1212 poking fun at his own funny talk.

1. Now, high school students are celebrating Singles Day, primary school students are celebrating Valentine's Day, and only a group of junior high school students are forcing to celebrate Children's Day.

2. I have already spent all my money in advance to prevent the double twelve.

3. Everyone else has their owner pulling Dad to clean the shopping cart, but I didn't, because I didn't want it.

4. How about we play a game? You send me some snacks, let me guess who sent them.

5. It is said that the boy who buys snacks for girls is the most handsome.

6. I went to Double 12 to steal my number instead of chopping hands. How poor you are.

7. Being single is not illegal, funny or shameful.

8. double 11, a boy who eats dirt, chopped his hands and feet, making his body strong and moved the world.

9. Shuang 12 calls it Chopping Hands Festival in a friendly way.

1. Every time after buying in buy buy, I will repent, but I will never change.

11. Why was I single last year and I am still single this year? Do you buy one get one free when you are single?

12. I was happy when I bought it and sad when I delivered it.

13.5. I'm still single! This heart is so cold! Let's meet Erkang!

14. Look for a friend, find a boyfriend, salute, shake hands, and then go after the double 12.

15. High energy ahead, Double Twelve is approaching with a big wave of bonuses!

16. You are a half circle, I am a half circle, and the meeting combination is a circle of love. Take you as the center, love as the radius and happiness as the circumference, and draw concentric circles of our love. 12.12 Love Day. May our love be happy and full.

17. The wind will roar again! The horse is barking! Double twelve is growling!

18.7. Tired to be a dog, the double 12 is defeated.

19. Happiness is another kind of pain for others to see, and carnival is another kind of loneliness for yourself.

2. Singles Day, if you are the one, bloody battle 12, is the right way. 1212 Make fun of your own jokes (Part II)

21. Happiness can be bought, such as Taobao.

22. imperial edict! The emperor said: I know that you are faithful to love and infatuated with one another. Today is the day of showing love, and I specially named you as the "one-quality love ambassador" and called on the whole people to "be faithful in love all their lives". I admire this. Love (12) months and love (12) days.

23. Please open the paper box of express delivery and leave some for me so that I can cover it for the winter.

24. The children all ran away, and Double Twelve came to fight with the bonus!

25. Every time I go to double 11, there will be two kinds of people: those who call themselves chop-handers, and those who spit out the defeated women. The former is nothing more than showing off wealth, and the latter is the most hateful, not only having a daughter-in-law, but also TM showing off wealth!

26. What should be the best discount for Double Twelve? Your hand.

27. The Double Twelve is just around the corner, and the outbreak is now.

28. We have known each other for a long time and share the same interests. We love each other deeply and depend on each other. We care about each other and love each other. We * * * build a love nest, and Qi Xin works together. Love Day: Loving you is my lifelong pursuit!

29. Girlfriend: Good news and bad news, which do you listen to first? Me: Bad news. Girlfriend: I'm going to buy something for 5 thousand yuan. Me: What's the good news? Girlfriend: Double twelve and half price!

3. Do a good job in double twelve, get a promotion and raise, become the general manager and CEO, and win Bai Fumei!

31. If you are single, I don't think I am single.

32. I thought forgetting can make me happy, but what I feel is more loneliness?

33. When you are young, you should walk around. If you walk around more, you will find that the whole world is lovers, and you are the only one in single dog.

34. Other people are taking off their singles when they celebrate Singles Day. We only celebrate Singles Day here to prove that we are single.

35.4. My husband's house was recently demolished, and millions of dollars were demolished. I was so excited. Today, he told me that there was a bubble on my tongue, and my first reaction was: Do you have money to burn?

36. I haven't had time to watch Taobao Tmall yet. It feels like I haven't reviewed for the exam tomorrow.

37. Since I met Ma Yun, I have achieved two major successes: successful login and successful payment. I also own my own car: a shopping cart. I also understand my own shortcomings: insufficient balance!

38. Singles' Day is coming. I'll teach you how to get rid of the bill. Come after me.

39. How long should I wait?

4. Looking back at the broken neck thousands of times in previous lives, I got a look at you in this life; 12.12 On the Day of Showing Love, I would like to say a few words to you: I fell in love with you at first sight, and a short message expressed my love; We should live up to the neck of previous lives! Make fun of the humor of life.

1. The road to success is always under construction!

2. With you, I forget to eat and sleep. Without you, I don't think about tea and rice. Without you, I have something to worry about. Without you, I have my heart and soul. Without you, I have nothing to do. Damn game.

3. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

4. I'm just playing fat, which is not as serious as your ugliness!

5. Real foodies dare to face their thick thighs.

6. I changed when I met him, and I couldn't penetrate two bullets in my face.

7. Why sleep long before you die? You will sleep after you die.

8. if you hang out, your wife will change sooner or later!

9. how can you lose weight if you are not full?

1. If there is an afterlife, I must become a nerve, because if I leave, you will be brain-dead.

11. Those hurdles that you can't get through are all because of your short legs!

12. Please don't call me black, that's to protect you secretly.

13. This kind of thing, taking a nap, really still sleeps soundly on the school desk.

14. please read aloud: lying on a plum tree smells flowers, and lying on a branch hurts and hates low. Invited to smell the broken stones, lying wet in Chun Lv.

15. Don't bother me until you buy me snacks. Baby's time is precious.

16. Because I broke up with the quilt in the morning, the quilt is very cold to me now.

17. Sometimes I drink a little wine, and I can't figure it out by the cold moonlight. Why should I come down to earth?

18. Don't flatten your mouth, I'll want to bite it, because it's too much like a sausage.

19. I won't open it in a hurry after receiving the express delivery. I think I have learned to be reserved.

2. You are like the love in the palm of your hand. If you close your palm, it's strange that you don't suffocate.

21. I have to fight with the bed every day, and usually I lose.

22. Every time after quarreling with others, I don't know how to scold until I lie in bed.

23. I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

24. He doesn't care what happened to you. Don't worry, and I'm too lazy to care about you.

25. Since my holiday, washing my face every day has nothing to do with me.

26. Everything in my home computer is slow, so it crashes quickly.

27. Homework Jun, Gong Ling has been destroyed, and she has lost her mind. Today, you and I are determined.

28. Don't say you are single dog, the dog is dead at your age.

29. Every day, I watch different tastes of sleeping pills walking around the podium.

3. I often go to the seaside, but I don't like the sea, but I like the waves.

31. Go to bed hungry and count sheep. One, two, three, four, five, six strings

32. Years have smoothed my edges and corners. Obviously, you are fat and don't admit it!

33. Touch your chest. Well, I'm still young and I'm a baby.

34. The so-called growth means that when you hear the word rough, you can't think of the sea anymore.

35. Actually, I wasn't fat when I was a child. Really, the sentence "No leftovers" ruined my life.

36. You must hold your head high so that others can't see your double chin.

37. The name of a single man is single dog, and that of a single woman is Goubuli.

38. You are like a moving magnet. You always repel me and don't forget to attract me.

39. I have mastered a way to hide private money, and the next thing I need is money.

4. I thought it was a flower by the cliff, but later I learned that it was just a slag in the sea of people!

41. I never doubt that you are a beauty, I just doubt my aesthetics.

42. Be strong. Failure is also a part of success. Where you fall, you will be wrong.

43. Sleeping is such a thing that I still sleep soundly on my school desk.

44. A class has a harem, and there are always a few people vying for favor.

45. I think my math scores are worthy of my math teacher's face value!

46. Brother, don't make me use my influence in Beijing. I didn't want to start a bloody affair.

47. Just look at me coldly, don't hit me just because you can't get me.

48. People who used to turn to ashes can recognize it, but now they can't recognize it with makeup.

49. Don't help me. I'm not drunk. The road ahead will move. Help me hold that road.

5. What's the barrier yarn for women chasing men? It's just across the Sahara desert.

51. Since I learned to talk back, my wife also learned to sharpen the knife.

52. I went to class early today. When I first entered the classroom, the teacher smiled and said to me, "What a rare visitor!" At that time, I was stupid.

53. You'd better show your love at noon. Do you know why? Because sooner or later there will be retribution.

54. The review boat will turn over as soon as it says, and the desire to sleep will come as soon as it says.

55. Ask me for a gift for Children's Day. I can give it, but you should pay attention to it in a few days on Father's Day.

56. My way of expressing my feelings has always been simple and rude, so I have time to sleep together.

57. Girls who love to laugh are generally not too unlucky, but generally have poor grades.

58. A boy who warms only one girl is called a warm man, and a boy who warms all girls is called a boiler.

59. if you want to pour me, pour the beautiful one, and give your life to the ugly one. I'll show you what a thousand cups are not drunk.

6. Holding a hot, charging mobile phone and putting life and death at risk is a rare heroic moment in my life.

61. How much sorrow can you have, just like a pair of autumn trousers for everyone.

62. I can also type blindly, but others type blindly without looking at the keyboard, while I don't look at the screen.

63. I have many superpowers, not just super cute.

64. Everyone who shakes his legs has a sewing machine in his heart.

65. You can disagree with me, but I can hit you.

66. Night will not treat those who stay up late, it will give you dark circles.

67. If you suffer losses, don't drink water, or you will get dirty.

68. What is the biggest shame in life? Cheated and failed!

69. I saw a handsome guy in the distance. When I got closer, I saw it was a mirror.

7. Korean descendants are used for pick up hot chicks, and China's Houyi is used to shoot the sun.

71. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

72. It's better to talk about QQ for half a year than to study Chinese for one year.

73. When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

74. I want to fall in love early, but it's already late.

75. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

76. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs are always pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

77. If you don't take a bath in spring, mosquitoes bite everywhere. Also, ghosts scream, scaring you to run.

78. Beating is kissing, scolding is love, and love is so deep that you can kick it.

79. The object you are pursuing has already been met. Don't be discouraged, there will always be points.

8. You have the nerve to lie, so I have no nerve to believe it.

81. Salary is like a period. It comes once a month and disappears in a week.

82. When I passed a person, my clothes were all scraped and no sparks were sparked.

83. House is a very unstable state. As long as there is a power failure, it will degenerate into a caveman.

84. Don't ask me for anything, let alone anything!

85. I smoke because it hurts my lungs and I'm not sad.

86. The man riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest. Those with wings are not necessarily angels, but also bird people!

87. Wukong, don't be so cruel. Give it to the teacher and let her ride and kill her.

88. My schizophrenia has been cured, and now I and I are fine.

89. Life is so vast and there is so much homework.

9. I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually spilled 1 ml of lard.

91. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine and I will get hot. Don't piss me off, or I'll melt you.

92. Life is so fucking funny, because life always fucking plays with me.

93. I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.

94. It is romantic for two people to stare at each other for a long time.

95. Cucumber lies in shooting, and life lies in hi.

96. I always feel that the bed, too neatly laid, will have a little meaning of enjoying my old age. Well, it's still messy and more energetic.

97. I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't talk so much as you like.

98. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

99. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus.

1. People who have traveled all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao. Wishing yourself a funny birthday talk

1. Oh, yeah, I wish myself a happy birthday.

2. Does anyone remember that today is my birthday?

3. Happy birthday, every day for the rest of your life.

4. One day in a certain year, I came into this world!

5. Today is my birthday, Zhao Yuejun. Happy birthday!

6. Happy birthday, always healthy and beautiful!

7. I want you and me for a lifetime and wish myself a happy birthday

8. Congratulations. You are one step closer to the world of adults.

9. There are many blessings among the layers of greenery. Happy birthday to me!