If a robber doesn’t live a happy life, then why is he a robber?

Xiao Ding was recuperating in the village, and I was particularly active in taking care of him, preparing medicine, picking flowers, and sending candied fruits. I also told him stories to relieve his boredom.

Xiao Ding is a good man. He doesn’t mind that the medicine I boiled was mushy, and he doesn’t mind that I picked the reed flowers and made him sneeze for several days. He was very gentle and said every time: "Miss Jing doesn't have to do this, you are already very good. If you find it boring, tell me the story of Gushan Village in the past."

If Xiao Ding wants me I would definitely interrupt him when he talked about the fortifications in the stockade, but if he wanted to hear those corny anecdotes, I would not refuse.

I happily told the story of Reed Marsh and my grandfather. My grandfather was the first generation of bandits to occupy Gushan. Reed Marsh was my grandfather’s first stronghold. From there, he He built a stockade and became its leader.

When I was very young, my grandfather always told me with a smile that he was too lazy to get involved in other people’s family affairs, otherwise he could earn me the reputation of a wealthy lady.

After Xiao Ding listened to what I said silently, I felt that I was a little noisy. He didn’t say anything, but just handed over a green pear. I took it, but I didn't want to bite it. I secretly put the pear into my arms.

I was a nymphomaniac with pears, and Yuanbao came into my door. I asked Yuanbao if there should be more husbands in the village.

Looking at Yuan Bao’s expression of seeing a ghost, I silently put away my daughterly attitude.

Yuan Bao anxiously gestured to me with a pale face: "Sister Jing, Miss Peony sent news that something big happened at the foot of the mountain, and something seems to have been lost."

As a person The robber's anti-reconnaissance consciousness immediately awakened, and I realized that maybe my rescue of Xiao Ding had been discovered, or maybe I had taken something terrible from the prefect's house.

I went to find Xiao Ding first, thinking that he was a tutor after all, and what happened at the foot of the mountain might have something to do with him. I ran like a gust of wind, and happened to bump into Xiao Ding who was coming to find me. Determined, he helped me up and said helplessly, Miss Qing, there are rules.

I think he really thought I had no rules, but where do robbers come from rules? I told Xiao Ding what was going on outside, and he looked a little pale, and asked me if he could take a look. Something I picked up from the prefect.

I took him to see what he had brought back, including a few silver ingots and a few letters. I can understand the matter of letters, but the prefect is stingy. What are you doing hiding a few silver ingots?

Xiao Dingzi looked at the silver ingots carefully, Miss Jing, what do you think is weird about these silver ingots? I looked carefully and saw that such a large silver ingot did not have any official mark. It was someone mining silver privately.

Xiao Ding's eyes were shining. It was best not to get involved with the thief and the official. I didn't want to care about it, but Xiao Ding told me his belief.

The dog officer actually colluded with the second prince, saying that his spies had discovered the private mine, and asked for the clearance of our Eighteen Green Forest Villages. This was simply unbearable. I held the knife and wanted to rush out. Yes Xiao Ding said that he would take a long-term view, and I calmed down.

4

Xiao Ding, who is the second prince? For things that are too far away, I can only ask Xiao Ding. Since he is teaching Yu, he probably knows more about officialdom than I do.

Xiao Ding was facing the wind, like a feathered immortal. I murmured to myself, Xiao Ding, I feel that you are so far away from me.

Xiao Ding didn't seem to hear, and talked about the second prince lightly. The current surname of the country is Chu. The second prince Chu Yu is the son of Concubine Ning.

I touched the tile kiln in the village and blurted out, he is a wise king, what about the prince? We can solve the problem by looking for the prince.

Xiao Ding curled his lips. The prince went to investigate corruption in Jiangnan. On the way back, the ship sank.

I lamented: "My grandfather has said before that it is difficult to deal with the affairs of a wealthy family, let alone the royal family, with thousands of miles of land, who can not be moved."

Xiao Ding looked at me He looked like a brat, so he asked me a little awkwardly, how should I go in the future for this isolated village?

What he said made me really sad. I asked him, tell me, my grandfather is a robber, my father is a robber, and I am also a robber. I will probably give birth to a robber cub in the future and continue to support Gushan Village.

With what I said, my grandfather and father probably made Xiao Ding faint, and he walked away.

The matter of the silver ingot can be put aside. The news that the government wants to suppress the bandits has become the top priority in Gushan Village. This matter is not a matter that belongs to Gushanzhai alone, so I wrote to these big guys on the road to make a big plan.

In the past few days, I have asked the guards to strengthen the security. I cannot let them come to the meeting and steal the retreat of my Gushan Village.

In the Juyi Hall, the bosses were acting wildly and showed no sign of discussing. I had known that their old habit of looking down on women was back again.

They are bullying me, a little girl, to become a big boss, and they all want to divide Gushan Village. I know that if I don’t convince them today, I’m afraid it will be difficult for Gushan Village to gain a foothold.

The Yuanbao behind me winked at me, and the town-house sword was as fast as lightning. With a flash of cold light, it hit the long table in the Juyi Hall with a loud bang.

The red cloak rustled along with the wind of the knife. I looked at these bastards with disdain. The enemy is in front of us, but they are still here imitating pig braying. If I don’t beat you, who will I beat?

"I think you bosses are too busy. Let's compete in the martial arts field."

I, a woman, made a declaration of war. How could they not respond? Follow me into the martial arts arena.

The sword is an important weapon, but for me, it is the foundation of my life. I have been working hard for more than ten years in the cold and heat, just for this day.

Apart from the bold moves, there are also ferocious faces. I know that I must win today. I am fighting for my life with them, because behind my sword, there are countless old, weak, women and children in Gushan Village. All behind my back.

A few people were defeated and retreated. They were finally willing to listen to my words. Everyone decided to avoid the secret passage first and escape the encirclement. They are also willing to help with the silver ingot matter. It would be best if His Royal Highness is still alive and the silver case is solved, so that our team can be recruited.

5

Xiao Ding did not mention leaving for a long time, and I was happy to do so. I stayed in the Wayao to rest for a while, and our teacher, Mr. Yu, took various injured Medicine, found it.

"Xiao Shudai, what are you doing?"

I asked knowingly.

This guy Xiao Ding took my right hand and carefully applied the medicine to me. An ordinary person in red clothes would not be able to tell that my hand was injured by the Zhenzhai machete. Xiao Ding happened to notice it.

"Miss Jing, don't you love being a free robber? Why did you just ask for help?"

Faced with Xiao Ding’s doubts, I mustered up the courage to look at Xiao Ding and said, “Since my grandfather’s generation, Gushan Village has always protected women and children, and my grandfather was not allowed to kill people.

There is no fertile farmland in Gushan Village, and the only water source is through the Qijia. Otherwise, my father would not have fought with the Qijia for water. The only thing I can do is to give these people a chance to be good citizens. "

Xiao Ding was a little surprised when I said this, but he soon felt relieved. Seeing his changing expression, I deliberately teased him: "I won't be a robber anymore. Please take me to be a tutor." "My young lady, how about we have a few more babies?"

Xiao Ding bowed to me and said, "Miss Qing is very kind, but my parents have decided to marry me."

I am a robber. He was actually forced to tears by a light word. My broadsword was in front of Xiao Ding: "What about you? Can you be happy with me for a moment?"

Xiao Ding was a little embarrassed by me, and he said, Qing Niang, you are free Why should the eagle yearn for a beautiful cage?

I put away my sword and left in anger, leaving Xiao Ding alone.

On the third day of my quarrel with Xiao Ding, there was a great disaster in Gushan Village. The prefect took the hand sign of the second prince and wanted to surround Gushan. The fat prefect said, "There are chickens all over Gushan." The dog does not stay.

I thought I couldn’t control that much anymore. I killed one after another with a big knife. At this time, I was really a murderous devil. It's just that I can't figure it out. Who knows the road map of Gushanzhai?

What flashed through my mind was Xiao Ding’s face. It was such a coincidence. Red smoke was floating in the sky in Gushan Village. No matter who he was, I couldn’t do it for the people in the village behind him. retreat.

Covered in blood, with a silver knife and red clothes, I saw the prefect kneeling down. Outside the lonely mountain, everyone was kneeling in the dark water. As far as I could see, it was Xiao Ding.

He is no longer dressed in white, with golden claws and dragon patterns, and a golden crown on his head. He looks like a majestic son of the heavenly family. I heard them say that His Royal Highness is a thousand years old.

My knife is faster than my brain, can the prince bully others? He led his men up the mountain, hoping to destroy my Gushan Village. How good! I, a robber, actually worked for the noble prince.

The big knife was placed on his body, and my hands were shaking.

I had a cold look on my face. You went up the mountain for an ulterior purpose, right?

It was you who betrayed Gushanzhai, right?

The country’s surname is Chu. You said your name is Xiao Ding. Your Highness, it’s fun to lie to others, right? You're very proud of playing with the little girl's affection, aren't you?

I asked a series of questions, but he did not explain. However, his entourage kidnapped two people. One was my uncle Chang Sanye, and the other was the girl I left the mountain with that day.

It was too late to ask. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the prefect charging towards us with rocks. He shouted: "As long as His Royal Highness the Crown Prince dies at the hands of Gushan Village, the silver mine will belong to the Second Prince." Well, the crime of killing the prince is Gushanzhai, wouldn't it be nice to have the best of both worlds?"

This old and cunning thing said that the target was the prince, but it was me who was stoned. Xiao Ding's figure was very fast. As a robber, behind me are countless people from Gushan Village. As long as I stand, Gushan will not fall. Unexpectedly, the first person to protect me behind me is His Highness the Crown Prince. I am a female robber. How can one be so virtuous?

Fortunately, the person His Highness the Crown Prince brought was not a pustule, and he took down the fat old magistrate in just a few strokes. His Royal Highness the Crown Prince was filled with dragon energy, and he only injured his arm.

When I realized that my uncle and the girl I let go, one was a spy from the prefect who cheated on me, and the other was a female spy sent by the second prince to use a beauty trap against my uncle.

His Royal Highness the Crown Prince, the Second Prince, and the Magistrate, what exactly is hidden in our lonely village is worthy of the perseverance of every big shot.

"Your Highness, what do you mean by coming to Gushan Village? I asked politely but also distantly.

"Please give everyone in Gushan Village a way to live. All the things in Gushan Village, What do you want, I will give you? Do you think so? "

I held back my anger and could only speak humbly like this bastard.

"Then I want to be the Lord of Gushan, can Jingniang agree with me? "The prince actually teased me. It's totally unreasonable. My sword can't even suppress it."

"Ms. Jing, please think carefully. Are you willing to kill your husband?" ".

Without thinking, I hit him on the injured arm. Regardless of his identity, I shouted angrily: "Whose husband are you? Who are you? Should I call you His Royal Highness the Prince or Xiao Ding? ".

His Royal Highness, this gangster, actually hooked my hand and wrote the word "Li" on my palm.

"I am Chu Li, and it is true that I am the prince, but I also admire Qing Niang. "Chu Li's confession made me a little awkward.

"But you used me to enter Gushan? "I asked out of breath.

"Isn't it that the leader of the village wants a beautiful husband?" He pinched my cheek.

"But, but, you have a fiancée. And I am a robber. I have never heard of a story where the princess is a female robber? "

"What Qing Niang said is very reasonable, so I will take you somewhere! ".

Before I could recover, I was pulled away by him, "Wait a minute, your fiancée hasn't made it clear yet? "I pushed him hard.

We soon came to the reed marsh. I thought he wanted to rekindle our old friendship with me, but he opened the mechanism in the reed marsh very skillfully. I thought I was far away from the truth. Very close.

We entered the dungeon in the reed swamp. Grandpa said that unless life and death are at stake, we must never step into the dungeon. We are just gatekeepers. The rest is up to chance. Just guard the lonely mountain. That's enough.

Have you seen the Yinshan? If there is a silvery light like nothing, there are a few bad words on the Yinshan.

My fate, you bastards of the Chu family. Forget it, I have nothing to do with my granddaughter A Jing. Just give him a daughter-in-law. It’s better to find a grandson-in-law for me.

I was shocked by my grandfather’s toughness. What is the operation?

After Chu Li’s explanation, I learned that my grandfather was the first generation of Wu Mian who changed his name and wandered around the mountains and rivers for the sake of gold and silver in this world.

It’s a pity that Chu Li’s father’s generation fought so fiercely for the right to inherit the throne. My grandfather saw something was wrong and was afraid that he would become a victim.

They can only occupy Gushan, and guard this land until sooner or later the Chu family, who is of direct bloodline, will come.

Now, I understand everything. Chu Li chuckled when he looked at what his grandfather had written.

"Why are you laughing? Your fiancée..." Before I could finish speaking, Chu Li's warm kiss had already fallen.

After sealing our love with a kiss, Chu Li smiled jokingly, held my hair, and confessed seriously: "I am devoted to you. Naturally, I have broken off the kiss so that I can stand by your side openly and honestly. Besides, if I give myself to you, I think grandpa will be happy.”

Qing Niang, are you willing to wear a red dress for me and become a crown princess who can make a fortune.

Fool, of course I am willing. I looked at Chu Li with a smile, brat, I have been jealous of you for a long time.

(End)