The lines of Zhao Bensan and Song Dandan's sketch Xiao Cui Shi Shuo.

[Baiyun] Don't eat. You said you ate three boxes in such a short time, and you made the auditorium smell of leeks everywhere. I don't like going out with you, you said, your grades are too low.

Alas! Remember, you should talk less when recording programs in the future, do you hear me? Don't tell the truth like Tieling platform. That's a real pity. Watch me deal with him, okay? Don't say anything, okay? Good boy, ah.

Alas! Why don't you think this trav has come yet? It's so rude to treat people like wrists! Tieling station will wait for us for a few hours. You said this on CCTV. ...

[Cui] Ouch! Sorry everyone, sorry I'm late, sorry. You know, I didn't sleep well last night. Ouch! Uncle and aunt are here!

[Baiyun] is coming.

[Xiao Cui] Hello, auntie.

[Baiyun] Ah, hello.

[Cui] Hello, uncle. ...

[Baiyun] Oh, you have to start quickly. Ah, there are two more columns below us. Ah, both. Come out. This Beijing TV station and Tianjin TV station have to give some face. Say your opening remarks quickly. Let's get started, ah.

You know me better. Dear friends, welcome to "Xiao Cui tells stories" ...

[Black soil] Hiccup!

[Cui] Six years ago, I interviewed an old couple from the Northeast, so ...

[Black soil] Hiccup!

[Xiao Cui] Six years have passed, what changes have they made? today ...

[Black soil] Hiccup!

[Cui] I ... I'm today.

[Black Soil] Okay.

[Baiyun] It's choking. Go on with your story.

[Cui] Hey, I don't even know what to say. I don't even know.

[Baiyun] You said that you were fooled by the host, and your adaptability was so poor that you were cheated after a few hiccups. Guess what? Sit down and I'll interview you first.

All right.

[Baiyun] What's the matter, Cui? I haven't seen you for six years. I heard you were depressed?

[Xiao Cui] This matter has reached Tieling?

[Baiyun] Are you better?

[Cui] Much better!

[Baiyun] Don't pretend. What are you and your aunt and uncle pretending to do? It's all written on your face.

[Black Soil] Yes, your face used to be in distress situation, but now it looks like an emergency gathering.

[Xiao Cui] People in Tieling are so boastful.

[Baiyun] (to black soil) Take a present. (To Xiao Cui) It's a holiday today. I'll bring you a souvenir. (Heitu takes out his lunch box and hands it to Baiyun) You said in junior year ... (Found it wrong, to Heitu) What the hell is this? Really, you ... (black soil puts away the lunch box and takes out the book) is quite memorable.

Oh, auntie, this book Confucius has been published.

[Baiyun] Look at the title page.

[Cui] Hey.

[Baiyun] Title page.

[Xiao Cui] "I want to give this book to Xiao Cui, please. I hope you won't wake up after reading this book. Aunt Baiyun Yazheng. " thank you

[Baiyun] What else! What else! You take ... you pay. (Black Soil takes out handkerchief)

Ouch, uncle! Isn't this the handkerchief that those two people turned over?

[black soil] gatekeeper face.

oh "Turn a turn, shake, exercise must fall asleep every day. Black soil is right. " Thank you, uncle and aunt. You brought me a present. Thank you.

[Black Soil] I haven't seen you for years. Your aunt said to bring something for the children ... (Looking at the white clouds, go back to your seat)

[Baiyun] Oh, we were just worried that you didn't sleep here.

[Xiao Cui] Oh, my uncle and aunt are still concerned about my sleep. How about your parents' sleep quality?

[Black soil] I feel sleepy when I touch the pillow.

[Baiyun] Heartless people have high sleep quality.

[Xiao Cui] Yes, a narrow-minded person like me can't sleep.

[Baiyun] didn't say you.

[Cui] Ah, uncle, have you enjoyed these six years?

[Black Soil] Happy! I sing a duet with a dozen old ladies every day ... (White clouds stare at black soil)

[Baiyun] He engages in his folk art and I engage in my publications. We care about each other in life and help each other in career. How can I describe it to you? ...

[Black Soil] I can make do with it, but how can I leave?

[Xiao Cui] Actually, I heard that there are some emotional problems between uncles and aunts.

[Baiyun] Gossip, absolute gossip. A leader without news is not a leader, and a celebrity without gossip is not a celebrity. It is difficult to be a man, but it is difficult to be a woman. ...

[Black Soil] is ... it's hard to be a famous old woman.

[Cui] (to the audience) Everyone saw it. This uncle is full of truth. It's a good thing I have a plan. (to white clouds and black soil) Hey, uncle and aunt, let's change the way. My aunt put on this earphone when I asked my uncle, and my uncle also put on this earphone when I asked my aunt. OK or not? Listen to music and relax.

[Baiyun] Lock him up.

Come on, put it on.

[Black soil] (put on) Oops (take off), it's too loud!

[Baiyun] Why did you say so much when I told you to button up? Hey, hey, go ahead, Cui.

[Cui] Hey, Auntie, why did you come to Beijing this time?

[Baiyun] We ... came by special plane.

[Cui] It's too expensive for us to buy.

[Baiyun] Don't report it, it's all small money. Now, you have money. Look at this dress. It's rich. Hey, it's so rich ...

[Cui] You are a mink!

[Baiyun] Wrong! Mink cashmere

[Xiao Cui] Is it particularly expensive?

[Baiyun] Not expensive, 40,000.

[Cui] 40 thousand is not expensive? Aunt is really willing to spend money on herself!

[Baiyun] Woman, be hard on yourself.

[Cui] Can I ask my uncle again?

[Baiyun] OK.

[Cui] Listen to music.

(Baiyun takes off black earth headphones and puts them on)

[Baiyun] Let me ask you, it's your turn.

[Black Soil] This sound is quite loud.

Uncle Cui, I heard that you came to Beijing by special plane this time?

[Black soil] Ah, it's a brick tractor.

How cold it is.

[Black Soil] She wears a lot. It's all against the wind. Look at her clothes.

[Xiao Cui] Auntie, is this dress quite expensive?

[Black soil] Old and expensive! I rented it for forty-one days.

Rent it? How about it (to the audience)? Did it work? Still have to ask. (to black soil) Ah, I'll ask my aunt again. Listen to music.

[Baiyun] What are you laughing at now? I think there's something wrong here. Look at my gesture.

[Black soil] Got it.

[Baiyun] You ask, Cui.

[Xiao Cui] Aunt, let's talk about your book.

[Baiyun] Books?

Yes

[Baiyun] There are many things to say when telling stories. So ... where do we start? (gesturing)

[Xiao Cui] Let's talk about signing books first.

[Baiyun] Book signing?

Ah.

[Baiyun] That guy's signing ceremony was quite big that day! That's really: gongs and drums are loud, firecrackers are ringing, red flags are flying, and people are crowded. (gesturing) That pushed me under the table and all the books fell off. (Squat down)

oh Then I'll ask my uncle again

[Baiyun] OK. Ask you, my book, my book.

[Cui] Ah, uncle, uncle, were you there the day my aunt signed the book?

[black soil] didn't sign the book.

No?

[Black soil] is all white! (Repeat the gesture of Baiyun, the following are all)

[Xiao Cui] So, what Aunt just said was "a sea of people"?

[Black Soil] Oh, Mom, I heard that all the people in the town who gave away the books went to get them. I went back to put up the wall. That one, left and right, (gesturing) later, when I went to the toilet, I saw (squatted) such a thick stack of books. (Parents high-five)

[Cui] Auntie, give me the earphone.

[Baiyun] The IQ is quite high.

[Black soil] Yes.

[Trav] That's what happened. Just now, I asked my uncle and aunt the same question.

[Baiyun] Yes!

[Trav] But you two answer. ...

[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.

This is totally different. Well, I'll put on my headphones and listen to music. You work in pairs.

[Baiyun] No, why, what did you say? How did we get here?

[Black Soil] I came by tractor.

[Baiyun] Where's my skirt?

[black soil] rented for forty-one days.

[Baiyun] Where's my book?

[Black Soil] I did what you did. Didn't you say you were completely glued to the wall? Finally, read in the toilet.

[Baiyun] I told you not to tell the truth. Why don't you remember?

[Black soil] Then there is no way out. His things have been detained. This child is not good at school! I said he would go. Trav.

(Xiao Cui takes off her headphones)

[Black Soil] You put it on. (Thumbs up) You are a bad student, you are so insidious! You don't blame yourself for not sleeping. You have too many brains. You should, ah!

[Cui] Ah, thank you!

[Baiyun] Their hosts are all like this! Tell you, from now on, don't say a word, don't say a word, do you hear, remember? Say something!

[Black Soil] Why don't you shut up? !

[Baiyun] It's too difficult to cooperate with you. You said I had no tacit understanding in my life! Trey, take it off.

[Xiao Cui] Hey (takes off headphones).

[Baiyun] Let's keep talking.

[Cui] Good! Then I'll ask uncle another question.

(Black soil indicates that Xiao Cui can't talk)

Hmm?

[Baiyun] Huh?

Ah, what's the matter, uncle? (Black soil covers your mouth)

[Baiyun] Ah, he has a stomachache. Say you have a stomachache.

(Black soil covers the stomach)

[Baiyun] Why is it still drooping?

[Black soil] (clutching his stomach) Where is his stomach?

[Xiao Cui] Oh, aunt, your family education is really strict! Uncle will be hurt where you hurt him.

[Baiyun] No, he's, uh, not feeling well. Ask me.

[Cui] I just read your book. The first chapter is called "going home". Probably the last time I watched the program and went back to Tieling. Is it particularly spectacular?

[Baiyun] How can it be called "special" spectacular? This is "quite" spectacular! That guy, the scene is really big, really: gongs and drums are loud, firecrackers are ringing, red flags are flying, people are crowded, so ...

[Black Soil] Xiao Cui, I beg you, let me put this thing on!

[Baiyun] (takes off headphones) Is what I said false?

[Black soil] Really.

[Baiyun] You're not listening, are you?

[Black soil] Yes.

Then why are you hiding it? !

[Black soil] I have a stomachache.

[Baiyun] Why is it so annoying? Cui, keep asking, ah. Ignore him, he has never seen the world.

[Trav] I know. In fact, my aunt has seen a lot of the world since she became a celebrity. Does she take part in many activities?

[Baiyun] Quite a lot. All day, we just performed everywhere, gave speeches everywhere and cut the ribbon.

[Xiao Cui] There are also many appearance fees, right?

[Black Soil] She is eighty and I am forty.

[Baiyun] After tax.

[Cui] Where did you cut the ribbon?

[Baiyun] Both are large and medium-sized enterprises.

[Black soil] Pancake shops, blacksmith furnaces and so on.

[Baiyun] Ah ... There is a big chicken farm in our country, and I cut it all down.

[Black Soil] Yes, she got bird flu after cutting it, and the next day. More than 10,000 chickens died at that time. Finally, I gave her a nickname, "I cut the plum."

[Baiyun] Will you suffocate if you don't talk? Can I choke you? !

[Black Soil] I can suppress madness.

[Baiyun] Why is it so annoying? You said you were. ...

[Black Soil] Tell the truth ...

[Baiyun] I don't want to say that your business has brought you a blow and left you with face. (to Xiao Cui) I don't want to say anything about him! You said just him, so people can go out and sing. Can you sing with this voice? That day, I went to our nursing home to sing for others. There are seven old people sitting under the cage. He shouted "Ow" and fainted.

[Cui] Isn't there another one?

[Baiyun] Another dean refused to let go of my hand. That guy can shake hard. "Elder sister, eldest brother this voice is too sudden. I can't take it anymore. Let big brother go home quickly. People sing for money. He sings like hell! "

[Black Soil] Hello!

[Baiyun] What's the matter?

[Black Soil] is going to give a speech in a mental hospital.

[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.

[black soil] said a day and a night.

[Baiyun] What's the matter? All the mental patients were discharged from the hospital.

[Trav] It worked.

[Black Soil] The doctor is crazy.

[Baiyun] Which doctor is crazy, let me ask you?

[Black Soil] Dr. Cui is crazy.

[Baiyun] Dr. Cui? !

[Black Soil] Little Doctor Cui.

[Baiyun] How can you talk so irresponsibly? You said you ... Trey, don't eat your heart. He didn't say anything about you. So ... What about this Alzheimer's disease? I forgot to take my medicine when I went out. Cui, let's continue to talk about literature so as not to interrupt him. Why is it so annoying? You said you ...

[Cui] So, that aunt, shall we talk about your book?

[Baiyun] Mm-hmm.

[Xiao Cui] I heard that your Zi Yue 2 is being written.

[Baiyun] There are more than ten thousand words of 10 before the deadline.

[Black soil] Oh, my God ~ ~ ~

[Baiyun] What's the matter? !

[Black soil] I have a stomachache.

[Baiyun] Hold on! ! (to Xiao Cui) You ask! !

[Cui] (startled) Ouch! (The book falls to the ground)

[Baiyun] Go ahead, Cui. You keep asking.

[Xiao Cui] I heard that, er, readers are particularly looking forward to it?

[Baiyun] How do you say "special" expectations? That's "quite" expectation! That guy, er, wanted to watch Zi Yue No.2 after watching Zi Yue No.1, but he held back.

[Black Soil] Well, that's true. That is "quite" uncomfortable! Well, when the village head came to my house, he blocked the door and said to you, "Don't let your wife run around, just write Zi Yue II, because there is no paper in the toilet at the head of the village."

[Baiyun] Xiao Cui, I beg you that CCTV will ban me. I'm leaving. I'm not recording.

[Cui] Hey, why did Auntie leave again?

[Black Soil] What are you doing?

[Cui] Don't make noise, don't make noise, and then go?

[Baiyun] What are you talking about? You said I was going to refer to this program again, but you stripped this guy ... it's all live, watch!

[Trav] It's okay. The ratings of this program are very low.

[Baiyun] Not even low. I'm a celebrity the size of white clouds. I'm leaving.

[Black Soil] Let's go! Show off in an ostentatious manner. What the hell are you? ! What celebrity are you? That's a personal name! Why do you think you are like this? ! You just, uh, recorded Tell the Truth once. Why did you do this to you, huh? I am a little old man and a little old woman in the countryside. What book should I write? Write a book before you graduate from primary school! You see, this family has suppressed six words in seven days.

[Baiyun] Why?

[Black Soil] I don't like to talk about you, just tell the truth. How tired you are living here, are you? You're floating. You can't tell when the wind is strong and your clouds are floating away.

[Baiyun] What's the matter? Your black soil is capable and floating.

[Black Soil] I float like a sandstorm. You go, ah. Trey, I'm sorry.

[Trav] It's okay.

[Black Soil] Your aunt is not your aunt six years ago, and your uncle will always be your uncle.

[Cui] Why does it sound so awkward?

[Black soil] Don't be awkward. Didn't leave the last sentence. Will grandpa record it for you? I said, sit down.

[Baiyun] I thought about the last sentence, but I haven't said it yet. I also want to say. Why?

[Black Soil] Aren't you going?

[Xiao Cui] (to the audience) Oh, you see, the ratings of this program are already low. When you say you want to broadcast it, the ratings are "quite" high. (to white clouds and black soil) Hey, uncles and aunts, our program has been changed. In the end, not one sentence is suitable for everyone. This is a talent show. Look, I prepared this fan for you, one for each person, and this is yours.

[Baiyun] I don't want it, give it to him!

[Black Soil] "Writer", you can't have this thing.

[Xiao Cui] Talent show? You ... look at the handkerchief I brought you. (Drum handkerchief)

[Black Soil] Where did you clean the glass for this talent show? This thing should not be like that. It should be like this. I'll catch it. Look at that. (performing handkerchief)

Hey!

[Black Soil] Look, look. Take this thing, throw it out and get it back.

Hey, okay. Hey, let's welcome uncle to perform a duet for us, shall we?

[Black Soil] There is no one around me.

[Cui] Is Aunt there?

[Black Soil] She can't sing.

[Baiyun] Nobody invited me either.

Please.

[black soil] old beard. (Handing a fan)

[Baiyun] Sample.

[Black Soil] What are you going to do?

[Baiyun] Change clothes.

(Performing a duet)

[Black Soil] My wife!

[Baiyun] What?

[Black soil] Come on!

[Baiyun] Take a walk.

(singing)

[Baiyun] Spring flowers bloom in the first month.

[Black Soil] Baiyun Black Soil came to the TV station.

[Baiyun] Speaking of the past,

[black soil] can't talk together.

[Baiyun] He said black, I said white,

[Black Soil] She pretends, and I tear it down.

[Baiyun] can't be erased in front of Xiao Cui.

[Black Soil] Dare not tell the truth.

[Baiyun] [Black soil] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Trav] It's all very real.

[Black Soil] Why is there a nickname?

[White clouds] [Black soil] People float up, mm-hmm.

[Baiyun] Boiling water doesn't ring,

[Black soil] didn't open when it rang.

[Xiao Cui] I broke the enough paper and made it clear.

[Baiyun] Notebook points,

[Black soil] is real.

[Baiyun] Black is black,

[Black soil] White is white.

[Cui] Black and white cannot be reversed.

[White clouds] [Black soil] When you are sleepy, go to sleep quickly, and wake up when you sleep well. Hey hey hey hey hey hey.

[Baiyun] I wish you all,

[White Cloud] [Black Soil] Relax, be happy, be healthy and be happy, and rush to the big stage of life. Yeah, yeah. Ouch.

Extended data

"Little Cui Shi Shi Shuo" is a sketch of CCTV Spring Festival Evening in 2006. Zhao Benshan decorated it with black soil, Song Dandan decorated it with white clouds, and Cui Yongyuan decorated it with Xiao Cui. This is the second part of Zhao Benshan's prose "White Clouds and Black Soil Series" and the sequel to "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow".

The story revolves around the life of Baiyun and Heitu after their return from the Spring Festival Evening. Aunt Baiyun is obviously vain and doesn't want to live a bad life now, while Uncle Black Soil is frank. After they became famous, their economy, life and even their feelings changed, and many things were unimaginable.